Chapter 17 #2
He fell quiet, and not knowing what to say, I rubbed soothing circles on his back. We sat in silence for a few minutes, and while I had a ton of questions, I waited for him to continue. When he didn’t, curiosity got the better of me.
“What happened when you left the home? How did you go from that to where you are now?”
Ben sat back to look at me, my hand dropping to rest just above his ass. His shirt had ridden up, and my fingers found the warm skin of his lower back where I continued to rub circles.
“I worked my ass off at school. Got top results and won a college scholarship. That’s where I met Jake, and it went from there.”
I’d never met Jake Morley, but from everything my dad had said about the other business partner of Morley and McScroodge Properties, I didn’t think I would have liked him very much.
Dad didn’t. He’d always found Ben tolerable, but I’d often overheard Dad telling my mom how Jake was always making crude comments, particularly about women tenants, Bella included.
She’d told me that about a week after moving into the apartment she rented from Jake and Ben, Jake had turned up on her doorstep to check everything was okay, and had propositioned her, telling her that she could have a free month if she spread her legs for him.
But I wanted to know what Ben thought of him. How he could have been friends with someone that vile for as long as he had. “What was Jake like?”
He swallowed another mouthful of beer, and I copied him. “He was an asshole.”
Wide-eyed, I stared at him. “Wasn’t he your friend?”
“I thought he was, but now, I’m not so sure.
” His sorrowful eyes met mine, and the overwhelming urge to wrap my arms around him and hold him against me flowed through my veins.
“I owe everything to Jake. If it wasn’t for him, I would never have been able to start my own business.
I was the brains, he was the money. But truthfully?
I put up with so much shit from him, and there were days when I genuinely hated him. ”
My brows furrowed. “Why did you put up with him for so long?”
Ben’s gaze met mine, a world of hurt held in his dark eyes.
“Because he was the only person I had in my life and I didn’t want to lose him.
” He looked away, and when he spoke again, it was barely audible, as if he was speaking to himself.
“I didn’t want to lose him, but keeping him in my life meant I lost myself.
” His gaze met mine again. “He once told me that if he ever discovered that I preferred cock over pussy, he’d have to re-evaluate our friendship. ”
A wave of anger pumped through me. I couldn’t begin to imagine having to hide who I truly was around my friends from fear of judgement.
Jake never deserved Ben’s friendship if he couldn’t accept him for who he was.
“He was an asshole. I don’t wish to speak ill of the dead, but I’m glad he isn’t around anymore. ”
His head bobbed as if he were nodding his agreement before he drained the rest of his beer. Once it was empty, he put the bottle on the table, and the two of us fell silent for several beats before he shifted to look at me again. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“The night you broke in here, you weren’t alone, were you?”
I almost choked on the mouthful of beer I’d just taken. Of all questions, I wasn’t expecting that. “What…uh…what makes you say that?”
“Remember my neighbor, Gary? He was the one who called the cops. He reported seeing a woman spray-painting my driveway before he saw her and a guy break into the house. Who was she?” I pursed my lips, but Ben continued with a laugh.
“It’s okay, Bug. I think it’s safe to say that I won’t be going to the police about any of this. ”
My brain raced. I didn’t want to throw Bella under the bus, but he’d been so honest about his past, and something in my gut told me I could trust him. “I was with my friend, Bella.”
His brow lifted. “Bella Matthews?”
I nodded. “We were drunk, and she was furious with you ‘cos you’d evicted her. She had this stupid idea about teaching you a lesson. I didn’t think she would do anything like what she did, but when we got here…” I waved my hand around, indicating the mess she’d made.
“Was it Bella who branded me a murderer?” I dropped my gaze as a rush of guilt pounded through me. My deafening silence gave him his answer. “Do you think that? That I’m a murderer?”
At hearing the devastation in his voice, my head whipped up. “No, God, no. Of course I don’t. And I don’t think Bella really believed it; she was just so damn mad.”
Ben released a heavy breath, and tension seemed to ooze from his frame.
Several beats passed before he finally spoke.
“She caused all the damage, didn’t she? Not you?
” I didn’t answer, but he must have read my reply from the look on my face because he muttered a curse with a glint of anger in his eyes.
“Christ, Bug. You’re doing all this work for free, paying to fix the damage when it isn’t your mess to fix. Why the hell would you do that?”
I shrugged, the answer obvious to me. “Bella’s my friend.”
He leaned back as if I’d slapped him, the idea of helping someone out a foreign concept to him. Shaking his head, he turned his face away from me. “You should hate me. I evicted your friend ‘cos I got greedy, and now I’m making you pay for it.”
I grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at me.
“I don’t hate you, Ben. Far from it. I’ll admit I was pissed at you to start with, but I’m not any more.
Not now that I’m getting to know the real you.
The man who hides behind a cold exterior because of all the shit you’ve had to face in this life.
” I released his chin but held his gaze.
“You’re not a bad man, Ben. I get why you push people away, but if they got to see the side of you that I get to see, I think they’d also realize that you’re not a bad man. ”
His mouth opened and closed several times as if he couldn’t find the words to say. Needing a drink to cool the thrum of blood racing through my veins, I chugged the rest of my drink, putting it on the table next to his once I’d finished.
Not expecting his hand to rest on my thigh, I almost flinched at his touch. He inhaled a shaky breath before he spoke. “Bella’s lucky to have a friend like you, Bug. I’d give anything to have that in my life,” he said softly, almost remorsefully.
I grinned, wanting to break the heavy atmosphere that had sealed around us. “Well, I’m kinda enjoying hanging out with you, so you’ve got a friend right here.”
And maybe one day, we can be more.
Of course, I kept that thought to myself.
The smile Ben gave me sent a fire through my already overheated body, which traveled straight to my heart. If I didn’t already know it, that would have been the moment I realized that in the short space of time of knowing Ben, I was falling for him.
“You want another beer?” he asked, changing the subject as he stood.
“Nah, I only ever allow myself one beer if I’m driving.”
“You can stay here for the night,” he replied nonchalantly. At seeing my eyes almost bug out of my head, he quickly added, “I mean, I’ve got space. There are spare bedrooms.”
I bit my lip in a bid to not let my disappointment show that he didn’t want me in the same bed as his.
But I wasn’t ready for the night to be over.
My van was already parked outside with all the equipment I needed for the next day, and I had a spare set of overalls.
I would have been driving home tonight, just to drive back in the morning.
Grabbing the empty bottles, I stood too. “Go on then, I’ll have another.”