The Escape
The next day, Ilona asked Sigrid about what her married life was like. Rathnon’s aunt shared a few experiences with her.
“It was nae easy, but I don’t think any marriage is easy in the beginning or at other stressful times.”
“Did ye ever think about running away?”
“Aye, I thought about it a lot, but where would I have gone?
Thinking about it filled me with many questions and few answers.
I would eventually have had to leave my family when I wed anyway.
And if I returned, would it bring more shame on my family?
How would it affect my husband? What if I carried his bairn?
What if I returned to my home and my family was dead?
I had many questions I did nae have the answers to, so I remained.
“I didn’t ken how I could successfully escape back home to the highlands of Scotland. Mayhap worse perils would await me if I did. I grew to love my husband, who was a good man.
“Rathnon is a good man. He cares for ye deeply, otherwise he would nae have brought ye here. He had many opportunities to take a wife, but he never did. Nae until ye. It would be a shame to throw away an opportunity for a good husband.”
Sigrid had given her a lot to think about. But Ilona didn’t ken if she could live with her guilt if she didn’t escape before she wed. It would be too late afterward.
The following day, as her wedding approached, preparations were underway.
Ilona worked sewing the fine wool cloth she had made for Rathnon to the leather.
When he entered, immediately seeking reassurance that she was still here, she requested he try on the jacket after the mid-morning meal to fit it properly.
Rathnon held it up and marveled at the workmanship of such a fine garment.
It was fit for royalty. Extremely happy with the fit, the panels she’d made provided ample room as he took practice swings with his sword.
“When done, it will look better.” The hood fit perfectly, and she designed it so he could cinch it tighter or looser, depending on the wind and the weather. Rathnon’s eyes glowed with happiness, and she basked in his appreciation and praise.
Ilona had released her guilt about escaping; she had given him what she could.
Rathnon would have tangible reminders of her as her memory faded.
Afterward, she worked for hours completing the embroidery for her wedding gown.
The wolf’s coloring resembled Rathnon’s hair color of tawny blond and gold.
The wolf’s eyes were gold, like honeyed whiskey.
Ilona wished she could take it with her to remember him instead of leaving it as a gift.
Forced to leave out of duty to her father, her heart argued to stay.
Ilona covered Rathnon with desperate kisses that night as they lay pressed together.
She wanted to remember his kisses and the feelings that burned inside her.
Ilona kent she would nae have a love like his again.
She had everything ready, as best she could under the circumstances.
Her heart was heavy and sad, like a boat anchored in the bay, burdened by the thought of leaving part of her heart behind with Rathnon.
Ilona fell asleep as tears dripped from her long lashes and dripped onto his chest.
Rathnon worried about Ilona. He wanted to keep her with him always and have a family with her. He wanted to protect her—even from herself. Would Ilona hate him?
The next morning, long before sunrise, Ilona did nae make a sound as she dressed in silence. Tying her healing bag to her waist, she took one more glance at Rathnon, trying to memorize his features. Stealthily, she stole out of the longhouse into the early morning chill.
Mists hung low over the land, and the sky drizzled.
Ilona had hidden her garment bag by the fishing boat, assuring herself all would be well.
As she plodded down the hill to the coast, she heard the cry of a solitary lapwing bird.
It sounded mournful this morning. The lapwing was familiar to her as it called her home.
Did it call out to its lost mate? Would she feel lost without Rathnon after returning home?
There was nae turning back now. On the beach, she walked to where the small fishing boat was hidden. Ilona removed some of the branches of spruce and pine that had hidden it from view.
Before leaving, Ilona had left a farewell note for Rathnon, and left the only silver coin she possessed for good luck and had always carried with her.
Ilona kent it was nae enough to pay for the boat.
It was all she had to give. Her heart felt hollow in her chest, filled with anguish at the thought of never seeing Rathnon again.
“I am sorry, Rathnon. Leaving is nae a reflection on ye or how ye treated me. Ye are everything I want in a husband. Ye are kind, thoughtful, strong, and honorable. With yer fine qualities, I ken any woman would be happy to be wed to ye. I apologize for taking the fishing boat. But I must return to my family. My father will renounce me as his daughter and never forgive me if I do nae return. I owe a duty to my parents. I would stay with ye if I could. I hope ye will be happy. I will never forget ye, Rathnon.”
Ilona retrieved her sack she had hidden nearby and placed it in the boat. She kept many of the branches in the boat for sleeping on. Ilona pushed the boat out over the sand. The small fishing boat feels heavier than when I lifted it before. How could that be?
She heaved and pushed and heaved again. When she stood back to assess her progress, it appeared she had moved the boat only a fraction.
She braced her legs and pushed with all her might against the boat.
High tide was her only opportunity to get the boat into the water, otherwise she would be stuck here.
It rained softly at first, and the wind picked up.
Just what she needed. Determined, Ilona couldn’t live with herself if she gave up.
The wind whipped her hair loose in her face.
With fierce resolve, Ilona shoved the stubborn boat.
She didn’t ken if wet sand would make it harder or easier to push.
Ilona pushed and shoved. No matter how hard Ilona tried, the boat barely budged. The rain transformed into a deluge.
After pushing against the boat for what seemed like half an hour, the rain drenched Ilona, leaving her bedraggled.
Finally, reality set in when she pulled away the remaining pine boughs to see the bottom of the fishing boat weighed down by heavy stones.
Those weren’t there the other day when I inspected the boat.
Did they worry the boat would float away during high tide in a storm?
Ilona collapsed on the sand and sobbed. Only when warm, powerful arms enfolded her tenderly did she realize the boat had been purposefully sabotaged so she could nae escape. He had known. Turning around, Ilona searched Rathnon’s face. His eyes were filled with sorrow and hope.
She sobbed and railed against Rathnon, who quietly held her, sitting in the sand.
“Ye kent. Ye kent I would do this and ye stopped me. I could have left if ye did nae weigh down the boat. Why did ye do this? Why could ye nae let me go? I do nae belong here. My father will be angry and disappointed in me. He’ll never want to see me. He will nae love me anymore.”
The rain poured down over them so that Ilona could not see the tears on Rathnon’s cheeks. Saddened by the pain he had caused her, he felt a deeper pain piercing like a knife in his gut and anguish knowing she had been trying to escape and leave him.
When her sobs were spent, she clung to him.
He gently lifted her chin to gaze into her eyes.
“I warned you I would always catch you when ye fell. I also meant I would protect you. Your father will always be with you, through the skills he taught you and the experiences you shared. You will always carry your father’s love for you in your heart.
But your father is not here now. No longer does he have any say over you.
“I am here for you. I am here to protect you and care for you. You are mine to cherish and protect. By trying to escape, you have done your duty to you family. It is time to get cleaned up and warm. I do not want you to get sick. I can never let you go because you belong to me. Freya sent you to me. The first time I saw you, you wore heavenly wings.” Rathnon stood and grabbed her sack.
“What about the boat?”
“Do nae worry about the boat. It will be fine where it is for now. It is nae going anywhere,” he said with finality.
“Later, I will have men move it back under cover.” Rathnon did nae look smug as she expected—only determined.
He lifted her up into his arms to carry her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning her head on his shoulder.
He came for me. Rathnon cared about me and prevented me from leaving. Does he still wish to wed? He must be furious with me. Will he punish me?
Instead of taking her into the longhouse, he carried her into a building she had nae been into before.
He told one lass to bring towels and a blanket to him, and she nodded and ran to do his bidding.
Rathnon opened the door into a small room lined with wood and wooden benches.
Flickering candlelight from lanterns illuminated the space.
Warm inside, Rathnon undressed Ilona, removing her sodden dress.
She remained in her linen shift. He partially undressed as well, pulling off his pants, socks, and shoes and remaining in his linen tunic.
It hung halfway down his upper legs, covered in coarse hair. His legs were sculpted hard muscles.
The lass brought what Rathnon had requested, along with a water bag.
“Takk, we don’t need anything else, and I don’t wish to be disturbed.”
Ilona had nae idea what was happening, but her heart pounded when the lass left. Is he going to punish me now and doesn’t want anyone to see it?