Chapter 15 So Show Me
SO SHOW ME
LUELLA
Alow heat curled in Luella’s belly as she carefully entered the bare room, the wooden door falling shut behind her with a resounding thump.
A crack of lightning shattered through the sky. She flinched, her wings fluttering nervously behind her, making her spine ache.
What was she doing here?
Maybe it was the fever that still licked through her bloodstream. She didn’t feel in control of anything. She only knew two things:
That she had needed to get away and be alone, to find her thoughts. Except, the thoughts she found, she wanted to tuck back away.
And the welling dread and grief, echoed by faint bits of anger that curled within her body like wisps of air, had all dissipated as strong shocks of lust pulsed down one of her threads.
The one that reminded her of melted chocolate and a pot of sugar burning over a hearth, bubbling and popping as it cooked.
Her feet had carried her back to this room. Back to her demon.
Now, she was faced with the sight of him, chest slick with sweat and the thick scent of him clouding the room, seeping through her skin, as if to draw her nearer to him. She wanted to follow the call.
Slowly, Luella padded to the swaying hammock. Her brows furrowed, flushed cheeks warming anew as she blurted, "How are you able to fit?"
The rusted sconce was warm in her hand, offering little light. She had plucked it off the walls, scared of the dark. She swore, in that dim light, the demon’s dusky skin grew darker along his cheeks.
"What?"
"The hammock," she clarified. "You’re too big for it."
Az let out a low huff, not quite a laugh. "Come here, angel. Let me hold you."
She was suddenly burning. So, she shrugged off her cloak, letting it pool to the floor, leaving her in her ruined gown.
Luella found a spot for the sconce, back twinging as she bent to place it on the ground.
The warm glow made long shadows cast upon the wooden floor, leaving pointed impressions of Az’s horns, mingled with the faint image of her wings, tucked behind her.
An angel and a demon. They were a strange pair.
He followed her gaze, a large hand falling on her knee as she braced it on the rocking hammock. "You’re far too good for me, Lu."
"Don’t say that," she whispered. It made her heart clench in her chest. That wasn’t the first time he had shared that with her.
He helped her onto the hammock, arranging her limbs atop his chest. He held an arm awkwardly over his lower stomach, and she arched a brow, emboldened by the mild fever running through her heated body.
"I came back because I f-felt you, Az…" She couldn’t bring herself to say more. Curiosity battled with trepidation.
She shifted, trying to get comfortable. It was difficult, with the rocking hammock and his hard body underneath her. An unfamiliar sensation zinged up her spine, and she gasped, twisting to find the tips of her wings draped over his thighs.
"Oh." Luella shivered.
Az’s amber eyes burned against her feathers. "How does it feel?" he asked, a hand raised as if to reach for them, but he held it midair, not willing to cross the distance.
Her knees were splayed on either side of his thighs, not quite resting on his lap, a bit lower.
He was reclining against the hammock, and slowly, she pressed her palms to his lower chest, bracing herself against him.
She felt his sharp inhale against her hands, beneath her hips.
It made the reason she was drawn here come rushing back to the forefront of her mind like a thick, ocean wave.
"Strange," she murmured. "It feels like they’re a part of me, but not. Like if I tried hard enough, thought hard enough, I could move them. But they don’t want to be moved." She paused, thinking. "It’s like something I didn’t know that had been taken from me, finally returned, but I’ve spent so long without it, that now, I’m not sure I want it—not sure I know what to do with it. "
It was hard to sum up her feelings on her wings. To her, it was just another way she had been used, against her will. Another secret. Another thing stolen.
Az’s hand fell to her hip. "And you, Lu? How do you feel?"
"Like I could be swallowed up by my feelings, and I wouldn’t even care." There were so many, she couldn’t sift through them. Anger, rage, sadness, nostalgia, yearning, desperation. But the most worrying of all was resignation.
"How can I help?" he asked, his tone gentle, rumbling through her where she was pressed against him.
"Be you. That is enough." Her hair tumbled over her shoulder as she leaned down, pressing her chest flush to his. His arm, tucked close to his lower stomach, cut into her, but she didn’t care. She wanted to feel him—she needed to feel him.
Az’s heart thumped against his chest, pounding in her ear. The hand on her hip moved to brush the base of her spine, cautious of her wings and bandages. She didn’t want him to treat her so gently.
"Touch them," she mumbled, not able to look at his face, cheek still pressed against his chest.
He stilled under her. "Lu…"
"I want you to."
Her wings ached, but the ache for him was more pressing. Her lids fluttered as she felt the first brush of him against her. A full-body shudder wracked her frame.
"Tell me how it feels," he urged softly.
Luella’s breath hitched as his knuckles traced over the very ends of her right wing.
A phantom touch. Her nerves sparked and yearned, making her toes curl.
"It feels g-good." She couldn’t stay the tremor in her voice.
But this time? It was not from fear. Her mind drifted to what he had looked like when she came into the room.
His scent still clung to everything, coating the air. "You can touch more."
There was the slightest moment of hesitancy before he obeyed.
His fingers sifted through the individual feathers, carding through them like he might her hair. She gasped, low and breathless.
Az’s need carried to her through the thread connecting them, making her drift up higher, as if she were truly weightless as a cloud.
She tugged at his other arm, still trapped between their bodies.
"I—" He released a thin breath. "Lu, I am not decent. I’ll dirty you."
At that, she lifted her head from his chest, the base of her spine aching. "What do you mean?"
"Do you know what a male’s release looks like?" He spoke as if he were in a great deal of pain.
She swallowed, abashed. She knew, somewhat. She had overheard the maids in Solis speak of that. But she had never seen it herself.
She nodded, unable to speak.
Az’s free hand moved from her wings, and she mourned the loss of his touch as he urged her back. "Sit back for me, angel."
She did, with reluctance, finding his arm quickly rub over his lower stomach in the dim firelight. She saw nothing, but questions plagued her—just as realization slammed into her.
The feelings that had led Luella here made sense. "Oh, you were…"
"Forgive me, angel." She watched Az’s throat work as he swallowed. "This is what I mean. I’m not good for you. You’re sweet and pure, and I’m a beast."
He was ashamed. And she hated that.
Slowly, as if shocked by her own boldness, her hands fell upon his lower stomach, right where he had cleaned moments prior.
His skin was warm, his flesh hard. She traced the ridges of his muscles with a lump in her throat and an awareness between her thighs, each pulse of her heartbeat making the fang marks on her neck throb.
"You’re perfect," she breathed.
Az’s hands tightened on her, and the force of her want made her nearly dizzy—the fever in her blood worked in tandem with the heat of him to send her on a spiral of need, aching and burning.
She wasn’t sure of the exact moment their lips brushed, but in the space between breaths, he pressed his lips to hers sweetly, tasting her languidly. Like they had all the time in the world, when truly, they didn’t.
The storm raged on, and Luella felt it within her as he kissed her.
She was still untrained, fumbling, letting him take the lead, and he seemed to love that—leading her.
He did it with such care that she found herself willingly desperate to give up control to him.
Because she knew that he would treat her well, lead her well.
The sea battered against the ship as it rocked, and tendrils of sparking power snaked out from inside her. Invisible, as they fed her storm. She was too far gone to wonder if this was safe.
She gasped against his lips. Wind howled.
Her fingers curled against his chest. Lightning cracked ominously.
His lips moved over hers, his tongue reaching out to lick along the seam of her mouth, entreating her to part her lips. She did, gasping as his tongue tangled with hers, stroking along the roof of her mouth. She couldn’t draw in enough air. Her lungs were tight, head dizzy, limbs tingling.
His large hand shifted to cup her backside, over the feathers of her gown. His palm spanned her hips, and he forced her down slightly, the movement making her shift on his lap, pleasure sparking out from between her thighs.
She tore her slick mouth away from him. She sucked in air, feeling the salty tang of it mingling with the burnt sugar taste of the demon on her lips.
"We should stop," Az grumbled, but he did not release her. He held her tighter, like he never wanted to let her go.
Luella stared at her hands on his lower stomach, fingers trailing over the dips below his navel, where his trousers rested low on his hips. He flexed under her, and she shifted back, feeling a hardness pressing the curve of her backside.
"I don’t want to," she whispered, so low that the words were barely the pop of a soft syllable, the slight smack of her lips forming inaudible sounds.
She needed this. Needed to have her second experience of pleasure with her demon protector. She wanted him to chase away her nightmares, make her feel safe.