Chapter 36
HOLIDAY
Aweek has passed since we won the competition.
For seven days, Lucas has pretended everything’s fine when I can see the worry painted in his green eyes.
It feels like forced normalcy as we continue our routine.
We’ve prepped dough in the afternoons, had dinner with our families, and I’ve slept in his bed while he holds me like I’ll vanish.
Lucas has been so damn supportive. It just breaks my heart that he thinks there is any choice other than him.
The day after the contest, he asked me to take the remaining nine days to consider my decision.
It was important to him that I didn’t rush into it, and he made me promise to think about what I want.
Lucas has always been concerned about me regretting my choices.
And I get it. I would never want to hold him back from true happiness, either.
The opportunity I’ve been offered is huge. It deserves serious consideration, so I get his concern. This one decision could change the trajectory of my entire career.
Lucas and I haven’t talked about it recently.
He doesn’t want to influence my decision to stay or to go and is leaving it solely up to me.
Yesterday at the bakery, he opened his mouth like he was going to ask, then closed it and turned away to measure flour.
Even when I begged him to tell me what he was going to say, he made a joke and said he forgot.
I know better, though. We grew up together, and I can read him like a book. He knows that.
My reflection stares back at me from the bathroom mirror. I’m wearing a red sweater, dark jeans, and my hair is down in loose waves, exactly how he likes it. I hear Lucas’s boots on the hardwood floor as he gets dressed in his bedroom.
Tonight is the Winter Solstice celebration at the town festival.
It’s one of the biggest Christmas events that Merryville throws.
There will be a tree lighting ceremony, a bonfire, carnival rides, and so much more.
It’s a time when the whole town comes together to celebrate the magic of Merryville.
Myth has it that once people come here, they never want to leave.
I used to believe it was an old wives’ tale until I left. My heart brought me back here. It’s the only place that’s ever felt like home.
“You ready?” Lucas appears in the doorway, wearing a dark green sweater that makes his eyes look like the same shade as an evergreen.
“Yeah.” I give him a smile, admiring how handsome he is. “Just need to grab my coat.”
I walk past him, trailing my fingers across his abs, feeling his muscles flex as I pass. Touching him, just because I can, is one of my favorite things. For so long, I felt like I was in prison, forced to keep my hands to myself. Now, I take every opportunity I can get. So does he.
Lucas watches me pull my jacket on, and he looks at me like he’s trying to memorize this moment. Like we’re running out of time.
We’re not.
The drive to the fairgrounds takes fifteen minutes. One of his hands stays on the wheel while the other holds mine. Christmas music plays low on the radio, filling the silence, but neither of us sings along.
“You okay?” I ask.
“I’m better than okay, Peaches.” Lucas squeezes my hand and kisses my knuckles. “Let’s have fun tonight.”
When we pull into the parking lot, I can see how packed it already is.
We get out, and in the distance, the bonfire blazes against the night sky.
It’s massive. Christmas lights are strung everywhere, wrapped around trees, outlining buildings, and draped between lampposts.
The Ferris wheel towers above it all, and it’s lit up like a rainbow.
“Wow,” I breathe out, closing my eyes. I feel like I’m being transported back in time. Lucas and I always went to the festival together. As we’d walk around, our fingers would lightly brush together, but even when we barely touched, I’d get warm fuzzies.
We walk toward the entrance, and I hook my finger with his. He turns and smiles at me, and I can’t help but smile back. In the distance, I can hear a mixture of different songs, kids screaming on rides, and laughter. Then I smell the funnel cakes and wood smoke from the bonfire.
“I’ve always wanted this,” I tell him, and he interlocks his fingers with mine, pulling me closer.
“Me too,” he says, stealing a quick kiss.
“Holiday! Lucas!” Claire waves at us by the ticket booth while juggling hot chocolates. Jake is trying to keep Colby from running off as he stands in line at the ticket booth. “You made it!” she says to us as we move closer.
“Colby,” Jake says, grabbing his shirt. Colby’s face is blue from the cotton candy he must’ve already devoured.
“Aunt Holiday,” he says, reaching toward me. Jake lets him go, and he rushes me, giving me a hug.
“Bee!” I bend down and give him a high five. The last time he came to the bakery, he told me to call him by his nickname.
He runs his hand down my hair. “Your hair looks so pretty today.”
“Leave my woman alone,” Lucas says to him.
Colby balls up his little fist. “No, she’s not.”
I chuckle at him. “Yes, actually. I’m dating your uncle Lucas.”
“Oh.” He looks between us. “Are you going to have babies? So Evan and Ella can have more friends?”
“Uh,” I say, watching him. “Not any time soon. Ask Jake and Claire to bring you cousins first.”
“Yes!” he says. “I’m going to be the oldest, too. Just like my daddy!”
Jake walks over with a ton of tickets and takes one of the hot chocolates from Claire.
She hands Colby one. They’ve been spoiling him rotten since the twins were born so he doesn’t feel left out.
Plus, Emma and Hudson have their hands full at the moment, taking care of two newborns. He’s a fun kid and is always happy.
“How are you?” Claire asks as Jake and Lucas entertain Colby.
“I’m doing great,” I tell her with a smile.
Claire doesn’t look convinced, but she also doesn’t push.
We walk through the festival grounds, past the winter wonderland and elf village, over to the bonfire.
The flames reach toward the sky, and sparks float upward to the stars.
A huge crowd is gathered around, with most sitting on logs.
Among tourists and townsfolk, I find my family and the Jollys sprinkled throughout.
Everyone wants to talk about the competition and what’s next for us. Each question feels loaded, like they’re really asking about our entire future. It’s added pressure we don’t need.
“Dad, please. We’re enjoying the moment,” I say.
Lucas grabs my hand and lightly brushes his thumb against mine. “We’ll see everyone later,” he says, waving goodbye to our families.
Seconds later, he’s leading me over to where the band is playing some slow country music.
“Wanted to be alone with you,” he says, pulling me close.
I wrap my arms around his neck, and we sway slowly to the music. His hands rest on my waist, then slide lower to my hips, pulling me against him. There’s no space between us now. I can feel the heat of his body through our clothes, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against my chest.
“I love this,” I whisper against his neck, breathing him in.
“Me too.” His voice is strained. One hand moves up to tangle in my hair.
He’s not looking at me like we have forever, but more like he’s preparing to let me go.
His green eyes seem darker than usual under these dim lights, and they’re filled with something I can’t explain. I have to tell him right now. No more of this uncertainty.
“Lucas—”
He kisses me before I can finish. Not gentle or sweet, but desperate, like he’s claiming me for the entire world to see.
His hand tightens in my hair, and I press closer, opening for him.
The music fades away. The crowd around us disappears.
There’s only this—his mouth on mine and his hands gripping me like I’m the only thing keeping his feet on the ground.
When we break apart, we’re both breathing hard. His forehead rests against mine, and his eyes are closed.
“Get out of your head,” he whispers, his lips curving into a small smile. “I can tell you’re thinking.”
I let out a surprised laugh against his mouth. “Is that so?”
“Mm-hmm.” His hands slide down to my hips again, pulling me closer as we sway. “Also, I’m positive you looking this damn pretty should be criminal.”
“Lucas Jolly, are you saying I’m torturing you?”
“Absolutely. You always have.” His eyes are full of that familiar mischief I’m used to.
Laughter bursts out of me. “Hush.”
“Make me,” he says, and something about the way he says it makes my heart do a little flip.
This. This is what I’ve been missing for fifteen years. No one else can make me laugh, even when emotions are running high. Only his touch sends electricity through my entire body.
“Well,” I say, trailing my fingers down his neck, “maybe I will.”
I press up on my toes and kiss him again, slower this time. His hands tighten on my hips, and he makes that sound in the back of his throat that drives me wild.
“You’re killing me.” He breathes against my lips when we break apart.
“It’s mutual.”
He spins me, pulling my back against his chest as we continue dancing. His arms wrap around my waist, and his lips find that spot just below my ear that makes me shiver.
“Do you have any idea what I want to do to you right now?” he asks, but there’s amusement in his voice because he knows I do.
He turns me back around to face him.
“Yes,” I say, meeting his eyes.
His brow pops up. “Ferris wheel?”
I nod and bite my lower lip.
We sway like this for a moment, and I tilt my head back to look up at the stars.
This is home. Not a place or a building or a city. This feeling right here.
“What are you thinking?” Lucas asks.
“That I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”
When he speaks again, his voice has a vulnerable edge to it. “Yes, you are.”
The song ends, but we stay planted.
“Dance with me a little longer,” I say, rubbing my hand across his scruff. “We can talk on the Ferris wheel.”