Chapter Thirty-One
On the driveway of Rosemergy Cottage the following day, Sybil sank back into the leather seat of Matt’s Discovery. ‘Thanks for the lift. My old Renault is off the road again.’
‘It’s no trouble. I’m going to this Sea Fever thing anyway. I’m helping out with the Surf Club demos in the afternoon,’ Matt said.
‘You’re teaching?’ Sybil raised an eyebrow while she fastened her seatbelt.
‘Helping out. Vince is running the whole thing and Dawn asked me because they were desperate for qualified people. I couldn’t say no.’ He started the engine, keen to draw the attention away from himself. ‘Are you looking forward to it?’
‘Actually, I’m not feeling terribly enthusiastic about this one.’
‘Why’s that?’ Matt asked, turning on to the coast road that led to St Ives.
‘You normally love the finale and Sea Fever sounds great.’ It was a modest family event by Cornish festival standards but one which always attracted local families as well as tourists.
The club got a small cut of the gate receipts so Matt knew how important it was.
‘I know. It will be great. It makes a change to be part of a whole cast rather than on my own.’
Matt knew how she felt. Today, hopefully, he would simply be one of the many volunteers, not a benefactor attracting attention.
Sybil sighed.
‘Are you feeling OK?’ Matt asked, risking a quick glance at her. ‘You look a lot better than after your fall. I was really worried about you.’
‘How gallant of you,’ she said and Matt imagined her raising a sarcastic eyebrow. He was now too busy concentrating on the road busy with tourists, farm vehicles and tradespeople’s vans on this August Saturday.
He drove past the top entrance to the village which had given Zennor her name. She’d once told him her dad had loved the village so he’d suggested naming their only daughter after it. Zennor had always worshipped her father. ‘Oh, for f—’
The road ahead was blocked by a farmer on a quad bike and a herd of brown cows slowly trailing out of a farm gate and down the road into another field.
Sybil let the car window down and breathed deeply. ‘I love that fresh country air.’
Matt wrinkled his nose.
‘I fear we’ll be here for a while. That’s Jory Richards’s herd and they’re not keen to do anything in a hurry.’
‘Great.’ Matt drummed his fingers on the wheel.
He’d planned on being nowhere near the festival or the Surf Club because of the high likelihood of bumping into Zennor.
He’d only agreed to help out with the lifeguarding demos because Dawn had been desperate.
Several of the club members were involved in festival events elsewhere and Matt hadn’t felt he could say no.
He coughed as the pungent smell of cow muck hit the back of his throat.
Sybil wound the window back up. ‘Oh well, at least we can have a proper chat now you’re not concentrating on the road.’
Matt didn’t want a chat. ‘I do wish these cows would shift! I think they’re doing this deliberately,’ he said as one cow lifted its tail and deposited a pile of dung right where Matt would have to drive when they eventually did move.
‘The cows can hardly be held responsible for your current mood, which is a little spiky, if I may say.’
‘I’m sorry. I – If you must know, the launch party was – unsettling. I was really pleased that the club decided to honour Grandad with the plaque and everyone was – well, really nice to me, but I hadn’t expected to be the centre of attention as much as I was.’
‘Oh, Matt, you couldn’t have really been that surprised? Harry was so well liked and Dawn probably meant well. Everyone must be so pleased you’ve stepped in to help.’
‘Maybe but I genuinely don’t do it for their thanks. Helping the club and knowing Grandad would be pleased is all I need. When they asked me to sing …’
The farmer tried to make the stubborn cow move.
Matt killed the engine and resigned himself to having a conversation with Sybil that he’d hoped to avoid.
‘When they first asked me to sing, I felt trapped but …’ His hands felt clammy on the wheel as he remembered the moment he’d been pushed forward.
He picked his water bottle from the cup holder but offered it to Sybil first.
‘No, thanks,’ she said. ‘Kind of you but I have my own. Go on. You said you felt trapped but …’
‘But once I was actually singing and back into it, with the choir around me, I felt like I was – I don’t know. Uplifted. Listen to me. Does that sound pathetic?’
‘No, it doesn’t,’ Sybil declared. ‘That’s the way you’re meant to feel when you perform, particularly with your friends.
It doesn’t always happen but sometimes everything aligns and it can be that magical.
I can’t say I feel it now … maybe occasionally with a really good audience, but when I was in the theatre, if we had a good night and a great audience, at the end, I could have soared off the stage.
We’d all be high as a kite for hours afterwards. I’d hardly sleep all night.’
The remaining cows trailed up the road after their obstinate friend and into the other field. Matt reached over and patted her hand. ‘You’re right as usual. It’s just – the whole thing was so draining and yes, the singing with the choir was incredible, but after that … things went a bit tits up.’
‘Oh dear.’
‘Can I ask who told you about me singing at the launch?’ he asked as pleasantly as he could.
‘Zennor, of course. We had a quick coffee in town.’
‘Ah. Is there anything else she told you?’
‘Only that it was pretty intense and emotional.’
Matt nodded. ‘You could say that.’
Another cow had decided to stop. Matt sighed. ‘Good job we left lots of time to get to the event.’
‘Yes. Look, if you don’t want to offload, then that’s fine. Zennor wasn’t keen either other than giving me a few details about the singing. By the way, she said you brought tears to her eyes.’
‘I’ve done that a few times,’ Matt murmured.
‘You certainly seem to arouse strong emotions in each other.’
‘Hmm. Did she say that Trev was at the launch?’
‘She mentioned it.’
‘He’s muscled in on the fundraising, offering a sponsorship package for trainee lifeguards.’
‘I’m guessing you aren’t happy?’
‘I’m not but I can’t do a thing about it. I – was upset and feelings were running high and I may have let her know how I felt about Trev taking over.’
‘Oh.’ Sybil let out a sigh. ‘Zennor didn’t say anything about a row between you.’
‘Well … I did exactly what I’d vowed not to: tried to warn her about Trev. Said stuff about him. Jeez, I wish I hadn’t!’ He banged on the steering wheel. ‘Shit. I’m just so worried – worried she’ll go back to that bastard.’
‘She won’t.’ Sybil sounded adamant.
‘She might. She said it was her decision if she did and it was none of my business.’
Sybil shook her head and sounded exasperated. ‘What do you expect her to say if you back her into a corner? If you do exactly what you promised not to and what she was dreading?’
Matt gripped the wheel. ‘I – just can’t bear for him to con her again. I can’t let it happen.’
‘But you may have to let things happen. Don’t you trust Zennor’s judgement?’
‘I – Yes, but Trev is a cunning character. He’s trying rewrite the past by fooling her into believing he’s a new man, when I’m sure he’s every bit as much of a tosser as he always was.
It would tear me apart. I think – Sybil, I think I’m going to have to walk away or ruin things for everyone.
I – might move away again, start somewhere else.
And I mean a long way away. I can’t watch her be taken in by him again. ’
‘No. I don’t want you driven away from your home again!’ Sybil said.
‘What else can I do?’ Matt asked.
‘Play the long game, let events unfold, and trust her to do the right thing.’
‘Which might not involve me?’
Sybil’s pause told him everything. ‘Now that I cannot answer.’
Over the past few years, without him ever acknowledging it to himself, Matt had thought – hoped, dreamed – that if he’d told Zennor how he really felt about her when they were young and before she married Trev, they would have stayed together.
Sybil scrolled through her phone while Matt brooded as he had done for days, months and years.
Even now he was back, vowing to keep out of Zennor’s hair, he’d imagined that if he’d only been honest about his true feelings then – and now – she would have said, Oh, that’s OK then. If I’d known you loved me and you feel the same now, then let’s get together and live happily ever after.
It stung – it stung like salt in a wound – that she’d thought they were so wrong for each other.
However, Zennor was bang on about one thing.
He was jealous – Trev had once again barged in on something that meant so much to him.
And it had happened at the very moment when he might, despite everything he’d said to Sybil, have begun to nurse the faintest spark of hope that he could possibly one day gain her forgiveness – and perhaps more.
He’d come back to St Ives convinced that the time was right to return to his roots, honour his grandad’s legacy, help Tyler and restore the Surf Club.
Matt had given himself so many good reasons for returning home, yet he knew that they all paled beside the real reason: the one he’d refused to admit to himself until now.
He’d come back for Zennor. To save Zennor and sweep her away like a knight in shining armour. After finally admitting that he was more in love with her than ever, he’d arrogantly assumed that if he only told her how he felt, she would run back into his arms.
A horn honked insistently from behind.
‘The cows have gone,’ Sybil said. ‘We need to move on.’
Matt drove off. Zennor didn’t need saving from anyone – least of all by him.