Chapter 26
HOLIDAY
The drive to Lucas’s house feels like the longest ten minutes of my life.
My hand is in his, resting on the console between us. His thumb traces slow circles on my palm and every touch sends electricity up my arm. The radio is playing soft Christmas music, but I barely hear it over the sound of my own heartbeat.
Fifteen years of wondering what it would be like to be with him again. Fifteen years of missing him. Fifteen years of trying to convince myself I’d moved on when I never really had.
And now I’m in his truck on the way to his house, and in a few minutes, he’s going to touch me the way I’ve been dreaming about since I left Merryville.
He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. We turn onto his long driveway and my breath catches. I’ve been to his house before over the past few weeks but this is different.
He parks the truck and kills the engine but neither of us moves.
“We don’t have to rush anything.”
I turn to face him. “Whatever happens, happens.”
The look he gives me is so full of heat and want that I feel it in my bones. It’s the same words I said to him the first time we fooled around. I’ll never forget the way he kissed me like I belonged to him. It was the same way he kissed me tonight.
Lucas gets out and comes around to open my door. I take his hand and he helps me down. A chill rushes over me as our eyes meet.
We walk up the steps to his porch, and his face glows in the Christmas lights he must’ve put up. “I thought you were going to be a scrooge.”
“I did, too. Jake and Hudson helped me,” he says.
When we’re inside, he doesn’t turn on the lights. Moonlight streams through the windows, casting everything in silver. His house is warm and smells like him. It’s a mixture of pine, wood smoke, and leather gloves. The door closes behind us, and suddenly, we’re alone in the darkness.
“Holiday,” he says, my name like a prayer. “The past five days—”
I don’t let him finish whatever he was going to say. I step forward and kiss him, pouring fifteen years of want into it. He makes a sound low in his throat, and his hands slide into my hair.
We stumble through the entryway, kissing and touching and trying to get closer. He backs me against the wall, and I gasp as his body presses against mine. I can feel how much he wants me and it makes me ache from the inside out.
He keeps kissing me like he can’t stop. Finally, he pulls back enough to take my hand, and then he lifts me into his arms and carries me up the stairs.
“And you say I’m dramatic,” I tell him, kissing his neck as he pushes open the door to his room.
His bed is made, and the lights outside on the top eave make the inside of his room glow.
For a moment, we just look at each other. His green eyes are full of want. His hair is messed up from my fingers. Lucas is so beautiful, it leaves me speechless.
“I’ve dreamed about this,” he says.
“Me too. I didn’t know if we’d still have anything left. Years have passed, but…”
“Somehow, it still feels like yesterday.” He steps closer and cups my face in his hands. “I want to take my time with you. I want to make you feel good. I want—” His voice catches. “I want you to know how much I missed you.”
Tears prick at my eyes. “I couldn’t stop thinking about what might’ve been.”
His thumbs brush across my cheekbones.
“I never stopped loving you,” I whisper. “Even when I should have. There was always this secret compartment in my heart that was just yours.”
He kisses me and it’s full of everything we haven’t said.
“I have loved you since we were kids. I loved you when I tried to move on and couldn’t. No one can ever replace you, Holiday. You’re it for me and I know that. I’ve known that from the moment we walked down the aisle together at Tricia’s wedding,” he says.
A smile touches my lips as I loosen his tie. “I promised you I would always love you. And I know you thought I broke that promise, but I didn’t. I know you thought I wouldn’t come back like I promised, but here I am.”
“Here you are.” He smiles, moving some hair out of my face.
“If I could go back in time,” I whisper.
“All that matters is you’re here now,” he says against my lips.
His hands find the zipper of my dress—the same zipper he started to undo in the carriage.
This time, there’s no Hudson to interrupt us.
This time, we can finish what we started.
I pull it down and the dress slides off my shoulders and pools at my feet, leaving me in just the burgundy lace bra and matching underwear.
Lucas steps back to look at me and the expression on his face makes me feel beautiful and seen in a way I haven’t felt in years.
“You’re perfect,” he says.
“I’m not.”
“Pure artwork.” He reaches out and traces his finger along the edge of my bra. “And mine.”
I reach for his shirt and start unbuttoning it with shaking fingers. He helps me, shrugging it off and letting it fall to the floor. Then his hands go to his belt, and I watch as he undresses, revealing the body I used to know so well.
He’s different now. Older. More muscled from years of working on the farm. There are new scars I don’t recognize and tattoos up his arm and across his chest. But he’s still Lucas. Still exactly what I want.
He walks me backward until my legs touch the bed, and then we’re falling onto the mattress together.
The sheets are cool against my back, but Lucas is warm above me.
His mouth is on my neck, sucking and kissing across my collarbone, and between my breasts.
His hands slide behind my back, and he unhooks my bra.
When he removes it, I suddenly feel vulnerable.
Lucas looks at me like I’m a masterpiece.
“Beautiful,” he whispers, his mouth finding my breast. “So fucking beautiful.”
His hands are everywhere, touching and worshipping every inch of me. Like he’s remembering every place that makes me gasp or arch or moan.
When his hand slides between my legs, I nearly come apart.
“Lucas, please don’t tease me.” I breathe.
“I won’t, Peaches. I’ve got you.”
He hooks his fingers in my lace panties and slides them down my legs. Then his mouth is settling between my thighs. The first touch of his tongue on my clit makes me cry out.
“So wet,” he whispers as he kisses and sucks. Lucas unravels me slowly, devouring me until I’m shaking with anticipation.
“I’m so close.” I gasp, surprised by how quickly he worked me up. “Lucas, please.”
“Tell me what you need.”
“Make me come.”
He moves back up my body, kissing as he goes. I reach between us and slide my hand into his boxers, wrapping my fingers around him. He’s hard and hot, and I want him inside me so badly, I can barely think.
He groans and buries his face in my neck. “You’re so fucking pretty.”
“You’re teasing me,” I say, running my fingers through his hair.
“Just a little,” he mutters against my lips before moving back down my body. Seconds later, he’s taking my clit into his mouth. He sucks and flicks until the orgasm rips through me. I’m groaning out his name, my cunt clenching so damn hard as he slides a finger inside me.
“Feels so good,” I whisper, never having been worked so fucking good.
He places his finger into his mouth, not wasting a drop.
The orgasm nearly takes me under as he reaches for his nightstand and pulls out a condom.
I watch as he rolls it on. He settles between my legs and the first inch of him inside me makes us both freeze.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yes. Don’t stop.”
He pushes inside slowly and I feel myself stretch to fit him. This is how it always was with us; we have to take it slow. It’s been so long and he’s much bigger than I remember.
For a second, it’s almost too much, and he reads me, waiting for me to relax before continuing. My back arches, and I try to steady my breathing until he’s fully inside me. With Lucas buried deep inside, everything in the world seems right again.
“You feel like home,” I whisper.
“Fuck, you do, too, sweetheart. You were made for me. Feel how good we fit together?” he asks against my neck. Then he slowly moves as our tongues twist together. I can taste myself on his mouth.
As he thrusts into me, I swear I see stars. This connection. This intimacy. This feeling of being completely seen and wanted and cherished. The sensation is almost too much.
“Holiday,” Lucas says, and I open my eyes to find him staring down at me with so much adoration it takes my breath away. “Stay with me tonight.”
“I want to.”
We move together, and his rhythm matches mine perfectly. Every thrust sends pleasure spiraling through me. Every kiss tastes like home.
The orgasm builds and builds until I’m right on the edge. Lucas keeps a slow pace, but thrusts into me deeper, exactly where I need him, and suddenly, I’m falling apart in his arms for the second time tonight.
I cry out his name as I come, my body convulsing around him. He follows seconds later, burying his face in my neck and groaning my name as he shudders above me.
For a long moment, we just lie there, breathing hard, hearts pounding against each other.
I curl into his chest and hold him, letting out a sigh of relief. I spent too long missing him and denying myself. I tried to be someone I wasn’t, and I didn’t like who I became.
“I never forgot you,” he whispers, stroking my hair.
“I never forgot you, either.” I press my face into his chest, smiling. “You were my best kept secret.”
Lucas pulls out of me and slides on some joggers.
“I’ll be right back,” he says, running down the stairs.
I lie back in his bed and smile as I’m tangled in his sheets. I hear drawers clattering and a microwave going off. A minute later, Lucas is rushing into the bedroom with two bowls. He hands me one with a spoon. “You have to try our cookie bar with Blue Bell ice cream on top.”
“You baked this?” I ask.
He smirks. “Yeah. I brought it to Thanksgiving dinner. It was a huge hit again. But I made us some, too.”
“Well, let me try it,” I say, dipping my spoon into the ice cream and cookie bar.
“Wow. That’s really good,” I say.
“Right. I think we should serve it with ice cream.”
“We’d need to make the ice cream ourselves, but we’d have plenty of time. I have a recipe for vanilla bean that’s close to this.” I grin. “You did incredible. And you say I’m the perfectionist. Look at this cookie.”
“I was taught by the best in the industry,” he says.
We finish eating our dessert, then I lie back in his arms.
I take a shaky breath. “I feel like I’ve been lost for years, and I finally found my way back.”
His arms tighten around me. “You were. I’m just so damn glad you woke up.”
“I became this person I didn’t recognize. I did things I didn’t want to do. I gave up pieces of myself until I didn’t know who I was anymore.” I pull back enough to look at him. “But with you, I feel like me again. Like the me I was supposed to be.”
“I’ll always remind you of who you are,” he says fiercely. “He may have tried to change you, but he couldn’t. You’re still you, Holiday.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“For what?”
“For helping me heal.”
“Always.” He tilts my chin up and kisses me. “I will always help you.”
We lie there in the darkness, wrapped around each other, and I feel pieces of myself clicking back into place. Pieces of me that were taken. I thought they were gone forever.
My heart stutters. I search his face and see only sincerity. Only love.
“What are we?” I kiss him, and he pulls me up into his arms.
“I don’t know,” Lucas answers truthfully. “I don’t want to rush things.”
“I don’t, either.”
Our kisses grow more heated. We can figure out the logistics later. Right now, I just want to be here with him.
We make love again, slower this time. He takes his time exploring every inch of me, relearning my body. By the time we both come apart again, I can barely remember my name.
Afterward, we lie tangled together. My head is on his chest, and I can hear his heartbeat slowing to normal. His fingers trace lazy patterns on my back.
“I could get used to this,” I say.
“Good. Because I’m planning on forever.”
I smile against his chest. “Forever’s a long time.”
“Still somehow not long enough.”
I’m drifting off to sleep when my phone buzzes from somewhere on the floor. I ignore it.
It buzzes again.
“You should check that,” Lucas says.
“I don’t want to move.”
“It might be important.”
Sighing, I untangle myself from him and find my dress. I pull out my phone from my pocket, and my stomach drops when I see the notifications.
Three texts from Dominic.
Dominic
We need to talk.
Dominic
I still love you.
Dominic
I’m staying at the Merryville Inn. Come see me tomorrow. We have things to discuss.
I stare at the messages and feel the happiness from tonight drain away.
“What is it?” Lucas asks, sitting up.
I show him the texts. His jaw tightens as he reads them.
“Don’t go,” he says.
“Okay, but he’ll find me. He’s relentless,” I explain.
“I don’t like this.” Lucas takes the phone from my hands and sets it on the nightstand. “You don’t owe him anything.”
“He won’t give up.”
“He will because I’m not letting you out of my sight.” Lucas pulls me back into his arms. “I won’t let him hurt you again.”
“What did I do to deserve you?” I ask.
“I ask myself the same thing.”
I drift to sleep in his arms, feeling safer than I have in years.
Tomorrow, we can deal with reality. Tonight is ours.