Chapter Twenty-Eight
All I want for Christmas is my perfect plan
Ivy
What if I dream about you more?
My knees buckle. Beau...
We made a deal, Ivy. No going back on it now. You promised if you fell in love with me, you d scrap your perfect plan.
I hear the dogs bark from the backyard. A neighbor drives by and toots his horn while he rolls down the window to yell, Merry Christmas.
I wave back without taking my eyes off Beau. The last thing I want is for you to give up your dream and regret it.
Do you love me?
We hardly know each other.
We re standing outside of my parents house in matching pajama pants after sleeping glued together on the couch all night. Also pretty sure you caught a glimpse of my bare tush back in September that one time I was walking to the bathroom. We re not exactly strangers here, Ivy. Do you love me?
I m not going to address the bare tush comment. My face is already flushing hot enough to melt the snow. You ll eventually resent me for making you give up your dream.
You re not making me give up anything. Didn t you hear what I said?
You are my dream. I want you. I want a family with you.
I want us to have enough kids to fill up the entire back seat so we can go on summer vacations where we drive for hours and get all hot and sweaty and crabby with each other inside our little car until we find a dumpy hotel where nothing works right.
That s not what you want. That s not what anybody wants.
I want to be the man that you want, Ivy.
He is. He already is the man that I want. I don t know what s holding me back. Other than this isn t the plan. And Beau could change his mind. He could go back to baseball. He could break my heart.
How many times did I hear my dad promise my mom that this was his last season? How many times did I hear my mom promise to cut back on her hours? The whole reason I came up with the plan was to avoid repeating my parents mistakes.
I just can t do it, Beau. I m sorry.
I drop my shovel and hurry inside the house. I should leave. It s only going to get harder the longer I stay. Lucy won t mind if I arrive a day early.
I ve just gotten my wet snowy boots off when Cecilia rushes down the stairs with my phone. Hey honey, this has been ringing nonstop. When I saw it was your mom I thought you might want to answer. I m sure she s wanting to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Thanks. I take the phone, which is still ringing, from her and answer. Hello?
My mom s typically not one to wish anyone a cheery holiday greeting, so I m not surprised when she jumps straight to Where are you? I ve been trying to reach you all night. Your father says you re in Iowa. Are you still there?
Yeah, I m still here.
I hear a sigh that sounds close to relief. Good. Jordan is too.
My brother s in Iowa?
He messaged me late last night. I don t know all the details, just that he s at a hospital in Iowa City. Some sort of accident. He said he s having surgery. How soon can you get there?