Chapter 4 #2
“Um… I think he is certainly interesting. He – he was kind enough to offer me help earlier without knowing who I was at the time. Our first meeting… it was not without a few hiccups, but we’ve overcome them and agreed that we should be married in three weeks.
” Agnes paused, mulling over the last question with heated cheeks.
“I-I don’t – I barely know him, Your Grace.
So I don’t have any type of feelings for him as of now. ”
“Do you think that might change, given time?” Alexandra asked gently.
“I don’t know,” Agnes sighed honestly.
She had considered the possibility earlier on while she waited for her godmother’s return in the carriage. It might not have been on the list of her priorities to consider in this marriage, but she found out that she would not be opposed to it.
Of course, that had been before she met the Duke and found out that he was not as dreamy as her godmother assured her he would be. Before, he had refused to acknowledge his wrongdoings and spoke to her as though she was nothing but dirt beneath his shoes.
Before he had kissed her.
Now, she was just hoping that keeping her desire to reunite with her sister at the forefront of her mind would provide her with enough patience to tolerate him – at least until they were married and she got what she wanted.
The Dowager Duchess sighed as though she were disappointed in Agnes’ response, gesturing at her to sit down before settling down next to her friend as well.
“I understand your feelings, dear. I apologize for prying, but I hope you understand that I only want what’s best for my grandson.
” She paused, reaching to her side to grasp onto Lady Anna’s hand.
“I am aware that there were terms placed upon this marriage for you and that you have staked everything to be here. But when your godmother and I arranged this marriage, we were hoping to give the young people we loved a chance to find love themselves. Silas – he… he’s been through a lot of difficulties in his life, and they have left him with so many scars.
I do not intend to excuse any of his behaviors, but I do beg for your understanding. ”
Agnes’ eyes widened, and she shook her head, aghast.
“Oh, no, Your Grace –”
“It will not be easy. He has a knack for… inciting all sorts of tiring emotions from others, and you might feel as though all you need to do is wait it out in order to achieve what you want, but that will not do much to help either of you.” Agnes bowed her head, ashamed that her intentions had been caught on so quickly, her heart skipping as the Dowager Duchess continued softly.
“Instead, I hope you will make the most of it.
You do not have to attach yourself to him or push yourself to be amicable on his behalf.
For now, consider this home yours and the staff at your beck and call.
Relax and adapt to your new environment, and let the rest come naturally to you.
“We will be here, supporting you every step of the way. Silas is stubborn and frustrating at times, but he is inevitably still human, flawed, and scarred. He will come around, eventually.”
The Dowager Duchess’ words were reassuring.
She wasn’t outright asking Agnes to sweep whatever mistakes the Duke made under the rug but to be patient and also try her hardest not to keep her from getting used to her new home.
It was comforting and daunting because she still felt somewhat lost about this whole affair and wanted to surpass the discomfort of the arrangement soon.
“Thank you, Your Grace. I really appreciate your kindness.” Agnes said honestly, her heart feeling a little warm.
The Dowager Duchess beamed at her. “You can call me Alexandra, Agnes. You will be the Duchess soon enough. Perhaps we should start referring to you by your formal title.”
“Oh, no. I couldn’t –”
“She is so jumpy; it is quite entertaining to watch sometimes.” Alexandra grinned, turning to Anna.
“Oddly enough, she can be so bold at times, and it concerns me greatly. It is a wonder she did not fight with the Duke when they first met.” Her godmother sighed, shaking her head.
Her speculations were so accurate Agnes felt herself choke on nothing in shock, pressing her hands over her mouth as she coughed.
“Are you all right, dear?” Alexandra queried, worried.
“Y-Yes. I’m just fine, thank you.” Agnes wheezed once she had managed to calm herself.
The ladies watched her uncertainly for a moment and Agnes felt overcome with the desperation to change the subject.
“The wedding! It is – it’s happening so soon, and I’m afraid I haven’t the slightest clue on how to start making preparations for it,” she quickly admitted.
“Oh, nonsense. You will not be doing it on your own. We’re here to help,” her godmother stated with a wave of a hand.
“Really?” Agnes glanced between her and the Dowager Duchess. “But I couldn’t possibly make you do that –”
“You would not be making us do anything. What use would our amassed life experiences be if we could not guide or assist you? We would be delighted to help you. Whatever you might need, just say the word, and we will be there,” Alexandra promised.
Agnes felt overwhelmed with emotions at that declaration.
She was used to doing things herself, sorting through her problems on her own, ever desperate to be a solid rock her sisters could go to and rely on.
Asking for help was not something that came easily to her, but to have it offered as carefreely as this gave her so much hope for the future.
“Thank you… thank you so much. I look forward to spending even more time with you… Alexandra.”
The Dowager Duchess’ smile told her that at the end of the day, she would be just fine.
“You’re welcome, love.”