Chapter 34 #2
He must still love her. Perhaps love could peter out if it was neglected, but it didn’t stop all of a sudden, and Charlie had seemed to love her so much. Whatever Mike’s husband David did while his wife was far away, whatever other men did, Bobby felt certain Charlie would be true to her.
She could still remember the way he had held her the last time they had seen one another: the tender, hungry lips he had pressed to hers, and his eagerness – almost his desperation – for their wedding day.
It was inconceivable that his feelings could have changed so suddenly and drastically, or that he would ever stray.
That was what Bobby tried to tell herself. But there was another voice: one that whispered cruel, painful, pitiless things to her when she lay on her hard bunk at night.
Hadn’t he been a flirt when she first met him? Didn’t he have every girl in the village in love with him, once upon a time? Isn’t he a man, with desires and urges like the rest?
But what worried Bobby most wasn’t that Charlie was a man like any other.
It was the thought that he was afraid, far from home, dealing with the daily risk to his own life as well as the constant grief of men he had bonded with being killed in action.
If Bobby was lonely and frightened here in the WAAF, how much worse must it be for Charlie?
It wrung her heart to think of it. He must need love so much, now.
She could imagine how he must long for warm arms around him, and the hushed whisper of a tender voice that comforted and reassured.
How she wished she could give him those things!
But the war had decreed they had to part, and she couldn’t in all honesty say she would blame Charlie if, in his need for comfort, he had found another love.
It would break her heart, but she couldn’t blame him.
She wondered if she should have done what Mike had, and given her blessing for Charlie to seek comfort of the purely physical variety with other women.
War was such a unique situation, where none of the usual rules of romantic relationships seemed to apply.
At least then, she would know his feelings were with her even if his lips were with someone else.
But she couldn’t. The idea of Charlie holding someone the way he held her, all those sensations she had been proud to feel belonged to her alone being stirred by another…
no. She couldn’t bear to think of it, and she was sure Charlie would feel the same about the idea of her with someone else.
Or he would have, when he still cared…
Bobby tried to smother the treacherous thought.
There was no point giving in to such whispers; not until she knew for sure.
She had sent the wire sanctioned by Mulligan to let Charlie know their marriage had been approved and they could officially set the date for the 2nd of May, but had opted not to notify the folk at Moorside until she heard back from her fiancé.
She was sure there would be something from him tomorrow, even if it was a letter breaking things off.
He couldn’t ignore her and hope she disappeared, surely. That just wasn’t Charlie.
Saturdays were half-days, with parade and a route march in the morning but the afternoons free to do as they wished. After they had completed square-bashing around the parade ground, the WAAFs lined up in front of Mulligan.
‘Good morning, ladies,’ the squadron officer greeted them. ‘You will be pleased to hear I have good news for you this glorious sunny Saturday.’
Mulligan didn’t beam – Bobby wasn’t sure she was capable of such a thing – but she did regard them more complacently than she was wont to do.
‘What’s she got planned then?’ Mike murmured.
‘You have now been here nearly two weeks, and have conducted yourselves, I must say, admirably,’ the squadron officer told them.
‘Not a single one of you has been on charge, and you are routinely smart, polite and conscientious, although I know what a shock it can be to leave civilian life and enter a military environment. I am exceptionally proud of you all. I have spoken with Squadron Leader Gardiner and he shares my opinion that you have proven yourselves a credit to the service. Thus we have decided that with today being Saturday, following your route march, we will end the embargo period early. You will all be issued with your post, be free to write to or telephone your families, and this evening the RAF officers have kindly offered to host a dance for all ranks in the NAAFI canteen.’
There was a buzz of excited conversation among the women, and Carol grabbed at Bobby’s arm. No doubt she was thinking of Ernie King, who she hadn’t spoken to since the day of his lecture, although she had apparently spent a lot of time trying to catch his eye in the officers’ mess.
‘Tell you what, she’s not such a bad old stick, is she?’ she whispered to Bobby.
Bobby shrugged, feeling it better to remain non-committal. There was a definite ‘us and them’ between the officers and other ranks, and she didn’t want to cement the view that she had become Mulligan’s pet erk.
‘She has her moments,’ she whispered back.
‘Now, now, ladies, settle down,’ Mulligan said, actually smiling for once. ‘Return to your quarters, please, and prepare for today’s march. Then you will have the remainder of the day to catch up with news from home.’