Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
“Oh! Look who it is! I must say, I did not expect to see you here again. Dare I be so bold as to think you came all this way because you enjoy the pleasure of my company?”
Octavia Finch was not who Thalia was looking for, but she was excited to bump into her again, nonetheless.
The librarian had an infectious energy that was hard to ignore, while having the remarkable effect of swatting away any negative thoughts that existed because such things could not possibly survive in the light that exuded from her.
“That is entirely too bold of you,” Thalia said with a warm smile. “As much as I enjoyed drinking tea with you last week, it was not that enjoyable that I would trip all the way into London again for such a thing.”
“Hush now,” Octavia said, waving her down. “No need to try and humble me. I will not think it strange if you did come all this way just to bask in my presence. I have been told that I make for rather enjoyable company.”
Thalia laughed. “Yes, fine, you caught me. That is exactly why I am here.”
“I knew it!”
It was once again that Thalia found herself at the Guildhall Library. And while she had been expecting to run into Octavia, even hoping to, it was certainly not the reason that she had come all this way.
Her reason for making this trip was on account of the confusion that was toiling away deep within the recess of Thalia’s conscience.
It was the type of confusion that she needed answers for, and seeing as the last time she had come here, an answer was found to her problems, she hoped to get lucky a second time.
“Before we do any of that…” Thalia looked down the length of bookshelves and touched her chin in consideration. “Might you help me find a book or two?”
Octavia took Thalia’s hand. “That is my job! So, I suppose I can try my best. All you need do is tell me what you are after, and if such a book exists…” She looked about them, taking in the grandeur of the library. “I dare say we’ll have it. We better, seeing as we have everything else.”
“It is not such an easy thing to…” Thalia clicked her tongue. “The problem is, I don’t know what exactly I am after.”
“Ah, a challenge. I do love those. Why don’t we start with the purpose? And go from there.” She blinked her big eyes and smiled so the gap between her front teeth showed.
Thalia hesitated, realizing suddenly the precarious nature of what she was asking… and whether she knew Octavia well enough to divulge it.
Caspian was the reason she was here, of course. What other reason could there be? It had been five days now since they spent the evening together, and while Thalia had hoped that things would become easier after that most fateful event, they had only gotten worse.
Or rather, they had stayed the same.
It was silly of Thalia, but she had expected more from Caspian after they slept together.
In her mind, a moment as intimate and passionate as the one they shared was the perfect chance for him to step away from his emotionally vacant state and start treating her like a human being. Like someone who mattered.
Frustratingly, nothing had changed.
It started as soon as they finished, when he said quite simply that they would need to sleep together a few more times to make sure she was with child.
Thalia had been swept up in the moment, her heart aching, her body writhing from pleasure so that it might burst!
And then Caspian’s calm, cold words doused the flame and forced her back into reality.
He did not care about her. He was not falling for her. And what they had done was little more than a business transaction.
In response, Thalia tried to show him hostility, but she wasn’t certain that he even noticed. An entire day and evening of treating him like something that she had stuck to the bottom of her shoe, and he was entirely unaffected.
Worse, Thalia did not want to treat him that way.
Before they slept together, Thalia was enjoying how close they were starting to become.
How they spoke openly. How they spent time together freely.
Dammit, it had seemed to her that he wanted them to grow closer, that their marriage… it was starting to feel real.
Thus, a new mode of operation was needed.
Thalia could not ignore the Duke into treating her with respect.
Nor could she pretend that nothing had happened between them either.
She needed answers, ways to close the gap between them, and a means to show the Duke that not only was she starting to fall for him, but that it was perfectly natural for him to feel the same way about her.
Hard to do, when Caspian had the emotional availability of a pillowcase, but that was a problem she hoped to solve today. No, it was one that she needed to solve today.
As to how she would explain such a thing to Octavia…
“I am looking for…” Thalia hesitated, only for an idea to suddenly come to mind. “A romance novel.”
“Oh!” Octavia’s eyes brightened. “My favorite!”
“But it has to be specific,” Thalia was quick to follow up. “A story where the hero is… particular, in how he behaves.”
Octavia frowned. “What does that mean? Particular how?”
“More cautious,” Thalia clarified. “He likes the heroine. Perhaps he even loves her. But he is emotionally unavailable and a little cold – not because he is bad or wicked. Rather, he is scared to show his true feelings. And the heroine, knowing this, is forced to find ways to make him show her these feelings, without it being so obvious. Does that make sense?”
“That is very…” Octavia’s frown deepened. “Very precise.”
“Too precise?”
“No, no,” Octavia ensured her. “I do love a challenge. Almost as much as I love a good romance. So, combining the two should be right up my alley, no?”
Thalia laughed. “I have nothing but faith in you.”
They spent the next few minutes walking through the aisles together.
As they did, Octavia chatted merrily and about almost anything that seemed to come to mind.
She was extremely pleasant and kind, loved the sound of her own voice, and was the type who seemed to exist to make others feel better about themselves.
Even if they didn’t find anything, Thalia was already feeling better about her situation, such was the librarian’s effect on her mood.
“Wait here,” Octavia said suddenly, her eyes widening as if from a sudden idea.
“Oh? How come?”
“I just remembered something!” Octavia clapped her hands excitedly. “A book was returned just yesterday, and I think it will be exactly what you need.” She giggled and then started down the aisles. “I will be right back!”
While she waited, Thalia strolled lazily down the aisle, her eyes scanning the various books, looking for nothing in particular. And that was when she heard someone speak her name.
“Thalia…” The voice came to her in a whisper. “Thalia… over here…”
Thalia started and spun about, gasping in surprise when she saw none other than Seraphine hurrying toward her. She stayed low as she did, and kept one hand up to cover the side of her face.
“Seraphine?” Thalia frowned as she watched her best friend’s little sister come for her. “What are you –”
“I can’t stay long.” She came to a stop before Thalia, but remained hunched over, her face still half-hidden by the side of her hand, her voice a low whisper. “I am here with my father,” she explained quickly. “Truly, I was not even sure it was you who I saw.”
“Your father…” Thalia perked up and glanced about as if trying to find him.
“Don’t!” Seraphine snatched her hand and pulled her down. “Do not let him see you.”
Thalia rolled her eyes. “It is quire fine, Seraphine. I am perfectly capable of dealing with your father.” She snorted softly. “He is the one who should be worried about running into me.”
“No, Thalia…” Seraphine’s eyes widened and for the first time, Thalia saw the fear in them. Worse than that, she noticed how the young woman was trembling. “Father is not to be taken lightly. He is… he is dangerous.”
“Seraphine…” Thalia felt a chill ripple down her spine. “What are you saying?”
She glanced around, double checking they were alone, and then her voice dropped even further. “I have never seen him like this. He has a temper, but this is…” She winced. “He is furious with you, Thalia. Truly, he has lost his mind, from the way he talks and what he says.”
“What does he say?”
“He blames you for what happened with Rosaline. And for some reason, he seems to think that… that… that…” She was stammering, unable to control the panic in her voice.
“Seraphine.” Thalia took her hand and squeezed it as she met the young girl’s eyes. “Tell me what he said.”
Seraphine swallowed her panic. “He wants revenge. He did not say it as that, but I know that is what he seeks. He is obsessed with you, Thalia. Always asking questions. Always prying about you and His Grace. I do not know what he means to do, but I know that he will not be happy until you and His Grace are –”
“This looks friendly.” From the shadows, Octavia appeared suddenly.
“Oh!” Seraphine jumped in the air as she cried out.
“I am sorry,” Octavia hurried. “I did not mean to –"
“I should go.” Seraphine pulled her arm free and spun about in panic. “Please, Thalia, be careful. My father has lost his mind, and I fear what he will do.” She ducked her head and rushed down the aisle, vanishing do quickly that Thalia wondered for a moment if she had imagined the whole thing.
“Well, that was rather strange,” Octavia said as she looked to where Seraphine had just disappeared. “A friend of yours?”
“Something like that…”
Thalia watched after Seraphine, caught between concern for her best friend’s sister, and fear for what she had just been told.
But what did she even say? That her father hates me? That he wants revenge against me? Is that really as big of a revelation as Seraphine thinks it is?
In many ways, it was not anything new. Thalia knew Lord Donmere hated her, and she knew from Rosaline how petty the man could be.
While Thalia wished to dismiss Seraphine as worrying for no good reason, she could not dismiss the poor girl’s warning entirely.
She had appeared terrified, and that was worth being concerned about.
“Sad news,” Octavia sighed. “I could not find the book. Someone else must have borrowed it.”
“Book?” Thalia looked at her friend, a moment needed to remember what she was speaking of. “Oh! The book.”
“No matter,” Octavia assured her eagerly. “I will think of another one. Assuming you are in no rush?” She looked hopeful, as if the mere idea of Thalia having to leave might just break her heart.
Thalia smiled and took her friend by the hand. “I have all day, Octavia. All day.”
And she did have that too. No matter how much she wished that someone might miss her.