Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Even though it had happened on two separate occasions, there was still a fraction of doubt lingering in Agnes’ mind on whether the Duke would keep his word and continue to reward her in the manner he had decided to.
But it seemed he was intent on doing so, much to her surprise and mild relief.
For the next few days that led up to the horse competition, they had established something of a routine between them.
Silas would show up in the mornings to watch her practice, and at night, after she had reported her training session to him, he would pleasure her in his study.
The entire affair felt unimaginable – unreal, almost – and it took place day after day.
Silas never sought to benefit from the new addition to their deal, always focused on showering Agnes with attention, guiding her to a state of desire and lust, always ensuring that she fell off the edge, and always holding her afterward.
This interaction granted her some hope for their future. It went against his initial requirements of their marriage – regardless of whether he was willing to address it. If he was willing to be this intimate with her, then perhaps he would eventually open up his heart to her.
If he hadn’t already.
Sometimes, while he rewarded her, there were moments when he was so gentle, his actions so tender, she felt he was not doing this merely as a means of expressing his gratitude. Something in the way that he held her told her that something had changed between them, perhaps for the better.
Agnes wanted to believe that although this had begun because they both had something to get out of their marriage, maybe they could make the most of it.
Perhaps she could have everything, after all: her sisters and a loving husband.
It left her in awe because she had never really considered wanting that – even when her father had expressed it was something she wished for in her stead.
“Aggie, your mother was my entire world. When she gave birth to you and your sisters, it felt as though my world grew a lot more. But after she passed… it felt as though the foundation of that world vanished.” He had told her once, staring blankly into the fireplace.
“I don’t have any regrets. Even though some days, I can’t breathe and other days leave me feeling lost, I would not trade the years I had with her for a single thing in this life.
Absolutely nothing. I hope you find a man who makes you his world.
One who cherishes you relentlessly and keeps you safe and loved for the rest of your days. ”
It had seemed too good to be true, to attain love as great as her parents once had, and so she simply believed it was not meant for her.
Now, this man she was betrothed to – with their wedding merely three days away – had caused her to dream of that very same love. She hoped that he would ache for her as she did for him, prayed that he would come to love her as she had come to love him.
It had hit her on their third night together how deeply she cared for him.
He had been stroking her hair as she lay on his chest, sated and blissful, and she had noticed their hearts were beating in sync.
It felt like a sign to her, exposing her innermost thoughts and feelings that she had not allowed herself to acknowledge while also hinting at his own feelings.
She was in love with him. And perhaps he felt the same way.
“You should do something nice for her.”
Silas did not turn to look at who had spoken, but he held his elbow out so she could hold onto him, the parasol a servant had been using to keep her out of the sun’s harsh rays covering him as well.
“What for? I have already expressed my gratitude. Countless times,” he replied, watching as Agnes guided Scar into making a jump, smiling when the horse landed flawlessly.
“As kind as it is that you decided to offer your thanks with words, women often prefer to receive acts or gifts expressing the emotions a man feels for them,” his grandmother pointed out.
For a moment, Silas considered telling her just how he had been expressing his gratitude to her, but then he decided otherwise, knowing that she might just enjoy hearing about it too much. Then his mind nitpicked at her words, and he stiffened.
“I have no feelings for her,” he stated coldly.
“Gratitude, dear. Even gratitude deserves to be rewarded properly. Or do you wish to tell me that you have no reason to be thankful to her? The girl handled most of the preparations for your wedding while also training your beloved horse. She is up at the crack of dawn to walk him, then plans with us, and then she returns to the stables to train the horse. She has done nothing but work since she arrived – befriending the staff, familiarizing herself with duties she will take over from me once you are married. I doubt you have spared a single thought about all that.”
She was right, he hadn’t. At first, it was due to his efforts to not care about her at all, but then it seemed as though her time was spent either training Scar or planning their wedding.
He had no clue what she did in between those moments, what the rest of her days consisted of.
And he wished to know, but he was afraid it was too late.
He also hadn’t given up his plan to refrain from any sort of attachment, but he was not particularly fighting off his attraction to her either. He felt confused and conflicted, and all he knew was that he did not wish to hurt her anymore.
With a sigh, he finally looked at his grandmother.
“What do you propose I do?”
The Dowager Duchess sighed, long-suffering, clearly miffed over needing to explain everything to him.
“Buy her something nice. All women love receiving tokens of affection – no matter what reason might lay behind it. I will not tell you what to buy – you should know her well enough to know what she would appreciate.”
Somehow, he had expected that – even if it was a bothersome reply he had not wanted – and he understood her motivations.
“All right. I will get her something,” he said softly.
“Good boy.” She nodded and left him to his thoughts.
His grandmother was right; Agnes did deserve something more tangible than the trysts they had been having, and he wished for it to be something special – something she would like.
He shifted his attention back to her, watching her confidently ride Scar, guiding him without ever faltering, her passion for horses reflecting in the way her eyes shone.
An idea came to him almost immediately, and he wasted no time putting it into action. He turned to leave, then paused, beckoning Simon over moments later.
“I have a meeting in town. Let Lady Agnes know that I will see her later tonight.”
The boy nodded, and Silas smiled down at him, ruffling his unruly locks before returning inside the mansion. Lukas fell into step by his side as soon as he was within the walls of his home, and Silas quickly instructed.
“Have them bring the carriage around. I must go into town now.”
Lukas bowed and went off to do as the Duke asked, and Silas went to change into something less conspicuous.
By the time he left the mansion again, the carriage was waiting.
He ordered the coachman to take him into town, towards the shops, and sat back, hoping he would find what he had in mind.
When they arrived at the busy streets, Silas kept his eyes out, searching for the shop he had intended to visit.
“Stop!” he called out the moment he spotted it, stepping out of the carriage the moment it rolled to a halt.
The shop owner was a kind old man who had been friends with his grandfather. He looked up when Silas walked in, and recognition shone in his eyes as he stepped out from behind the counter.
“Your Grace,” he said with a bow. “It has been far too long. I am glad to see you are doing well.”
Silas’ heart lurched as he recalled the numerous memories this place held for him. Ever since he was young, he would visit this shop with his grandfather on Sundays, exploring the many pieces displayed on the shelves as the old Duke searched for what would be the latest addition to his collection.
The shop specialized in the sale and trade of glass and crystal figurines.
His grandfather had a grand collection, with an entire room dedicated to displaying the precious miniature pieces.
It was something he greatly loved, and his favorite pastime was coming to this shop to search for something he did not have or exchanging something he did for a different piece that piqued his interest.
After he passed, Silas’s grandmother returned all the figurines to the shop.
She said she could not bear to have so many shiny things lose themselves because their caretaker had also been lost. After all, it was his grandfather who polished each piece himself, and no one would be able to take on the role and perform it adequately.
Silas had not been here since his grandfather died. Come to think of it, there were so many places, so many things, he had not revisited since the old Duke’s passing.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Jefferies,” Silas cleared his throat, blinking away the mist in his eyes. “I would like to pick out a gift for someone.”
Mr. Jefferies smiled in the kind way he always did and asked.
“Is there something specific you have in mind? And might I ask who the person is? Perhaps I can offer you some insight on what they might like.”
Silas inhaled deeply and glanced at the shelves. When he looked back at the shop owner, he felt more inclined to get this done.
“I do… have something in mind. And she is my betrothed. We are to be married in three days.”
The man’s face lit up brilliantly.
“Oh, how wonderful, Your Grace! That is excellent news. Congratulations. Is this to be a wedding gift, then?”
Silas shook his head quickly. “No… perhaps that will come later. I just wished to give her something as a token of my… appreciation.”
“I see,” Mr. Jefferies grinned. “Well, what does she like? Even though you have something in mind, perhaps looking from another angle will ensure that your choice is the most ideal one.”
His question was an easy one because it was perhaps the one thing he knew about her very well.
“Horses. She loves horses.”
The older man’s expression took on a softer side.
“Like you.”
“Like me,” Silas nodded.
Mr. Jefferies thought for a moment and then said,
“I think I have just the thing. Come with me.”
Silas was always warm. It was something Agnes had grown to love about him – how cozy his embrace was whenever he held her. Now, she was seated in his lap, nuzzling along his neck, feeling pleasantly worn out after her release.
He had been really gentle tonight, every kiss deep and slow, each touch deliberate and scorching. She had moaned his name for what felt like an eternity, shared his breath and taste, and reveled in the way he took her apart and pieced her back together.
Now, he was holding onto her, keeping her warm and safe. She wondered if this was what love felt like. If this is what it felt like all the time.
“I have something for you,” he murmured against her cheek, pressing a small kiss to it.
“Hmm?” she blinked, pouting when he gently moved her to sit on the chaise so he could go to his desk.
When he returned, there was a small blue velvet box in his hands, the white silk bow on top of it seemingly glowing.
He sat next to her and held it out. For a moment, she just stared at it.
He patiently waited for her to realize that she was meant to collect it and open it, slowly reaching for the box and settling it on her lap.
Slowly, she undid the ribbon and lifted the lid, peeking inside.
As soon as she laid her eyes on the contents of the box, she gasped.
“Silas…” she mumbled, looking up at him with moist eyes.
“Come now, Agnes,” he teased, caressing her cheek. “You haven’t even looked at it properly. Go on.”
With a shaky inhale, she lifted it out and held it in her hands, her gaze running over the item as if she were trying to commit each detail to memory.
It was a glass figurine of two horses. They seemed to be jumping at each other, standing on their hind legs, which were attached to a small rectangular slab of ivory, upon which they would stand when she displayed them.
It was a magnificent gift. Possibly one of the best she had ever received.
“I’m starting to think I made the wrong choice,” Silas said with a little laugh.
She was quick to clutch at his arm and shake her head, hoping she sounded as earnest as she felt.
“No, you did not. It is wonderful. I absolutely love it.”
He smiled at her, reaching out to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear, tugging at the earlobe before he pulled away completely.
“Do you really?”
Yes, I love you as well, she almost said. But perhaps this was not the time. Perhaps it was all right if she waited a little longer before telling him. For now, this would have to suffice. She smiled back at him, leaning forward to press her lips against his as she whispered.
“I really do.”