Chapter 28 #3
"Your friends are about as subtle as a pride parade in a church." They wave towards where Tyler and Gavin are having an extremely loud conversation about my "excellent qualities" within James's earshot. "Is that your best strategy?"
"Not my strategy. They're… trying to help. I think."
"Have you tried, I don't know, actually talking to him instead of this whole Hallmark movie routine?"
They make me laugh. I like this kid. "I'm working up to it."
"This is stupid. He clearly likes you, and you like him. Why drag it out? Life's too short."
The simple truth in their words hits me harder, especially coming from someone so young. "It's complicated."
"Adults always say that when they're making something harder than it needs to be." Alex pulls out a candy bar, halving it and offering me a piece. "What's so complicated? You messed up, right?"
"Yeah."
"And you're sorry?"
"Extremely."
"And you want him back?"
"More than anything."
"So tell him that. No games, no helpers, no contractors. You, being honest." They shrug. "That's what I'd want."
"How old are you?" I’m curious where this level of relationship smarts came from.
"Sixteen. But I've had more relationship drama than a CW show." Alex squints toward where James is working alone, meticulously sanding a window frame. "He looks at you when you're not looking. Trust me, I know pining when I see it."
Hope blooms. "You think?"
"Doesn't mean he'll make it easy for you." They stand, stretching. "But yeah. You've got a shot."
I'm still smiling when they walk away, but it fades as I overhear a conversation from around the corner of the porch.
"...don't rightly know how it's different," Ian says in his distinctive drawl. "That's why I'm asking you, James. How do gay relationships differ from straight ones?"
There's a pause, and I hold my breath.
"I've only been in the one," James' voice sounds… sad, "and it seems to be about the same... they end badly." The words hit me like a physical blow. I must make some sound, because Gavin appears at my side, a steadying hand on my shoulder.
"He doesn't know you're here," Gavin whispers. "He’s hurting."
I nod but can’t think of anything to say.
"Seems to me," Ian's voice drifts around the corner, "that all relationships have rough patches. Gay, straight, whatever."
"This wasn't a rough patch," James says flatly. "He didn't trust me. End of story."
"Have you never made a mistake? Never trusted the wrong person?
" Ian's voice is surprisingly gentle. "My granddaddy always said a fence mended is stronger than one never broke.
Same goes for hearts, I reckon. Everyone makes mistakes.
If someone apologizes sincerely, and you're miserable without them.
.. maybe a second chance isn't the worst idea. "
"I never said I was miserable," James mutters.
"Darlin', you haven't said much of anything. But your face says plenty."
James mutters something unintelligible and walks away. Gavin squeezes my shoulder as Ian rounds the corner, looking apologetic when he spots me.
"Well, that didn't go as planned," Ian sighs.
"Nothing today has," My frustration bubbles over. "I appreciate what you guys are trying to do, but it's making things worse."
Gavin and Ian exchange glances.
"So what's your next move?" Gavin asks.
Despite everything, my mouth quirks into a slight smirk. "Like I'd tell any of you after everything you've pulled today. Just… I'm not done yet."
"So your plan to win him back is for us to... do nothing?" Gavin looks confused.
"Exactly. Your help is making things worse. I need to do this my way."
"Well, butter my biscuit," Ian says, grinning. “The boy's growing up." He sobers slightly. "Don't wait too long. James acts tough, but he's hurting... bad."
"Trust me, I know."
For the rest of the afternoon, I focus on actually helping, not on James-watching. I find myself working with Alex and some of the younger teens, fixing a set of shelves that have come loose from the wall. It's good to do something concrete that matters, regardless of my romantic situation.
"You're not terrible at this," Alex comments as I secure the last bracket.
"High praise."
"For me? Yeah, it is." They test the shelf with their hand. "Most people who come here to volunteer want something. To feel good about themselves, to put it on a resume, or impress someone." They shoot me a pointed look. "But you're trying to help."
"The shelves were loose. I know how to fix that now that Jaren is my roommate."
"Not the shelves. The contractor and the supplies. That was you, right?"
Their question hangs in the air. Finally, I nod.
"Thought so. James wouldn't stop asking Marcus who sent them, and Marcus kept being all mysterious." They grin. "It's kind of cool. Much better than those lame stunts your friends were pulling."
Mid-sentence about the new rainbow LED lights being put up in the common room, Alex whispers, "Three o'clock. Don't be obvious."
It's hard to glance over casually, but I manage, and then I see it. James is looking at me, an unreadable expression on his face. He quickly turns away when our eyes meet.
As we're packing up for the day, Marcus approaches me.
"The kids appreciated you working with them," he says simply. "You're good with them."
"They're good kids."
He nods, studying me. "James doesn't let people in easily. He has his reasons."
"I know. I messed up."
"Yes, you did." His voice isn't unkind, just matter-of-fact. "But he's miserable without you, even if he won't admit it."
Before I can say anything back, he walks away, and I think I know what I need to do now.
On my way to the car, I take out my phone and type out a text, not to James, but to my father:
We need to talk. In person. Will you be in town for the Coastal Conservation Gala on the 15th?
My heart races as I hit send, but there's no going back now. If I want another shot with James, I need to break free from my father's control. Starting with a talk that's way overdue.