Chapter 5
FIVE
Larsen
“So…” Blair says the next morning when I hop out of Kian’s truck.
“What?”
She laughs. “Oh, come on!”
I giggle. “So, that’s Kian.”
“And?”
“And we’ve been hanging out.”
She high-fives me. “We should double-date!”
I nod nervously, but she’s too busy texting Cole about setting up a date night and doesn’t notice.
But as we turn to enter the bank, I feel like a stone has settled in my stomach. I hate lying to my friends. I’m already doing it about my car, but now everyone is going to think I’m dating Kian when he’s just being nice and teaching me to drive.
I should come clean and tell my friends everything. I know them well enough now that they wouldn’t think less of me. They wouldn’t make fun of me; they’d offer to help. Still… I can’t seem to do it.
I should probably distance myself from Kian. The more time we spend together, the more I fall for him. I can’t tell people we’re dating. That fantasy is too tempting. Plus, if he ever found out, I’d be so embarrassed when he was just doing me a favor.
Blair and I put our things away and get settled.
“Morning,” Robert says as he comes out of his office.
“Morning, boss!”
He shakes his head at the title, but his mouth twitches with a smile. “We have a busy day today.”
Blair and I both look at him doubtfully.
“Really?” she deadpans, looking around the empty lobby.
Robert laughs. “Yep, we need to update the software today. We’ve got this new program, and we’re providing training on it in the breakroom.”
We listen as he goes over what we need to do. I head to the breakroom first for the training while Blair sets up the computers.
I’m glad for the distraction because it forces me to stop thinking about Kian. But as lunchtime approaches, he manages to creep back into my mind.
“Want to grab lunch?” I ask Blair as I finish the training.
“Not today,” she says distractedly. “I’m almost done with this computer.”
Grabbing my purse and phone, I wander down the street to Toasty Bun Burgers, but pause before going inside. GearHead Garage is just down the street. Has Kian eaten yet?
Before I can second-guess myself, I go in, order two cheeseburger meals and chocolate shakes, then walk the block to the garage.
One of the bay doors is open, and my mouth waters as I catch sight of Kian in his dark blue coveralls. A smear of grease runs across his cheek, and I watch as he rolls a tire out of the way and wipes the sweat from his brow.
This is so not helping my crush on him, I think as I head his way.
He hears me approach and looks up, smiling when he sees me. “Hey, darling. What are you doing here?”
“Thought you might be hungry too, so I grabbed us both lunch.”
“Thanks. Come on, we can eat in here. It’s too cold for you to be walking around in this weather.”
Kian ushers me inside and into a back room where a table is set up. I sit in the chair he pulls out for me and slide one of the shakes toward him, followed by a burger and fries. We both dig in. I know I need to tell him about Blair thinking we’re dating, but I don’t know how to bring it up.
What if I start talking about it, and he can tell I like him and wish we were more than… whatever the hell we are? Will he pity me? Will it make everything weird?
My bite of burger turns to ash on my tongue, and my thoughts spiral.
“What’s wrong?” Kian asks, studying me across the table.
Just get it over with! I order myself.
“Blair saw me get out of your car this morning, and she thinks we’re dating,” I blurt in one breath.
Kian nods like this is completely expected.
I stare at him. “I was going to correct her, but I didn’t know what to say. I’m sorry. I’ll tell her we’re not dating and that we’re just friends.”
He shrugs. “It’s okay.”
“It is?” I ask in disbelief.
“Yeah.”
“But what about your girlfriend?”
“Girlfriend? What girlfriend?” he asks with a frown.
“I… I thought you had one.”
“I don’t. Never have. Never really saw the point in dating,” he says casually.
I feel like I’ve swallowed glass.
Oh, my god. Here I am fantasizing about a man who hasn’t given me a second thought. He’s not interested in me, not in that way, and he never will be. Is this what heartbreak feels like?
I look down at my chest, expecting to see blood or some kind of damage. My clothes are spotless. Everything is in order.
I suck in a shaky breath and force myself to finish my food even though my appetite is long gone.
“I should get back to work,” I say, the words coming out raspy.
“Let me drive you back.”
“No!” I say, panicked. “I mean, I like walking, and it’s sunny out. I’ll be fine.”
He studies me with a frown.
I force a smile as I gather my things. “I’ll see you.”
“Yeah. I’ll see you after work. You’d better be waiting for me.”
I nod and bolt out of there. I don’t look back as I speedwalk toward the bank. I don’t want him or anyone else to see how upset I am.
I’ve been lying to myself. I thought what I felt for Kian was a silly crush, but if his words can do this much damage, I need to admit the truth.
I’m in love with the grumpy mechanic.
“Shit.” I sob as I lean against the back door of the bank.
What the heck am I going to do now?