Chapter 24
Tristan
At some point in the night, Ben had snuggled up behind me, his arm draped over my waist, and his face nuzzled into the crook of my shoulder. A devilish grin tugged at my lips at feeling his hard cock pressed against my ass.
It seemed I wasn’t the only one who suffered from morning wood when we were in bed together.
Shifting slowly so I didn’t wake him, I rolled him onto his back, his breaths still deep and even. I wiggled my way under the covers as blood traveled to my cock, and I positioned myself between his spread legs. Testing to see how deep in sleep he was, I flicked my tongue lightly against his crown.
He didn’t move.
Wrapping my hand around the base of his shaft in a loose grip, I sucked the head of his cock into my mouth. His hips bucked, shoving his cock further in as he let out a wanton groan. Abruptly, the covers were ripped away as Ben’s blazing eyes gazed down at me.
“Fuck, Bug. Is this my new morning wake-up call?” I managed a nod before I took him right to the back of my throat, sucking hard. “Jesus fucking Christ.”
He lowered a hand to wrap in my hair, while the other fisted the sheets beside him. Teasing him with a slow pace, my own cock grew harder underneath me, and my hips rolled in an attempt to find friction.
A deep growl rumbled in Ben’s chest. “Stop fucking teasing me, Bug,” he hissed through gritted teeth.
Peeking up at him, his features were a mix of frustration and lust. Fuck, he was cute when he was like this; needy and desperate for me to make him come.
With a slow lick of my tongue along the length of his shaft, I sucked his crown when I reached it, only for his grip in my hair to tighten. “Now, Tristan. I need more.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at his use of my actual name.
He really did get antsy when he needed to come.
Giving in, I quickened my pace, his deep groans echoing around the room.
As I found my pace, I ground my hips against the bed sheets, the friction of the material helping to ease the ache that had settled in my balls.
Without warning, Ben tugged me off his cock with his grip on my head. Confused, I looked up at him. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” His brows furrowed before he released my hair to swipe a hand down his face. “I…uh…remember the first time I sucked your cock?”
“Mmm,” I replied, stroking his cock now that I was reassured he wasn’t having a moment of doubt. “What about it?”
He cleared his throat. “You asked me to…uh…use my fingers.”
“I remember.”
Squeezing his eyes closed, an amused smirk graced my face when he said, “Will you…will you do that to me?”
Holy fucking fuck.
How I didn’t blow my load at hearing him ask me that, I never knew.
“Open your eyes,” I instructed. Hesitantly, he cracked his eyes open.
“You want me to finger fuck your ass while I suck your cock, baby?” His breath hitched, and his cock pulsed in my hand.
I had my answer before he even opened his mouth.
“Does that turn you on? Thinking about how good it will feel to have my finger in your ass?”
To tease him a little bit more, I licked my tongue against his slit, lapping up the pre-cum that had trickled out of him.
“Fuck yes,” he whined, his hips lifting as he sought relief from his straining cock.
“What about my cock? Ever thought what it would feel like if I fucked you?”
An incoherent sound left his lips. “Christ, Bug, if you keep saying things like that, I’m gonna come down your throat too fucking quickly.”
His hips rolled, pushing his cock into my hand, telling me he needed me to move. This was definitely a conversation we’d be coming back to.
Lowering my mouth around him again, I took him to the back of my throat before releasing, only to do it again. Once I’d done that a few times, I pulled off completely to stick my middle finger in my mouth.
Ben’s gaze followed my every move as I swirled my tongue around my digit, getting it as wet as possible. When I pulled it free, he sucked in a shaky breath.
“I’m going to take this slow, baby,” I said, reassuring him. “If it gets too much, just tell me.”
I wanted to make this good for him. I wanted this to be something he enjoyed, not because it was something he felt he had to do.
I had experienced when someone went in too quick, and it nearly scarred me for life.
I was determined to make this as pleasurable for Ben as possible. “Now, bend your knees for me.”
Adjusting my position as Ben did as I asked, I wrapped my mouth back around his cock, gliding up and down several times. As I did, I ran my fingers along his crack, finding his hole. Increasing the pressure of my sucking around his cock, I pressed the tip of my middle finger into his ass.
He clenched around me, not letting me go in any further. “Relax, baby,” I urged, my hot breath fanning over his cock. “Don’t clench, or it’ll hurt.” Swirling my tongue around his crown, I pushed my finger in a little more, but there was still resistance. “Come on, baby, let me in.”
“It feels strange,” he replied through gritted teeth.
“Want me to stop?”
“No,” he rushed out. “Please, don’t stop. Keep going.”
This time, he relaxed his muscles as I pushed my finger in further at the same time as using my other hand to stroke his length. Slowly, I kept pushing until I was knuckle deep.
“Oh, fucking hell,” Ben groaned, the hint of discomfort disguised by pleasure.
“You’re doing so well, baby,” I cooed, rubbing my hips against the bedding, needing my own release.
The sight of my finger lost in Ben’s ass while his cock was millimeters from my mouth was almost too much. Ben’s breath turned to pants as I resumed my licking and sucking around his cock, keeping my finger still but pressing firmly against his prostate.
“Fuck! I’m coming!”
That was all the warning I got before hot spurts of come filled my mouth, setting off my own release as I erupted over the bed sheets. Greedily drinking every drop of him, I licked his cock clean. Only then did I remove my finger.
Ben yanked me up with the grip on my hair, pulling me onto him before flipping me onto my back and kissing me deeply.
“Fuck, Bug,” he wheezed. “I never knew it could feel like that.”
“Now you know why I like being the bottom.”
Grinning, he collapsed onto his back, and after a minute of us staring at the ceiling, his head lolled to the side, meeting my eyes once more. “Can I ask you something?”
I rolled to face him. “You can ask me anything, Ben. I’ve got nothing to hide.”
“How many guys have you been with?”
“Two.”
His brows lifted. “Two?”
A chuckle left my lips. “You thought there’d be more?”
He shifted to mirror my position. “No. I…” he sighed, and a shy smile curled his lips. “Yeah. I thought there would be more. You’re so confident with knowing what you want and asking for it.”
“I don’t think it has anything to do with how many partners I’ve had. It’s more about being comfortable with who I’m with,” I replied, raising my hand to rest it on his hip.
He didn’t reply for a moment, just stared back at me like he was deep in thought until he eventually said, “I’m comfortable with you.”
“That’s good. I want you to be comfortable, and I want you to know that if there’s something you want to try, then you only have to ask.”
His mouth opened and closed several times, but no words came out. It was almost like he was giving himself a pep talk to say what he wanted to say. I didn’t speak, giving him time to find his voice.
“I have thought about you fucking me,” he said, not quite able to meet my eyes. I tried to ignore the twitch in my cock. The thought of fucking Ben was an instant turn-on. Before I could form a coherent response, he continued. “Is that something you enjoy? You know, topping a guy?”
Moving my hand from his hip, I lifted it to press my thumb under his chin, making him look at me. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never done it. I’ve always been the bottom.”
His eyes widened. “You’ve never…”
“No.”
“How come?”
I released his chin to replace my hand on his hip.
“Well, the first guy I was with was a one-night stand. I never saw him again after we fucked. And then my ex, Jase, it was never something we discussed. He had a lot of trouble accepting his sexuality; it’s what broke us apart.
He treated me like a dirty little secret, and for a long time, I let him.
I didn’t want to lose him, so I was happy to go along with whatever he wanted.
And what he wanted was to ignore me in public, but behind closed doors, he wanted to fuck me.
He never suggested switching, and neither did I.
” I paused, rolling my eyes. It still bothered me how much I let Jase get away with during our relationship.
“Hell, it took him months to even give me a blow job; he thought sucking another man’s cock made him less masculine.
I think he would have vanished off the face of the earth if I suggested me fucking him. ”
Ben snorted. “He sounds like a dick.” At my sigh, he added, “Sorry, Bug. I didn’t mean to be rude about him.”
“No, it’s not that. He was a dick,” I replied, lowering my gaze. “I just…it took a lot to get over him. Not because I loved him or anything like that, but because it really knocked my confidence. After Jase, I promised myself I wouldn’t be anyone’s dirty little secret again.”
I cursed myself as soon as the words left my mouth, and I couldn’t meet Ben’s intense stare. A thick tension descended between us as unspoken words hung in the air. I hadn’t meant to imply that I was Ben’s dirty little secret, but wasn’t that what I was?
I’d vowed to myself never to be in this position again, and yet, here I was. Only, this time, it was worse. I never loved Jase.
Surprising me, Ben shifted forward so our chests were flush, and our lips a hairsbreadth apart.
“And you shouldn’t be, Bug. You shouldn’t be someone’s dirty little secret, because you deserve so much fucking more than that.
” His eyes darted between mine, and my heart raced.
Nervous anticipation gathered in my stomach, hope blooming that this was going to be the moment when things changed between us.
Ben swallowed before sucking in a deep breath, his hand lifting to cup my cheek.
“I don’t want you to feel like you’re my dirty little secret, but at the same time, I’m still processing my own shit.
I like you, Bug. I like you a lot, and I don’t want to lose you, but those ghosts from my past still haunt me.
I’m trying not to let them, but some days, they won’t go away. ”
He paused, and my mind churned with everything he’d said. The hope blooming in my chest that something more could develop between us was growing to epic proportions. Until he continued.
“I just need time. I’m not ready to tell the world that I’m gay.
” At my frown, he added, “It’s not that I’m ashamed of my sexuality, but for so long, I believed there was something wrong with me, and that being attracted to another man was disgusting.
I’m trying to undo the damage that people from my past have caused, but it’s not going to happen overnight.
I don’t know how long I need, and I understand if you don’t want to wait, Bug.
I won’t lie, I’ll be devastated if you walk away.
You’ve helped me learn so much about myself.
But I would understand if you decided you’ve waited long enough.
As I said, you deserve to be so much more than someone’s dirty little secret. ”
The hope deflated. He wasn’t saying we would never be more than what we were now, but it wasn’t something that would change any time soon. That didn’t mean I was ready to walk away, despite the nagging little voice in my ear reminding me that Jase always used to say he needed more time.
Leaning forward, I brushed my lips against Ben’s in a soft kiss. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. I’m staying right here until you’re ready.”
The question was, how much time was I willing to give?