Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
The next morning brought with it a new wave of hope for Silas.
It felt as though, for the first time in a long while, he felt thankful for the dawn of a new day, for the breath in his lungs and the warmth beneath his skin.
He had not realized just how unfeeling his life had been for the last few years, and now that he was attempting to turn over a new leaf, he was finding that there were so many things to look forward to.
The Duke joined his grandmother, as well as his betrothed and her godmother, for breakfast, mostly listening to them talk about the wedding and the final details that needed to be decided upon – if the wedding was still going to take place.
When he was addressed, he provided his input but was mostly content simply watching his grandmother get along with his possible future wife.
He was ashamed to realize that he had never really thought about it, had never wondered about their interactions and how close they were.
He merely believed that his grandmother had been kind to Agnes – as she was to everyone – and his betrothed had received the kindness well and returned the favor.
Now, though, he could see that the Dowager Duchess was enamored with the potential wife of her grandson, he could also tell that Agnes was just as fond of her and held her in high regard.
It filled him with warmth to know that his grandmother would have someone else to dote on and Agnes, another person concerned over her wellbeing, if they were to marry.
After breakfast, he took a walk down to the stables to check on Scar’s condition. The horse’s health seemed to have greatly improved, and Simon thought it would be good to let him have some fresh air, leading him outside for a walk.
“You did really well, holding out on your own,” he muttered, stroking the horse’s neck as he chewed on some grass. “Thank you for not giving up.”
Silas stayed for a bit to watch the creature, then he headed inside to his study, where he spent about two hours sorting through some work and preparing for the staff replacements.
His grandmother had said that she would handle it, but he at least wished to make things a little easier for her.
At some point, there was a knock at his door, and he grunted in response, feeling a little worn out.
His valet opened the door and walked in, speaking after he bowed.
“The Dowager Duchess would like to see you in the drawing room, Your Grace.”
The Duke frowned in confusion.
“Now? Is everything all right?”
“I believe so. It might have seemed as though she was a little insistent that you come, but other than that, I think all is well.”
Silas had mostly finished his duties and did not wish to cause his grandmother any distress and nodded, rising out of his seat.
When he arrived at the drawing room, he noted that he might have misconceived the situation because other than his grandmother, Lady Anna and Agnes were also there, seated across from the Dowager Duchess.
“What is going on? Is this an intervention of some sort?” he questioned, feeling as though he should be very concerned over his wellbeing.
“Not quite, dear,” his grandmother grinned in a manner Silas could only associate with mischief. “Actually, we’ve come up with a way for you to prove your intentions to Agnes.”
“Oh?” Silas intoned warily.
Lady Anna grinned and clapped her hands twice, and a few maids walked in carrying plates. When they dropped them onto the table, Silas noted with a sinking feeling that the plates contained cakes, fancily decorated with white frosting, some of which were topped with fruits or chocolate.
“If you truly wish to show that you are serious about marrying my goddaughter, you should be willing to walk through this last detail for your wedding with her. She has the decisiveness of a toddler sometimes –”
“There was no need to slander me, Godmother,” Agnes sighed in resignation as though this was a normal occurrence.
“ – and it would be really helpful if you are able to help her with this matter,” Lady Anna finished with a smile.
Silas stared hard at them for a moment, and then he turned to his grandmother and pointed out stiffly,
“I hate sweets. You know that.”
“Silas, if you are to marry, you should be prepared to do whatever your wife needs of you – with a smile.”
Damn it, she was good.
Sighing with resignation, Silas sat down and gestured at the spread.
“It is just a singular wedding cake we need. Do we need to sample these many of them?”
“We need to be sure of our decision. It would be best if we pick a cake that everyone will enjoy,” Agnes said thoughtfully, picking up a fork and a plate and handing them over to him.
The Duke collected them and eyed the collection of cakes before him, trying to pick the one least likely to kill him with its sweetness.
There was one with simple, nondescript frosting that appeared to be some sort of cream.
It was by far the plainest in terms of decoration, and it felt like the safest option, so he reached out and cut a bit out of it and put it onto his plate.
With a deep breath, he put a forkful into his mouth. And promptly regretted all his life decisions.
All he could say was that it was sweet. Far too sweet.
The cream must have been beaten with an absurd amount of sugar because it tasted so sweet he felt a twinge of pain in his head.
With a shudder, he forced himself to chew and swallow, breathing heavily once he had gotten the bite down.
Once he had managed to dispose of it, he reached for a glass of water, and once he had downed half of it, he faced the snickering ladies and stated plainly.
“That was horrendous.”
“You have only just begun, dear. Try the one with purple grapes to your left. The baker said it was layered with buttercream – that should be easier for you to digest.” The Dowager Duchess suggested.
He squinted at her in suspicion, not believing the innocent front she put up before him but relenting because he knew he had no other choice. She had not been wrong; the cake was a lot less sweet in comparison to the other, but it had raisins, and he never liked raisins.
With a sigh, he faced his betrothed and asked,
“Any requests from you? Which would you like me to try next?”
She shrugged with a coy smile. “Whichever you choose. I need actual constructive opinions rather than you wincing at every bite. Try a little harder, hmm?”
Silas stared at her, a little disheartened but wholly unsurprised that she would choose to side with the other women in tormenting him.
Had women always been this difficult to please?
It seemed less like they were testing his loyalty and more as though his endurance was under question.
But he knew he was hardly in a position to refuse.
Agnes… her happiness was his goal, and he needed to prove that he could be trusted as a custodian and an advocate for that.
For her, he would do anything.
And so, the torture continued. He tried to be as constructive as she had requested, pointing out cakes that were the softest, the ones with better texture due to the bits of fruit baked into them, the ones that felt like more frosting than cake – he nearly wept after a bite of that one – and so on.
He had no idea how long it had been since the exercise began, just that at some point, he felt as though he had reached his limit and could go no further, feebly asking a maid to fetch him a cup of black coffee.
A hand gently combed through his hair, and he shifted his gaze to Agnes, taken by her beautiful smile.
“You did really well, Silas. Color me impressed,” she giggled.
And if he didn’t know, then he was very sure that he would regret it for the rest of his life if he did not marry this woman.
He had grown to ache for her, to desperately seek out a life with her by her side until he took his last breath.
He wondered if this was how his grandfather felt when he had met his grandmother if he had been this suffocated by his desire and need to have and to hold.
Slowly, Silas took her other hand and hoped to God he sounded as earnest as he felt as he requested,
“Marry me, please.”
They might have been simple words, but he hoped they would convey the feelings of his heart to this wonderful woman.
The very same woman who asked for him to prove that he was serious about her, but still didn’t let that keep her from showing him affection last night.
Despite what he had done and the fact that her faith in him had been brought to question, she still came to him, worried for his wellbeing and offering him company and warmth.
They had talked a lot about nothing in particular, and even though there were moments that felt as though claws were ripping through his insides, Silas felt free when he awoke in the morning with her still in his arms. He felt his old scars begin to heal, gained hope and even started to hope for the future.
And he wanted to return the favor to her. He wanted her to feel as safe as he did with her, for her to rely on him, to provide her with the stability she deserved.
He saw no sense in lying that he had stopped feeling unworthy of her, but rather than focus on that point, he would prefer to acknowledge that he wanted her, and if she would have him, he would stop at nothing to prove himself to her.
Agnes studied his expression for a moment, and hers melted into something fond and happy.