Chapter 37
Tristan
Tears glittered in my mom’s eyes as she straightened my bowtie, a happy grin on her face. “Oh, Tris, I’m so proud of you,” she said, stepping back to check out my outfit.
I grabbed her hand and squeezed it, trying to hold back my own tears. If I made it through the day without crying, it would be a miracle. Not only was it my favorite day of the year, but it was also my wedding day.
“Thanks, Mom,” I replied, kissing her cheek. “You look beautiful.”
She was walking me down the aisle, and had opted to wear a silver dress that had swirls of white silk sewn into the material, reminding me of icicles. It was the perfect dress to keep with the winter theme of our wedding.
Ben and I hadn’t wanted a big day, but my mom and Bella had other ideas.
The two of them had nagged Ben and me to let them organize the wedding, and we’d reluctantly agreed, with two stipulations that were non-negotiable: the wedding was to be held on Christmas Day—a day that meant so much to us—and the wedding was to be held at Snowscape Lodge.
The mountainside resort had become an instant favorite of ours when Ben took me there for a surprise birthday treat. Surrounded by snow and miles from civilization, it was the perfect location for where we wanted our intimate wedding.
But what had started as small and intimate had resulted in half the town of Henderson being invited, thanks to my mom and Bella getting carried away. Still, we were getting what we wanted. We were getting married.
“What about us?” Ivy asked, fluttering her lashes at her reflection in the mirror.
She and Holly were bridesmaids, along with Bella, who was currently having the final touches of her makeup done in another room.
“You both look gorgeous, but you need to wear your jackets,” I replied, scowling.
They were wearing matching silk silver dresses that showed off their figures a little too much for my liking. Not that I needed to worry about Holly; she was only fourteen, but she had a sensible head on her shoulders.
Unlike Ivy, who had recently discovered that boys existed and seemed to have a different boyfriend each week. No wonder Dad had started losing his hair.
“Thanks, Tris,” Holly beamed, snapping a selfie to no doubt send to her girlfriend, Carly, who was with her parents somewhere in the lodge, waiting for the wedding to start.
I couldn’t help but grin fondly at my sisters. Holly’s confidence had come on leaps and bounds in the last two years, and I knew Ben was responsible for a lot of that. He’d helped her tell our parents that she liked girls, something she’d been worried about for longer than she let on.
As for Ivy, she was just as sassy as she’d always been, but since Holly had admitted to liking girls, Ivy had become her fierce protector. If anyone upset Holly, they’d have hell to pay in the form of a fiery Ivy.
A soft knock tapped against the door, and Mom answered. My brows lifted when my dad stepped inside, looking smart in his black suit, but his brows furrowed in worry. He was Ben’s best man and was supposed to be helping Ben get ready for today.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked, a pang of worry shooting through me.
The worried expression fell from his features, replaced with a look of affection as he took in my black tux. “Tris, you look-” he broke off, thick emotion creeping into his voice. “You look great, Son.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I replied, taking several steps to stop in front of him as a knot twisted my stomach. “What’s going on? Is Ben okay?”
He shot a nervous glance at my mom before looking back at me. “Ben’s okay. Well, no, he’s not. That’s why I’m here. He’s a nervous wreck.”
I blinked at him, unsure whether to laugh or run to Ben’s room. “What do you mean he’s a nervous wreck?”
His eyes darted to my mom again. “Tris, he’s a mess. He’s convinced you aren’t going to turn up today. He hardly slept last night, and I think the only way to get him to calm down is if you go and see him.”
Now I knew why he kept looking at my mom. Neither Ben nor I had wanted to spend the night apart, but my mom had yet again insisted we followed tradition and slept separately. Why I had agreed, I didn’t know. I hated sleeping without him next to me.
“Give me your room key,” I replied, holding my hand out to my dad.
“Wait!” Mom said, attempting to block Dad from handing his keycard over. “The bride can’t see the groom before the wedding.”
I scowled at her. “Neither of us are brides, Mom.”
“But still! It might be bad luck.”
Rolling my eyes, I grabbed the card and avoided her attempt to grab my arm. “I’ll take that chance,” I threw over my shoulder as I slammed the door behind me and marched to the elevator.
I cursed my mom as the elevator rose several levels, and as soon as the doors opened, I stomped to room 8143. All night, I’d been tempted to sneak up to his room, but neither of us had wanted to upset my mom; she’d put so much into planning our perfect day.
And now, Ben was suffering.
Pressing the card against the fob, I pushed the door open, and my gaze immediately landed on Ben.
He was sitting on the bed, hunched over as he stared at the floor with his hands on his knees.
He’d managed to get as far as putting his shirt and pants on, but he was missing his shoes, socks, and bowtie.
At the sound of the door opening, his head lifted. Seeing who it was, he shot up and was in front of me in a heartbeat. “Bug.” His hands grabbed my hips as if I were his lifeline. “What are you doing here? Please don’t tell me you’ve come to call the wedding off?”
“Of course I’m not here to call the wedding off. I can’t wait to marry you, you maniac.” Tension oozed from his body, his eyes squeezing closed before they opened again, this time shining in relief. “Dad said you were going out of your mind. What’s happened?”
He sighed heavily. “I had a dream last night.”
“Like before?”
He’d told me about the visions he’d had a couple of years ago, convinced that they were real. Maybe they were, I didn’t know for sure, but dream or vision, they’d been a huge factor in Ben opening his heart and changing his life. And mine.
“No. Not this time. It was definitely just a dream.” He sucked in a shaky breath, his gaze dropping to the floor. “You said you didn’t love me.”
“Baby.” Using my thumb, I tilted his chin up to make him look at me.
The sorrow in his eyes broke my heart, and I shifted forward to rest my head against his, knowing exactly what I needed to say to him to help.
“The first time I met you, I wanted to hate you.” His eyes narrowed on me, and he opened his mouth to reply, but I put my finger over his lips.
“Just listen. I wanted to hate you, but I couldn’t.
I don’t know what it was about you, but I couldn’t get you out of my head.
You fascinated me, and I was determined to see past the walls you’d built around yourself.
When we started spending more time together, and you started to let those walls down, I discovered you had a good, kind heart.
But it was fragile, and I hated that you didn’t feel you could trust anyone.
” I paused to stroke my thumb over his cheek.
“But you found it in yourself to take a chance on me. You gave me your heart, trusting that I would look after it and keep it safe, and I’m so glad you did because it’s led us to where we are now. ”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat, hoping that I could make it through the next part of the vows I was supposed to be saving for later without letting my happy tears fall.
“So I stand in front of you today to tell you that I love you, and that you will never have to worry about your heart being broken, because I vow to you that for as long as I live, I will keep it safe with mine. I love you, Ben McScroodge, and I can’t wait to become your husband. ”
Tears shimmered in his eyes, and for several seconds, we stared at each other, our hearts beating in rhythm.
“Was that your vows?” he finally asked, pulling his head away from mine.
“Yeah. I know I was supposed to save them for later, but I couldn’t hold them in any longer, not when I needed you to know how I feel about you. How could you ever think that I wouldn’t show today, baby?”
He shook his head gently. “Maybe because I still don’t think I deserve you.”
I pressed my lips against his. “Maybe you need to start believing that you do.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes, and I knew he’d spend the rest of his life believing he didn’t deserve me.
I’d just have to work hard to prove that he did.
“Can I tell you my vows?” he said with a hint of hesitation in his voice as if he was worried I would say no.
I grinned at him. “Hell yes.”
He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. “I wish I could remember what I’d written without needing this like you just did.”
I stopped him from unfolding the paper. “What I said wasn’t what I’d written down. It was what I wanted you, and only you to know.”