Chapter 13 #4
-What do you know that I don’t?-
-A great many things. I could make a list, but I fear you will grow very old before I am finished.-
-Have I ever told you that you’re an ass?-
-I love you too.-
I can’t help but smile and Soren huffs out a quiet breath.
“Now,” Ryker says, smiling widely and gesturing towards the enormous dining table, “let us eat and celebrate the joining of our kingdoms in this Makers’ forsaken war.”
We spend the next several hours eating course after course of some of the most delicious food I’ve ever had.
Elk and pheasant and several types of fish caught off Tithmoore’s coast that aren’t found in the southern seas, stews and spiced spreads for the various types of bread, roasted vegetables that put even Cookie’s to shame.
Something I don’t want to look too closely at is brought in on an enormous silver platter for Soren and he practically dives on it as soon as they set it down.
Apparently it’s some sort of boar that is only found within Tithmoore’s borders and it’s delicious, according to the cat.
Ryker asks me many questions, but thankfully many of them I don’t even have to really lie about to answer.
He asks about my favorite foods and hobbies, what kinds of things I’ve seen and experienced since coming to be with Blackheart’s army, about Soren, and though I have to choose my words carefully, I find I can give pieces of the truth about myself to this kind man, that I want to give him pieces.
Blackheart watches all the while, seeming to be dying for each new kernel of information, begging silently for Ryker to keep asking me questions.
When we finally depart, I’m full to bursting and feel as if I’ve made a great friend in King Ryker.
Who would have ever guessed that the outcast Gifted who’s been hiding for most of her life would be friends with a king?
I smile to myself at the thought as the carriage pulls to a stop in front of the inn, surprising me.
I’d been so lost in thought, I’d barely noticed the ride at all.
“What are you smiling about?” Blackheart asks softly. It’s the first he’s spoken since leaving the palace.
“I’m just…happy,” I tell him, honestly. “I had a wonderful time tonight. It was nice.”
“It was,” he agrees, shifting forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “This alliance is crucial for our cause. And it wouldn’t have happened without you.”
“I didn’t do anything,” I say, though I wonder suddenly about why Ryker would possibly ally with a monster like Dorian when he seems like such a good person.
There has to be some explanation, something I’m missing, I’m sure of it.
But the worry fades away when I find myself staring at Blackheart, thoughts veering very, very far from alliances and wars and kings.
“You did,” he insists, voice low and sending a warm shiver down my spine.
“What I don’t understand is why.” He studies me in that intense way of his, his eyes looking nearly black in the low lantern light within the carriage.
My heart speeds, my pulse thrumming like the wings of a hummingbird at my throat in what should be fear of him finding out the truth.
But it’s nothing to do with that at all.
It’s only this man, the way he’s looking at me, the strength of the things I’m feeling. ..
But a moment later, we lurch to a stop. He blinks and shakes himself before exiting the carriage without another word.
I let out a long, quiet exhale before moving to exit.
I step up to the edge of the doorway, ready to maneuver myself down in this ballgown, but I gasp in surprise when Blackheart’s big hands settle on my waist. My hands fly to his shoulders to steady myself as he lifts me down, setting me to the ground, but not immediately letting go or stepping away.
My heart thunders and my breath hitches as his thumbs move in lazy circles over my hips, somehow scorching me through the thick fabric of the dress.
Neither of us moves away. Stupid, stupid, stupid. ..
My hands slide slowly from his shoulders down his chest, my right index finger tracing over the dragon broach.
“Who are you, Tess?” he asks quietly, reaching one hand up to brush a strand of hair from my temple, his knuckles skimming my cheek ever so gently.
My lips part on a soft inhale and I curl my fingers into the front of his shirt, desperate to pull him closer, to never let go again.
The forcefulness of the thought startles me, but I don’t care.
It feels right. It feels fated. Just as Soren has always been in my path, so has Blackheart, I know it somehow, deep in my bones.
“What’s your name?” I ask quietly, eyes darting to his lips. “Your real name, I mean. Surely your mother didn’t name you Blackheart, that seems very rude…”
He chuckles low. “Killian,” he says, voice rough, leaning down towards me. “Call me Killian.” The words have a strange edge to them, like he’s been desperate to say them for so long.
“Killian,” I whisper as his face nears mine.
He sucks in a sharp breath, his fingers clenching on my waist as he tugs me forward so that our bodies are even closer.
He seems to shudder at the sound of his name on my lips, and right now, I need far more than only that on them.
I need his mouth on mine, his lips and tongue and teeth…
“Tess!” a voice cries out from a few yards down the lane. Blackheart—Killian—and I leap apart, and he curses low, taking another step away and straightening. “Tess!” Odessa cries again, sprinting forward.
“Oh, I didn’t know you were back! How—oof!” I grunt as she throws herself at me, nearly knocking me over. She wraps her arms around me and squeezes so hard that it’s a little hard to breathe.
“They told me,” she says, nearly sobbing, “they told me what you did for Mia, that you wouldn’t stop, that you wouldn’t leave her.
That you dug at the rocks until you were bloody.
” She pulls away and cradles my face so that I have to meet her intense gaze.
The lanterns above us glint off the tears in her eyes.
“Thank you,” she says so seriously that I have to swallow several times to get around the sudden lump in my throat.
“Thank you, Tess. Thank you for being there for her when I couldn’t be.
Thank you for not giving up on her. I’ll never be able to repay you for this. ”
“It’s nothing,” I tell her, gripping her wrists. “Truly. The little brat is annoyingly likable. I couldn’t leave her stranded in a cave.” I smile at her and she huffs out a choked laugh, sniffling a bit.
“She really is, isn’t she?”
“So frustrating.”
I look her over. She’s still in her fighting leathers, her hair in her warrior braids. I can’t tell in the dim lantern light if the dark smudges on her face and neck are dirt or blood. “Are you alright? Did everything go ok?”
“I’m fine,” she says, waving my worry away.
“We got in a tiny tussle with a group of their own scouts, but we came out on top in the end. We lost Charles,” she says solemnly and though I didn’t know him well, barely exchanged a few words over these past few weeks, the loss of a Gifted hits me in a strange way.
We are so rare, that it feels like another light extinguished in the darkness, only a few candles still burning.
“But I don’t want to talk about that right now,” she says, wiping at her eyes, and I can tell that she needs time to process the loss and whatever she went through.
But I know that she knows that I’ll be there to talk about it if she wishes when she’s ready.
Whatever last bit of a wall that had been between us has crumbled to dust now, and no matter how stupid it may be given the uncertainty of my future, I’ve gained a true friend in Odessa.
“I want to talk about this fantastic dress.” She steps back to admire the garment.
“Why are you in this? Bored of trousers already?”
“Oh, we were invited to dine with the King,” I say with mock haughtiness, straightening and looking down my nose at her—which is quite a feat since she stands a head taller than I do.
“We?” she asks, pierced brow quirking. I turn to look at Killian only to realize that he’s gone.
“Oh. Um, Blackheart was with me, but he seems to have disappeared. Soren went too. I tried to put a jaunty little hat on him, but he refused.” Odessa laughs, pulling me into another hug.
“I need to hear all about this.”
“Well come on, then. Mia is in my room anyway.”
I glance over my shoulder again as we head inside, as if Killian might appear, but he’s nowhere to be found.
What would have happened had Odessa not interrupted?
Was it a good thing that she did? Is exploring this connection with him the right choice given our strange circumstances?
After all, soon enough he’ll hand me over to a monster.
How can I want to be with the man who plans to do that? ?
I can’t. I shouldn’t.
But great fucking Makers, I do.