Chapter 9 Make It Right #2
She thought about it, and in the silence, the red in his eyes grew deeper; he took shallow breaths, lips slightly parted as if he could not stand to breathe in her scent through his nose.
She had said she would join them, because even clouds did not work alone. Just the same, one droplet of rain was not a tempest, but a deluge could only be formed by thousands, millions, of water droplets, working together to cause chaos.
She couldn’t work alone, not like she had been. Perhaps, the same could be said for them. They fought each other so much that they might as well have been working on their own.
What would happen if they all… worked together?
"I’ve not changed my mind. If anything, I feel like this is what should have been done from the beginning.
" She spoke softly, watching him. "The prophecy—you’ve known all along about what I must do, and still you kept trying to use me.
Did it ever occur to you that maybe if you were honest, I would have agreed?
" The fever still clouded her thoughts, making her words flow freely.
She found she loved it. To speak without care.
She didn’t understand the words of the prophecy. Not truly. Just as she didn’t understand the dreams she had been having. Of Caliban. Not the nightmare of when she had been taken. That, Luella knew, was merely trauma, not some gods-given vision of the past.
The only thing that rang clear to her:
To expel the dark, the shadow’s spark, and defeat the stolen, she must bond with the chosen.
Those words were etched in her mind, imprinted onto the very fabric of her being.
It scared her, knowing what lay ahead.
"I regret what I have done." Bastian swallowed. "And I will spend every day working to make it right. I have not given you any gifts lately—we’ve been busy. How would you like another?"
"Right now?" she asked quietly, eyes drifting to the others, who were doing a good job of looking like they weren’t listening.
Tharen’s head was canted to the side as he spoke with the King; smoke flowed from Vale’s lips, and his fists were clenched as the golden firelight cast warm shadows over his profile.
Graves sat silently away from them all, laces on his shirt undone, revealing a tantalizing strip of skin at his chest. The purple stone of his amulet hung there, glinting as if taunting her.
Her mind worked to remember something, but it drifted away.
Luella looked back at Bastian. "Okay."
His fangs flashed as he dipped his chin in acknowledgment. He shifted his hold to cup both her hands in his. Az still slept soundly behind her, his steady exhales rustling the hairs on her nape.
"Don’t wake Az," she warned.
Bastian smiled at her protectiveness. "Wouldn’t dream of it." Then he leaned forward, nose brushing hers. Her eyes widened, expecting his lips to press upon hers, but he didn’t. At the last moment, as if he thought better of it, he jerked his chin up, lips softly touching her brow.
And Luella was torn from her mind and welcomed into another.
Her lids fell shut as Bastian used his Mind magic to draw her from her thoughts and place her in his. Her unseen feet sank into the shifting sands of his mind, smoke drifting around, wrapping her up in a bergamot embrace.
She felt her eyes move behind her closed lids. Bastian’s fingers tightened on hers.
She had been inside him only once before. During her… lessons.
That had been nothing like this. That had been merely looking through his eyes, hearing whispers of his thoughts—now, she was fully seated within, voyeur to everything, peeking through the opened doors of his thoughts.
I love feeling you inside me, pet. The vampire’s words echoed around her. You don’t want me in your mind, so I brought you to mine.
She tried to think a question back to him, but it was hard. She strained. She had no lips to move. A chuckle bounced off the grey, smoky walls of Bastian’s innermost thoughts.
I brought you here because I want you to believe me, he answered her unspoken question.
It seemed as though he heard her, even without her speaking.
His hands tightened around hers. She felt Az’s chest rise and fall with breaths, but she couldn’t move her body. She was trapped, but it was almost peaceful, being wrapped up in someone else, letting them take the reins.
I’m going to have so much fun with you. Fleeting pleasure licked against her, morphing before she could focus on it. That’s not why I brought you here. I want you to feel me. Feel my regret.
It slammed into her. If she could have gasped, she would have.
The vampire felt such sorrow at what he had done. The lies he had crafted, the ways he had tricked her, used her, and gone along with the King’s schemes.
He had never meant to—he had wanted to be more like Az, but something held him back from standing up for what he believed in.
Luella.
The promise of her.
You needed someone to care for you, on the inside.
So, that is what I became. Remorse echoed his thoughts.
Somewhere along the way, I got lost. I grew scared.
Complacent. You became less of a promise and more of a curse.
But when I saw you, when I went into your dreams before your capture, I realized how real you are.
How sweet. The smoke of his thoughts flickered against her ghostly flesh, cool and sinful.
I realized how deeply I had messed up. In trying to keep you safe from them, I became them.
Hearing his thoughts, standing within his mind, she wanted to tell him that she understood. She had never understood anything more than at that moment. He had tried to keep her safe, the only way he knew how. Centuries of waiting had beaten down on them all, changing them—for the worse.
She had forgiven Az. She had once wondered if Bastian could earn that forgiveness, too. Now the moment was here, and she was faced with it.
She understood, but a part of her, angry and desperate, wanted to hold her forgiveness away from him, let it dangle over his head, untouchable, for centuries. So he might know the true weight of remorse.
The smoke seeped away, and she was gently placed back inside her own mind.
Luella opened her eyes. Bastian was right before her, so close she could see the shifting swirls of deep maroon in his irises. It was as though they were the only two beings around.
He waited for her to speak.
"Bastian, I understand you, the decisions you made. That doesn’t mean"—she drew in a steadying breath—"that it didn’t hurt. Doesn’t hurt," she corrected. "I understand. I will n-never forget, and I cannot say I forgive you yet."
She placed the last word there with aching care, a small breadcrumb thrown on the ground of her sentence.
It worked.
"Yet," Bastian echoed, hands flexing on hers, smooth fingertips brushing against her wrist, feeling her pulse. "That is something I can take. It is more than I deserve."
"But it is what I offer."
"Thank you," he murmured.
She wasn’t done. "Don’t tell me, show me." He started to speak, but she held out a hand, shaking slightly. "Not your emotions, but your actions. Show me you want my forgiveness, Bastian."
It was easy to tell, easy for him to allow her inside his mind to feel the weight of his remorse.
Luella wanted more. She wanted… She didn’t know what she wanted.
But she wanted him to regret it, to show her.
Like the gifts. Like staying out of her mind.
Like speaking for her, when she was not able to.
A large, thick arm tightened around her waist, careful of her wings.
"It’s much more than he deserves. You’re too sweet, Lu.
" Az’s voice was deep and grumbly with sleep.
She was pressed against him, half-turned so her back would not touch him.
She felt every word he spoke rumble through her, making her shiver.
Her wings were still numb from the salve Tharen had placed on the bandages, but she swore the faintest prickle of awareness touched the base, fluttering at the sound of his voice, desperate to preen. It made her abashed.
She licked her lips, tasting pure rainwater on them. Her eyes fixed on green ones, burning with possessiveness as they flicked to the arm around her waist, the hands holding hers. She held Vale’s stare. "I would rather be sweet than not. There’s a unique strength to it, I’ve heard."
The dragon shifter’s shoulders sagged with a strained exhale. She untwisted her fingers from Bastian’s, reaching down to touch the bracelet on her wrist.
If they were playing a game of latrunculi, Luella would have just taken one of his pieces, taunting him with it.
"Since you’re obviously awake…" Tharen’s voice cut through the tension. The mage unfurled from his seated position, towering over her as he stalked to the furs. He jerked his head to the others. "Out of the way. I need to check her bandages and make sure she’s still healing well before we leave."
Bastian released her hands, but not before he leaned forward, the tip of his nose brushing against hers, once more. His cool breaths puffed over her cheeks and parted lips. She had to stop herself from gulping down the taste of his breath, his scent. "Okay," the vampire said.
She nearly asked what he was agreeing to, so overcome by his nearness; the spiced bergamot made her dizzy with want. But then she remembered. He was agreeing to show her. She almost smiled.
The vampire moved to stand next to Graves. Az didn’t go far; the demon moved her from where she was bundled to his chest, shifting to sit by her ankles.
Tharen knelt by the furs, deft hands unraveling a leather pouch, revealing his tools.