Chapter Thirty-Five
When she woke up, it took Anastasia a few moments to realize where she was. She recognized the arms wrapped around her and relaxed into Laurence’s warm embrace, feeling safe with him so close.
But the room was one she had never slept in before: Laurence’s room. They had always slept together in her bedchamber, with him leaving to return to his own room in the beginning. But he had never brought her here.
She barely remembered arriving home, though she vaguely recalled him carrying her from the carriage and up the stairs. She supposed his room was closer, and so it made sense for them to sleep there.
As he slumbered, her mind wandered back to the events of the previous day: the fear she had felt, the horror at what Brett might do, and the fact that it had been Oliver, in the end, who had saved them both from him.
She couldn’t forgive Oliver for everything he had done…but perhaps they could start again. Perhaps the brother she had seen glimpses of over the years—the brother she loved—was still there.
She wanted to look at Laurence’s face, but she didn’t dare move in case she woke him.
She brought it to mind easily anyway: his rich brown eyes, his thick, dark hair.
He had risked his life for her, and her heart felt full in the knowledge that however they had begun, he did care for her.
Her hand moved to her stomach. And he would care for their child, she was sure.
“Good morning,” he said in a low, raspy voice, then cleared his throat before pressing a kiss to her shoulder. “Have you been awake long?”
She shook her head and wriggled in his arms until she was facing him.
“Not long. Although I was a little confused about where I was…”
Concern furrowed his brow. “Perhaps you would have preferred to sleep alone, in your own chamber. I was not very thoughtful—”
“This is where I want to be. I’ve just never slept here before.” She ran a finger down the bridge of his nose, easing away the frown line on his forehead. “Can we really leave for the countryside today?”
He smiled at her and nodded. “Of course. You should have told me you didn’t want to stay in the city.”
She cocked her head to one side and smiled at him ruefully. “So should you.”
“That’s true, I suppose. And while we’re on the topic of things we should have said…”
Anastasia’s heart leapt into her throat.
What did he need to tell her that he hadn’t already?
She felt happy and safe and content in the knowledge that they were to move to the countryside, where they would have this child—and hopefully many more.
She only hoped he would not have something to say that would ruin it all.
“Anastasia, I should have told you this before, but I don’t quite know when I realized it. I love you. I would do anything to make you happy. Anything at all. I am yours—heart, body, and soul.”
Joy overwhelmed her, and for a moment she could not speak. He loved her. He loved her—and he would do anything for her.
“I love you too,” she finally managed to choke out, and the surprise on his face almost made her laugh.
She had thought that the feelings growing inside her must have been plain on her face, but apparently not.
Before she could repeat the words, he pressed his lips to hers and kissed her until she was breathless.
“We can start again, Anastasia. Start in the countryside with a marriage based on love and trust and honesty.”
Anastasia ducked her head. “I’m sorry I lied to you. About the pawnshop, about the money…”
“It doesn’t matter now. But in future, I want us not to hide things, not to be quiet about what will make us happy. Like living in the countryside, like…”
Anastasia took a deep breath. “I am happy, Laurence. Happier than you could ever know, knowing that you feel the same way I do about you. But there has been one thing bothering me…”
“Then tell me, my love, because I don’t want anything to upset you.”
Her face grew red at the words she must speak—but he was right. They could start again, with a marriage based on love and honesty. She didn’t need to worry about where he was or how he felt.
“I know before we were married, you had a certain…reputation. And when we were not in love, our marriage perhaps did not preclude… But maybe now, in the countryside, it will be easier…”
Laurence frowned. “I’m lost. I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
Anastasia swallowed and forced the words out.
“I would be happier if…if you no longer had any mistresses. If it was just me and you.” She felt like she was asking too much, like no one could ever care so much for her as to promise to be faithful and true.
But he had said he loved her, and he had said he would do anything.
And that was all she wanted.
He laughed, and the sting of it made her pull back slightly, putting some space between them. If he said no, it would hurt—but laughing at her wishes? That was almost worse.
“If you cannot—”
“No, it’s not that. Anastasia—I may not have been in love with you from the day we wed. But I have been faithful. There has been no other woman but you since I put that ring on your finger, and I promise there will be no one else while you walk this earth.”
*
All this time she had thought he was seeing other women—when in fact, he had only wanted her. One request, and it was so simple for him to fulfill. It almost didn’t seem fair that he should get such happiness without paying a greater price.
“While we are being honest with one another,” Anastasia said, biting her bottom lip.
Laurence’s heart began to pound. What did she need to tell him that he didn’t already know? They had found such happiness, that it seemed terrifying to him to risk it.
And yet he wanted honesty, just as he wanted love.
She reached out and took his hands and placed one upon her belly. “I am carrying your child.”
His eyes widened, and his hand did not move from the slight curve of her stomach. “Are you sure?” he asked.
“As sure as I can be. It is not something I know an awful lot about. But I have not… I have not bled now in three months.”
“We’re to have a baby,” he said, the smile growing upon his face.
“I know how important it is for you to have an heir, but of course I do not know whether this will be a boy… But if it is not, we can try again, and…”
He took her hands in his and pressed them to his lips.
“Anastasia. Anastasia. I will love our child whether it is a son or a daughter. I promise you that. Yes, I need an heir—but more than that, I need you. I never expected to want a wife, even if I needed one—but now I know you are the wife I needed all along, because I want you. Here in London, in the country, in my bed, in yours, in every aspect of my life—for as long as we both shall live. And however many children we are given, I will love them equally. I will love them, and you, with all my heart.”