Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
LEXI
NOW
D riving through Haven Cove for the first time in five years felt surreal. The last time I had driven these roads I couldn’t get past the border fast enough, but now a sense of familiarity washed over me. Everything looked the same, down to the houses and shops that lined the roads. As I stopped at a red traffic light, my eyes drifted to the left and I felt my heart sink slightly as I drove past the Viper clubhouse. The fence was open and I could see some bikes parked inside along the gate as always.
I blocked out everything to do with the Vipers when I left. I blocked their phone numbers and I turned off all alerts for any news stories to do with the club. I needed to forget them and pretend like they didn’t exist, otherwise I wouldn’t have survived.
A few minutes later I pulled into the driveway of my childhood home and parked the hire car in front of the garage. I stood in front of the porch steps and looked up at the house with my suitcase in my right hand before I took a deep breath and pushed open the front door.
As I walked through the front door, the first thing I noticed was that along with everything else in Haven Cove, this house also looked the exact same. My dad hadn’t re-decorated or replaced any of the furniture. My favorite swing on the front porch where I spent many nights waiting for the sound of bikes to roll into the driveway still hung in the same spot and was still decorated with the same pillows, although now faded from the sunlight.
When we all lived in this house together, it was always my job to clean up after the boys. They were both always leaving their dishes on the bench or dirty clothes in their bathroom and it was something that I resented growing up. But it looked like my dad hadn’t changed; there was mess everywhere and layers of thick dust on the furniture, showing it had been a long time since he cleaned the house.
I leaned against the back of the couch as I brought my hands to my face and took a deep breath, running my hands through my hair. I didn’t even know where to begin on cleaning this mess, but I did know it was going to have to wait because I needed to get to the hospital before Dr Harris left for the day.
After checking the time I realized I only had an hour. I splashed some water on my face and headed out the door.
* * *
W hen I arrived at the hospital, I sat in my car staring up at the sign in front of me for half an hour as I tried to build up the courage to go inside. I knew I needed to get inside before the doctor left for the day but there was a small part of me that thought about getting back in my car and trying again tomorrow. At least then I could pretend my dad was still alive for one more day. I had this small ounce of hope that Dr Harris would tell me he made a mistake, that he got his patients confused and my dad was still alive. But after I told the nurse at the reception area my name, it was impossible to miss her sympathetic smile. She paged the doctor to let him know that I had arrived.
Dr Harris led me down the hallway and into his office. He made his way across the desk and sat in his large brown chair while I took a seat in the uncomfortable black chair on the opposite side. He began explaining that he had been looking after my dad twelve months ago when he had his first minor heart attack, which my dad never told me about. He hadn’t told me any issues he was having with his health or his heart and I was so angry at him for that, but I know he thought he was protecting me. I spoke to him every Monday for the last five years. We would talk about my work, my friends, my life and he would ask me every week if I was happy, but every time I tried to ask him the same questions in return, he would give me vague answers before reverting the conversation back to me. Preston Blake and any other Vipers never visited him, not that he told me anyway, although I doubt he would have told me anything to do with the Vipers.
Dr Harris handed me the business card of the local funeral director and let me know he was expecting my call. I needed to plan what to do with the body but I never spoke about this with my dad. I didn’t know what he would have wanted. I did know one thing he would want and that was a Viper funeral, but I had no connections with the club anymore and for all I knew, neither did he. I decided it would be best to keep it small and say goodbye to my dad on my own.
* * *
O nce I got back home, I called Katie to let her know I arrived safely and she offered to be on the next flight if I needed her. Despite how exhausted I felt, I could hardly sleep that night. I started up at the roof of my old bedroom and the memories flooded my mind. I looked around the room at the pictures that were stuck on my wall along with the posters of my favorite celebrities when I was younger. When I opened my wardrobe earlier to grab a jumper, I noticed all my old clothes were still hanging where I left them. When I left, I was in such a rush that I threw a few things in a bag and then never came back for the rest of my belongings.
It felt so strange to be back in this house and to be here on my own, especially knowing that down the hallway there was another room that would also look the exact same as it did when I left. I didn’t think I would ever be brave enough to open that door.
I only had roughly three hours of sleep that night. My whole body felt both exhausted but highly alert being back here. I couldn’t calm myself down long enough to fall asleep, so when I woke up, the first thing I needed to do was head downstairs and make an extra strong coffee.
I didn’t step into the kitchen yesterday when I arrived so I wasn’t prepared for the dinner plate of food sitting on the kitchen bench or the overfilled bin. I was the first person to enter the house since my dad had his heart attack which meant I would need to clean this up because he wasn’t here to do it himself anymore.
I turned the coffee machine on and headed over to the fridge to see if he had any milk. Once I lifted it to my nose and smelt it, I tried to hold in my vomit. It was well and truly past its best before date.
A loud knock from the front door made me drop the milk into the sink, running some water to wash down the lumps of milk.
I looked out the window and didn’t recognize the woman standing out on the porch. She was an older lady who looked around seventy years old and was wearing a blue lace apron over the top of her white dress. Once I opened the door, she took a step backwards and her eyes widened in shock. She was surprised to see me answering the door.
“Oh heavens, hello. You must be Alexis. You look just like the photos your dad would show me. He didn’t tell me you were visiting.” My brows pulled together in confusion. How did she know my name and why was she visiting my dad? Before I could ask her who she was, she continued. “Sorry honey, my name is Leanne. I am your dad’s neighbor. I like to come and check up on him every few days. I made some brownies and he would always say they were his favorite so I thought he would like a plate, so here I am.” Her comment brought fresh tears to my eyes. I was so thankful my dad had someone looking out for him.
“Hi Leanne, nice to meet you. Please, come in.” I made room for her to enter the house and she followed me to the kitchen. I finished making my coffee, opting for a long black instead and made Leanne a peppermint tea. Once I had finished making the drinks, I walked them over to the dining table where she was already sitting. I sat beside her as I put down her mug in front of her.
“Your dad must be thrilled you’re here to visit, he always talks about you.” She sipped her tea, smiling up at me and I didn’t know how to tell her Dad had passed away. It made me upset to hear how much he spoke about me to someone I didn’t know. Leanne noticed my eyes begin to water and slid her chair closer to mine and reached her hand out to rub my knee. It should feel strange having a stranger reach out and touch me like that, but with Leanne it just felt comforting.
“I’m sorry, Leanne, you are the first person I’ve seen since I found out so I don’t really know how to say it. My dad passed away. He’s gone.”
She hugged me tightly. “Oh honey, I am so sorry for your loss. I had no idea. Your dad was a wonderful man. I knew he lived here alone so I would bring him treats as an excuse to check up on him but we ended up becoming the best of friends.”
“Thank you, he was wonderful. I am really thankful for you checking up on him and being there for him. It’s really nice to know he had a friend like you.”
“Well it wasn’t just me, honey. I would always plan my visits on a Monday and Friday because he had another visitor every Tuesday.”
“Oh really? Do you know who that was? I will have to let them know he is no longer here.”
“I’m not sure of his name, dear, but gosh you always heard him coming on that loud bike of his. Such a handsome man, but my gosh that bike is just too much for my old ears.”
My mouth hung open. A loud bike could only mean one thing; a Viper. It must have been Preston. I hope they rekindled their friendship before Dad passed away. I know how much Preston meant to my dad, so I wondered why he never mentioned it to me.
We finished our drinks as we ate some of the brownies. Dad was right; they were amazing. I invited Leanne to his funeral, and she told me she would really love the chance to come and say goodbye. After we finished chatting, she had to head back home before her husband wondered where she disappeared to. She invited me over for dinner when I felt up to it.
Once Leanne left, I couldn’t stop thinking about this other visitor. If Preston had been visiting Dad every Tuesday like Leanne said, I would need to tell him about my dad’s death. I was trying to decide between waiting till he came over since Tuesday would be the day before the funeral or braving the clubhouse and going to see him today. If my dad had reconnected with Preston then I knew it would mean so much to him to have his lifelong best friend also come and say his goodbyes.
Since I’d come back, I had noticed a pattern in my dad’s behavior. He seemed to withhold the truth if he believed it would hurt me. I know I didn’t want to know anything about the Vipers but I would have been happy to hear my dad was friends with Preston again. At least then I would have known he wasn’t alone in the end.
After I cleaned the dishes in the kitchen, I decided I needed to tell Preston today. He deserved to know rather than wait to be blindsided when he showed up here on Tuesday. I just hoped that I would see only Preston because I wasn’t ready to run into anyone else at the clubhouse.
* * *
I pulled up outside the Vipers clubhouse and from the outside it looked the exact same as it did when I was a child. I watched a few bikes pull in and a few leave while I was trying to build up the courage to head inside. I parked in the visitor car park and took a final deep breath to try and calm down before I walked up to the front entrance. The clubhouse is deceiving from the outside and you wouldn’t know what was behind the doors unless you had been in there yourself. From the outside, the building resembled an ordinary warehouse and each step I took led me closer to the office that sat on the outside of the building.
As I walked through the door, I was hit with the smell of cheap perfume. I looked at the young girl who was sitting behind a computer as she scrolled on her phone.
“Hello, how can I help you?” she said, looking up at me disinterested as she blew a small purple bubble with the bubblegum in her mouth.
“Is Preston Blake here?” I felt my heart pounding in my chest as I spoke his name. She laughed loudly before she placed her elbows on the desk in front of her and crossed her hands under her chin.
“Preston isn’t seeing visitors today. I can let him know you stopped by.” She was clearly trying to get rid of me because she didn’t even ask for my name to let Preston know who his visitor was. The door beside me opened and out stepped Bella Blake, Preston’s daughter and Ryan’s older sister.
“You have got to be kidding me.” Her jaw was tense and her eyes narrowed as she looked at me. I could see how angry she was to see me standing in front of her. Bella always had long dark hair but she had cut it since I last saw her, now sitting in a sharp bob style just above her shoulders. Bella and I became close friends when I lived here last, but she was another person I never said goodbye to when I left and if looks could kill, I would be six feet underground.
“I can handle this one, Crystal,” Bella said. She reached out to grab my arm just above my elbow and pulled me out the door. She let go once we were back outside in the car park. She lit up a cigarette and inhaled before turning back to me. My back was facing the clubhouse and my eyes were drawn to all of the bikes lined up against the fence.
“What the hell are you doing here, Lexi?”
“I just came to see your dad. I needed to speak to him.” I looked away from the bikes and turned my eyes back to Bella who was towering over me in her high heeled boots.
“My dad? Bullshit. Ryan is inside, Lexi, and he doesn’t want to see you. Go back to wherever you ran away to and leave us the hell alone.” She threw her now finished cigarette on the concrete, pushing it with the toe of her boot to squash the end.
“Bella, I really didn’t come here to start an argument.” My heart began to race at the thought of seeing Ryan again. Maybe coming here wasn’t the right thing to do. I was stupid to think I could come here and only see Preston. I should have found another way to contact him.
“You know, I always thought about the day you would come back. I wondered if I would be happy to see my friend or if I would still hate you for what you did. Seeing you standing in front of me now, I can easily say I still hate you.”
“You have no right to hate me, Bella. I left Ryan, not you.”
“You broke my little brother’s heart. He loved you, Lexi, we all did, but you just threw that away like it was nothing. Now you come back here five years later wanting to speak to my dad? What could you possibly have to say to him that would bring you back here?”
I looked at how angry she was and I knew I shouldn’t have come here. If this is how angry Bella was that I returned, I couldn’t even imagine how angry Ryan would be to see me. But I’m here now and I needed Preston to know about my dad passing away, even if I had to communicate it through Bella.
“My dad died.”
Bella’s face dropped.
“On Saturday. That’s why I’m here. I just thought he might want to know. I thought everyone would want to know”
I turned around quickly, wanting to be anywhere other than here, but as I turned I saw the group of men standing behind me, listening to Bella and I argue. My eyes explored the group before locking onto a pair of green eyes instantly. Ryan stood directly in front of me and next to him was his dad.
“The funeral is on Wednesday, I’m sure he would have loved for you to come,” I said to Preston before walking back towards my car.
I didn’t realize Preston was following me until I felt his hand stop me from opening my car door. Preston asked about the funeral plans and I let him know the time and place, telling him I was keeping it small and simple. Preston gave me a hug before opening my car door for me. I looked behind him to see Ryan staring at us and I got in my car and drove away.