Chapter 38
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
LEXI
NOW
2 MONTHS LATER
H aven Cove felt different now that Ryan was President of the Vipers. It felt calmer and safer. I used to always try to picture what life would be like when Jay and Ryan were leading the Vipers, and every scenario that I thought of terrified me. But I wasn’t going to let myself be afraid anymore. Ryan had a truce in place with the Horsemen now and Haven Cove was, and would remain, a drug free zone. There were no turf wars and no shootings and all of the work the Vipers were doing was legitimate and legal.
Ryan was my boyfriend again and had officially moved into the house with me two months ago after he made Ty a full member of the club. Haz thought it was finally time for him to move out of the clubhouse, so he gave his room to Ty and took over Ryan’s lease on the apartment. It didn’t make sense for Ryan to have the apartment anymore when he spent every night here with me anyway. Ryan was a big part of me turning this house into my home rather than my dad’s home, but of course I kept some of his personal items around to remember not only him but all of my family I had lost over the years.
Ryan and Haz helped me clean out Jay’s bedroom a week ago. I sat on the bed and watched them for most of it because I didn’t even know where to begin. We donated a lot of the items that had no sentimental value, but I kept so much more than I probably should have. It’s still more progress than I’d made in the last five years. Living in New York made it easy to pretend that Jay was still alive. I never told my friends about him because if I didn’t tell anyone about his death, then I thought I could pretend it never happened.
When Jay first died, I used to call his phone every single night just to hear his voicemail and I was thankful my dad never disconnected his number. But when my dad died, the number was disconnected and I couldn’t call him anymore. I wanted to feel close to him again; I wanted to speak to him even if he couldn’t answer me, and there was only one place in Haven Cove that I could do that.
* * *
R yan drove us to the cemetery in his black truck and it felt unnatural to be in a car with him and to be able to reach across to put my hand in his while he drove. I was used to being behind him on the bike with my arms wrapped around his waist. We made a stop at the local florist on our way past and I waited in the truck while Ryan went in and picked a beautiful bouquet of flowers as well as two single white roses. He took hold of my hand and walked us up the grassy hill towards the area of the cemetery where my family was. Luckily enough, all three of them weren’t too far away from each other. If you were at one of their graves, you could see the other two. Ryan and I walked past the other graves until we reached the one that read ‘Jayden Scott Davis’.
“I’ll give you two a minute,” Ryan said as he kissed my cheek and handed me one of the white roses before placing a hand on Jay’s headstone and walking further up the hill. I watched as he walked over towards my mom’s grave, placed the bouquet of flowers by her headstone and then walked over to sit in front of my dad’s. I could see him talking to him like it was so natural and I wanted to do the same thing, but I didn’t know where to start.
“Hey Jay.” I tried to swallow the lump in my throat as I took a seat in front of him and laid the white rose on the grass. “I’m sorry I haven’t come to visit you yet. I’ve been back in Haven Cove for six months now but I wasn’t brave enough to come and see you. Not here, not like this. Dad died, though you probably already know that, and I hope he’s with you now. I hope you’re with Mom and Dad and I can’t wait to be with you all one day, but you’ll just have to be patient because I’m not ready yet. I’m back together with Ryan, you’d know that too if you’re watching over me like I think you are.
“Sometimes when I was walking through the city I swear I could hear your voice in the wind. Every time I saw someone walk past with messy blonde hair, I waited for them to turn around in the hope that I saw your face. I do see your face though Jay, every single time I close my eyes.”
I felt a tear fall from my eyes as it slid down my cheek, and I brushed it away but more followed. I looked over and saw Ryan still talking at my dad’s grave.
“Did you see that Ryan is the President now? I wish you were here to see him. You would be so proud of him. Haz is still right there by his side, but it doesn’t feel the same without you and I know Ryan feels it too. I need you to keep protecting him, okay? I love him so much and I have lost so many people in my life. I can’t lose him too.”
Ryan was already looking over at me when I looked up at him. He gave me a smile and a wink before saying goodbye to my dad and walking over towards me. He quietly sat beside me and wrapped his hand around mine.
“We miss you, Jay, so much. I love you and I promise you I will come back and visit more often now that I’m home.”
“Love you, brother,” Ryan said from beside me as he ran a hand down Jay’s headstone. Ryan stood first and held out his hand to help me up. We both said goodbye to Jay and walked back to the truck.
* * *
I thought Ryan was going to drive us straight home but instead of taking the turn into our street, he drove towards Cove Point. We had spent so much time at Cove Point when we were younger and it was the home of so many of our memories, but we hadn’t been back there much since I came home and I didn’t know why Ryan chose this afternoon to take me back there. Ryan pulled the truck over but when I looked out my window, I noticed we weren’t at Cove Point yet. Ryan reached over me to open the glove compartment before pulling out a piece of black material and holding it out to me.
“Are you kidnapping me?” I looked down at the material but didn’t reach to take it from his hands as he laughed.
“I don’t think it’s kidnapping when you’re my girlfriend. Just put it on like a blindfold.” I looked at him with wide eyes. Why was he making me put on a blindfold? “Lexi, trust me, okay?” He raised his hand higher and I leaned my head back against the headrest before taking the fabric from his hands and putting it over my eyes to tie it behind my head. I heard the car start again and I could feel every turn and movement he made until the car came to a stop. I heard his door open and close before mine opened and he grabbed my hand to help me out of the car and take a few steps.
The blindfold was removed from my eyes and it took me a second to realize what was happening. I looked out at the place I have been to a hundred times, yet it looked unrecognizable. There were red flower petals making a pathway down to a white blanket and pillows at the lookout and there were some small yellow lights wrapped around the trees which made it look like a fairy tale. Standing on the white blanket was Ryan. Which meant someone else must have removed my blindfold, but when I turned around to see who it could have been, there was no one else around. I walked down the flower lined pathway closer to Ryan and once I was close enough, he reached out and grabbed my hand to bring me onto the blanket with him.
“What’s all of this?” I looked up into his green eyes and could feel his hands softly shaking in mine.
“I had this whole speech planned but now that you’re in front of me, I’ve gone blank. Lex, when you left five years ago, I didn’t realize just how much of me you took with you. But now that you’re back, I never want to let you go again. You are the person that means the most to me in this world and when I think of my future, all I see is you. I love you, Alexis Davis. I have from the moment you yelled at Jay in the sandwich shop.”
I laughed through my tears at the memory of the first time I saw Jay in his Viper cut and I could still remember how angry I was at him for not telling me. Ryan let go of my hands as he reached into his back pocket as he knelt down on one knee in front of me.
“Alexis Davis, will you marry me?”
I put both my hands over my mouth as I looked down at the most beautiful ring I had ever seen in Ryan’s hand. He was looking up at me with hope in his eyes and also a little bit of fear, as if he thought I might’ve actually said no to him.
“Yes. A million times, yes.” The second I answered him, he stood on his feet and put my face in his hands and kissed me. He held out my left hand and slid the ring onto my finger and it sparkled in the afternoon sunlight. He kissed me again and wrapped his arms around my waist to pick me up, spinning me around.
I heard yelling and cheering erupt around us and I looked over to spot Haz, Bella and Ty standing behind a bush. Of course they were here somewhere, hiding. Haz and Ty were yelling while Bella wiped away her tears before they all walked over to us.
“Does this mean I need to stop calling you baby Davis?” Haz joked as he pulled me into a tight hug.
“I’ll always be a Davis, Haz, but now I’ll be a Blake too.”
“About damn time,” Ryan said from behind me as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled my back into his chest. He dipped his head into my neck and kissed me softly before turning me around to face him.
“I love you, Ryan Blake.” I kissed the end of his nose and he pressed his forehead against mine.
“I love you, future Lexi Blake.”