Chapter 6
Chapter Six
“Careful now,” Ironvale whispered out the side of his mouth. “If I did not know any better, I would almost say that you look excited.”
Caspian ignored his best friend, even if he probably should not have done so. He should have listened to what was said, taken heed of his words, and worked to fix himself before it was too late.
“The Duke of Amberhall?” Ironvale continued, taking extreme pleasure in the moment. “Showing anything even closely resembling an emotion like happiness? Surely not.”
Still, Caspian ignored him.
His attention was saved for the end of the aisle, at which his bride-to-be had just appeared.
She did so as if she were the sun appearing from behind a storm cloud.
As if the room itself brightened at her presence.
As if the world stopped turning and all those near were pulled toward her by the sheer weight of her presence.
In a word, she was breathtaking.
The purple gown was the right choice, Caspian decided immediately.
And not just the color, but the way it fit her.
Tight around the body, showing off her ample curves in a way that was almost scandalous.
While loose and flowing past her legs, adding to the impression of her floating as she made her way down the aisle.
As had been happening often the last few days, Caspian was transported back to the moment they had shared when she was trying on gowns. How she had gasped at the touch of his skin. How her body had started to shake. And the feel of her pressed against him.
He swallowed and shook his head, determined not to let her see the confusion wreaking havoc with his subconscious.
Now is not the time to get carried away with such things. Not now. Not ever.
“She is beautiful,” Ironvale continued to whisper as she came closer. “And she doesn’t look nearly as distraught as she might do.”
That, Caspian decided, was one thing to feel relieved for.
He had worried that Lady Thalia might cause a scene. And if not a scene, that her depression would be painfully obvious to anyone watching. That was the last thing he needed…
Thankfully, she managed to control her tempestuous urges, and she walked the aisle with a straight back, a pronounced chin, and calm confidence befitting any bride on her wedding day.
Even her green eyes sparkled in the light, and did he not know any better, he might have guessed that she was excited.
Absurd. Likely, she is just now plotting my demise, which is sure to bring a smile to her face.
When she found Caspian watching her, she raised an eyebrow as if in challenge. He almost smirked at it but worked to hide any emotion. He’d have to work hardder to push back those urges growing inside of him when he remembered the last time they had been together…
“Last chance,” Ironvale continued. “Lock the doors. Make sure she can’t escape.”
“Quiet,” he snapped.
“Only teasing, Amberhall. Only teasing you.”
Caspian was feeling more nervous than he ought to be.
And not about the wedding, or the reception of it by his peers.
What had him trembling ever so slightly was the very real fact that tonight, he and Lady Thalia were going to consummate this marriage.
It had to be done. He hadn’t dreaded it, but he would not allow himself to… anticipate.
In his mind, Caspian tried to separate the amorous from the practical. This was a business transaction, a necessary task that had to be dealt with. While it didn’t have to be odious, there was no reason to make it significant.
Urgh, even I cringe at how formal and sterile I am trying to make it sound. As if that will somehow help.
The truth was that a part of him looked forward to it.
He watched her approach him—the sway of her hips, the bounce of her bosom, the fullness of her lips, and the softness of her skin.
He remembered how she felt against him just last week, he remembered his own reaction to it, and excitement flooded him despite his best efforts.
This marriage needed to be civil. It needed to be cool and emotionless. It needed… it needed… it needed to be exactly the opposite of the scenes playing out in Caspian’s head.
How he would manage such a thing? Caspian did not know. And if he knew his wife even half as well as he thought he did, she wasn’t about to make it easy on him. Not one little bit.
“Congratulations to the two of you!”
“Oh yes, what a beautiful ceremony.”
“I cried my eyes out.”
“The two of you make a very handsome couple. Oh, how happy you are sure to be.”
Caspian was never one for feigning excitement or for letting his guard down to appease those who did. And he wasn’t about to start now.
He was sitting beside his now-wife, his hands folded on his lap under the table, his back stiff, his buttocks sore, and his mind starting to wander from boredom. I do hope we are able to wrap this up shortly.
The ceremony had finished hours ago and as was tradition, a post-ceremony feast was to be held right after.
The location of the feast was Wexford Manor, hosted by Lady Thalia’s brother, an offer of peace as Caspian saw it; putting behind them how this had started, while looking to the future and what it might bring.
There were scores of people gathered in the hall. Most, Caspian knew, as he had invited them. Many, he assumed to be friends of his bride. And every single one wished to congratulate them both as if this was the happiest of occasions and should be celebrated as such.
For that reason, he and Lady Thalia sat at the main table, side by side, suffering through the well-wishers as best they could. But Caspian did not smile once, and neither did his wife for that matter.
“Don’t mind me…” Ironvale was the next to approach them. “But I thought I should pay my respects before I get lost in the masses.”
Caspian snorted. “Too drunk from the free liquor, you mean?”
“Something like that,” he grinned and looked to Lady Thalia. “And Your Grace, might I say, the ceremony was marvelous, and let us pray it is a sign of things to come.” His eyes glimmered with mock-humor and Caspian had to refrain from snapping at him.
“I think we both know that will not be the case,” Lady Thalia said simply. “I am, however, glad to see you.” She smiled pleasantly, the first time she had done so all day. “For I wish to apologize.”
“To me?” Ironvale asked.
“The last time that we spoke, I was rather rude. Please, forgive me.”
If Ironvale was surprised by the apology, that was nothing compared to Caspian. He frowned and looked at his wife as if he did not know her, certain that she was joking, or would double down with a piece of scathing commentary the moment the chance presented itself.
“No need to apologize,” Ironvale assured her. “I am often of the same mood when in the company of your husband.” He winked at Caspian, who was still staring blankly at his wife.
She saw him doing it and raised a questioning eyebrow.
Caspian’s eyes widened and he looked away, and then cursed himself for the reaction.
If there was one thing he was starting to understand about his wife, it was her ability to crack through the walls he had for so long managed to erect around his emotions.
Caspian was not nearly as cold as people thought, nor was he as severe or dispassionate.
What he was, was calculating, and he knew well enough how important it was to be seen a certain way by his peers.
It was like a second skin for him, and he wore it with comfort. Or he did do, until his wife entered the picture.
I need to do better. I need to control myself. No more reacting. No more letting her get to me. Stone-faced, removed, a damn statue is what I need to be around her.
The timing for this declaration could not have been better because once Ironvale walked away, the not-so-happy couple was approached by another cheery lord. Caspian frowned as he saw the man coming, taking note of the cocky smirk on his lips, the sparkle in his eyes, and the humor in his step.
“Here she is,” Lord Northwick crooned as he reached them. “The woman who broke my heart.”
Lady Thalia rolled her eyes. “I was not aware you had one to break.”
Northwick clutched his chest and staggered. “She does it again!”
“Forgive him,” she said to Caspian without looking. “ His Grace has a rather strange sense of humor.”
Caspian hardly heard her because, despite his best efforts, he was glaring daggers at Lord Northwick as if he meant to slit the man’s throat.
Northwick was a known rake, a gambler, and a drunken fool. He was not one who Caspian would ordinarily waste his time with, because men of his type were indeed a waste of time. And while the man was no threat to Caspian, that did not mean his words were not taken as such.
It was a joke, of course, and Lady Thalia’s sharp smile told him as much. And even if it was not, Caspian should not have cared one way or the other. He was not in this for love. He was not in it for passion. What did he care if another man flirted with her?
Apparently, he cared very much.
“I just wished to give you my best,” Northwick was saying. He took Lady Thalia’s hand and gave it another kiss. “And you, Your Grace,” he said to Caspian next. “You are a lucky man.”
Caspian looked coldly upon Northwick, resisting the urge to bare his teeth and snarl.
Thankfully, Northwick left after that, which just opened the table for more well-wishers and busybodies to come through. And through it all, Caspian worked as hard as he could to calm himself, because he still could not fully explain why he had reacted that way to Northwick.
All that was to say, it was a painfully long morning, and one that Caspian was happy to cut short.
“We are leaving,” he told his wife suddenly, pushing back his chair and rising. “Let us be quick about it.”
She frowned at him. “Already? It is still early.”
“Is it?” he said. “By my mind, days have passed since we sat down.”
It took some time for them to leave. Noticeably, when his wife said goodbye to her brother, it was done without so much as a hug, and Caspian could see a hint of annoyance in both her eyes, and her brother’s.
That’s interesting….
Finally, they were free of the manor. Waiting for them on the driveway was their carriage, and Caspian made sure to hold the door open for her. He even went so far as to offer her a hand climbing in… for the sake of appearances.
She did not take it, which almost had him smiling in amusement. He did not smile, of course, aware of the crowds watching.
Once they were inside the carriage and it started to move, a tense silence settled between them.
Caspian was happy with it, and he shuffled to the corner and looked out the window.
It would be some time until they arrived at his estate, and he was more than willing to wait it out in peace and quiet.
Typically, his wife had other ideas.
“May I ask you something?” she said.
He looked at her. “I think you just did.”
She scoffed. “Does it hurt to do? Is that why you work so hard to avoid it?”
Caspian frowned. “Does it… does what hurt?”
“Smiling,” she said flatly. “I do not think that I saw you smile even once today, just as I am sure that nobody else did.”
“I was not aware that I was being so closely monitored.”
“Just a thought,” she said simply. “It is your wedding day, and with all the rumors floating around, it would not have hurt to at least pretend today was not the end of the world. I, at least, did my best.”
“And that is the difference between you and me.” He looked right at her. “I do not care what other people think.”
If that is not the biggest lie I have ever told…
Caspian turned and looked back out the window, able to feel his wife glaring at him in anger. He braced for more commentary, was relieved when she looked away, but was then struck by a strange sense of guilt that he did not expect.
Was he wrong to treat her that way? Did he even care? Caspian knew the right answer, just as he knew that it was not how he felt. This marriage was for life, he and Lady Thalia were set to live that life together, and he knew deep down that it would behoove him to at least try and make peace.
Peace… Caspian almost laughed at the word.
Peace was not possible. He glanced out the corner of his eyes at his wife, noting the glare she still held him in.
A glare that, by his own estimation, was perfectly justified.
What he should have done was apologize, start now at mending their relationship.
But he was aware, too, of how she affected him, and the idea of trying to find a middle ground felt dangerous to do.
Tonight was what mattered, after which, Caspian prayed that things would return to some semblance of normality. He would avoid his wife, she would avoid him, and they would find… peace in wedded matrimony.
Peace would be enough for him. It had to be.