Chapter 38 #2
‘If you knew the first damn thing about those women’s lives, you’d have more respect for them,’ she said.
‘All you know is that they’re enjoying themselves at a party after two weeks of being locked in, and you condemn them for it.
Why should it be for you to judge? Oh, sorry.
Why should it be for you to judge, sir?’
‘It shouldn’t,’ he said quietly. ‘You’re right and I’m wrong. I was boorish and rude and I consider myself duly chastened. Forgive me and let’s go dance.’
Bobby shook her head. ‘Not tonight. I’m not in a dancing mood.’
‘But you do forgive me?’
She sighed, her anger disappearing as quickly as it had arisen. ‘There’s nothing to forgive, I suppose. I know you and I will never agree about these things.’
‘And you’ll dance with me to prove we’re still friends?’
‘I’d rather not, Ernie.’ She pressed her fingers to her temples. ‘I’m getting a headache. I ought to go to bed.’
‘Come on. Just one, to prove I’m really forgiven, then I’ll walk you back to your hut.’
‘Well… all right. But only this one.’
She stood up and let him lead her to the dance floor.
Bobby had danced with Ernie King many times, but there was something about this dance that made her uncomfortable.
She wasn’t sure why. She had always felt a little guilty about being in Ernie’s arms even though it had felt impolite to refuse, knowing Charlie might be jealous, but as the aching in her chest and the lightness of her wedding finger reminded her, there was no longer any reason to feel guilt.
And there had been no reappearance of what she now thought of as ‘the look’.
Bobby was almost convinced she had imagined the whole occurrence.
Ernie had been kind to her tonight when he’d seen she was upset, and eager to have her company so they could talk over old times, but there had been nothing lover-like in his behaviour.
So why did she feel unsettled? As he wrapped one arm around her waist, took her hand and drew her closer while the sweet, husky notes of Marlene Dietrich singing ‘Falling in Love Again’ played over the gramophone, she felt her body stiffen.
Of course, Ernie noticed this immediately. He was a devil for noticing things, that man.
‘Something wrong, Slacks?’
‘No.’ She summoned a smile. ‘It feels like a long time since I danced with anyone, that’s all.’
‘We’ve done this plenty, haven’t we?’
‘We have.’
‘And I’ve always kept my hands to myself?’
‘Always.’
‘Then relax.’
He was looking into her eyes while he swayed her, smiling, but it wasn’t ‘the look’. Ernie’s eyes sparkled in a way that made her think of the merry, handsome family in the photograph. There was nothing romantic in the way he was regarding her now. Still, Bobby closed her eyes to shut out his face.
She had to ask, no matter how humiliating it felt to do so. If she was going to be stuck on this base with him for another two months, she had to know once and for all what his feelings were.
‘Ernie?’ she whispered.
‘Hmm?’
‘That night, when you fell on the ice…’
He laughed. ‘Oh yeah, you jumped on top of me. You might at least have bought me dinner first.’
Bobby flushed. ‘What I mean is, when I was struggling to get up, and you said… I don’t remember what exactly, but it did feel…’ She drew a deep breath. ‘What I’m trying to ask is, do you… you know, like me?’
Ernie looked puzzled. ‘Sure I do. You’re a swell kid, even if you are a little too fond of telling me off. Why do you have to ask?’
‘I don’t mean…’ Bobby bit her lip, wishing she hadn’t started this conversation. ‘I meant, do you like me? Do you like me… the way you used to like Topsy?’
‘What way was that?’
‘All right, now you’re being deliberately obtuse.’ She glanced at Mike, dancing with her officer conquest nearby. ‘Mike says… she says men and women can’t ever really just be friends. That feelings always show up to complicate matters.’
‘Ah. I get you.’ Ernie smiled, and gave her waist a squeeze.
‘Like I said, you’re a swell kid. I’ve missed you since I left Silverdale.
There are some nights, like tonight, when I’d even go as far as to say you look kinda cute.
But as I told you once before, Slacks: romantically speaking, you’re really not my type. ’
Bobby exhaled with relief. ‘That’s what I thought.’
‘I suppose the gentlemanly thing would be to declare I was passionately in love with you,’ he said, grinning. ‘But then the ladylike thing would have been for you to look at least a little disappointed when I said I wasn’t, and not so darned relieved.’
Bobby flashed him a full smile, letting herself relax. ‘Come on. You’re not going to cry over one lost admirer among so many, are you?’
He glanced at her left hand, resting on his shoulder as they danced. ‘Does that make a difference? Will you tell me what happened, now you know my intentions are pure?’
She allowed her body to rest against his, enjoying the feeling of safety that came from being held by a strong pair of arms when you knew those arms had no ulterior motive.
‘Nothing happened,’ she whispered. ‘That’s just it.
I haven’t had a letter for five weeks, though I know Charlie’s been writing to his family.
I think…’ She swallowed. ‘I think he must have found someone else. I don’t understand how he could have seemed to love me so much and then just stopped, as if those feelings never existed. ’
‘I guessed it must be something like that,’ Ernie said. ‘I’m sorry, kid. You deserve better. I hope you find it.’ He tilted her chin up. ‘Come up with me tomorrow, OK? It’s my last flight before I go on leave. Let me show you this country you love as it looks from the heavens.’
She smiled. ‘I’d like that very much.’