Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Agnes crawled out of bed before the sun rose.
Even though her body ached to return to the soft and warm cocoon of her sheets and covers, there was still quite a bit to be done and not a lot of time left.
She had worked really hard these past few weeks, and now, with only a few days until two of the biggest events of her life, she was doing all she could to keep her strength up and advance forward.
Thankfully, there weren’t more incidents after she had fallen last week, but she still felt anxious.
Silas had suspected that his cousin was behind the sabotage and told her he would handle it but did not inform Agnes of the result of whatever actions he carried out.
Agnes was very surprised to learn that Lord Hamilton’s competitive streak was this strong and disappointed that he was not above harming others to get what he wanted.
Even though it terrified her to have been involved in their spat, she felt even more justified over her decision to stand before Silas to ensure that he did not go ahead with his plan to let his cousin win the competition.
Such a person did not deserve to be rewarded with ease for his evil deeds.
And she might not be overly fond of her husband-to-be, but she could understand why he felt it would be best to grant Lord Hamilton the victory he so desperately desired.
If she were the one who had to deal with someone so tiring and potentially dangerous, she too might decide to simply grant him his wishes in hopes of being left alone.
Agnes quickly changed into her riding habit and threw a cloak on before leaving the mansion, hoping to be able to warm Scar up a little and run over some of the drills he had mastered by the time breakfast was ready.
The sky had taken up a pale blue color by the time she was outside, the darkness of night fading away gradually as some of the chill it had brought on lingered, and she suppressed a shiver, pulling her cloak closer as she marched to the stable.
Most of the horses were still asleep, but Scar was waiting for her, huffing softly as she approached his stall and reached out to stroke his nose. For a moment, her mind wandered to his master, and her heart twisted in her chest.
After Silas had shared that little bit of his past, it had been hard to reconcile the image of him by her side with the Duke, who seemed to have been tasked with getting on her nerves. She wanted to know more about him, to understand him, to ease away whatever worries might be haunting him.
It was infuriating since he still insisted on keeping their relationship formal and refused to address the kiss that had taken place in his study. It was getting quite tiring, not knowing what to do with him.
She saddled Scar – checking every part properly to ensure nothing was out of place – and led him out of the stable, nearly jumping out of her skin in fright as she caught sight of a dark figure standing close by.
“Heavens! Lady Agnes? Why are you out here so early?”
Agnes blinked and looked closer, shoulders slumping as she sighed in relief after recognizing the person in front of her.
“Mrs. Safield, why are you out so early? You nearly sent me to my death!”
The housekeeper tutted in disbelief. “I am sorry, my lady, but I do tend to take early morning walks quite often. I suppose you want to take Scar for a ride?”
Agnes nodded, tightening her grip on the horse’s reins as she replied.
“Yes. I have to sort through some final decisions for my wedding after breakfast with the Dowager Duchess and my godmother, and so I wanted to get him a little warmed up against later because I am not sure when I’ll be getting to train him.”
“You are working really hard,” the older woman observed with a smile.
“We’ve seen how you have been doing your very best with Scar and ensuring that your wedding goes without a single hitch, and it has been impressive to watch.
You will make a great Duchess, my Lady, and it would be an honor to serve you. ”
Marion’s words melted Agnes’ heart, and it took a lot to keep herself from tearing up instantly.
“I cannot take all the credit. You and the other members of the staff have granted me a lot of assistance along the way, and I am very lucky to have such capable hands by my side.”
She meant every word. Over the last few days, Forestwood had grown to feel a little more like home with every passing moment.
She knew that it would never completely come to be so – not without her sisters – but she had grown quite comfortable within its walls and on its grounds, and it was mostly due to the care of the kind staff.
They had accepted her without a second thought and provided her with anything and everything she needed. Agnes often found herself praying that she would make a trustworthy and dependable Duchess because they deserved nothing less.
And hearing one of the highest members of the household state their belief in her warmed her heart up with assurance.
“We are always happy to help.” Marion’s smile dimmed slightly, and she lowered her voice.
“I… I understand that the circumstances of your marriage are not ideal. Still, I really do hope that you are not too discouraged. I know that the Duke can be challenging, but please find it in your heart to pity him. It is not his fault that he is the way he is. I imagine that anyone would change after going through what he went through.”
All of Agnes’ attention snapped to Marion, and she couldn’t stop herself from questioning, “What? What happened?”
Marion shook her head as if recalling the events alone filled her with immense grief.
“I… I suppose no one has told you… How the old Duke passed.”
When Agnes shook her head, the housekeeper sighed and wrapped her arms around herself.
“He was in an accident. No one really knows all the details, but he had been on his way home with His Grace – your betrothed – and their carriage had somehow lost a wheel during the ride and ended up crashing into a forest. The old Duke had died right before his eyes, and from what the mortician had said when Her Grace had demanded to know what happened to her husband – they did not let her see him – he seemed to have suffered quite a bit. His Grace was injured, too, but thankfully, he was all better in a few weeks. But his mind did not recover, I think. He used to be so thoughtful and kind, but now…”
“I just… I hope he is kind to you, my lady. Both of you deserve to be happy, regardless of what pains you might have endured in the past. Perhaps because of all your suffering, even.”
It was devastating to learn that about Silas.
To think that he had been a part of the accident that claimed the life of someone he led dear.
She could only imagine what that could do to a person, to have not merely been involved in the same accident but to watch as your loved one passed on, helpless and hurt.
It might not excuse Silas’ faults, but it shed some light on why he perhaps could not stand the idea of forming attachments with others.
His parents were no more, and he also lost the person who had raised him afterward.
Agnes understood the pain of loss all too well, and her only deliverance from a path of loneliness and possible destruction was her sisters.
She had moved on – lived on for them. But Silas…
he was alone, without anyone who could understand his grief as clearly as he experienced it.
Marion’s words stayed with Agnes for the rest of the morning, echoing in her mind as she ran Scar through a few drills – less than she had initially planned to because she could not focus – and even while she ate breakfast. The meal went by quickly due to her inability to taste anything, and soon, she was sitting with her godmother and the Dowager Duchess, going over some of the final details of her wedding.
“Shall we invite Lord Reinhart?” Lady Anna asked, narrowing her gaze at the guest list.
“Perhaps not. He and Silas got into a tiff at last year’s horse competition, and he appears to have held a grudge over it.
I would rather not let someone with such dislike for my grandson attend an event that is meant to mark a new beginning for him.
” Alexandra replied, stirring her tea. “Silas would prefer the wedding to be small, intimate anyway – a small mercy upon us as he doesn’t have a lot of friends anyway. ”
“Also, he is much too irritating to be around, given his tendency to bootlick at any opportunity he gets.” Agnes’ godmother shivered in disgust and crossed the name from the list.
“Precisely,” the Dowager Duchess nodded, then glanced at Agnes, who had hardly spoken since they began. “I am sorry, dear, that your sisters cannot attend.”
When no reply was given, Lady Anna reached out and pinched the bride-to-be. Agnes sat upright with a start, glancing between them with pink cheeks.
“I beg your pardon?”
Silas’ grandmother exchanged a look with her godmother and repeated herself, “I’m sorry that your sisters will not be able to attend your wedding.”
“Oh,” Agnes cleared her throat and stared down at the table with a frown. “It’s… it’s all right. I shall see them soon enough, regardless.”
Her response – although expected, given her usual stance on topics involving her sisters – did not chase away her godmother’s concern as she reached out to gently pat at the spot on Agnes’ arm that she had pinched.
“Are you all right, love? You seem… distracted.”
Agnes blinked at her and hung her head again.
“I… I’m sorry. I am merely a little tired, that’s all.”
“Would you like us to continue this at a later day?” Alexandra offered kindly. “We are almost done with the preparations, and there is barely anything else we would need that your lady’s maid or even your godmother herself cannot tell us.”
“You have been quite busy of late. With training Scar and planning your wedding… I imagine that it all has been wearing you out.” Lady Anna added with an apologetic expression.
“No,” Agnes shook her head slowly. “No, I’m all right, really. Yes… things have been a little tasking, but I’m fine. Just…” She bit her lip thoughtfully for a moment and sighed. “… thinking. About Silas.”
“Oh.” The Dowager Duchess’ face went blank. “Are you perhaps having second thoughts –”
“Absolutely not,” Agnes objected, a little scared at the thought.
“No. I simply meant that I did not know him. And I wish I did. Our marriage might be for reasons that we stand to benefit from separately, but still… I wish to be a good wife to him. For him. And that cannot happen if I do not know him – what he likes, what he does not like. His thoughts and feelings. I… know it is probably too much to ask, given our circumstances –”
“It is not,” Alexandra interrupted with a soft smile.
“You will be spending the rest of your life with him if all goes well. It is the least you should desire about someone you are about to be joined in matrimony with. I might not be able to tell you everything about him – especially seeing as he has changed so much since my dear Nicholas was taken from us so suddenly. But do not be fooled by the cold exterior he wields like a shield. As a boy, he was quite mischievous and – dare I say – tiresome, at times.”
Lady Anna scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Even now, you are still trying to coddle him. He was not tiresome. That child was an absolute menace.” She crooked a finger at her goddaughter and when she leaned in, continued suspiciously.
“One time, I came to visit, and the little terror had somehow managed to set a frog loose in the mansion. It took the entire staff – along with him – two hours to catch the thing.”
Alexandra laughed. “Oh, but that was such a fun day! Nicholas had instructed that Silas retrieve it alone since he had caused the problem, but after an hour of stumbling and diving under furniture to catch it – and failing to do so – the household came together to help him. He was like that – inspiring adoration and loyalty. Most of his fumbles always led to the most precious of moments that left you cooing at him rather than upset. When he was three, he wandered away from his nanny and somehow ended up in the kitchen next to some of the crushed blueberries that were to be baked into a pie for dinner. By the time he was found, there was barely any part of his skin that wasn’t blue! ”
Agnes tried to imagine three-year-old Silas wobbling about on unsteady legs, blue and unaware of the chaos he was causing, and giggled at the thought.
As if his grandmother could read her mind, she started speaking again.
“Even as he learned to walk, he was something else. Most children hold onto their parents, but Silas was too eager to learn on his own. He clutched at anything and everything in sight. Drapes, tablecloths, skirts – anything that would pass by, he would reach for. One time, he managed to drag down the Christmas tree that had been set up for a party. When the servants rushed into the room after hearing the crash, he was the only thing standing. It was quite a sight.”
Agnes began to laugh, slowly losing the ability to breathe, groaning when Lady Anna took the opportunity to tell another story,
“He once got chased by an angry duck because he cut too big a piece of bread and hurled it into the water, and it accidentally hit a duckling. He didn’t mean to, but the thing chased him around the park for a solid six minutes, and he ran around screaming at the top of his lungs.”
By the time her godmother had finished retelling the event, Agnes was wheezing, cheeks flushed as she gasped for air between chuckles.
It was hard to believe that Silas had been this endearing and just as much of a menace as most children were.
In her mind, the image of him that had begun to soften into a sad man who had no idea how to properly deal with grief took on a different look, appearing more and more relatable with each passing moment.
The stories gave her hope for their future that someday, that childlike joy he had once enjoyed would return to him.
“Do you want to hear more? We have so many to tell.” Alexandra offered, feeling relieved at the look of enjoyment that had taken over the sad cloud that had hovered above Agnes.
Agnes cleared her throat and sat upright, her lips failing to keep themselves from curling upwards in mirth.
“Yes, please. I want to hear it all.”