Epilogue
EIGHT MONTHS LATER…
“It’s taking too long,” Caspian said as he paced back and forth. “Something is wrong.”
“I am sure everything is quite fine,” Damien said simply. He was sitting on the couch with a book open in his lap. Never had a man looked more calm.
“You can’t possibly know that,” Caspian snapped.
“He’s right, Caspian…” Rosaline hurried to intercept Caspian as he turned on the spot, ready to pace back across the room for the hundredth time. “If something was wrong, we would know it.”
“These things are known to go on for hours,” Laurent agreed as he joined Rosaline.
“These things?” Rosaline snorted.
“You know what I meant,” Laurent sighed.
“I do,” she agreed. “But could you make it sound any less special. She’s not baking a turkey.”
“I’m just trying to help calm the moment!”
“And you are doing a wonderful job,” Rosaline laughed as she took her husband’s hand and gave it a kiss. “But perhaps leave it to someone else.”
“I agree with Laurent,” Damien added, still seated and looking calm. “It was said that my mother took two whole days with Thalia. We are far from that territory yet.”
“How long has it been?” Rosaline asked as she turned and looked out the window to get a better understanding of the time.
“Four hours,” Laurent said. “Not long at all.”
“Speak for yourself,” Rosaline snorted. “Four hours for us. How do you think Thalia feels?”
“I am only trying to help!”
“And as I said, you are not doing a very good job.”
“I suppose I should just go.” Laurent folded his arms and looked away in protest.
“Oh, don’t sulk,” Rosaline giggled.
“I am not sulking.”
“You are.”
Rosaline and Laurent continued to bicker between themselves. Damien sighed and went back to reading his book; he shook his head at the antics that he was surrounded by. And Caspian, feeling on the verge of exploding, started to pace the room again.
Caspian had lived through many challenging days in his life.
The death of his mother, and even his father.
That long week where he thought that he had ruined things with Thalia.
And even recently, when Thalia had felt a pain in her belly that for several hours they both thought was related to the baby, only to learn that it was caused by something that she ate.
I would relive them all again if I could get through this moment right now. I would live them one hundred times!
As he paced, Caspian tried to focus on the words that Thalia had told him shortly before this all began. She had acknowledged that it would be hard, and that he had every reason to panic. But she had also told him that there was no need to worry, and that everything would be fine.
She could not possibly know such things, of course, but her confidence had inspired Caspian for some time… a time that came and went hours ago because this was taking entirely far too long.
“I’m going to see what’s the matter.” A decision was made and Caspian stormed across the reading room for the doorway.
“I wouldn’t do that if I was you.” Rosaline hurried to catch him. “We were told to wait!”
“I don’t care what we were told.”
“You can’t do anything!” Rosaline reached for his arm but he yanked it back. “You’ll only make things worse.”
“How can they possibly be worse?” he cried out.
Recently, on many occasions, Thalia had teased Caspian about the man who he used to be.
Growing up the way that he had, Caspian had never been one to show his emotions.
Dammit, he had never been one who had emotions that needed to be shown.
It wasn’t done on purpose, but it was a part of him, and until he met Thalia, he had assumed that’s how things would always be.
Thalia had changed something inside of him.
Slowly and ever so surely he had come out of his shell and allowed those emotions buried deep within to shine.
Now, Caspian laughed when he found something funny, he got angry when something upset him, and he smiled with love every time that he looked upon his wife.
As things stand, I can’t help but wonder if having no emotions to speak of might have been beneficial… at least then, I wouldn’t be so damn scared as I currently am.
He had never really thought about it before, but he supposed now that how he had once been was a means of self-defense. It was easier to not be hurt if one did not have emotions or feelings capable of being attacked.
Frustratingly, Caspian was not the man he used to be, and now he was paying for it.
“I will let you know what I find out.” He made for the doorway, fully intending to walk right through.
“Your Grace.” Suddenly, appearing on the other side of the door was the chambermaid who was supposed to be with Thalia.
Caspian started and came to a sudden stop. “Thalia?” he asked immediately. “Is she –”
“She is ready for you,” the chambermaid said. “She only asks that you be gentle.”
“Gentle?” he swallowed. “What does that…”
“She is worn through, Your Grace. As you might expect.”
“And what of…” He swallowed again, unable to say it.
Her smile was soft. “Follow me.”
Caspian looked back at the room, and they gestured for him to go on ahead. They would join them shortly, but for now, this was a moment to be shared between husband and wife.
Caspian’s heart thundered as he followed the chambermaid through the manor. His legs shook terribly. His body had broken into a heavy sweat. Never before had he felt such fear, and if something went wrong… No, do not even think it.
They reached his bedroom moments later. The door was closed, but the chambermaid indicated for him to go in ahead. He reached the door, took a calming breath, and carefully popped the door open.
Light streamed through the quiet bedchamber. Too quite… Caspian thought as his eyes adjusted. He gingerly stepped inside, holding his breath the whole while, and it wasn’t until his eyes landed on his wife in their bed that he took what felt like his first breath in four hours.
“There he is,” Thalia said with a weak smile.
She looked as fragile as he had ever seen her. Pale skin, matted hair, heavy bags under her eyes. She was a shadow of her usual vibrant self. And while this might have struck Caspian with worry, that she was alive and breathing was cause to celebrate.
“Thalia!” he swept toward her. “I thought… I worried…” He reached her and dropped to his knees. There, he took her hands and pulled them to his lips.
She laughed softly. “I told you not to worry.”
“I never was much for taking orders.”
They shared a smile, relief felt that the worst was behind them. Only then did Caspian remember the reason for all of this, at which point he perked up and his eyes widened and his stomach sank because he felt that something was wrong.
“Is he… she… what of…” He stammered through the question.
In response, Caspian heard the gentle wailing of who could only be his firstborn child calling out from over his shoulder. He gasped and spun about, a smile breaking across his face to see the chambermaid carrying in her arms a bundle of cloth, in which was wrapped his child.
“You have a son,” Thalia said, her voice cracking. “We have a son.”
“A son…” Caspian trembled as the chambermaid gently passed him the baby. “My son…”
His son was so light that he couldn’t possibly be real.
Skin as pink as ham. Arms as tiny as Caspian’s fingers.
A scrunched face with closed eyes, small lips, a little button nose, and thin blonde hairs curling atop his head.
He was, without fear of exaggeration, the most beautiful thing that Caspian had ever seen.
Holding him close, feeling his son’s heart beating, Caspian started to cry. And he did not care.
“He looks just like you,” Thalia said with humor.
Caspian laughed through the tears. “He’s perfect. I… I can’t believe it.”
“You’re a father.” She rested a hand on his shoulder. “How does it feel?”
It was a question that Caspian could not possibly answer.
Yes, he was happy. Yes, he was relieved.
And yes, he was thrilled in ways that did not require comment.
But it was more than that. Until now, Caspian had not realized how much he’d wanted a child of his own.
It was always something that he thought he had to have, not something that he yearned for.
As he held his son to his chest, as he looked upon him, he realized suddenly that there had been a hole existing inside of him this entire time. A hole that was now filled, because in Caspian’s eyes his life was complete.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy,” he said in a whisper as he continued to look at his son.
Thalia squeezed his shoulder. “Nor I.”
“He’ll never wont for anything. He’ll never suffer, be sad, be angry… his life will be perfect. That, I promise.”
“With a father like you, I am sure it will be.”
Tearing his eyes from his son, Caspian looked to his wife. She glowed in the sunlight, the life slowly returning to her, and feeling the moment was right, he stood up, sat down on the edge of the bed, and kissed her gently on the forehead.
Then, they sat in silence, their first-born son resting between them. There were no words spoken, because nothing needed to be said. The moment was perfect, and so long as they remained there, it would remain so.
And not just the moment, but my life. What other word can be used, besides perfect? A wife that loves me. A child that I will do anything for. A family to call my own…
Caspian had not always been this way. Once, he had abhorred the idea of marriage and having a family.
He had not wanted the burden, seeing the whole thing as pointless.
But Caspian had changed much this past year, Thalia was the reason, and now that he had a son in this world, he looked forward to the changes that would continue to define his life.
He was in love. He was happy and he could feel it. And so long as those two constants remained, the rest of Caspian’s life promised to be one worth living.
The End?