Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
A rkin leaves me alone after that. Days pass. He doesn’t even look at me at home anymore, as if I’m invisible to him. I thought it was what I wanted, but now I’m checking my phone for messages and sneaking glances at him whenever we’re in the same room. I tell myself I feel this way because of the guilt that’s festered since I rejected him that first day at college.
Still, I avoid him because it’s easier than acknowledging that my heart skips a beat when he enters the room or how my chest tightens with anticipation.
I’m strutting down the bustling hallway between classes with my friends when I become aware of a ruckus ahead. Students step aside for us like they always do, and my heart explodes in my chest at the site of Arkin and Jones.
Jones is a stocky rugby player and a bully. I don’t know him that well because we run in different circles, but he’s known to be an arse. A guy who never left fucking high school.
He crowds Arkin against the wall, flashing a look that says he enjoys bigging himself up and being “the man.”
Arkin isn’t small by any means, but he looks it now, his sky-blue eyes scanning the gathered crowds until they lock on me.
I ignore him, swinging my arm around Amy. But my heart squeezes, and my jaw clenches. Eyes forward. Jones is a dick, but he isn’t my issue.
“Hey, isn’t that the charity case?” Ryan asks.
Let’s be real for a second - students are messed with every day. We’re not Samaritans. Seeing a guy hassled by Jones is nothing unusual.
Even so, I feel fucking terrible as we pass. But I don’t speak up, and I don’t put a stop to it. I don’t even glance in Arkin’s direction again because he’s no one to me… Just a guy who sleeps in my room.
A lie.
A lie I’ll keep telling myself until it feels like the truth.
Behind me, the crowds burst out in laughter as Jones slams Arkin against the wall.
Steeling my heart, I shove the guilt far down with all my other emotional bullshit. Arkin is not my problem.
Before we reach the cafeteria, Amy pulls me toward an empty lecture hall with a flirtatious smile. “Let’s have a little fun first.”
We’re almost at the door when I rip my hand free. The last thing I want is to have sex when my gut churns like this.
Honestly, my half-digested breakfast is about to make a reappearance any second now if I don’t put a lid on the nauseating guilt. Good luck getting me hard.
Amy can’t take a damn hint, though, and tries to pull me down for a kiss out here in the hallway, whispering, “I want you, Zach.”
Yeah, that’s not happening.
Unwinding her hands from around my neck, I create space between us. “I’m not in the mood.”
She scoffs, not knowing if she should laugh or cry. “Are you serious?”
Harrison and Ryan have left. It’s just us, except for random strangers.
“Dead serious,” I mutter, trying to leave, but she catches up in her tall heels.
“That’s the third time you’ve turned me down this week.”
“So?”
“So?” She laughs bitterly.
She pulls me to a stop and crosses her arms over her chest, causing her tits to pop in her low-cut flowery dress. “Do you know who I am, baby?”
“Is that a trick question?”
She’s not impressed by my sarcasm and glides her tongue over her front teeth while she cocks a brow. “I’m the most popular girl here. Don’t play stupid, Zach. Rich, popular girls like me date popular boys like you. That’s how this works in every romance story known to man.”
I’ve always thought her ego was a bit inflated, but she cements it now when she throws her arm out and hisses, “Every guy in this damn building would sacrifice a nut to fuck me, and you say no.” She eyes me up and down. “Are you gay?”
I rear back. “What?? No. Fuck no!”
If anything, she narrows her eyes.
“I’m not gay,” I respond, sounding as exasperated as I feel. “I’m not fucking gay, okay. You know I’m not. I’m just… not in the mood.”
If I thought her eyebrow couldn’t rise any higher, I was wrong.
While my girlfriend—who I sort of started fucking out of boredom—stares me down like I’m a Cluedo mystery she wants to solve, my sister walks by, mouthing something that looks a lot like “Evil queen bee.”
My lips commit treason, twitching in response.
The timing would almost be funny if I weren’t sticking my dick in one of the most high-maintenance, irate women within a ten-mile radius. The same woman who put me on a two-week sex ban because the flowers I got her for Valentine’s this year weren’t expensive enough.
As if to prove my point, Amy stomps her foot with a frustrated screech, smacking me in the face with her ponytail as she turns on her tall heels. “Screw you, Zach.”
She storms away, hips swaying like she’s on a runway, while the guys in the hallway salivate over her shapely legs.
Meanwhile, I rub the space between my brows, muttering, “Real smooth, Zach. Real fucking smooth.”
“Where the fuck is he?” I grumble, checking the time on my phone again.
“Have you tried contacting him?” Neriah asks before she takes a swig of Fanta and leans back against my car with her book in her hand.
“I’ve messaged him.” The text remains unopened, and I tap my phone on my open palm. Where could he be? Mum would have let me know if he had a meeting or something.
After sending him another message, I rest my foot against the vehicle behind me.
We wait, but the message remains unread.
I try again, frowning, typing almost aggressively while growing more agitated by the second.
Where is he? He could have messaged me out of courtesy if he was running late. I don’t have all day to wait out here.
I’m heading to my friends’ place after dropping my sister and Arkin off at home. We need to head off. I have somewhere to be.
Fed up, I push off the car and tell my sister to wait while I search for him.
She shrugs and mutters, “Whatever,” as a gentle breeze rustles the page she’s reading. Smoothing it out with her hand, she ignores the lock of hair falling over her eyes.
The hallways are almost empty now most students have left. I’m poking my head into every classroom, wondering if Arkin has left already, when I hear moaning coming from around the corner.
My steps falter. There’s no one around… just me.
Sneaking closer, I listen for a moment, back pressed to the wall outside the room.
A muffled “Fuck” hits my ears as I carefully pull down on the handle to peek inside. What greets me has my blood boiling, and I rip open the door, storming inside like a damn hurricane.
Spread eagle on the tutor’s desk, Amy spots me first and shrieks. She tries to shove Arkin off her, but he keeps pounding her pussy, fully fucking dressed. His black jeans are halfway down his thighs, while my girlfriend is as naked as the day she was born.
I pick up her white lace bra on one of the seats and stare at it.
Is this for fucking real? Are they for fucking real?
As I collect her panties off the floor, I question who I’m the angriest at. Her for cheating on me? Or him for fucking my girl?
For fucking anyone… period.
Tossing Amy’s underwear aside, I see red as I tear up the few steps to the desk. They’re standing now. Amy darts past me to find her clothes, but Arkin… Arkin stares me straight in the eye with a blank, somehow intense expression, and it dawns on me as I ram my fist into his face that he wanted to hurt me. To get back at me.
“You fucked my girlfriend?” I punch him again, barely noticing the explosive pain in my knuckles when they connect with his jaw. I charge him, and we crash to the floor.
“Zach!” Amy shouts behind me, tears streaming as she clutches her dress to her chest, but my fury isn’t directed at her. I couldn’t give a shit about her or who she spreads her legs for.
She can go ahead and screw the entire football team if she wants—why not indulge in a gangbang while she’s at it—but she can’t have Arkin.
No one can.
But I still pretend like I care, spouting stupid shit like, “You touched my girl!”
I punch him in the side because purging this putrid jealousy feels good, but it’s not enough. Nothing is. No matter how many punches I serve, I still can’t get the picture of him on top of her out of my damn head.
I bet he liked it. Amy feels good. Fuck, I know. I’ve dicked her down enough times to know just how tight she is, and how her pussy squeezes you so damn good when she’s close.
Dammit.
I scramble away from Arkin, panting hard, possibly fucking crying—I don’t know—and he climbs to his feet and wipes the fresh blood off his chin.
Amy tries to pull on my arm. She’s dressed now, I think, but I can’t be sure because I don’t look away from the quiet guy in front of me, who drove me to this point.
I’m on the fucking brink of despair because of him. I’ve lost my shit… because of him. My heart is bleeding because of him.
“I’m sorry, baby. It’s not what it looks like. Let’s talk about this somewhere else, okay.”
Her softly spoken words slowly register, and my brows pinch before I spin around with a strangled sort of laugh.
Oh, this is rich, even for her.
“It’s not what it looks like?” I ask. “Are you sure? He had his dick in you.”
She swallows. “Baby… I love you. You’re the one I want. I was feeling lonely, and I didn’t mean for?—”
Oh yeah, she didn’t mean for it to happen, did she? She didn’t mean to lose her clothes and fall onto the tutor’s desk naked. Arkin just happened to be there with his cock out.
“For what?” I cross my arms. “What didn’t you mean for? Me to walk in?”
She tears up, her chin trembling. “Please, forgive me. I’ll do anything.”
I look her up and down, taking in her tangled hair, smeared lipstick, and the hickey on her collarbone that has nothing to do with me. A hickey the silent boy in my room left on her skin.
My jaw aches because I clench it so hard. But it’s the tightness in my chest I refuse to focus on. “We’re over.”
She gasps, teetering in her heels and wiping her wet cheeks. “Don’t say that, baby.”
Tired. That’s what I am now. Fucking exhausted. I just want Amy gone. From the room. From my life.
I point to the door. “Go home.”
She opens her mouth to spew more bullshit, but I shout, “GO HOME!”
Flinching away from the harsh command in my voice, she quickly picks up her bag from somewhere and leaves us alone. The open door taunts me. If only there were a way to turn off my emotions, like the radio in my car. Just flick a fucking switch. But there’s not. And it hurts.
“Enjoy the walk home, bro.” My voice is quiet, emotionless.
Arkin approaches me from behind, but I shake my head once. No, don’t come near me… Not now. Walking out, I slam the big door shut behind me.
Neriah looks up from her book when I cross the parking lot. “Where’s Arkin?”
“Don’t know. Couldn’t find him,” I mutter.
She looks at me questioningly on my way past, but I’m not in the mood for a conversation, so I rip open the door before sliding in behind the wheel and shoving the key into the ignition. The car rumbles to life, and I rev the engine to tell her to hurry the fuck up.
With a disapproving look, she throws her bag into the backseat before she joins me in the front. “I don’t know what crawled up your arse, but you’re a wanker. You know that, right?”
Accelerating out of the parking lot and merging with the traffic on the main road, I ignore her while she tries to find a song she likes on the stereo.
“Slow Down” by Chase Atlantic fills the car, and I rest my elbow on the window frame, rubbing my temple, but I’m so damn irritated, I’m almost ready to pull over and beat the shit out of something.
In fact, ten minutes later, that’s exactly what I do.
Jerking the wheel to the left, I slam on the brakes at the side of the road and throw open the door.
Neriah, who’d been drinking her fizzy drink, curses when it spills on her clothes, but I’m already outside, kicking the living daylight out of a rubbish bin.
She exits the car and stares at me over the roof like I’ve lost my mind.
Newsflash: I have. This is the lowest point of my fucking life.
“FUCK YOU!” I shout, ramming my shoe into the bin again, and it knocks over and rolls on the ground.
I’m not done.
Another hard kick sends rubbish flying everywhere and I bend down to pick up the bin, hauling it down the path.
Breathing hard, I lock eyes with my sister, who takes another long sip of her drink while she watches me calmly as if it’s common practice to see her brother beat the shit out of random objects.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I grumble, and she gives me a look that says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“What did the bin ever do to you?” she asks as she rests her forearms on the car roof.
A reluctant smile tugs at my lips, and she matches it before she pops a shoulder. “Told you the evil queen bee wasn’t worth it.”
Glancing down the length of the road at the passing vehicles, I work my jaw… It’s not like I can tell her that my outrage isn’t about Amy. Right now, I kind of wish a girl was behind this outburst.
It sure would be easier. At least I could talk about it.
I drop my head back with a heavy sigh and dig my fingers into my eyeballs.
The sad truth is, Amy could never drag these raw emotions out of me, and that’s fucking terrifying. I don’t recognize myself anymore. Honestly, I never knew I had all this rage inside me.
Warm arms wrap around me, and I drop my hands, holding them out by my side. “What are you doing?”
“I’m hugging you.” She peers up at me, chin on my chest. “Is that so weird?”
“A little, yeah.” My chest burns, but it feels good too. Like she’s putting a plaster over the gaping wound on my chest, one of those my mum would give me as a kid with dinosaurs or zoo animals. It’ll never hold, but I’ll take it for now.
She laughs softly and buries her cheek in my chest. “I don’t know why you’re so angry, Zach. I’m here if you want to talk.”
I hug her back, the tension easing a little in my shoulders. “I’ll never live it down if any of my teammates drive past and see this.”
“Eh, screw them.”
Chuckling, I untangle myself. “Come on, let’s get you home.”
Thanks to my sister, I feel slightly calmer when I slide in behind the steering wheel.
I reach over to ruffle her hair, but she sees it coming and bats me off.
“Stop that, you big oaf,” she laughs, and I smile again as we rejoin the traffic.