Chapter 8
EIGHT
Ledger
“Hey, man. Did you two make it back to base all right?” I ask when Koa answers the phone.
“Yeah, the flight was delayed, so we got in late. Slept in a bit.”
“That’s rare.”
“You know it.”
I sit on the couch, absently scratching Bean’s ears when he jumps up next to me.
“How are things there? Did you get everything figured out with your girl?” he asks.
“Kind of.”
“What does that mean?”
“We went out. We slept together. I told her this wasn’t casual.”
“Jesus, dude. You’re going to fuck this up.”
“I don’t want to freak her out by moving too fast!”
“You’re on a time crunch. You need to speed things up. Unless you want to come back here without telling her that you love her. Is that your plan? To leave her guessing?”
“No,” I snap. “I just… I need to find the right time.”
“It’s always the right time to say those three words.”
“Really,” I say sarcastically. “So, first date? Totally fine? Not too much at all?”
“Not when you know it’s right.”
“Yeah, you both need to know it’s right for that not to go terribly.”
“Sounds as if Daisy likes you. Stop being a little baby and go tell her.”
“Why did I call you?” I groan.
He snorts. “You know I’m right.”
We’re silent for a beat, and I take a deep breath before I ask him the question that has been gnawing at me.
“How do you and Lula manage being together and being so far away?”
“Trust and technology,” he says simply.
“You’re the worst.”
“It’s the truth!”
“I was looking for a little more wisdom than three words.”
“Fine, how’s this? We talk, text, FaceTime as much as we can.
We’re open and honest with each other. She trusts me, and I trust her.
We make plans to see each other, and we’re both willing to put in the work to make it happen.
Traveling so far for just a few days can suck, but we’re realistic about it, and it’s worth it to both of us to do the hard things if it means we get each other in the end. ”
I swallow hard, processing his words.
“I do what I can to make her life easier,” Koa continues.
“If that means paying some kid from town to cut her grass so she doesn’t have to, I do it.
I send flowers and little gifts to let her know I’m thinking about her and miss her.
I arrange spa days and little surprises to make up for the important events I can’t be there for. ”
Beans licks my hand, reminding me to pet him.
“And through it all, we came up with a plan. Together. She knows I’ll retire in a few years, and I’m going straight home to her. We decided together, and I check in all the time to make sure Lula is still okay with that plan.”
“Got it,” I say once he’s done.
“It’s just like a mission. You sit down and work out a plan together. You have contingencies and know how to pivot when things go sideways. Then you execute that plan.”
“I don’t want to leave her,” I admit.
Koa sighs. “I know, brother, I get it. I never want to leave Lula either.”
“Great, so it will never get easier.”
“Never,” he says honestly. “But it helps to know that it’s not forever. We’re so close to retirement. Just a few more years. It helps to have the end in sight.”
“Will you be mad at me if I get out after this last enlistment?”
“Hell no. You have to do what’s right for you and your girl, but in order to know what that is, you need to talk to your girl,” he stresses.
“I will, I will! Jeez.”
“Today, Ledge.”
“Yeah. Today.”
“Lula just got up. I’ve got to go, but I’ll talk to you later. Good luck.”
“Thanks.”
We hang up, and I sigh as I toss my phone aside. There are so many options, so many paths, and I’m stressing myself out wondering which is the right one.
Beans whines next to me, and I push to my feet.
“Come on, boy. Let’s go for a walk.”
He barks happily as I grab his leash and lock the front door behind me.
We walk out down the road toward a wooded area that seems to be Beans’s favorite. My mind drifts as I watch as he sniffs every tree and blade of grass.
When I think about the future, I know that Daisy is it. This is her home, and my sister and friend are both here, so this is where we’ll settle. I know all of that. What I don’t know is the timeline.
Should I get out early? Finish my time and get retirement?
The second option seems like the best one. I’m not sure what I would do in this small town with my skills to make money, but if I had my pension, that would help.
Can I wait that long, though? Can I go that long without seeing Daisy every day?
I think about all the possibilities as we walk, and by the time I get home, I’m still no closer to an answer.
I give Beans a treat, then realize that Daisy should be home soon. I need something to do with my hands, and since the house is spotless, I decide to get started on dinner.
I pull out ingredients and prep everything. I have the sauce almost ready when the front door opens and I tense.
This is it.
I take a deep breath, trying to remain calm as I turn to greet my girl.