Chapter 22 #2
“I saw. Congratulations, Your Grace.”
He snickered and dismounted from Outlaw, reaching forward for Scar’s reins, taking both horses to a tree close to theirs and tying their reins securely around a low branch.
When he returned, she was seated on the blanket, with her hands atop the picnic basket he asked to be prepared and delivered before they arrived there.
He gently pulled it from her towards himself, opening it to retrieve a small bouquet of flowers he had picked himself from the rooftop garden – just a handful of daisies, lilacs and lilies, with a singular pink rose in the midst of the others. He held it out to her, suddenly feeling nervous.
“I picked some flowers for you. I wasn’t sure which you liked, so I picked a few I remembered my mom liking.”
She collected the bouquet, lightly running her fingers over the soft petals as she spoke to him softly.
“It seems your mother and I have a few things in common. These are a few of my favorites, as well. This is beautiful, Silas. Thank you.”
He sighed in relief, feeling pleased that his gesture made her happy.
“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” he said, taking out the other contents of the basket and setting them down on the blanket.
The cook had been more than happy to whip up a few sandwiches and offered up some cookies and muffins from a freshly made batch. There was also a bottle of wine from the cellar that Silas had included himself, and Agnes seemed particularly interested in that item.
“Is there a special occasion I failed to remember?” her face paled. “Is it your birthday today?”
Silas chuckled and shook his head as he assured her that, “No, my birthday isn’t for another few months. Don’t worry.”
When she sighed in relief, he handed her a glass of wine he had poured and continued,
“I merely wanted to spend some time with you. I realized that it wasn’t the best to be getting married without spending time with you properly. I know it’s late, but I wanted to at least try. I’m not expecting anything other than a nice conversation with my future wife.”
“That’s… really thoughtful, Silas,” Agnes said softly.
“Really?” he questioned in surprise.
She nodded. “I… at one point, I felt saddened that I did not know you that well. I even expressed my concerns to your grandmother. At the time, it was because I had felt myself slowly growing to care for you, and I knew it would be hard to properly take care of you if I didn’t know what you needed.
And I wouldn’t know what you needed if I didn’t know you.
She assured me that we had all the time in the world to learn about each other once we were married, but still…
I wanted to speak with you. To hear your thoughts on different topics, to learn about your likes and dislikes before we were wed, so everything that would come after wouldn’t feel like an afterthought. ”
“I felt the same way. I agree with my grandmother that we still have time to achieve all that, but there’s nothing wrong with getting a head start, right?” He held out his glass of wine to her.
She gently clinked hers against his in agreement.
“I never thought I’d be able to love someone like this,” he confessed after a sip.
“After my grandfather’s death… I never wanted to get close to a single person again.
Losing my parents had been a difficult experience of its own, as many would expect, but I think I was able to deal with it better because I was young.
And I had my grandfather. He had understood me better than anyone else and had known just what to say to get me to breathe through my grief. With him, things… made sense.
“And after we lost him, I lost myself. His death haunted me because I watched him suffer until he took his last breath; I couldn’t help him.
Sometimes, I have nightmares about that day.
And it terrified me to think of losing another person after that, so I felt it would be easier if I just closed off my heart.
I’m glad that you somehow broke through my walls – like the force of nature that you are. ”
“That is a compliment, right?” she narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously.
“Of course,” he beamed back innocently.
She giggled and reached for his hand, holding it between hers in her lap.
“I think I understand what you meant when you said you never imagined being able to love someone like this.
Although, my context is much different. For most of my life, I lived for my sisters.
I was their protector and their guardian, and I only ever wanted happiness for them.
Their happiness was my happiness, and so, I never sought to have anything for myself – until I met you.
At first, I tried to be civil because I needed you to help me bring them back into my life, but then, I became interested in you… for you.
“It had nothing to do with them most of the time, and I found myself craving facets of you that I never had the faintest idea that I would. And it made me realize that perhaps my father had been thinking of my happiness when he separated us. I had been angry with him, feeling as though I had done something wrong – perhaps seemed untrustworthy and unreliable in his eyes. I thought that after all I had done to show him that I could take care of them, he doubted me and split us apart. But now… I see that he was worried about me. He knew that I would have never wanted a life for myself outside of their needs and livelihoods. And if he didn’t do what he had, I might have never met you. ”
She gently kneaded his hand with her fingers, looking content and at peace to just be there with him as she continued as softly as she had begun.
“I think our past weighed down on us quite heavily for a long time, and understandably, we lost our way for a little while. What matters now is that we look forward to the future and the new beginnings that will come along with it. I’ve…
I’ve never dreamt that I would have someone to call mine.
And yet, here you are. Just for me, as I am for you.
It will take a while for old habits to die, but as long as we have each other and we consistently try to live our best lives, I think we’ll be just fine. ”
She didn’t sound absolutely sure. She sounded hopeful, as though she were saying a prayer from the depths of her heart, asking that her words be made into reality. And Silas was willing to work as hard as possible to ensure that it all came to pass.
“Thank you for not giving up on me. For loving me and trusting me to love you, too.
Because I do, Agnes. I love you, your courage, your caring nature and your feisty spirit.
I love that you are willing to calmly guide me, as much as you are always ready to argue with me until I come to my senses.
And I want to love you for the rest of our lives. I can't wait to do that.”
She leaned in to kiss him, letting it linger as a soft press of lips for a moment, pulling away with pink cheeks.
“Neither can I.”