32. Kate
The weight of Kane’s admission to knowing I’m pregnant has played on repeat in my head for over a week now, not letting me forget the way he said it or the way his words made me feel.
Jagger ducked out of the bathroom seconds afterward, leaving me alone with my mate, staring at him mere feet away, his height nearly as tall as the door frame. He looked too good to be true.
The way my baby slid off his tongue made me weak in the knees.
The heat in his eyes as he stared back made me almost run straight into his arms while a need I didn’t understand pulsed inside me.
But if I’d done that, it could very well set in motion a life where assholery is acceptable when it is not. I certainly don’t want my son or daughter to be raised in an environment where that’s the norm, either. No one should be subjected to that upbringing. I know firsthand how that story plays out, and I will not put my child through it.
But instead of acting like the adult I am and talking with Kane like I should, I’m still ignoring him. I can’t get past wanting to climb onto his lap and punch him in the dick at the same time. I should just do the latter and get it over with. It might make me feel better. Maybe it would cause this tightness in my chest to loosen.
Footsteps on the deck of the porch snap my attention to the cabin door as it opens.
Kane left early this morning after he cooked me breakfast. This morning, he went all out with stacks of pancakes, eggs, and two steaks cooked medium rare. Since I’ve stayed in my wolf form when he’s here, he also plated raw animal meat that I’m confident he hunted before daylight.
I couldn’t ask since I’m still giving him the cold shoulder like a five-year-old.
“How long are you going to make Kane grovel?”
“Is that what he’s doing?” I ask Trez, watching him close the door behind him. He turns to face me, then crosses his arms as he stops on the other end of the couch.
I finish folding the blanket Kane used last night when he slept on the couch, then tossed it on top of the pile with the rest beneath the window.
In the wild, a pack of wolves will snuggle with each other to keep warm in the winter. Wolf shifters aren’t any different. We crave touch from our pack, and when that isn’t available, a soft, warm blanket is about the next best thing. We’re known to hoard them.
“You know that’s what he’s doing. The question is, how long are you planning to draw this out?”
“What are you doing here?” I ask, changing the subject. When I’m ready to speak to Kane, I’ll do so, and it’ll be on my terms. Maybe that’s childish, but frankly, I don’t care.
It’s not even all about Kane. It’s the pack, Annalise and Elijah, an accidental pregnancy, a traitor among us, and I don’t know what to do about any of them.
“I’m not welcome to come hang out with my sister?” He drops his arms to his sides as he sits on the end of the couch arm.
“Can you not?” I ask, huffing out air and gritting my teeth at the same time. “All that does is make the fact that you aren’t my brother more real, which in turn makes me want to rake my claws down someone’s chest.”
“Mine or Kane’s?”
“Richard’s,” I snarl.
“Why do you have to bring up Dick? I thought you said that bitch… I mean, witch, was taking care of him.”
“Maybe.” I sigh. “But I don’t trust her any more than I trust our kidnapper.”
“So, you’ve accepted that we’re Bloodmoon instead of Marked Crest?” He doesn’t allow me time to respond. “That you and Kane are fated mates?”
“It’s hard to ignore you and Jagger being mated when he comes by at least twice a day. Or the hopeful, desperate look on Annalise’s face every time she shows up.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in fate deciding your destiny?”
“Fate can go fuck herself. If I end up with Kane, it’ll be because I decide I want him.”
“We both know you want him, Kate. The other question is, why are you making him sleep on this couch, which, by the way, isn’t that comfortable for someone our size.” He huffs air out through his nostrils to drive his point home like I don’t know exactly how this couch sleeps. It’s okay for a nap. It very much sucks for attempting any real rest.
“I’m not making him do shit. He’s chosen to sleep right here every night.” I point down. “If he wanted to sleep in his bed, then he could have slept at the lodge or kicked me out of his bed here. He’s the alpha, after all.”
“Is he, though?” Before I open my mouth, he continues, like he didn’t just insinuate that I’m Kane’s equal and also an alpha of his pack. I’m not. “We both know Kane isn’t going to kick you out of his bed or either of his houses.”
“Oh, really?” I laugh, but it lacks any humor. “Because you weren’t here when that’s exactly what he did almost three weeks ago.”
“Because he thought he betrayed his mate. You, Kate. He thought he betrayed you and was ashamed of himself.”
“Whose fucking side are you even on? Not mine, apparently,” I add, hearing the saltiness in my tone.
“Stop sulking and mark your goddamn territory already.”
“You mean like you did?” I throw up my hands. “I don’t even know how you didn’t rip out his throat.”
Trez smirks, and I immediately know he’s proud of his mark on his mate.
“Jagger pissed me off, but he also made me so fucking hard it felt like my dick was going to combust. That was the only thing I could do to ebb the pain and ecstasy I was feeling, not to mention my fucking body was so drained from all the Wolfsbane.”
A low rumble bubbles up my throat, the nail beds on my fingers and toes throb, the need to shift and shred flesh so intense and compelling I have to squeeze my fists together and curl my toes to stop my wolf from breaking through.
She needs to run. It’s been too long… but there’s a reason I haven’t left the solace of Kane’s cabin. It’s more than not being ready to face the fact that I’m Annalise and Elijah’s daughter, Jag’s sister, and Kane’s mate. More than not being a Marked Crest wolf.
Kane has a traitor in his pack. It’s why I told him not to tell anyone I was here.
I should have told Kane what happened at the diner by now, but I didn’t know how he’d react or what he’d do about it. Before, when Kane thought I was a shifter from a rival pack and had laid that old fucker on the ground in Ashleigh’s bar, he snatched me around the throat and got in my face like I didn’t have a right to touch one of his wolves when it was Ronnie who’d put his hands on me first.
Back when Trez and I first came here, Dante and Eli made it clear that we couldn’t cause trouble or we wouldn’t be allowed to return. Ronnie is older than Dante, which means he was in the pack back when Kane’s grandfather was alpha. Maybe he has more of a right to be here than I do.
But maybe he shouldn’t have shot me with four tranqs filled with poison, especially after I’d left. For all he knew, I wasn’t coming back. Unless… Kane had him follow me to make sure I left, but I don’t think he did.
It happened so quickly, and although I’ve thought a lot about it, I’m betting Ronnie is the reason Henrik found me.
What did he demand of the Marked Crest beta when I was on my knees? Kill her already. They knew each other, but they would have, I suppose. They’re members of rival packs, after all. Yet, Ronnie didn’t act like he hated Henrik. There was hate in his stare, but it was directed at me.
His hatred from the first day we arrived in Moonwake had always been directed toward me, but I still don’t know why. I’ve never done anything to him. I’ve never even come onto Kane in front of anyone in his pack other than Jagger and Ashleigh.
I thought Ronnie and a few of his friends, his sister even, didn’t like that Kane had a fated mate somewhere in the world, and to their knowledge then, I wasn’t her.
But I am. Even if I haven’t admitted it to Kane, I know now that we’re mates. I feel it deep within my soul. I’ve always felt it. I just didn’t know that was what I was feeling.
A few days ago, Trez told me Ronnie also shot him that same night when Trez was headed here to meet me, and I almost lost it. That’s when I told Trez about the diner incident. He went into more details, telling me they searched for me, but I wasn’t ready to hear any of it. This is the first he’s brought that up since.
“Come to the bonfire fire tonight.” Trez’s comment jerks my eyes to his.
“There’s another one?” I arch an eyebrow.
“There’s one every other night. I guess it’s what they do during the summer months, but this one, everyone will be there. Ashleigh even closed the bar. You can thank me afterward.” He tries to force his lips to remain in a straight line but fails, and a sly smile breaks free.
I cock my head in thought as my mouth opens. “By everyone, you mean?—”
My question is cut off when the door opens, and Jagger steps across the threshold, a backpack slung over his shoulder. His blue eyes land on where I’m standing and flick down my attire and then back to my face.
“She doesn’t look ready to join the festivities.” Jagger purses his lips and crosses his arms before blowing out a dramatic breath.
“I’m not joining anything, and trust me, Jag, you do not want me to come to that bonfire.”
“So you’re going to continue staying here, wearing your jammies?” Before I open my mouth to respond, he holds up his hand. “My bad. Let me rephrase. I meant wearing Kane’s shit even though you don’t want Kane to know you’re wearing his clothes.”
His laugh puts a scowl on my face. My tongue clucks in annoyance.
Wolf shifters are pregnant for a fraction of the time humans are, and frankly, I view that as a plus. I still have at least five, maybe even up to eight weeks left. Humans have to endure pregnancy for forty weeks. No, thank you. I’ve had enough already, and I’m not even big yet. But I finally understand why Annalise brought me multiple pairs of overalls in two different sizes because I wake up every morning to a bigger belly than the previous day.
Maternity leggings are the easiest to slip off, but they’re not my style at all. They itch my stomach, so I’ve been wearing Kane’s boxer briefs and his t-shirts. Unless he’s here, then it’s just black fur, and he gets to listen to my wolf’s low-key growl at him every time he makes a noise.
Okay, maybe I need to go for a long, therapeutic run. It’s undoubtedly overdue. Perhaps it’ll improve my mood, and I’ll finally be more apt to speak to Kane without wanting to unsheathe my claws whenever he’s near. That conversation is overdue at this point too. We probably need to discuss the baby before he or she is born.
“For your information, little sister, he knows.”
“Because you told him, you fucking narc.”
Seriously, is no one on my side?
His lips spread wide across his face before his head shakes rapidly.
“Not me,” he says as his eyes skate over to where Trez sits several feet before him.
“Really?” I ask, turning my stare to Trez.
Ignoring me, Trez twists around to face Jagger, then stands. “My sister needs to go for a run. Why don’t you go with her? I have other shit to take care of.”
“I’ll gladly go for a run with my sister.” Jagger takes a step, closing his distance to Trez. Leaning forward, he says, “And I’ll make sure she shows in a bit too.”
“Good luck with that,” I say despite neither paying any attention to me.
“You better… because it’s getting handled tonight one way or another,” Trez says in a low tone, but with supernatural hearing, I heard him clearly.
I just don’t know what he meant.
Handle what?
Why does my presence even matter?
Trez sidesteps Jagger and is out the door without even telling me bye.
“Can we go already?” Jagger stresses when I stand there silent, looking at him and waiting for him to explain. “With Mom staying at the lodge and my mate refusing to sleep at my house, I’ve eaten my weight in cookies this week. I need this run more than you do, little sister.”
“Why is Annalise staying at the lodge?”
That’s weird. She hasn’t mentioned that, and she’s here within minutes of Kane leaving every morning.
“She’s mad at Dad and refuses to sleep anywhere near him,” he admits.
“Doesn’t that just hurt her too?” I’ve heard fated mates tend to pine for one another when they’re apart for too long. Kane and I haven’t completed the mating bond, but sleeping without him when he’s so close makes my chest ache and my anxiety skyrocket. I’m about to ask him if that’s true when another thought pops into my head. “Wait. Did he make her leave her own house?”
“Of course not. Dad would never do that.”
“Then why didn’t he go sleep somewhere else?”
“He did. He’s been staying at Dante and Becca’s, but since their houses are next to each other, that’s too close for Mom. She knows she’ll give in and isn’t ready to be over it yet.”
“Over what?” He gives me a look like it should be obvious, but it’s not. I grit my teeth. “Tell me, or I’ll make you.”
“I should have never told you about that.” He slips the backpack from his shoulder and tosses it to my end of the couch.
Yesterday, he revealed I’d used alpha power on him the day Kane ordered me to leave his pack and never return. I knew Jagger wasn’t lying to me, so I spent two hours yesterday and nearly another hour today staring in the mirror, trying to spark something. Anything. But nothing happened.
“You’re going to use it against me every time you want your way, aren’t you? You don’t have to be a brat, not when I’m the one who has to live with the fact that my best friend is banging my little sister.”
“First, Kane isn’t banging anyone, not even me. Secondly, you couldn’t care less if Kane bent me over the armrest in front of you right now. We’ve had this convo before, remember?”
A few years ago, just before Kane became alpha and him beta, I asked Jagger if it bothered him that his sister was mated to the one person he was the closest to. He surprised me by saying, not in the least.
“I didn’t care until you put it that way.” He shakes his head like he’s trying to knock the image out. It makes me chuckle until he says, “Just because Kane isn’t fucking anyone, it doesn’t mean there aren’t others trying to get him to.”
“Excuse me? Who,” I seethe.
“Doesn’t matter. I only need you to maul one person tonight, not anyone else. Now,” he jerks his chin upward, “put a change of clothes in the bag, and let’s go run off some calories.”
“Fine, but I’m going to need all my calories and more replaced when we get done.”
“Not a problem. There will be plenty of food and then some waiting on us when we return.” He takes a step back. “I’ll be outside. I’ll leave the door open. Shift in here, please.”
Pulling the door open, he disappears outside while I’m left wondering what he meant.
I only need you to maul one person.
What does that mean, or more over, who does he want me to attack?
And why?
Maybe Jagger knows Trez told me what the old shifter did, and he’s testing me, or Kane’s testing me to see what I’ll do.
That isn’t smart on their part if they’re expecting me not to go for his throat.
Given the chance, that’s exactly what I plan to do. If Kane has an issue with that, then that’s his problem. Ronnie wants to see me dead, and if it’s him or me, then I choose me.
Besides, if I do stay in the Bloodmoon pack, I will not do so while he’s part of it.
I don’t trust him.
He’d kill me or hand me back over to Dick—if he does still have a beating heart, that is.
It’s best if I stay away from that gathering tonight.
But now I’m not so sure I want to.
Even if it’s to see the look on Ronnie’s face.