61. Freedom the End of the World
61
FREEDOM THE END OF THE WORLD
So fain I would come to thee!
And the water’s so bright in a still moonlight
As I look across the sea.
— WILLIAM ALLINGHAM, “ACROSS THE SEA”
M y power still pulsed with the rhythm of a wave as I reentered the darkness. My palms were wet, though I knew that as soon as they dried, this surge, the power of the shape, would pass. For now, though, it felt as though the power of everything I touched passed through me courtesy of the drops still clinging to my palms and fingers.
I had minutes. Maybe less until Lynch recovered himself enough to check on his partner and discovered Senni’s body on the floor of the cell, strewn over ancient bloodstains of centuries of torture.
I hoped the bard rotted in the visions the cell had to offer. I hope they drowned him in their misery with nothing to spare.
“Jonathan!” I called across the water. He had moved from where the light shone through the door I’d only managed to find on my fourth try. If this was indeed the remnants of an old passage grave, it was larger than any others I’d heard of—closer in scale to the hypogea in ancient Malta or the catacombs in Rome.
He was still here, though. Something else had led me through the dimly lit passages other than my skewed sense of direction. Something like a cord, a weaving of blue and amber that appeared to my mind’s eye. A bond, tenuous but real, visible now only because the water in my veins yearned for the fire in his.
“Cass?” Jonathan emerged, face drawn and cold, his starched white shirt stained and wrinkled. His glasses were gone.
“I’m here,” I said. “Your power?”
“Still gone.” He closed his eyes, as if in pain. “I can’t See anything. Could barely produce that light before, and I honestly think it was only because you were channeling yours somehow.”
Curious. I put that thought aside as I examined the water flowing between us. The underground river wasn’t particularly wide, but based on that impenetrable dark, I guessed it was at least as deep, and the current was moving quickly. It also explained why they would have put Jonathan on the other side of it. Water was the easiest way to keep a cat at bay—especially one with OCD and a known phobia.
“I’m coming.” Hurriedly, I kicked off my shoes and slid down the rock and into the water, hissing when the chill hit my bare legs. I had little more than my dress and the fisherman’s sweater, thinking to impress the Council, not about spelunking.
“No, don’t. It’s too dangerous. The water…” Jonathan shuddered. “There may be…things in there.”
I didn’t want to ask what kinds of creatures might reside in a river flowing through the bottom of an ancient gravesite. Even so, I wasn’t scared. The droplets on my hands buzzed, eager to join the power before us. Water would always be my safe place, a source of calm and control. The current would protect me if only I asked.
Shouts echoed from the corridor, and footsteps started down the stairs outside the cave’s entrance.
“No,” I said as I waded in further. “We have to go now .”
Two feet in, the bottom fell out as the water took me under. It struck through my heart, undoubtedly sourced directly from a glacier’s bosom. But twenty-nine years of surfing the waves of the Pacific had hardened me to this kind of cold.
Welcome, daughter , the river said. I’ve been waiting for you .
Help me to him , I asked as I tugged mentally on the bond linking me to Jonathan.
To my surprise, the current shifted and followed the cord directly to my mate.
“Cass!” Jonathan grabbed my arm and pulled me out, though he didn’t have to work that hard. The river was still helping too.
Thank you , I told it just before I pulled my feet to the bank’s edge.
Hurry , called a voice older than time.
“Gods, you’re soaked.”
“I’ll be fine.” I tugged on his collar, unable to stop myself, and kissed him, quick and hard. Relief and ever-present desire charged through it, even in a moment. “How did you get across anyway?” Frantically, I looked around, hoping in vain for a separate entrance, maybe. A mode of escape.
He gulped. “My father—his magic carried me.”
He didn’t have to say more than that. I could easily imagine those swirling shadows binding Jonathan and sending him across the water to this ledge, from which there was nowhere else to go.
“And he bound yours too?”
He nodded. “I would assume. His magic knows mine. The kinship allows him to suppress it, which means I can’t do much. But this…” His thumb brushed the water from my face. “There’s new power in you.”
“It’s borrowed.” I didn’t have time to explain the way the water had flowed through me, first from the vial, then through the river, which lingered on my hair and skin. But a thought occurred. “If you can feel it, can you use it?”
He frowned. “From you?”
“You can read my mind when you touch me. The water moves , Jonathan. Can you move things with it if you touch me?” I offered my still-wet palm.
His distaste was obvious, but tentatively, he set his hand in mine.
Disappointment hummed as he shook his head. “It’s not enough.”
Come . It wasn’t exactly a word I heard, but that voice—the river’s voice—beckoned just the same.
I leaned down and put my hand into it while keeping hold of Jonathan’s with the other. Please.
Power surged through me.
His eyes lit up. “My gods .”
“Can you do something now?”
“I…more than before. It’s incredible, Cass. I don’t know…so fluid. So reckless. I don’t know how to describe it. Is this what you feel when you’re in the water?”
“Jonathan!” This wasn’t the time for waxing poetic. “Can you get us out of here?”
He looked around with eyes like bursting stars. “I—no. No, it’s not the same. I can’t See the rock in the same way. There’s no way to move it, to ask it to change.”
And it was true. Through my own Sight, his own only only extended to the river—the one element that wouldn’t help us.
“There you are.”
Darkness fell across the doorway, crossing the spare bit of light that had lit Jonathan’s face. Caleb Lynch had returned, looking significantly better than before. Shadows spun and moved around his body, which had taken a more ethereal form than before but was somehow more stable than when he was fully present as flesh and bone.
“Naughty,” he said. “Leaving Perumal like that. Wouldn’t have thought you were capable, but it seems you have a few more surprises to reveal, Ms. Whelan. I’ll have to ask you and my son to come with me.”
The ledge under us started to move.
“Jonathan!” I cried as I stretched down for the water.
But it was out of reach.
We traveled up and over the current, floating toward the mass of shadow that spread, ready to welcome us both into its deadly embrace.
“No,” I said to myself. Then, more loudly: “NO.”
Then, before he could even think to protest, I wrapped an arm around Jonathan’s waist and used every bit of my strength to roll us both off the edge and into the water below.
The shadows screamed.
Power surged through me, the strength of a wave.
Please , I asked us. Protect us .
Rocks tumbled.
Darkness fell.
And the last thing I saw in that final tract of light was the back of the shadowed sorcerer, arched in pain and anger as the rocks crushed him into the earth.
Then darkness fell, and the river carried us away.
I don’t know how long we floated like that, chest to chest, legs trailing as the river took us deeper underground.
Jonathan held tightly to me, and though his fear never lessened, something closer to trust joined it as we both allowed the water’s will and power to take us where it would.
The darkness slowly gave way to a dim light ahead, beckoning us toward it. The current slowed as if it had finally come to its intended destination when we entered a vast underground chamber, its walls glistening with moisture. Jonathan and I were deposited onto solid ground, a smooth limestone slab large enough to accommodate us both at the water’s edge. The air was cool and damp, carrying with it scents of earth and moss.
We collapsed on the rock, hands about each other’s waists as we gasped for breath in the dark.
“Can you…can you see anything?” I didn’t mean magically. His glasses were long gone.
He looked down at me and smiled. “I’m only a bit near-sighted. I can see you perfectly.”
I exhaled. “That’s a relief.”
At the top of the cave, light pierced through cracks in the ceiling just enough to reveal traces of spirals and handprints on the walls. This place was old. Older than the tomb we’d explored with Rachel. The ancients of ancients had been here and had put their mark on it.
Jonathan squeezed my hand tightly, grounding us both. The bond pulsed with a newfound strength, a smoother ombre connection between amber and blue. One I’d certainly never Seen before.
“You divine secrets,” I said.
He turned his head and frowned. “In a way.”
“Then ask it,” I said. “Ask this place why we are here. There’s magic here. I can feel it. And the river wanted us to come here.”
“Or the river was just taking us away from my father.” Jonathan shook his head. “My questions only work on the living, Cass. You’re the one who divines from objects and reads memories from rock and stone. They won’t listen to me now.”
“But before—” I grabbed his hand and did my best to ignore the confusion in his touch.“Use the power you feel flowing through me if you can. Borrow its secrets. Look around and find the secrets of this cave. If you can find where the spells were laid, maybe I can undo them.”
“But—how—Cass, I?—”
“Just do it,” I said urgently. “Jonathan, honestly. Just do it.” I couldn’t tell him why, but something in me had shifted. The power in this place flowed through me in a way it hadn’t before. Speaking to me. Vibrating at my core.
I reached down to put my hand in the water, willing it to flow through me again. Come , I asked in that strange language I seemed to speak and understand without knowing how, exactly. It was a language of feelings, not words. Free us. Unbind yourself. Show me the knot so I may untie you .
But unlike before, there was no surge of power from the water. There was no response at all. The river would not speak to me.
“Look,” Jonathan said.
Light gleamed through a tiny hole at the top of the cave.
I turned with him. “Your magic?”
He shook his head. “Not. That’s still gone. I don’t know how he did it. I can feel it healing, but it will be some time. I used everything I had to block that entrance and keep them from following.”
I swallowed. “You did good.”
He looked away as he pushed himself up to sit. “Did I?”
It was a question, but not really. Full of so much hopelessness and self-loathing that it nearly broke my heart.
Unable to help myself, I crawled from the bank and into his lap, straddling his hips, then took his chin and turned his face to mine. “You did. You saved us. That power—I couldn’t do anything with it.”
He met my gaze, uncertainty flickering in his eyes before he finally nodded. “You are magnificent.”
“We’re magnificent.”
I was rewarded with a small, melancholy smile.
We sat with that for hours, clinging to each other as our clothes slowly dried, and we waited for Jonathan’s magic to return. The warmth of our bodies kept us from shivering too much, especially since, despite the chill of the water, the cave wasn’t horribly cold this far underground.
We sat long enough that eventually we drifted off, holding each other there on the rock.
Sometime later, I awoke to find Jonathan watching me, his hand gently brushing my hair down my spine.
I sat up. “Anything?”
He shook his head. “No change.”
I tried not to let it pull me under. A touch of the water told me the river was still silent too.
There was nothing left to do but wait.
Jonathan brushed an errant bit of hair out of my face, taking a moment to rub his thumb over my bottom lip. Then he leaned in as if it were the most natural thing in the world and kissed me. A chaste kiss, though still filled with the longing that was always present there. The constant desire for more. Even in this cave, dark and lonely, there was always that.
Fear.
Dread.
Love.
Lust.
Something stirred in both of us, here at the end of the world. Something primal.
“Well, if I have to be stuck here, I suppose it’s best with my…mate,” I said.
His mouth curved into a smile against mine. Relief flowed through him. “Are you accepting it?”
I touched my forehead to his. “Sort of feels like I have to.”
“It’s my fault. You weren’t ready.” He sighed. “I can’t hide a thing from you if you don’t let me, you know. I’m surprised you haven’t figured that out.”
Knowledge welled in my heart. I did know. Maybe I had known from the beginning. Maybe even before, when I had seen him in my dreams.
“There’s nothing more to hide,” he murmured into my shoulder. “Not anymore.”
I lay my cheek on his shoulder and closed my eyes. “We’re going to die here, aren’t we?”
He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. Acknowledgment shivered through his body, through my cheek, my hands, my chest.His hands drew me even closer.
“Cass,” he whispered.
“I’ve never been afraid of death,” I admitted quietly. “I grew up with it.”
The truth hung heavy in the air between us, a stark reminder of our mortality in this unforgiving place. We sat together in the cave, surrounded by ancient markings and the lingering presence of powerful magic. Despite the uncertainty of our fate, there was a strange sense of peace and warmth that settled over me as I leaned into Jonathan’s embrace.
If this was how it would end, it seemed right.
His fingers traced gentle patterns on my back, a silent reassurance that we were in this together, no matter what. I could feel the weight of his unspoken words pressing against my skin, a mix of love, fear, and resignation. In the stillness of that moment, a bond stronger than any individual magic tethered us to each other.
“I want you to know…” I started before the magnitude choked the words in my throat. But it couldn’t do that to my thoughts. How grateful I am for everything you’ve done.
His eyes wouldn’t meet mine. Uncertainty flowed through his skin. Not sure why. You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me.
No, I’d probably be somewhere much worse.
That was when his gaze found mine. “You can’t be serious.”
“Why not? Do you really think your father wouldn’t have found me eventually? Without your help, I’d have had no understanding of who I am. Who Penny was. What my magic was or what I could do. I would have been taken straight to these t-t-torture chambers and if I had managed to get away, I’d still be at the bottom of this river, left to d-d-die al-lone.” I stuttered as more pending tears choked my throat. “If anyone should feel guilty, it’s me. You’d never have gotten dragged into any of this if it hadn’t been for that will, and then having to take me to Inis?—”
Another sudden kiss stole my breath completely. Stop .
But—
There is nowhere else I would rather be than here with you . His tongue touched mine, and then he inhaled deeply as if trying to memorize my scent. I think I knew the first time I saw you that I would follow you to the ends of the earth. It fucking terrified me. But I have no regrets, Cass. Not one.
He nuzzled my face in a gesture so unbearably tender, I couldn’t help the tear that trickled down my cheek. Nor could I prevent the other idea that crossed my mind and stuck.
Not even one?
He froze when the idea flashing through my head passed through his. “You can’t be serious.”
I hiccuped back a half-sob, half-laugh. “I suppose it’s a bit cliché. Sex at the end of the world.” If there were enough light, I was sure he would see twin red spots appearing on the apples of my cheeks.
Humor curled the corners of his mouth. He did think it was funny but equally marveled at my ability to laugh at our demise.
I dropped another kiss. I couldn’t seem to stop. “Think about it. What else do we have to do but wait for death to come?”
The kiss was returned and deepened considerably. Desire shot through him. He wanted me. He’d never stopped wanting me. Probably never would, even if it was just for our last moments.
But.
“Cass,” he whispered. “I won’t do this to you. I will not be responsible for your end.”
“I’m not asking you for that. I’m asking you to complete me. To let me complete you.” I clasped his face. “Mates are magic split, aren’t they? Looking for its other half. All my life, I’ve felt incomplete. I thought it was loneliness, but I was wrong. It was emptiness.” I pressed a kiss to his lips, then another, and another. “If we’re going to die here, I don’t want to die knowing I could have been whole. Knowing you could have been too. Please, my mate , my…love. Please .”
Jonathan’s hands trembled against my cheeks, his gaze searching mine for any hint of doubt or hesitation. But there was none to be found. At that moment, with the weight of our impending doom pressing down on us, I felt a sense of clarity unlike any I had ever experienced. This was right. This was true.
As our lips met in a fierce and desperate union, magic surged, pulling the cord between us taut and strong. There was no room for fear or doubt in this shared moment of raw vulnerability and unspoken longing. It was just us.
When we finally pulled away, breathless and dizzy with emotion, Jonathan’s eyes met mine. “Are you sure?”
I nodded, my heart pounding. “Don’t make me beg.”
We watched each other through the darkness, sitting in our fear and desperation. Through it, though, a sliver of hope seemed to cut through the encroaching shadows. Our essence would be left here for someone else to find. A vision that might fuel another in the darkest moments of their life.
Maybe that legacy was our purpose here after all.
“Jonathan.” I brushed back his hair, so soft and mussed.
“Cassandra.” My name tasted like fresh water and sorrow on his lips.
His hands trembled as they pushed the still-soaked sweater from my shoulders, then found the hem of my dress. Urgency fueled his movements as he lifted the fabric over my head, then made quick work of my undergarments, baring my body to that hungry gaze. A savage gaze.
His eyes blazed, a hunter’s in the dark, as he traced my nipples with his fingertips, which were quickly replaced by gentle flicks of his tongue. My hands slipped into the damp thickets of his hair, urging him closer.
Want you , his thoughts echoed again and again. Need you .
Love you .
Or did I only imagine that as he briefly set me aside to peel off his own wet layers? Because then it was just us on that plane of stone, an ancient sort of altar made by the essence of time. It was just the water and the earth to witness what we were to each other. Words seemed to dissolve into the bond, inadequate to the task of expressing everything flowing through us.
It had never felt like this before, when the unwanted thoughts of previous partners had been so distasteful, so utterly disruptive to my pleasure to the point where pain had often intervened instead. I wasn’t sure where my mind ended and Jonathan’s began. Every scratch, touch, and kiss came from a place of raw instinct here in the depths of the earth, in one of the places where once, we were in fact animals and nothing else.
Somehow, he anticipated my wants before I could articulate them to myself; even more miraculously, I seemed to be doing the same for him.
The way his fingers explored the space between my legs.
The way my hand knew the shape of his erection.
The way his mouth had already memorized the shape of my lips.
The way our bodies melted together as he slid between my thighs.
The savage in me connected with the one in him. Together, we formed a palimpsest of instinct and desire, a million layers of everything we were and would ever be, indistinguishably aligned.
A perfect mille-feuille, delectable art, unbearably sweet.
Balanced on his elbows as he hovered above me, Jonathan took my face between my hands, thumbs sweeping across my cheekbones with the adoration of a painter’s brush. His gaze found mine again, wide and full of something like love.
Are you sure ? Even his thoughts quavered with need.
My hands memorized the tight sinews of his thighs, buttocks, and back. Forever .
It didn’t matter that the word had no meaning when we were facing the end. I couldn’t contemplate death in a moment like this, when I was so full of life. Especially when Jonathan’s kiss engulfed me completely, our bodies fully joined, and any remaining barrier between us disappeared for good. As he found my darkest spaces, swelling and holding me closer, his thoughts found mine like a rope pulled tight.
You are mine now , he informed me as he thrust deeper. Filled me completely.
I stretched, eager to hold him there. Words were too weak to express everything I was feeling.
Shock at the absolute inevitability of each other.
Wonder, then, that either of us had a mate at all.
Joy, that it should be each other.
And then, at last, acceptance.
It was like the final turn of a key in a lock.
There was no end. There was no beginning. There was no me or him, just one soul, one magic, reunited at last after eons split.
It expanded, embracing both of us, filling the cave with light and maybe love and something else I couldn’t name but knew just the same for the way it choked my heart full and grew into a song that poured into the rocks and stone and earth around us.
“Cassandra!” My name turned into a cry, a yowl that shook from the earth to the heavens beyond.
Our bodies poured into each other as the magic shot through us both, then clapped with a sudden explosion that exiled the darkness with light.
Our light.
My hand fell to the water’s edge, fingers dipped to the surface as he shouted my name again and bit my neck, my shoulder, anywhere he could.
I Saw the moon.
I Saw the stars.
I Saw every past, present, and future there was and might be for us in every dimension.
Together, we sailed through them all and back to each other as heaven blew us a farewell kiss.
Gratitude swept through me at the end.
Gratitude for his safety.
And that I should have known him at all.
My magic—our magic—returned to us like a blanket on your shoulders when you’ve come in from a cold winter’s night.
Freedom was all I felt as death took us both.
And really, isn’t freedom all a soul could ever want?