Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
With the help of her new personal maid, Marina changed into a modest evening dress. She noticed that the maid did not tighten her corset nearly tight enough.
“His Grace’s orders, Your Grace,” the maid said. “Until you are back to your usual self. Due to a tight corset causing your illness yesterday.”
Marina flushed, remembering. She had barely been able to breathe in that thing, but her mother had insisted on lacing it as tight as possible, until Marina was sure her ribs were going to crack. “A slightly loose corset does not bother me,” she said. “I certainly prefer breathing myself.”
The woman smiled shyly, but did not seem to know how to respond. “I shall leave you be, Your Grace,” she said, curtsying. “His Grace is waiting for you in the dining room.” The maid left, quickly, and Marina felt a pang of homesickness as intense as it was sudden.
She did not miss Shirley Manor, per se, but she missed her sisters and the close camaraderie they had all shared with each other. At the moment, Pemberton Manor felt downright cold and isolated.
I shall have to visit them soon. After all, Evan told me I could go where I please, and I plan to take him up on that.
Marina made her way downstairs. A servant directed her to the dining room, where she found Evan waiting alone at the table. She looked around, looking for his daughter. “Is Lilly not joining us?” she asked.
“She eats in the nursery,” he replied.
She frowned. How was she supposed to grow closer to the little girl if she did not eat with them for dinner? Come to think of it, why am I here at all if Lilly isn’t here? I thought we were to be strangers except when it came to her.
Marina kept her questions to herself for the time being and sat down at the table. Servants came forward to serve them food—a hearty stew and homemade bread. The aromas smelled delicious to her.
She glanced up at Evan, who was watching her intently. She blushed and looked back down at her food. “Thank—”
“You should eat first,” he interrupted, picking up his soup spoon.
“The physician said you needed to eat, after all. According to the cook, this stew is one of the best ways to help you regain strength, and I trust her judgment, so I would rather you eat it as soon as possible. We can talk afterward.”
Marina nodded and picked up her own spoon. The pleasant aroma from the stew was making her stomach rumble, so she was happy to comply. Evan watched her while she ate, and he only looked satisfied when her bowl was scraped clean.
She broke the silence to talk again. “Thank you, Your Grace,” she said. “For your part in helping me recover.”
“We are married,” he said. “You can call me by my first name. And you do not have to thank me. All I did was summon the physician. Your maid is the one who tended to you.”
Marina nodded, not really surprised by that.
“I am pleased to see you are awake and looking better,” Evan continued.
“The physician said to eat as much as you can, so I hope this stew agrees with you. I have also been keeping your sisters updated on your condition, but I am sure they will want to hear from you personally as soon as you are able to write to them.”
“Thank you, Y—Evan.” His name sounded strange. Maybe it would be best to just avoid addressing him by name at all.
Judging by his slightly unsettled expression, it looked like he agreed.
“Forgive me,” Marina whispered, feeling herself blush.
His brow furrowed. “There is nothing to forgive.”
They were silent for a moment or two, although it felt like three years to Marina. Finally, Evan broke the silence. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I beg your pardon?” She looked up at him, confused.
His expression was intense as he studied her. She had to resist the urge to squirm under his gaze. “You were not feeling well at all yesterday. Why didn’t you say anything?”
Agitation rose inside of her. Was he accusing her of something, or did she just imagine such a tone in his voice?
She put down her spoon and crossed her arms protectively over her chest. “I obviously did not think I was going to faint in the chapel! Why would I call attention to myself unnecessarily?”
“Because you were unwell,” he said. “You should have told someone.”
She gritted her teeth. “I thought I could get through a short ceremony without causing a scene.”
“You thought wrong.”
“I did not mean to do it!” she snapped. “Did you think I fainted on purpose for dramatic effect?”
His brow furrowed. “Of course not. I just wish you had told me. Perhaps we could have prevented you from fainting in the first place.”
Her skin felt hot all over. She was not used to someone giving her so much attention for so long, and all she wanted to do was disappear. Why does he care? Does he not want me invisible?
“Perhaps you just accept my gratitude and let us be done with it,” Marina said.
“You took great care to help me, and I appreciate that. But we should discuss it no further. You have already made it clear that we are not to have a conventional marriage, so I do not see why I should have to tell you if my corset is a little too tight, or if I did not feel like eating breakfast in the morning.”
His expression hardened, and for a moment, she was sure he was going to continue to argue.
Then his expression relaxed into its neutral mask again.
“Of course,” he said, his voice terse. “You are right. We are simply raising a child together while living separate lives. There is no need to make things complicated.”
He took a sip of water as he watched her. He could not quite mask his expression of distaste. She doubted his look had anything to do with the quality of the water.
“I will take care not to faint again,” she offered. “So you do not have to worry about that.”
“See that you do,” he said. He leaned back in his chair. “Now that you are up and about, it is time to lay down some ground rules to make our coexistence as smooth as possible.”
Marina cringed a little at the cold phrasing.
He made it sound like an unpleasant business arrangement.
She steeled herself for the conversation by taking another bite of stew, letting the flavorful herb fortify and comfort her.
“All right. You tell me yours. And I will tell you mine, if I have any to add.”
He raised an eyebrow at this, but then reluctantly nodded. “Your primary purpose as lady of the house is to be Lilly’s mother,” he said. “She has a nanny who can assist you, but no governess. I have a difficult enough time retaining trusted nannies, let alone someone entrusted with her education.”
It came as no shock to Marina that he took matters like the people looking after his daughter very seriously.
I am sure it would be difficult to find a governess to measure up to the standards he holds.
It’s a wonder that he trusts me so much with his daughter so quickly.
In a way, she felt honored to have his trust in that regard.
Evan kept speaking. “I have already given her a strict schedule outlining her study times and her free time, where she is to either be taking walks in the gardens, or working on her sampler. You are to supervise her at all times. Make sure she is on task. I expect regular updates on her progress in her studies.”
Marina gritted her teeth at the thought of such a rigorous existence, but she let him speak. She was sure she would have plenty to say when all was said and done.
Satisfied that she was not going to interrupt, Evan continued.
“Lilly is a very sensitive girl. After … last year … that sensitivity only increased. But it should not be encouraged. Under no circumstances should you be sentimental with her or lenient with her. She needs structure, routine, stability. Perhaps with time that will stop …” he looked away for a moment, as if he caught himself from divulging a sensitive secret.
“If her routine is the same every day, then she will know what to expect,” he said softly.
“She will find safety in that routine. Do you have any questions?”
“Just one,” Marina said crisply. “When exactly is she allowed to be a child?”
Evan frowned. “She is five years old. Of course, she is a child.”
“All of her time is to be spent studying, taking walks, or working on an embroidery sampler?” She looked at him indignantly. “When is she allowed to play? When does she see her friends?”
“Prince William is her only friend, and she sees him every night,” he said. “They play fetch while she takes walks around the garden.”
Marina looked at him with exasperation. “Prince William is a dog. She needs human friends. Children her own age. Surely some of your neighbors have children that she can play with.”
“I assume some have children,” he said. “I cannot imagine all of them are celibate. But I do not like to think about such vulgar things.”
For a moment, he caught her by surprise so much that she wanted to laugh. She stopped herself at the last moment by biting her lip. “We should find out which of our neighbors have children. Some will be her age. We can arrange playdates for her.”
“Absolutely not,” he said. “Why would she want to play with other children? They are unpredictable.”
“Playing with other children will give her a sense of normalcy and stability. That is what you want for her, isn’t it?”
“Of course it is,” he said, looking faintly annoyed. “I just told you that children can be unpredictable. They could be cruel to her. Besides, I do not want her to leave the manor. She’s safe here.”
Even though he had done his best to keep his voice in a near-monotone, Marina picked up on his anxiety about his daughter. Of course, he’s worried about her. He’s already shown so much concern for me. I cannot imagine how much concern he would have for someone he actually loves.
She took a deep breath and continued to talk in a gentler tone. “I know you care for Lilly. We both want to see her happy and thriving. Do you agree?”