Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“Nay…” Theo gasped as he bolted upright.
Heat seared through his left side as if he’d been stabbed all over again. He winced and instantly leaned back, recoiling from the pain.
With each beat of his heart, more pain ricocheted between his ribs. There was no escaping it, no matter which way he shifted.
“Mmm.”
He froze as he glanced down at his feet. A lump lay on the edge of the bed, and for a moment, he couldn’t tell if it was Lavina or Amber.
The darkness was playing tricks on his eyes. If it weren’t for the pain lancing through him every chance it got, he would have thought he was still asleep.
Running his fingers through his hair, he tried to figure out how he had made it back to the keep. The last thing he remembered was driving his blade into Laird Lewis’s chest, snuffing out the last flicker of evil in the man’s eyes.
“Theo… nay, come back to me. Ye cannae leave me here. Dinnae leave me here,” Lavina whimpered.
Theo’s heart ached as he tried to reach for her to comfort her. But he couldn’t touch her. His body refused to move any further, as if in a bid to avoid any more pain.
“Theo…” Lavina breathed.
He loved the fact that she was dreaming of him; he just wished he could change her dream for the better.
“Aye, me love,” he answered, wishing he could stroke her head. He wanted her next to him, not only to comfort her, but so she could also do the same for him. “I’m here.”
She let out a moan and snuggled into the blankets she’d made into a pillow.
“Lavina, me love, please wake up,” Theo cooed, half wanting to let her sleep.
But it pained him far too much to hear her distress. If he could wake her, maybe her nightmares would go away.
“Ye cannae stay asleep all day.”
“But ye’re gone,” she whimpered.
“Nay, me love,” Theo said, raising his voice a bit to rouse her.
Lavina shot up in a flurry of panic. She whipped her head about as if she’d forgotten where she had fallen asleep. It took her a moment to focus on him, but as soon as she did, disbelief flickered across her features.
“Theo?”
“Aye, I’m here,” he answered. Her tears spilled over. “Ye’ll have to come to me. I cannae reach ye.”
Lavina bolted to his side and threw herself at him, showering him with kisses. She cupped his face in her hands and stared at him for just a moment.
For the first time since he could remember, he didn’t mind it.
“Ye had me so worried. How are ye? What can I get ye? I ken ye’re in a lot of pain. Aaron said that if ye were to wake, ye might want some whiskey.”
Theo bobbed his head. Whiskey would dull the pain, but it would make his head foggy. The last thing he wanted was to risk forgetting this moment.
“Aye, that does sound good, but is there a tea I can have instead? I dinnae want to fall asleep right now. I feel as if I’ve slept enough.”
“Well, ye have been out for several days.”
“How many?” Theo asked, his heart lurching.
“Seven,” Lavina murmured, before pressing her hand to his chest and kissing his cheek. “The first few days, we werenae sure ye’d make it.”
“Ye should ken by now that nothing can kill me,” Theo said, despite the pain in every inch of his being. “Doesnae mean it doesnae hurt. But what have I told ye? Life is pain.”
“Aye,” Lavina said, running her fingers through his hair.
He smiled and leaned into the palm of her hand.
“Where’s Amber?” he asked. “Is she safe?”
“She’s safe and in bed, as well as Maisie. Everyone has been accounted for. We lost a few souls in the tunnels when they collapsed.”
“What about Stephen? Marcus?”
His chest tightened at the thought of losing his man-at-arms and his father figure.
“They were just as gallant as ye would have wanted them to be,” she answered. “Stephen’s outside the door, keepin’ an eye on things. Marcus has been mindin’ Amber and teachin’ her to ride to get her mind off what happened. Ye ken, she’s grown to like ye. I think she’ll want to ken ye’re awake.”
“Then maybe ye can go fetch her for me? If she’s sleepin’ like ye were, then it would be a sin nae to ease her mind,” he said.
“What if I dinnae want to go yet? I fear that if I step out of the room, ye’ll be gone when I enter and this will be nothing but a dream,” she whispered so low that he almost didn’t catch what she was saying.
“This isnae a dream,” he reassured her with a slight chuckle that made his side burn once again.
“That’s what someone in a dream would say,” she muttered, resting her head on his chest.
She was warm against him, and as much as he felt the same way about letting her go, he had to make sure that Amber was well.
“Trust me when I say I’m in too much pain for this to be a dream.”
He grunted when she shifted and dug an elbow into his side. She recoiled instantly and jumped off the cot.
“I’m sorry, I didnae mean to hurt ye,” she gasped, before turning around to get the flask of whiskey and pour him a dram.
“I’m fine,” Theo said through clenched teeth. “Or at least I will be.”
“I’ll go fetch Amber for ye,” she added, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
The sight made Theo’s heart flutter with anxiety. He wanted to pull her close and whisper her sweet nothings in her ear. How he wished he could scrape the words off his tongue as easily as he scrapes honey off the comb.
“Lavina…” he trailed off.
She stared at him with expectant eyes.
“Aye?” she prompted, her breath hitching as if his words could save her from falling off a cliff.
“If she’s sleepin’, just let her be. I dinnae want to pull her from a good dream, ye ken?” Theo said.
He wanted to kick himself. Those weren’t the words he wanted to say to her. They weren’t even close. But no matter what he did, the three little words he knew she was waiting to hear refused to come out. Not that they couldn’t, but for the life of him, he couldn’t force them out.
“Of course,” Lavina answered, a clear hint of disappointment in her tone.
Theo pursed his lips, resisting the urge to slap a hand on his brow as he watched her leave the room.
I love ye.
He mouthed the words to the empty room. He wanted Lavina to be there to hear them, but they certainly weren’t words he could just toss about haphazardly.
But how was he going to tell her? He had to make it into something she wasn’t going to forget. He turned over several ideas in his mind as he watched the fire pop and crackle in the grate.
“Pa?” a tender voice suddenly called through the dark silence.
He turned to the door to the infirmary just as Lavina entered the room with a very sleepy Amber in her arms.
“See? What did I tell ye? I told ye he was awake,” Lavina murmured.
Amber flashed him a sheepish grin that reminded him of something he would give to his parents.
It took her a moment to focus before joy overtook her.
She scrambled out of Lavina’s arms and climbed up into the cot next to Theo.
She snuggled into the crook of his arm just under his chin, and let out a contented sigh.
“Pa,” she mumbled, her little eyes fluttering shut.
“I found her awake in bed with her doll staring at the beams of the ceiling. What did I say? I kenned she’d want to see ye,” Lavina said, stroking the girl’s hair.
“Hush now, wee lass. All is well,” Theo soothed.
His heart swelled with a joy he couldn’t express.
Amber filled a hole that he hadn’t even known he needed filled. She was his kin, his blood, and the legacy he would leave behind.
“I dinnae think ye’ll be able to peel her off ye from now on.” Lavina chuckled as she pulled the chair from the foot of the bed to the side.
“Maybe nae. But honestly, there are worse things that can stick to ye,” Theo said as he leaned down and kissed the top of Amber’s head.
“I suppose there are,” Lavina agreed.
Theo noticed the way her shoulders slumped.
“What’s the matter?” he asked in a low voice, trying not to disturb Amber as she slept on him.
The sadness clinging to Lavina was intolerable. He had to rid her of it.
“Nothing,” she answered, wiping her tears away. “I’m just really grateful for everything ye’ve done. Nae just for me and Maisie, but for Amber and the whole clan. Takin’ out Micah couldnae have been an easy task.”
“It was the only way to keep me word to ye. He couldnae be allowed to live. If ye were to ask me to do it again, I would. Ye’re me family now, Lavina. Ye and Maisie. I swore I’d care for ye, and I have. Yer sister is free from Micah. As are ye.”
“There’s nothing I could do to repay ye for what ye’ve done,” she said.
“Ye can keep yer word,” Theo answered, fighting back the three words he knew she wanted to hear.
It wasn’t the time. He wouldn’t tell her, not until it came out in a flurry of emotion. Not when she was in tears and he was barely clinging to life.
Lavina bobbed her head and smiled at him. “I will do what I can, Me Laird.”
He smiled back, and his heart swelled to three times its size.
This was what he had been missing his whole life. And as Lavina rested on the edge of the bed beside him, he looked down at Amber.
This was his family to protect, and protect he had and would continue to for as long as he drew breath.