Chapter 16
They were interrupted by the telephone ringing out in the hall, and Bobby once again noticed the sly glint that so often meant trouble appear in Topsy’s eye.
‘I wonder who that could be,’ Topsy said, with a rather affected nonchalance. ‘Birdy, would you be an angel and answer it? I’m far too comfortable to move.’
Bobby narrowed one eye. ‘What are you up to, Topsy?’
‘Nothing, I swear!’ Topsy said, her eyes wide with performative guilelessness. ‘Please, before it rings off.’
Teddy was grinning too, and even stern Mrs Hobbes seemed to have a smirk at one corner of her mouth. Casting them a suspicious look, Bobby went out to answer the telephone.
‘Hello?’
‘Is that the future Mrs Atherton?’ a familiar voice said.
Bobby clapped a hand to her mouth. ‘Oh my goodness! Charlie!’
‘I’d know that voice anywhere. The most beautiful girl in the world.’
Bobby laughed. ‘I’m sorry, sir, but you must have the wrong number.’
Topsy appeared in the hall now, looking exceptionally pleased with herself.
‘Isn’t it a lovely surprise?’ she said. ‘Charlie said in his last letter that he was being posted on the 7th and I knew you’d be ever so worried about him, so I wired to tell him that if he was able to get to a telephone, he could reach you here at seven p.m. The sewing was only an excuse.’
Bobby beamed at her. ‘Thank you, Topsy.’
It was such a rare treat to be able to speak to one another.
Telephone calls for personal reasons were discouraged in wartime, and it wasn’t easy for either one of them to get to a phone under ordinary circumstances.
Even the work phone at Moorside, which Reg could occasionally and very reluctantly be persuaded to allow Bobby to use for a personal call, had now been disconnected for cost reasons.
Just hearing Charlie’s voice immediately cheered her spirits.
‘I haven’t got long,’ he said. ‘Bob, tell Topsy to make herself scarce and let me have you to myself.’
Topsy understood this without being told, however. She had already disappeared, closing the door behind her so they could have some privacy.
‘Oh, it’s so wonderful to hear your voice,’ Bobby said. ‘I’ve been thinking about you every minute, Charlie. How’s Binbrook?’
‘Pretty good so far. Getting used to the new routine. And I’ve a pal here already.’
‘Who is it?’
‘Young Bram. We’re in the same unit. Perhaps we might even be assigned to the same crew.’
‘I am glad.’ Knowing the young friend Charlie had made at Ryland Moor was with him didn’t make the danger any less, of course, but she at least knew he wasn’t alone among all those new faces.
‘Did you speak to your commanding officer yet?’ she asked.
Charlie laughed. ‘I hadn’t been here an hour before I was hounding our poor Wingco, determined to thrust my official written request into his hand personally.
Once I’ve got his letter of approval, I just have to wait until they can spare me some marriage leave and I’ll be back to Silverdale before you can blink. ’
‘Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer to wait, sweetheart?’ Bobby asked, somewhat hesitantly. ‘Things seem to be changing so quickly for us at the moment. In our lives, I mean.’
‘All the more reason to do it as soon as possible. Something to hold on to while we can’t be together.’
‘Yes, I suppose so.’
‘This isn’t the enthusiastic bride I was hoping for, I have to say.’ Charlie’s words were light but Bobby could sense the worry underpinning them. ‘Nothing’s changed, has it? You can tell me if it has.’
‘I do want to,’ she said, in as reassuring a tone as she could muster. ‘I just don’t want it to be done all in a hurry, and have you go away right after. Everything lately feels like I’m on a speeding train, never knowing where I’m going or what the stops are. Do you know what I mean?’
‘Sounds familiar.’
‘I really don’t want my wedding day to be that way. It would be nice to have a little room to breathe and get used to being married people together, don’t you think? You know, a honeymoon – even if it was only a few days at Moorside.’
‘I want that too, but I don’t intend to wait any longer than I have to. The honeymoon can always come later.’
‘Don’t you worry, Charlie? Don’t you ever think, what if there is no tomorrow?’
‘Every time I get in the cockpit,’ he said quietly. ‘That’s exactly why we ought to relish being alive and loving one another in the today. I need this, Bobby.’
He sounded so earnest, she didn’t have the heart to press the matter.
‘All right,’ she said soothingly. ‘But do try to get at least a few days’ leave, won’t you?’
‘If I can,’ Charlie said. ‘Oh, I wanted to ask. Did you have any news about your Canadian friend?’
Bobby started. ‘News about Ernie?’
‘You said he was missing.’
‘Oh. Yes,’ she said, relieved. For a moment, she had worried some gossip about the two of them might have reached his ears. ‘It was all right, thank God. He was injured and spent a few days in a field hospital, but the doctors say there won’t be permanent damage.’
‘I’m glad to hear it.’
Bobby paused, that moment on the ice once again recurring in her mind – with all its associated guilt.
‘Charlie?’
‘Yes?’
The sound of raucous laughter reminded her that other men were present, probably waiting for their turn to use the telephone, and the time she and Charlie had to speak was limited. The catharsis of confession would have to wait for another day.
‘Never mind. I’ll tell you when I see you.’ She lowered her voice. ‘Any other news?’
Bobby knew they needed to be careful about what they said. The call would be monitored to make sure no sensitive military information was being passed between airmen and civilians. But it didn’t matter; Charlie understood her well enough. She wanted to know when he would start operational flying.
‘It’ll be soon,’ he told her soberly.
‘I thought there was to be four weeks’ operational training before you were assigned front-line duties.’
‘Could be half that or less, since I was flying Wellingtons during service training. There’s a desperate shortage of pilots here.’
‘Oh, Charlie.’
‘I wish I could tell you not to worry, darling,’ he said. ‘I’m worried half to death myself, so I know I can’t expect it to be any different for you. But even so…’
He fell silent. Bobby knew they hadn’t been cut off. She could hear his breathing, slightly ragged, down the line. She waited until he was ready to speak again.
‘Even so,’ he said after a while, ‘I feel… I feel ready, Bobby, you know? It’s such a strange feeling, like there are two different Charlie Athertons.
One is scared out of his wits that he’ll make some dreadful mistake.
Naturally I’m afraid to die – I’m sure any man who says differently is a liar – but if I were to cause the deaths of people I was responsible for, if I had to live with that…
I think that’s my biggest fear. But the other part of me…
it’s hard to describe, but I feel almost euphoric.
’ He sounded feverish, speaking low and fast. ‘I mean it’s strange, you know, to be so scared and yet have this feeling like I’m a kid at Christmas who can’t wait to open his gifts.
When I think about what I’m doing and how much it matters, I feel so proud to be part of it all – proud to think I’m doing it for you and Reggie and Mary, and those two little girls.
Like I’m going out there to…’ He laughed quietly. ‘To save the world.’
‘And so you are.’
Charlie laughed again. ‘Oh Lord, I’ve been gibbering like a madman, haven’t I? You could stop me, you know.’
‘I don’t want to stop you,’ Bobby said softly. ‘I’m incredibly proud of you, Charlie, and I love you so very much. Don’t ever forget that.’
‘Don’t let me forget it. I want two letters a week minimum, Bob, and I want to know absolutely everything. Don’t miss out a thing, d’you hear? I’ll cry if you don’t tell me what you had for breakfast every day, what colour knickers you’re wearing and how much sugar you put in every cup of tea.’
Bobby smiled. ‘Daft lad.’
‘But you love me.’
‘More than I ever did.’
A voice behind Charlie called out that his time on the telephone was up.
‘Sorry, I have to go. There’s a queue of lads behind me waiting for their turn,’ Charlie said. ‘I wish we had longer. Did you decide what to do, darling? About your call-up?’
Bobby was silent for a moment.
‘Yes,’ she said at last. ‘Yes, I think I did.’
When she arrived home, Bobby went straight to her room and took up the postponement form that lay under Charlie’s photograph. She tore it into two halves and put it in the dustbin.