Chapter 4
Chapter Four
From: [email protected]
Subject: You left your notebook in a cab and I’d be happy to mail it to you
Hi.
Let me just say right up front that I will mail your journal back to you at my own cost, if you feel comfortable giving me an address. I’m not some asshole who is going to make you pay me to return it to you. I mean, I might be an asshole to some people, occasionally, but not in this particular situation. And I just want to let you know that I did read the two pages the book was open to when I picked it up off the floor of the cab. But I stopped reading as soon as I realized it was a diary. So you have nothing to worry about there. I promise I didn’t and won’t read anything else.
Full disclosure, I’m guessing you’re underage, so I am being as careful as possible with the way I handle this. I actually asked my little sister what she thought I should do, and she very wisely suggested I mention that if you have a legal guardian you’d like to forward this email to, please do so. It was also her idea to create this new email account. It might interest you to know that apparently sixteen people have also found journals and decided to contact their owners via Gmail. I just didn’t trust that the cab company would take care of it.
So.
Yeah.
If there’s a way for me to mail this back to you in a secure padded envelope, I’d be happy to.
Sincerely,
E
From: [email protected]
OMG you have no idea how relieved I am, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I mean, I am as relieved as I can be while still being mortified. I can’t believe I left it in that cab, but I had to get out of there in a hurry. I didn’t get a receipt with the medallion number, so I would have been screwed ten different ways if you hadn’t reached out. Ironically… Never mind.
Also, I am not currently underage. I recently turned nineteen. Whatever you read in that journal was probably written a few years ago. But I’m in college now, which obviously means I am super mature and an incredibly good writer. Thank you for not making fun of my younger self’s very healthy curiosity about boys.
Despite my having achieved the age of majority as per the state of New York, could you please mail the journal to my aunt’s work address below? Just say on the label that it’s private, please.
Eternally grateful,
P
From: [email protected]
You got it. I’ll mail that out tomorrow.
Hey, this might be weird of me to ask, but I have a feeling you’d know—should my eleven-year-old sister be reading a Judy Blume book? She’s extremely precocious and loves to read, but I Googled “Judy Blume books” just now and I’m…not loving some of what I’m seeing.
From: [email protected]
I loved Judy Blume when I was a kid! Although I actually read most of her books before I was ten. I was kind of an advanced reader. If your sister is reading Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. , then she’s the perfect age for that book. The heroine is also eleven. If she’s reading Forever… or Wifey , then…you probably wouldn’t be happy about it. However, I firmly believe it depends on the maturity of the reader.
I tore through so many of my mom’s old YA romance books on my summer and winter vacations when I was ten that when I was eleven, my great-aunt Mel secretly gave me old romance books from her collection. They were meant for readers sixteen and up, according to the publishers. Like, she had me reading her tattered old copy of Valley of the Dolls when I was twelve. And then came Jackie Collins!
But yeah.
Obviously I turned out great, but if your sister’s reading Forever… , she might not be ready to learn about “Ralph.” So maybe you should get her something else to read.
From: [email protected]
Yeah… I found out that she is in fact reading Forever… . I looked it up, and you are correct—I am not happy about it and I am not ready for her to learn about Ralph. I need to order her some other books to read before I leave. Do you have any recs? She doesn’t like sci-fi or fantasy stuff right now. Nothing paranormal. No vampires or werewolves. She likes to read about people who stay people all the time, and she likes kissing books. I just need to make sure the characters don’t do anything more than kiss. Or interact with body parts that are named after guys.
I guess I should mention that I’m her much older brother and her only sibling. Our mum isn’t interested in anything that was written after the early 1960s, and my dad only reads The Sunday Times . This feels like something I need to take responsibility for.
From: [email protected]
Awww! You’re a good big brother :) I always wished I had an older brother to look out for me. Instead I was gifted with one who’s twelve years younger, and he has made it his mission in life to annoy me.
Boy, did you ask the right person for kissing-book recs! But I’m guessing that if your sister is reading Forever… then she has already read the books I’d recommend first—Jenny Han’s To All the Butts I’ve Loved Before and The Summer I Turned Pretty series. Also, the Baby-Sitters Club series. I’m guessing she read Dork Diaries and Beverly Cleary’s First Love series a long time ago. Flipped is wonderful, but she’s probably read it. There’s a lot of paranormal YA out there now, so there’s kind of a void in the current YA romance space for preteens, unfortunately. I read all of Jane Austen’s books when I was eleven. Can you find out if she’s read any of those first? If she has, we’ll get into the deep cuts.
Don’t worry—I got you :)
From: [email protected]
Um. I hit Send before proofreading. The Jenny Han series is To All the BOYS I’ve Loved Before. Autocorrect fail. grimacing face emoji
From: [email protected]
Haha. Don’t worry about it—we’ve all been there.
Yeah, my sis is eleven years younger than me. It’s an interesting sort of relationship, huh? This actually kind of runs in my family. My mum has a lot of siblings, but her youngest brother is a lot younger than her.
I asked and can confirm that she has already read all of those books you mentioned. I have to go out of town for work in a couple of days, so I’d like to order her some books ASAP, or I’m afraid she’ll get into my mum’s copy of Lady Chatterley’s Lover before the new year.
Thanks so much for your help—this is really great.
From: [email protected]
I mean. I am exceptionally wonderful in many ways, but especially this one LOL. I wish I knew myself when I was eleven.
Okay, deep cuts, here we go! (cracks knuckles) You can get her the Sweet Valley High series, author is Francine Pascal. Here’s the link in the Kindle store, but she can actually check them out from the library.
The series started in the 1980s, I think, and according to my mom, you used to only be able to get them in paperback, but they’re published in e-book format now.
And if you really want to blow her mind, order her some secondhand paperback copies of the Sweet Dreams series. Here’s the link to an online used book seller. I read every single one of these when I was eleven, and I looooooooved every single one of them. My mom has these, and I would offer to send them to you for your sister, to thank you for finding my journal, but I told my mom I would set my hair on fire if she ever gets rid of them, so I’d have to do the same if I get rid of them. And I have a feeling I’ll want my daughter to read them one day. And that I will always want to have hair.
From: [email protected]
This is really amazing. Thank you. Definitely keep your hair—you’ll probably need it. Gifted her the first twelve Sweet Valley High books and ordered ten Sweet Dreams books for her. That should keep her busy for a week.
I really appreciate it.
In return, I will give you some unsolicited advice about seven-year-old boys, because I have a feeling you might need it.
Are you ready?
He’s just being a turd because he likes you.
He will never grow out of it.
So don’t stress about it.
You’re welcome.
From: [email protected]
That is extremely helpful advice!
I mean, it would be to someone who hadn’t already reached that conclusion when her brother was five.
But it was truly sweet of you to offer something in return when you are already offering me something to return—my lost journal. Unfortunately, my dignity is still MIA.
From: [email protected]
Well… Perhaps Sherlock will take the case… smirking face emoji
Sorry.
Had to.
From: [email protected]
woman facepalming emoji
From: [email protected]
I did really like that BBC series, btw.
And if you ever need any book recs for your little brother…I’m not the best person to ask. Unless he’s into early twentieth-century Irish literature, then James Joyce has some really fun prose about being young and stuff.
From: [email protected]
I mean, my brother does like Animal Crossing , so he might enjoy the elliptical style of twentieth-century Irish lit if he weren’t so busy being a turd.
From: [email protected]
Hah! A lot going on in that one sentence, PiperThanFiction. I’m impressed.
Anyway, it’s late. I will be mailing out your journal tomorrow.
Best of luck with college and enjoy being nineteen.
Happy New Year.
From: [email protected]
Thank you, and you’re very welcome…E.
Happy New Year.
From: [email protected]
Hey, just wanted to say that my aunt received the package with my journal in it and had it couriered to me. I kind of forgot that she wasn’t going into the office until after New Year’s. But I have it now and all is well. So thank you!
—Piper
From: [email protected]
Hey, glad you got it. Sorry it took me so long to respond, but it just occurred to me to check this email account. I had been wondering if the package got to you, but I got really busy.
My sister has already read the first twelve Sweet Valley High books and a few of the Sweet Dreams ones. She loves them.
Thanks again. Take care.
From: [email protected]
I’m so glad! I knew she’d love them.
Keep in touch! If you need more recs, just ask :)