Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Evan tried not to let Marina’s words bother him as the carriage arrived at Sherwood Manor. She had not meant them cruelly, after all. But they stung all the same.
Sacrificial lamb.
The thought left a bad taste in his mouth. Of course, she thought it was a sacrifice to marry me. She loves so fiercely—to the point of jumping into a river to save a little dog. Of course, she felt like she was sacrificing something by marrying someone called the Heartless Duke.
He might have originally married Marina to skip the courting process.
But he knew, even if he carefully courted every eligible lady in England, he would have chosen Marina all over again.
But would she have chosen him if she had the choice?
She might not be as much of a romantic as her older sister, but did she regret that she never got to marry for love?
Lilly’s mother had once told him that his only saving grace as a husband was his title and his wealth. He doubted Marina thought so harshly of him. But that didn’t mean she loved him the way he …
He deliberately shoved those thoughts aside and focused on the ballroom as they were announced.
He did not know if he … loved her. Cared for her, yes.
He found he wanted to spend every waking moment being close to her.
He wanted to make her smile and laugh, and he wanted to show her how much he respected her.
But he did not know if that meant he was in love.
So, it was best not to let such thoughts run away from him.
Unease rippled through him as he led Marina into the ballroom.
He never liked these events, and he liked them even less after he became one of the prime targets of gossip after his first wife’s death.
But there were many benefits of accepting the occasional invitation.
He could strengthen connections with potential business partners and political allies.
He would also model non-reclusive behavior for Lilly, and strengthen connections to make her first Season easier—although that was a long way off.
But if he were being honest with himself, the reason why he accepted the invitation was that he wanted an excuse to dance with his wife.
He turned to her, about to ask her to dance as the quartet prepared to play a slow waltz. But before he got the word out, Lord Sherwood appeared.
“Your Grace,” he said, bowing to both of them. “I am honored that you were able to make it tonight.”
Marina curtsied. “The honor is ours, Lord Sherwood. You have outdone yourself.” She gestured to the ballroom, filled with light from glittering chandeliers.”
The man smiled pleasantly at her, focusing all of his attention on the duchess. “I admit I approached you with stronger intentions than just welcoming you to the ball. I was hoping you would do me the honor of a dance.”
Jealousy rose up inside of Evan, like a hissing snake. “She cannot,” he said quickly.
Marina and Lord Sherwood both looked at him with surprise, and he realized he had spoken with more than a little anger.
He took a deep breath as he tried to come up with an excuse about why she could not, but he came up short.
It was not like she had already promised the first dance to him, and he did not want to ruin her night.
You are already not Marina’s first choice in husband.
Do not make her regret marrying you. “Forgive me,” he said.
“I will be at the refreshments table.” He bowed awkwardly and walked away before he caused a scene.
He felt Marina staring at him as he left.
From the refreshments table in the corner of the room, he watched Lord Sherwood lead Marina to the dance floor. Jealousy and irritation still coursed through him as he watched the man pull her close for the waltz. Why did he get to dance with her?
The possessiveness coiled tightly inside of him. He wanted to take Marina in his arms and lead her far away, where no other man could touch her or occupy her time and attention.
Instead, he allowed a footman to pour him a glass of wine. He did not bring Marina to a ball only to humiliate her and make a spectacle of himself.
He could not take his eyes off the dancing couple in case Lord Sherwood got too intimate with her, or in case she showed displeasure at dancing with him. But the distance was more than appropriate as they danced, and Marina’s expression was perfectly neutral.
What is wrong with me? I’m acting like a brute, and it is not rational. He had never had to contend with feelings like this. Somehow, he felt more strongly about Marina dancing with another man than he had ever felt about his late wife taking a lover and leaving him.
A random nobleman tried to engage him in conversation. Evan made noncommittal noises in response, but for the life of him, he could not focus on what the man was prattling about, and he also didn’t want to. Luckily, the man did not seem to notice or care that the duke was only pretending to listen.
However, the conversation behind him drew his attention when he heard Marina’s name.
“I thought she was the pariah of her family,” one man was saying.
“Indeed,” said another man. “Lady Shirley always seemed quite reluctant to bring her to the balls with the rest of her family. I am sure she was most relieved when her middle daughter married—and she became the Duchess of Pemberton! Quite surprising.”
“It is odd how that worked out, isn’t it? Yes, the Duke of Pemberton most likely drove his first wife to an early grave—”
Evan’s hand tightened around his glass until his knuckles went white. He could endure any slight directed at himself. Hearing them speak of Marina that way was another matter entirely.
The men behind him continued to gossip. “But even with his reputation, he still would have had his pick of fine ladies. He’s one of the richest men in England, after all, and a duke at that.”
The other man snickered. “Perhaps Her Grace knows some interesting tricks to ensnare a duke. I heard she turned herself into a harlot at Lord Heeway’s engagement party. Surely she has plenty of … knowledge on how to keep a man entertained.”
Anger hit him with full force, so suddenly that he did not know how to contain it.
He whirled around to see the two men who dared to mock Marina laughing to themselves.
Both of them had smug faces, but when one of them spoke again, he knew which one had dared to insult his wife.
He punched him in the nose as hard as he could.
Gasps rang around him as the man crumpled to the ground, holding his nose. Blood seeped out from between his fingers as he glared up at Evan with a touch of fear.
His companion looked at the duke with wide eyes. “Are you mad?” he asked.
“Not another word unless you want to join your friend on the ground,” Evan said through clenched teeth.
He looked around to see that the music had stopped and everyone was staring at him with fear and curiosity. Agitation rose up inside of him. “There’s nothing to see here,” Evan said as his eyes scanned the ballroom. Lord Sherwood was standing by himself on the dancefloor. Where was Marina?
A hand touched his arm, and he flinched back before he looked to see that the hand belonged to Marina. She looked up at him with concern.
“We need to go,” he said.
She nodded in acceptance. They left the ballroom with everyone still staring at them.
Disappointment filled him. He did not regret defending his wife, but he wished he had gotten a chance to dance with Marina first.
Why did I lose such control over my emotions?
Marina stayed quiet until they were in the carriage and on their way home again. Then she spoke. “What happened?”
He didn’t reply. He just looked out the window.
She sighed. “Evan, please talk to me. One moment I’m dancing. The next thing I know, everyone has stopped to stare at you because you punched some poor man—”
“He was a scoundrel, and he deserved worse than what he got,” Evan snarled.
She was quiet for a moment before nodding. “All right. So, you punched some scoundrel, hard enough to knock him to the ground. It looked like you broke his nose, too.”
She did not sound upset, just concerned. Her voice was as gentle as ever. She waited for him to respond, but he did not. “Evan, look at me.”
He glanced at her to see her look of worry.
Pain lanced through him just by looking at her, so he stared out of the window again without saying anything.
What am I supposed to say? I made an ass out of myself tonight.
She has every right to be furious with me, so why is she looking at me with those blasted understanding eyes?
“It is not like you to lose your temper over nothing,” she said. “I am sure you have a good reason for punching him.” She hesitated a moment before saying, “Did he say something about Lilly? Did he suggest that she was not yours?”
He shook his head. “No. Nothing like that.” Thank heavens for that.
If he punched someone over a question of his daughter’s heritage, then he might as well shout to the whole ton that he had questions about it as well.
He was not sure if he had a good reason for getting violent in the middle of the ballroom.
There was never a good reason to lose control of one’s emotions, after all.
But at the same time, he could not bring himself to regret it, not after what that man had said about Marina.
“Talk to me, Evan. Please.”
A lump formed in his throat at the sound of her pleading tone. “I cannot,” he said, forcing the words out. “Not yet.” He did not want to shut her out and ignore her. But he could not talk about it. Not yet.
She nodded in acceptance. “All right. When we get home, then.”
Marina thought the ride from London to their estate took entirely too long, especially when she was waiting for an explanation. Evan looked positively wrecked.
She wished she had just told Lord Sherwood that she had promised her first dance to her husband. It would have been a lie, and maybe it would have confirmed everyone’s suspicions about the Pembertons being antisocial—after all, what couple goes to a ball and only talks and dances with each other?
But she had really wanted to dance with her husband at least once before they had to leave.
Although I am sure the blow was justified, no matter what the ton will think about it.
Evan is not one to go into a blind rage.
Baron Jefferson must have said something truly wicked to get such a reaction out of him.
When they arrived at Pemberton Manor, Carlson opened the door for them. His lips were pursed as they entered. “I take it things did not go to plan,” he said.
“No,” Evan muttered as he strode inside.
The butler looked at Marina questioningly. She gave him an apologetic smile. “I do not know what happened either. But I’ll talk to him.”
The man nodded. “If anyone can get through to him, it will be you, Your Grace.”
She felt fortified by having Carlson’s approval. After all, she knew how close the man was to the duke.
She followed Evan to his room, even as he tried to close the door behind him. He did not stop her as she entered his bed chamber and closed the door behind her. “All right, we are home now,” she said. “Tell me what happened.”
He slouched onto his bed and covered his face with his hands. “What happened is you have broken me.”
That was the last thing she had been expecting. “Me?” She could not believe it. “How could I have broken you?”
“Before marrying you, I had complete control of my emotions,” he said.
“I prided myself on being rational—making the objectively good decision. I did not care what people thought of me, and I suppose I still do not. But because of you, that control is gone, and now I have all of these feelings.” He spat out the word as if it were a nasty one.
Marina sat next to him on the bed. She stayed silent, not wanting to interrupt his tirade now that he was finally allowing himself to speak.
“I do not even know myself anymore,” he said.
“I lose all control of myself because of you. Just one word against you is enough for me to resort to violence.” He looked down at his hand.
“I have never punched someone before, and now I’ve done it in the middle of a ballroom.
” He flexed his hand. “It was more satisfying than I was expecting.”
“Why did you punch him?”
“I do not want to repeat it,” he said, his gaze darkening. “I should not have done it, but I do not regret it. And this is your fault.”
“How is this my fault?”
“You have driven me mad,” he said, his gaze falling to her lips. “I have never wanted anyone the way I want you.”
She sucked in her breath with surprise. But before she could respond, he kissed her. His lips were urgent and rough, almost bruising. Like he had indeed been driven mad with desire.
She melted into the kiss, unable to stop a slight sigh from escaping her lips.
The world around them faded away as she focused on the heat of his lips and his warm scent.
It was easy to forget about everything else when he was kissing her like this.
Perhaps he has driven me mad the way I have done to him.
Urgent knocking on the door had them breaking apart. “Enter,” Evan said brusquely as he stood up.
Carlson opened the door, his expression serious. “Begging pardon for the intrusion, Your Grace. Lady Lilly is missing.”