17. Billy
SEVENTEEN
Billy
THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF FISCHER
I’m driving as fast as I can down the highway to Donna’s house, and I was halfway there before I remembered that I know a guy with a helicopter and that guy is me.
I had stopped at the apartment, thinking I’d find her there passing out candy and we could have a nice quiet chat about how she owns my heart and she can have it forever if she’s in the mood for that. Instead I found her friend Chelsea there alone, telling me Donna was acting strange and rushed off, saying she had something important to take care of. I asked if it was for work. But Chelsea works with Donna, so she knew it wasn’t that.
Which means the important thing that Donna had to take care of was not a person who is alive or dying. It involves someone who has long since passed, in a house that is not safe, even though I told her not to go back there. God forbid she should just listen to me! But whatever help she needs from me, I’m going to give it to her.
The closer I get to Middleborough, though, the worse the weather gets. The rain’s coming down in billowing sheets, and I can barely see the road. So it’s a toss-up at this point if it would have been faster or safer in a chopper. I just know that any amount of time it takes me to get to Donna is too fucking long.
My hands are sore from gripping the wheel by the time I arrive, and the wind is picking up. All the windows on the first and second floors are lit up, but the lights are flickering ominously. I know I have an adrenaline rush right now, but I swear it looks like there’s some kind of eerie purple glow around the house. Like it’s the house itself that’s manifesting this storm.
But that’s not possible.
Rushing up to the front porch, I burst through the doors. “Donna!” I call out over the calamity of wind and rain and thunder. No answer. At least not one that I can hear. I remove my robe and drop it to the floor so I can run faster. “Donna!”
I find her in the sunroom, on her hands and knees. The room is dimly lit by a flickering lamp. A flash of lightning illuminates her. “Donna—are you hurt?” I bend down to help her up.
She slowly rises up off the floor. “Billy?” She sounds so confused. “What are you doing here?”
Another flash of lightning and I can see her stressed-out-but-still-beautiful face more clearly. “I went back to help you. With the candy. But you were gone.”
I’m about to continue, to tell her what I need to tell her, but she grips my arm and frantically explains, “I have to find the letter that Lara wrote to Lars! There’s something she needed to tell him! We just need to find it! Then she’ll be at peace. I know you don’t believe me, but will you?—”
“Anything you need, babe,” I say. “Just tell me where to look.”
We both jump at the clap of thunder. And then there’s a friggin’ tsunami of blood that crashes against the windows. Blood?! What the fuck?!
Donna screams and buries her face in my chest.
“Baby, it’s okay—it’s just the cranberries.” I have no fucking clue how it can be so windy that the cranberries are being blown out of the fucking bog that’s, like, fifty fucking yards away, but this is happening.
“It’s her! I don’t know how, but it feels like she’s angry and she’s not going to stop until we find the letter!”
“I know, baby. I feel it too.”
She looks up at me, so relieved. “You don’t think I’m nuts? ”
“I didn’t say that, Red.” I grin.
That makes her laugh, which makes me feel relieved.
The adrenaline easing up a little, I get a good look at her. All of her.
“Whoa. Hold up.”
“What?” She seems worried by the way I’m eyeing her, like I’m going to tell her she’s covered in blood or something.
“Are you wearin’ a sexy Ginny Weasley costume?!”
She starts to roll her eyes at me, but then she notices what I’m wearing. “Are you sexy Harry Potter?!”
I give her a wink. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” But it’s a short-lived break from the chaos. Now the shutters are banging against the siding all around the house. “We gotta get movin’.”
“I remember Lars saying the letter might have gotten mixed up with things that were put in storage. I’ve looked everywhere, even the garage. Everywhere except…” She looks up through the skylight, toward the darkened top floor. “The attic.”
Right on cue, there’s thunder and lightning.
I grab her hand. “Come on.”
We jog out to the front hall and up the stairwell. The lights are still flickering. The pipes are rattling inside the walls like the last time we were here. The walls are shaking and framed paintings fall to the floor. Donna pulls me toward the end of the hall. I tug on a chain to unlatch the panel to the attic hatch and then grab the pull-down ladder. I am a gentleman, so I let Donna go up first, hanging behind her in case she falls. The house seems to be collapsing around us, but I still have the wherewithal to check out her magnificent booty under that miniskirt. The knee-high socks and patent leather shoes are really a nice touch.
When we reach the attic, it’s incredibly dark and the air is thick. It’s like wading through a sea of angry black ink. The only light is from the flashes of lightning through the dormer windows to one side. I have no sense of how big the space is, but we can both stand up without ducking our heads.
I take out my cell phone and turn on the flashlight. With that I’m able to find a single bulb hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the unfinished room and tug on a string to switch it on. The attic is now illuminated with a soft yellow glow. Donna and I glance around the space. It’s big. Impossibly cavernous. There are tons of wooden crates and a few dusty metal boxes and trunks.
“You start with that trunk and I start with this one?” Donna says, pointing.
“Sounds good.”
I start searching through a big trunk and so does she.
“So…how was the party?” she asks out of nowhere as she frantically rifles through things. Sounding casual, but there’s something underneath it.
“Aw, it was a bust. Not really my scene.”
Donna stops searching for a moment and looks over at me. “Since when?”
I shrug. I could tell her now, but I don’t want to ask for forever when it feels like the world is ending. “I dunno.” There’s a cannon blast of thunder that’s so powerful, the whole house shakes. I pretend I didn’t hear or feel anything. “Why, did ya miss me?”
She shrugs. “Y’know. Chelsea is great company. But you’re…”
“I’m what?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t know.”
The thunder cracks again, and the panel in the floor below slams shut. I don’t even know how that’s possible since you’d have to use a pole with a hook at the end to pull the folding ladder up.
“Shit,” I mutter and walk over to it. “The door’s stuck! I can’t open it.”
“What?”
The light bulb begins to flicker, and the house shakes from more thunder.
“Billy…” Donna moans. “I have a really bad feeling about this.”
“It’s okay, baby. We’ll figure it out.”
There’s a huge roar of thunder. Donna shrieks and crashes into me. I grab hold of her. She’s shaking so hard. That’s when I realize how fucking cold it is in here.
Then all of a sudden a small wooden box tumbles off the top of a stack of crates and its contents spill out.
Papers fly everywhere, but a single envelope drops to the floor, separate from the rest.
Donna and I stare at each other, wide-eyed.
“Do you think…” I ask but don’t finish.
Donna nods, leaves the safety of my arms, and goes to pick up the letter. “This is it. It says For my darling Lars !” She peers around like she’s expecting something to happen now that she’s found it, but if anything the storm only grows more furious outside.
“Read it out loud,” I tell her.
As if in support of what I just said, the light bulb stops flickering so she can.
She goes to stand under the light, opens the letter, and clears her throat.
“‘Lars, my love. There is so very much I want to say to you, and even if I had the strength to speak, there isn’t enough time to say it. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, and I was so sure we would fill this house with love and laughter and children and grow old together. You know how much I hate to be wrong, but I hate being wrong about this the most.
I was so foolish.
It was only two years ago that I met you, but I think of that girl you met as such a silly young thing. The fears I had. So scared of leaving the life I’d known, so frightened of giving my heart to you completely. I don’t regret one minute that I spent with you, but I wish I had said yes immediately. I wish I had only ever said yes to you and rushed into your arms and never let go.
I hope you forgive me for making you wait.
I’ll never forgive myself.
I miss you already, my love, and I’m so sorry for making you this sad. It’s the opposite of what I want for you. It’s the last thing I ever wanted for us.
But I still want this house to be filled with love and laughter and children, Lars.
I know it will be difficult for you and I don’t want to let you go, but please promise me.
One day, promise me you’ll find a good woman and fill this house with love and laughter and children.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I loved you when my heart was strong, and I’ll love you until after it beats the final time.
Thank you for loving me.
Forever your scarlet spitfire,
Lara.’”
Donna is weeping when she puts down the letter. She folds the paper up and slides it inside her bra for safekeeping. I take her into my arms again, rub her back, give her time. When she sniffles and wipes her eyes and looks up at me, I can practically see the words she wants to say to me on her quivering lips. I can absolutely feel them waiting to come out of mine.
But we just stare at each other and don’t say anything. The light buzzes and then pops and the room goes dark. I’m starting to think the ghost or the house or whatever isn’t happy with us , specifically… The house shakes. I hear groaning and the cracking of wood.
“Donna, get down!” I yell and pull her away from the sound, in the direction of the dormer windows. Just as we fall to the ground, a giant fucking tree crashes through the roof. I cover Donna’s body with mine, shielding her from the debris.
When things finally stop crashing down around us, Donna cries out from under me. “Billy!”
“I’m fine! We have to get out of here!”
I stand up, coughing, and pull her up. I manage to open one of the windows. “We gotta climb out onto the roof—come on,” I yell through the rain that is now pouring into the attic. I climb out first and then grab hold of Donna’s hand and guide her out.
We steady ourselves, standing on the undamaged part of the roof. Both getting pelted by raindrops, looking around, my hand locked with hers. I’m not going to let her fall. But I don’t think there’s any way for us to get off this roof unless I call the fire department.
“How are we supposed to get down?” she asks.
I look around for a way out. There is none. And then it hits me. “Well, Donna…sometimes the only way down is through…”
She looks at me like I’m nuts. “Huh?!”
I carefully turn to face her and hold on to her shoulders. “What did the mirror say?”
Donna looks so confused. “Tell him.”
“I don’t think it was Lars you were supposed to tell. He already knew how much Lara loved him.”
It’s like the whole rooftop is lit up by Donna’s bright eyes when it dawns on her what I’m talking about.
We both say at the same time, “I love you!”
She grabs my face. “I love you so much, Billy!”
“I love you so friggin’ much, Donna Fischer. I’m so crazy in love with you, and I don’t want anyone else. Just you. Only ever you. I’ve never been afraid of anything before, but I was so scared of scarin’ you away. I’ll do anything for you, and I want all the strings.”
“Me too! I’m still scared, but I’m not afraid to tell you I love you anymore, because you deserve to know how happy you make me. I love you so much I’m willing to face the pain of losing you someday.”
“Aw, you’re never gonna lose me, baby. Not evah. Now that I know I can haunt you from beyond the grave.”
I kiss her.
It’s the first kiss in a series of infinite kisses I’ll be giving this woman over the course of our life and beyond.
We’re standing on a roof in the middle of a storm, but I feel so solid about everything, nothing can ever knock me down again.
When our lips finally part, we realize the storm has suddenly lifted. And by that I mean it’s like it never happened. Aside from the whole uprooted tree in the roof thing. The rain and the clouds have vanished, there’s no wind, the moon is shining bright, and the pale silver light makes everything look totally magical and serene. “I love magic,” I say quietly, in an admittedly not great Harry Potter impression.
Donna peers through the dormer window and into the attic. The light’s on again. “It looks like the hatch door is open.”
“Fuckin’ A.” I climb back inside and then help her through.
We check out the master bedroom and the rest of the house. It’s so quiet. Inviting and cozy, even.
“I think she’s really gone this time,” Donna says.
“Yeah. It feels different.”
“I hope they’re together now.”
“Me too. ”
We survey the damage. Aside from the roof and the attic, it’s just the framed pictures that fell off the walls. But the damage to the roof and the attic is…extensive.
Donna sighs and laughs the resigned laugh of an exhausted homeowner. “Great. Now I’m gonna need a new roof too.”
I put my arm around her. “Well, this might be a good time to tell you that I’m a multimillionaire.”
Donna slowly turns to face me. “What?”
I shrug. “Yeah. I won the Massachusetts lottery before I won the hot-lady lottery and got into a no-strings thing with you, and now I’m kind of a big-deal investor and entrepreneur. So none of this is gonna be a problem. I’ll hire the right people, and we’ll fix it up.”
Donna snakes her arms around my neck. “You’re always going to be full of surprises, aren’t you, Mouth?”
“You know it, Red. For the rest of our lives and after. Happy Halloween, baby,” I say, grinning. “You sure know how to show a guy a good time.”
She laughs. Dropping her head and chuckling quietly at first, her shoulders shaking. Then she throws her head back and I get to hear the most joyful laugh I’ve ever heard from her. The laugh of a hard-working woman who finally knows that she’s won the heart of a man who will show her a good time until the end of all time.