Chapter 25
Chapter
Twenty-Five
TESNI
Itake a few deep breaths, preparing myself for my next performance.
Isn’t that what all of my life is? Simply performance after performance, playing different parts.
Sometimes the doting Gifted and ward; sometimes the cold fire bitch who would burn an entire village to the ground without a second thought; sometimes the lovesick woman who only wants a life of safety with the man she loves.
I’m not sure which is the real me anymore. Maybe all of them. Maybe none of them.
Today, I’m playing the role of escaped prisoner of a madman who fought for her life to return to the place she truly belongs: Barony’s side.
“Here we go,” I whisper inside the carriage I flagged down just outside the city.
I open the door and step down just as the footmen come rushing forward.
“Lady Tesni!” one man cries in alarm. I have no idea what his name might be, though I know I've seen his face many times. I allow my knees to buckle and fall into his waiting arms. He catches me easily and I clutch at his shoulders, a shudder racking through my body. I need to play this just right, the correct mix of vulnerability and strength, of fear and vengeance. “Great Makers, what’s happened to you?”
“Barony,” I croak, clearing my throat before shifting my shoulders back and adding. “I need the king. Now.”
“Yes, yes of course, my Lady.” My Lady. Not my Queen.
Not yet, I think sharply. Soon, though, if this all goes according to plan.
My schemes usually do, save this ransom fiasco with Hastings, though I’ll blame Thea for that.
My darling fucking sister. I’m not sure how I feel about her ruining that particular plan.
Part of me actually respects her for standing up for herself finally, for taking charge of her own life.
But the other part vows to burn her to ash.
As much as this new plan to become queen entices me, I would have been happier to leave all of this behind, to live out my days in luxury on an island where the sun and heat would ease the never-ending ache in my chest. I imagine that’s how Thea felt all those years down in Helios, an intense longing for the cold and snow.
I suppose she’ll get what she longed for now that she’ll be a prisoner of Dorian—at least until we’re able to take Duskthorne ourselves.
So, yes, becoming queen will suffice as a second option, but Makers I do not want to deal with the bullshit of war and battle and Barony’s little experiments.
I hadn’t lied when I told Thea that there will be no winners.
My only hope is that Barony will agree to my terms that my Gift will not be touched. Ever.
The rest of the Gifteds are on their own.
As long as I’m whole and safe and reigning, I don’t really care what happens to everyone else.
I know that I should, but that part of me is just..
.broken. Or at the very least, lost far too deeply in the darkness to make a difference.
At least I know that I’m a monster, that my soul is twisted and I’m not quite.
..right. I admit it freely and openly to myself.
People like Barony are the real monsters, the ones who think they’re normal, good, decent people, justifying all of their horrible acts for this reason or that and never admitting what they truly are.
The man helps me inside, telling the other to fetch the king immediately.
He leads me to Barony’s personal study, looking entirely uncertain of how to assist, taking in the blood, the ripped clothes, the marks on my wrists where I was so clearly restrained.
It had taken a while and quite a bit of pain to inflict all of these horrors upon myself, but it had to be done. It is all part of the plan.
“Should I fetch Gilda? Some towels and hot water, and some bandages, or—”
“I just want Barony,” I say quietly, voice hard, but trembling ever so slightly. I need him to see me like this before Gilda cleans me up. I worked far too hard on this costume, as it were.
“Yes, my Lady. Of course. He’ll be here soon.
I’ll have some food and water brought in immediately.
Perhaps some wine, as well.” I give him a small, grateful smile, and though he blinks in surprise for a moment, his lips curl in response before he bows his head and leaves me alone.
A few moments later, the doors burst open and Barony barrels inside.
“Tesni, I—oh great Makers,” he whispers when I turn and his eyes travel the length of my body.
Ripped dress; blood covering the side of my face, my cheek swollen and black; the red, raw marks around each wrist where the rope cut into my skin and burned my flesh.
They settle on my throat, on the collar fastened there.
Tears well but I shift my shoulders back.
“What happened to you?” he demands as he strides forward.
“He took me,” I spit, but let fear and anger and pain all shine through. Perhaps I should have joined the playhouse. I would have been a star.
“Who? Who took you? What happened?” He reaches out one hand toward my face and I flinch back.
He presses his lips into a hard line, but reaches forward again, slowly, and I let him run his fingers gently over my bruised cheek.
I wince and inhale sharply, and he searches my eyes.
To his credit, his black depths are filled with concern and confusion and fury.
Oh yes, there’s plenty of fury. Though he gave me away like I was nothing more than a piece of jewelry, in his mind I will always belong to him, and someone has taken—and damaged—what is his.
He does not take kindly to such slights.
He leads me to the velvet sofa and eases me down beside him. Gilda comes in then with a tray of soup, bread, cheese, fruit, water, and wine. She gasps quietly as she sets it down.
“Oh, my Lady,” she whispers, voice quavering. “Shall I bring the healing supplies?”
“Yes,” Barony says at the same time as I say, “Not yet.” He frowns at me and Gilda waits, looking between the two of us.
“I...I need to discuss this with you now.” I swallow hard and let my strong facade crack just a bit as I add softly, “If I don’t do it now, I’m afraid I’ll never be able to speak of it.”
His eyes soften and he nods.
“Give us a bit of time to talk, Gilda. I’ll send for you when we’re ready.”
She inclines her head and leaves the room.
“Tell me.”
“Hastings,” I say, shuddering in a combination of fear and revulsion.
“Hastings orchestrated some sort of scheme to have me kidnapped on the way to Marrowood and then steal the ransom. Except...well, it wasn’t me headed to Marrowood.
He...Makers, he found Thea, Your Majesty.
You might have guessed that’s who killed all of Amon’s army—Hastings told me that they were encased in ice—but he told me that he fabricated that body all those years ago, making some beggar girl look like Thea, but really, she escaped.
I don’t know how or where she’s been—maybe he’s had her locked away all these years, I’m not sure.
But he put her in the carriage to Marrowood in my place and let the route and time be leaked to Hunters, knowing it would be ambushed and lead to a kidnapping, and that you would pay whatever ransom was demanded in order to keep the alliance with Marrowood in place. ”
His brow furrows as he thinks through everything I’ve said, filling in the gaps, figuring it all out. He isn’t the smartest man in Hypathia, but he can put this together, at least.
“He was going to steal the ransom when he went to deliver it for your supposed safe return and take it and you...where?”
“One of the islands, I think. He wouldn’t tell me the exact location.
He said that I belonged to him. He was a madman, delusional.
He acted as if we were in love, that I shared his feelings and would be happy about being taken and chained up like a dog.
He said he was going to make me his wife and keep me locked away forever.
..collared forever.” I run my fingers along the metal.
Barony’s jaw clenches.
“Did he...” His throat bobs as he swallows, trying to figure out how to ask the question.
“No,” I tell him, letting out a relieved breath and Barony relaxes a fraction.
“No,” I continue, “he said he was saving that for our wedding night, thank the Makers.” I clear my throat lightly before continuing.
“I...I couldn’t fight back against him, not with this on.
” I cast my eyes downward and Barony clenches his fists.
I suppress a smile before looking up to meet his eyes again.
“Oh Makers, Tesni, I’m so sorry. It’s my fault.
I never should have trusted that bastard, I never should have put that collar on you.
..” He clenches his jaw. “I never should have sold you for the alliance. I could have made King Tybalt join another way, I never should have given into his demands. I was going to get you back afterwards, of course—there was already a plan in place, don’t worry—but I shouldn’t have risked it.
You belong with me. You are mine, you always have been.
” That greed and fury blazes in his eyes, just as I knew it would when someone threatened to take what was his, take his power, in any form. Men are nothing if not predictable.