Chapter 19
Aric
IT’S SUNDAY NIGHT, AND I find myself standing at the bottom of the staircase that leads up to the astronomy tower. Again. I avoided this place for years, but recently, it’s come back to haunt me.
I clench my fingers into fists and stare up at the constellation etched above the doorway.
Why does everyone like this tower so much?
I don’t get it. If I was supposed to be in the sky, I’d have wings.
Dragons have wings. Maybe that’s why he wanted to meet here.
And maybe I need to stop wasting time and start climbing those stairs. Or at least trying to.
I take a deep steadying breath. Come on. I can do this. Then I pass through the doorway, put my boot on the first step, and start to climb.
To distract myself from the ascension, I think of Poppy. Of that shimmery makeup she wore yesterday. Of the way that golden leaf fell into her hair.
Of the kiss.
It was soft, almost hesitant. But it was so much more meaningful than most of the kisses I’ve had. Something about it felt so real. And when Poppy leaned into me and let her tongue barely brush my bottom lip . . .
A tingle of heat goes through my stomach, and my trousers grow a bit tight at the reminder.
No. Not the time or place. Nope.
I push that memory down, saving it for when I’m alone in my dorm room later. Right now, I need to get up this damn staircase.
Pausing to glance out one of the windows lining the tower’s exterior wall is a terrible, terrible mistake. The ground feels so far away, and imagining myself falling from this height makes my knees wobble like the vanilla pudding served at dinner tonight.
And yup, now I’m having to sink down to sit on a stair, just like I did last time I was here, when I tried—and failed—to meet Poppy in the tower for our first tutoring session.
I’ve really gotta start telling people no.
But I don’t want to be afraid. I just don’t understand why it’s so hard.
I put my head between my knees, trying to ease the nausea rising inside me. I wish I had one of those puckerbites. The one Poppy gave me helped so much. But at least no one’s around right now to see me huddled in the stairwell, struggling to climb the rest of the way to the astronomy dome.
Raelan is probably already up there. Is he gonna be pissed if I don’t show up? I could just sit here and wait for him to come down. But then he might not want to help me, and he’s already going out of his way as is.
I groan and push my fingers into my hair. I never thought a fear of heights would hold me back so much.
Okay, I need to get it together, stop letting my mind run away with me.
My lungs expand as I drag a deep breath in through my nose, then let it out in a sigh. I do it again, then again, trying to calm the frantic rhythm of my heart. Then I close my eyes, feel the cool stone against the backs of my thighs as I sit on the stair, and remind myself why I’m here.
I asked Poppy to the ball, and she said yes.
And the look in her eyes when she smiled down at me might as well have been glimmer dust—a powdered hallucinogen that makes everything look like it’s sparkling, like you’re trapped inside a big glittering gemstone.
I’ve only used it once, at a party a couple years ago, but I felt so fucked-up afterward that I told myself I’d never do it again.
Poppy’s smile, though, is a drug I’m more than happy to indulge in. And when I pull her onto the ballroom floor at that ball, I want to see that smile, and I want to be able to lead her through a dance without tripping all over myself or stepping on her little feet.
The thought of accidentally crushing her toes under my foot makes me cringe.
There’s no way I can let that happen. Which means I need to get my ass off this stair and into the astronomy dome.
Another wave of nausea starts to creep up on me, but I take a deep breath and push it down.
Just imagine Poppy in her dress, I tell myself as I balance against the stone wall while easing to my feet.
What color will it be? Pink? Maybe purple?
I take another step, along with another steadying breath.
She might wear that glittery makeup again.
And I wouldn’t even care if it got all over me.
Another step, another breath. She might let me kiss her again, right there in the middle of the dance floor.
Using this method of focusing on Poppy and nothing else, I keep climbing the spiraling staircase, one agonizing step at a time.
When my boots kiss the top step, I pause, sucking in a deep breath like I’m finally coming up for air. But it’s kind of the opposite—because now I’m hundreds of feet in the air, exactly where I don’t want to be.
But I’m quickly distracted as I walk-stumble through the doorway and into the astronomy dome.
Because Raelan is here, but so is the princess, and she’s currently straddling him on one of the crescent-shaped couches, and I blink in surprise when I notice that the fingers he has wrapped around her waist are tipped with glinting black claws.
A wave of dizziness comes over me, and I stumble, accidentally bumping into a bookshelf near the door and causing a domino effect in the books, which all tumble down onto one another, making such a loud sound that Alina gasps and whirls around to look at me, her surprise manifesting in snowflakes that momentarily whirl in the air before quickly melting away.
“S-sorry,” I say, then bend at the waist to brace my hands on my thighs and catch my breath. Just breathe. You’re not dying. It’s okay.
“Aric?” There’s a rustle of fabric, then a patter of soft-soled shoes crossing the mosaic floor toward me. “Are you all right?”
I’m sweating profusely, and my heart is thundering again, but I made it. I’m in the dome. And now I’m just really hoping I don’t get sick all over Her Highness’s feet.
“I’m fine,” I grunt between breaths. “Just need . . . a moment.”
Raelan joins us, and when I glance up at him, he’s regarding me with a tilted head and an arched brow.
Alina places a cold hand on my shoulder—and it feels great, because I’m burning up right now. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?”
When I don’t reply, Raelan says, “You’re afraid of heights.”
I point messily in his direction. “Bingo.”
“Then why are we up in this tower?” Alina asks. “We could’ve done this somewhere else.”
“I . . . didn’t want to be a pain,” I say, finally catching my breath enough to stand up straight. When I look the princess in the eye, it’s like my brain slams awake. Why is Alina even here? Did Raelan tell her about my dance lessons? “Wait, we?”
Alina glances at Raelan, and it looks like something passes between them—some silent conversation I’m not privy to. Can shifters do that? Mind speak? I’m pretty sure they can. I should’ve paid more attention in Comparative Species Studies. Then the princess turns back to me with a warm smile.
“Yes, we,” she says. “When Raelan mentioned he was teaching you to dance, I insisted on helping. A proper ballroom dance requires partners who understand both roles.” She gestures between herself and Raelan. “And we’ve had plenty of practice.”
Heat creeps up my neck. Of course he told her. I should’ve expected as much. “Do you . . . know why I’m doing this?”
“For Poppy,” Alina says simply, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Then her lips pull up a bit more in the corners. “Which I think is very sweet.”
My worry must show on my face, because Raelan actually cracks the smallest hint of a smile. “Don’t worry. The princess knows how to keep a secret.”
Alina nods enthusiastically, her long blue braid swaying with the movement. “I promise. This stays between us. Poppy will have no idea you prepared for this.” She clasps her hands together in front of her. “Are you feeling a bit better now?”
I take another steadying breath and nod. The dizziness is starting to fade now that I’m focusing on something other than how high up we are. As long as I don’t look out of the glass walls at the ground way below us, I should be fine. Hopefully. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”
“Wonderful,” Alina says before taking Raelan’s hand and guiding him to the center of the tiled mosaic floor. I follow slowly. “First, we’ll start with the basic dance frame.”
Raelan demonstrates, one hand extended, the other positioned on Alina’s waist. She places her hand in his and rests her other hand on his shoulder. They look so natural together, I immediately worry this is going to be harder than they make it seem.
She’s the princess, for goddess’s sake, and he’s a knight. Of course they know how to do this. I’m just a half-orc runeball captain who may or may not be getting kicked from his team. Maybe this was a bad idea.
“Your turn,” Alina says, stepping away from Raelan and facing me.
My stomach clenches, but not from the height this time. “With . . . ?”
“With me,” Alina says matter-of-factly. “Raelan will guide you through the steps from the side. It’s easier to learn when you’re actually dancing with someone.”
Raelan nods his approval, and I check to make sure his claws have retracted back to normal fingernails. Are dragon shifters territorial? Pretty sure I missed that lesson too.
Alina tips her head and holds out her arms. “Come on. Don’t be shy.”
I step forward awkwardly, trying to remember how she and Raelan were positioned. Alina is patient, adjusting my hand when I place it too high on her waist—I obviously didn’t want to put it too low—then swiftly correcting my posture when I hunch.
“Relax your shoulders,” she instructs gently. “You’re too tense.”
“Sorry, I just—I don’t want to step on you.”
She laughs, her blue eyes catching the starlight slipping through the glass dome overhead.
“I’m tougher than I look. Besides, everyone steps on their partner’s feet when they’re learning.
It’s part of the process.” Alina grins up at me, and I can see why Poppy likes her so much.
“You’ll be fine. Now, let’s start with the basics. ”