Chapter 4
ELLIE
“We need to get inside. As much as I want to finish this here and now, it’s going to be over before we even get started if we don’t stop,” Cillian says to me, and I can hear the ache in his tone.
This man wants me as much as I want him.
The possessive way my dad’s friend is looking at me has my insides turning to goo.
I love Cillian, respect him, but I don’t know how to convey those words to him.
Instead, I lean back, pulling my breasts away from the mouth that is currently trying to wrap around my nipple again despite his protests.
“I thought you said we needed to go inside?” I ask softly, cupping his handsome face in both of my hands.
He frowns, and the pout of his lips and annoyance in his eyes makes him seem twenty years younger than he is.
I can’t help leaning down and kissing his lips softly.
I’ve wanted to do this for months now. I know that my father is never coming back, and I also know that if he does, I’d never leave Cillian to go live with him again.
This man, who has protected me in ways no one else ever would, is my home, and I never want to be without him.
A shiver hits me, and it’s sharp enough that I gasp.
Cillian freezes for half a second before he stands, hauling me up with him like I weigh nothing, and to him, I probably don’t.
My bare legs wrap around his hips on instinct, and he presses his face into my neck, breathing me in like he needs the scent of me to stay alive.
“My God,” he murmurs against my skin, voice rough and reverent, “you’re finally mine.
” It sends heat spiraling straight through my stomach.
I cling tighter to him, toes curling, heart pounding so hard I swear I can feel it everywhere.
He reaches for the door, but he mutters a curse under his breath.
The keys.
They’d fallen when he picked me up earlier I guess right before he’d pulled me over his knee.
I can’t help it. I giggle.
He shoots me a warning look but refuses, flat-out refuses, to put me down. Instead, Cillian bends, muscles bunching as he scoops the keys off the wood deck while still holding me securely. When he straightens, he glowers like the keys personally offended him.
I think about saying something bratty so he’ll continue the spanking from earlier, but when he gets the door open, I forget how to breathe.
The entire cabin is glowing. Pink and white twinkle lights drape from the ceiling beams. What looks like a very real Christmas tree is standing in the corner. It’s so tall and full and covered in soft pink bows, glass ornaments that glitter like frost, and little sparkly trinkets.
The mantel is covered in snowmen and reindeer and fake snow.
It’s a fairy tale. My fairy tale.
“When did you—Cillian, how?” My voice sounds small, stunned. “This is… this is beautiful.”
He’s so pleased with himself I could melt on the spot. He sets me gently on my feet, like he’s afraid I’ll break, and just watches me take everything in.
“I’ve never had a Christmas tree before,” I whisper as I move over to touch it.
He stiffens, jaw flexing. I don’t think he meant for me to see how much that comment hits him, but I do.
“As soon as you said you wanted to come to the cabin for Christmas, I sent some of my freshmen players and their girlfriends out here. Gave them a list. Had them set everything up. Said I’d tell Lockwood they were bothering his girlfriend if everything wasn’t perfect.
” Cillian smirks, clearly proud of himself.
“You did all this… for me?” I ask him, genuinely so emotional that he did.
“I wasn’t about to leave you alone on campus,” he mutters. “And it was important to me to surprise you.”
Warmth fills my chest. Bright and overwhelming. I want to cry, but instead I say, “Thank you. For everything. You didn’t have to do any of this just because—”
Cillian cuts me off, stomping across the room until he’s towering over me. His blue eyes blaze like they’re trying to look right through me.
“I want to do things for you. Do you understand me?” His voice drops lower, more intense. “I want to take care of you. From the moment I laid eyes on you, you’ve been the only thing that’s mattered to me.”
My hand lifts before I can stop it. I press my palm to his chest. He groans the second my skin touches him, eyes fluttering shut for half a moment like he’s overwhelmed by the sensation.
“Maybe sneaking around at school will be fun,” I say, trying to lighten the mood, cheeks burning. “Now that we… you know. Kiss. And stuff.”
He snorts. “Sneaking around? Fuck that. Everyone will know you’re mine.”
My jaw drops. “Cillian! What about your job? I’m a student and—”
“I don’t need that job,” he says flatly. “I only took it so I could be on campus with you without looking like a creep.”
My mouth falls open again, and I don’t even remember closing it.
“I knew you worked for the government,” I whisper, “but I thought you’d already applied for coaching jobs before I showed up here that night.”
He shakes his head. “I wanted you somewhere safe. Somewhere I could watch you. Protect you. I’ve done nothing but work since I was your age. Saved most of it. Invested the rest. I don’t have to work another day in my life.”
This time, I can’t stop the tears. They spill silently.
“You did all that…” My voice breaks. “You did all of that without even knowing me?”
He leans down and kisses each tear from my cheeks, slow and gentle, his breath warm against my skin.
“Don’t cry, baby,” he whispers. “I felt like I knew you. And I knew you were going to be mine. That was all that mattered.”
I bite my lip and look away before I say something too big, too soon, too much.
Cillian brushes his thumb across my bottom lip, tilting my chin back to him. Then he kisses me, firm, slow, consuming.
He scoops me back into his arms in one smooth movement.
“Where are we going?” I gasp, breathless.
He smirks, eyes dark. “I’m going to make you come for me,” he murmurs, “and then I’m going to build you a fire. How does that sound?”
My heart stutters.
I nod, because that's I’ll I can manage.
Cillian carries me toward the stairs and up to his bedroom, and I curl into him, smiling like I’ve never smiled for anyone else.
Before I can even fathom what’s happening, Cillian has stripped me naked and has dropped me on his bed.
He’s lost his jacket and shirt, but to my dismay has left his jeans on.
He makes it no secret about what he's about to do. He’s done teasing us both, and I feel his fingers skirt up my inner thigh in the most delicious way.
Cillian uses two digits to run along my bare pussy and I see him swallow hard before he climbs on the bed to lean down to kiss me on my mouth gently.
“Open your legs wide for me, Ellie. I want to see every inch of you,” he murmurs.
I instantly obey, my legs falling open for him.
Before I realize what’s happening, Cillian finds my entrance and roughly pushes two of his big fingers inside of me to his first knuckle.
I stiffen, reaching up to grab onto his muscular forearm and dig my nails in.There’s a bite of pain, but there’s a delicious pressure building.
I’m torn between wanting to spread my legs wider and wanting to clamp them closed around his hand.
“Does it hurt?” Cillian grinds out against my ear.
He groans before he says, “Baby, say something. I don’t know what to do here,” he’s begging me, and I realize in this moment that when he said he’d not been with other women this way, he wasn’t exaggerating.
I can feel how much he’s struggling not to be rougher with me.
I can feel the twitch in his arm as he tries to hold completely still.
“You’re so wet for me,” he adds, kissing my neck.
I got him all worked up and now he’s trying not to let that part of him take over.
I know he has the ability to tear me in half if he wants to.
He could press me down in this mattress and do whatever he wanted right now, and there’s a part of me that thrives off of the excitement of all of that.
“Yes, but I don’t want you to stop,” I finally answer his first question with a whisper.
“Make me come on your fingers, Cillian. I want you inside of me when I come for the first time.” I’ve tried to masturbate over the years, but I was always too far in my head to get it right, I guess.
I’m glad it’ll be with him. It feels like it was always meant to be with him.
“Fuck,” Cillian hisses, pulling his fingers out of my pussy.
I cry out at the loss of contact with him, until he finds my clit and begins rubbing it in small circles.
I knew he would make me feel good, but I wasn’t prepared for this feeling of electric currents zapping straight to the little bundle of nerves he seems to like.
I lean back against the fluffy pillows when he says, “I don’t want to hurt you, baby.
You’re so tight, I don’t know how you’re going to take my cock,” he grits out and my eyes roll back in pleasure.
“I won’t break. You’ll have to stretch me out first so you’ll fit,” I tell him before I reach down and grab his hand.
I want his fingers back inside of me. I want him to bury them to the second knuckle and give me a taste of what having him thrust inside of me will feel like.
Cillian presses a rough kiss to the side of my flushed cheek and inches his fingers inside of pussy.
He’s moving so slowly that I think he’s trying to kill us both.
“You’re too tight, I’m going to ruin you.
” Despite what he’s saying, Cillian pushes his fingers inside me roughly, but still only halfway.
I can feel the way he’s trying to hold himself back.
He doesn’t want to lose control and while I love him for that, in this very moment, that’s all I want from him.
I arch back against him, silently begging him for more.