Chapter 5 As Wicked as.
AS WICKED AS...
LUELLA
Luella ran a shaking, pale hand over the soft chain of a necklace. It pooled through her fingertips like fine silk, the links so delicate that they moved like water, tinkling softly as they clinked against each other.
"How beautiful," she murmured, tilting her head as she let the necklace fall through her fingers into her awaiting palm.
She did it again. Again and again, she let it slip. She was arrested by the way the soft, golden chains draped over the tips of the stalactites, making the whole cavern sparkle. No, not a cavern. But a den. A dragon’s den—Luella was in the very heart of it.
Barefoot—her shoes had been lost in the chaos of the storm—she padded across the stone floors, wary of the dip in the center.
Her balance was already off; she didn’t want to risk it further.
Every step sent aches up her spine and out through her wings, folded close to her back without her permission.
It was hard to walk; she found her hand braced against the wall as she stopped to catch her breath.
She couldn’t rest, even with the dragon King’s lingering demand rolling around in her head.
She eyed his furs. Piles and piles of warm blankets, the sides slightly risen as if it were a bird’s nest. It looked so… peaceful. She yearned to crawl underneath the piles of furs, but she—
Couldn’t.
Not knowing they were out there, in her storm, while she was here, safe.
She curled her hands weakly against the stone wall.
"Come back to me. Please. I don’t want to do this alone.
" She spoke to no one and nothing, but perhaps, the tiniest part of her wondered if something was listening.
"You took me from everything. Stole me away in the night, so you do not get to leave me here. "
Even though she was alone, it was still cathartic to free herself of her innermost thoughts. Like wisps of air seeping outward and billowing about the room.
Her throat burned, her lips cracking as she licked them, desperate for water.
"Do not leave me here." Luella fisted the necklace in her hand, feeling the delicate links cutting into her palm.
The mountains of jewels glittered in Vale’s den, prismatic light reflected upon the walls, mingling with the orange glow of the fire from the stone hearth.
Small tendrils of brighter lights, shining and flickering like stardust, danced with playful movements. But she blinked, and it was gone. A trick of the light.
She had never felt particularly beholden to the gods of the fae, nameless and numberless, as they were. Standing there, feeling something prick at the back of her neck and warm the inside of her soul, she wondered why the gods of the shifters were not revered by all.
She had seen. She had felt the stardust against her skin in the Temples—an undeniable force that could not be explained away.
Her dreams…
Caliban—pulled inside the cave in the Silva Noctis. The way he had screamed and pleaded for a savior as thick shadows had roamed about the darkened earth—his claim of being the Tenebrae.
Luella understood that just as the Lux made her feel warm and peaceful, thoughts of the Tenebrae made a yawning pit open up inside her, churning with unease.
Slowly, she walked to the small shelf carved into the stone wall, jewels and necklaces heaped atop it like they were meaningless, and placed the necklace back where she had gotten it from.
The gleam of the jewels was a sharp contrast against the stone walls, the shadows in the dark spaces in which the firelight did not penetrate.
"Maybe light only exists to remind us how dark the rest of it is," she whispered, staring at the shadows.
Her attention was caught by the large case of many shelves next to Vale’s furs, stuffed with unimaginable riches. Her fingers itched to touch and trace the pointed tips of the rubies and rounded faces of the sapphire stones.
She was alone here. There was no way to tell how long had passed, the sun was hidden far beyond the walls of the den. She would not venture out of this cozy space, scared to leave.
And no one was there to stop her if she looked.
A peek at his hoard was the least Vale could offer her, after all he had done.
Mind made up, Luella hobbled to the case.
What lay within stole her breath.
Delicate rings, diamonds cut for small hands.
Necklaces with glittering jewels that fell from the chain like snowflakes.
Stunning, queenly crowns. Circlets with opal stones set into the middle.
Her eyes dipped to the lower shelves, finding an odd assortment of trinkets.
A gilded hourglass; a small sundial, the size of her palm; a set of jewel-encrusted quills in a cloth-bound book, the cover sparkling with diamond dust.
"You love to collect pretty things, dragon King," she commented aloud.
Her attention drifted back to the top shelves, where the true, priceless jewels lay.
Nestled between a chain that was pooled atop a burgundy pillow, dripping pieces of star-shaped diamonds hanging from the links, and a set of golden bangles on its own smaller pillow for display, she spied the tiniest of bracelets.
The chain was delicate and fine like silk as she ran her fingers over it, shaking slightly as if scared to disturb it.
She felt as though Vale would storm in at any moment and yell at her for what she was doing—but she knew it was not so. He was gone, and would be gone for some time still, even though she had no way to tell the time here save for the cadence of her breaths and beating of her heart.
Her eyelids drooped, what little defiance remained flickering out like a dying flame. She was running on embers, alone.
Her back twinged in warning as she reached a hand for the bracelet, entranced.
The soft downy of her feathers brushed against her lower spine and shoulder, making her shiver from the twin sensations—she felt what touched her wings, but could not move them; and felt her wings touch her skin, but could do no more than tremble in reaction.
The chain was cool against the pads of her fingers, and she touched the charms that dangled softly from it.
A small pendant of the sun, barely the size of her pinky nail, crafted of gold.
And a twin pendant of the moon, a black stone that glittered as she lifted it and tilted it in the dim firelight.
It reminded her of… herself.
Her past, her present, and future, entwined as they dangled precariously from the thread of her fate.
Before she could think better of it, she gathered the bracelet in her hand and cupped it in her palms, staring down at the way the white gold of the chain appeared like a spider’s web, fine and thin.
Her exhaustion grew to be too much, and she found herself sitting amongst Vale’s furs, the bracelet still clutched in her palm as she stared out at the cavernous hall, waiting for any sign of Vale and the others.
She sat awkwardly, unable to rest her back against the furs due to her wings. Her spine twinged with discomfort. The dried blood on her flesh cracked as she shifted, making her feel unclean.
But she did not want to sleep. Dread threatened to drown her.
Alone, all she could do was think of what she had done.
She murmured, "I’m the Princess of Luna."
A sob bubbled up from within. She couldn’t hold it back. It spilled over her lips, the sound ripe with anguish.
"I’m the Princess of Luna," she cried. "It was all—all for n-nothing."
She thought of her parents—no, the King and Queen of Solis.
How did they come to keep her? She felt only numbness when she thought of them and how they treated her.
The King’s cruelty, his punishments. The Queen’s disregard for her and her feelings.
She’d assumed it had been because she had no magic; she was an embarrassment.
But perhaps it was guilt. Maybe, deep down, they looked at her and saw the lies in her golden eyes and golden hair and muted smiles.
She had never belonged to them. And they never tried to make her feel like she did.
She had not been theirs.
She had never been anyone’s.
Luella had not cared after their deaths, not truly, and this only made her realize she was glad to know they had not been her parents. Now, the guilt was not as great for she didn’t have to force herself to feel badly at the thought of their demise. But she felt vile. Wicked.
Was she… evil?
Was she as dark as Caliban?
As wicked as the dragon King who made the order to claim her kingdom?
"I’m no different than them," she realized. "Because I-I don’t… care. Should I care? Why don’t I care? Why doesn’t it hurt m-more?" Her sobs turned to hiccuping gasps. She couldn’t get enough air.
Her back twinged again from the force of her sobs. A sharp, dragging pain pulsed out from the torn skin beneath the bandage. Wings she could feel, but not move.
Another thing that was not hers. Another lie.
Forced out of her.
She was cold, yet on fire. She was as thin and weightless as the clouds, yet heavy as the crashing waves.
Numb.
The fire crackled in the hearth, the jewels glimmered in the piles, and her heart broke in her chest.