Chapter 44
Aric
I YAWN AS I CLIMB the stairs to the astronomy tower—which I’ll admit has gotten easier over these weeks that I’ve been meeting up with Raelan and Alina for dance practice.
My body feels like pudding, both from the grueling hours of runeball practice and the late-night study sessions I’ve been pulling.
I’m not sure how I’m going to make it through one of Raelan’s waltzes tonight, but I’m determined to at least try.
When I get to the astronomy dome at the top of the tower, I pause to catch my breath. I might not collapse midway up the stairs anymore, but that climb still makes my knees weak and my chest tight.
Inside the tower, I find Alina and Raelan already dancing, and I pause in the doorway to watch them. Raelan is wearing a smile that looks private, only for Alina’s eyes, and he makes her laugh as he dips her and kisses her on the side of the neck, where I now see Alina has a scar.
A claiming mark?
I don’t know much about them, except when a shifter claims their mate, they do so with a bite.
Raelan pulls her to her feet and twirls her, making her calf-length blue skirt flutter around her legs. Mid-twist, Alina looks over and catches sight of me, and the smile she gives me is quick and easy.
“Aric,” she says, somewhat breathless from her dance. “You’re here. But you’re also late.”
My eyes dart to the grandfather clock standing near a cluster of couches against the far wall, and I wince when I see she’s right.
I was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago.
But this is just how my life has been going lately.
It feels like everything is moving at a speed I can’t keep up with, no matter how fast I sprint or how hard I push myself.
“Sorry,” I say as I step fully into the room. That smile Raelan was wearing is gone now, replaced with his cool, smooth look of indifference. I wonder if they teach that look when you go through knight training. Maybe. “I was studying and lost track of time.”
Alina’s gaze softens. “It’s all right. Poppy mentioned you’ve been studying a lot lately. How’s it coming along?”
I cross the dome, which is banded with silver moonlight, and pause next to Alina, burying my hands in my pockets. “Wish I could say.” My laugh sounds tired when it slips out. “But I have no idea. Guess my finals will answer that question.”
Alina tips her head, blue eyes catching the moonlight momentarily before it’s stolen away by a cloud. “I think you’re going to do great. And then you’ll get to celebrate at the ball with Poppy.”
Poppy.
I haven’t meant to, but I feel like I’ve been neglecting her lately.
After Faunwood and then our trip to Wysteria to meet her mom and Pepper, my life has narrowed down into two points of focus: runeball and finals prep.
I’m giving runeball my all, knowing that if I don’t pass my classes, these could be the last few games I get to play in.
And when I’m not on the runeball field, I’ve got my head shoved so deep into my textbooks that I’ve probably got ink on my face right now.
“Thanks,” I say to Alina, and though I try to smile at her, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t reach my eyes, because she tips her head and frowns at me.
“You ready to get started?” Raelan asks.
I nod once and take a breath to steady myself. “Yeah. Let’s dance.”
“SHIT, ALINA, I’M SO SORRY.”
I just stepped on her—again—and she’s hopping on one foot, holding the other one with a hand. Raelan rushes over to steady her.
“Do you think it’s broken?” he asks, but she quickly shakes her head.
“No. Just squished. Ouch!”
“Sorry.” Raelan pulls his hand away from her foot, but he keeps an arm looped around her waist, steadying her. Then his sharp dark eyes find me.
And I’m suddenly very glad that Headmistress Moonhart doesn’t let him carry a sword.
“That’s the third time,” Raelan says. “Where’s your head right now? You’re not paying attention to what you’re doing.”
My head is anywhere but here. It’s on the field, running drills. It’s in my history textbook, trying to recall dates and battles and each of their outcomes. It’s with Poppy, wondering what she’s doing, wondering if she’s okay.
But it’s not here. Which means I probably shouldn’t be here either.
The last thing I need to do is break our princess’s foot.
I don’t think the king would throw me into the dungeon for that, but with how everything else is going, I feel like that’d be just my luck.
Hopefully he’d give me a candle and my textbooks, at the very least. That way I could keep studying for finals.
“I’m . . . distracted,” I say. “I’m sorry, Alina. Really. Are you gonna be okay?”
She leans her weight against Raelan and tentatively sets her foot on the tiled mosaic floor. A wince flashes across her face, but she smooths it quickly into a smile. “Yeah. I’ll be fine. Probably no more dancing for me though.”
Yeah, that’s a good call.
Beside her, Raelan frowns. Alina looks up at him, and they do that thing where I’m pretty sure they’re communicating without speaking. It’s kind of awkward to watch, especially when we’re wrapped in silence in this high tower, so I shove my hands into my pockets again and take a step back.
“Well, I should probably go, then. Thank you guys for helping me. And I’m sorry again, Alina.” I take another step back, and she turns her head, pinning me with her blue eyes.
“Wait.” Gently, she puts weight on her foot, then takes a few hobbling steps toward me. Over her shoulder, Raelan glares daggers at me. And . . . are those flecks of gold I see in his eyes right now? I don’t know what that means, but given the look on his face, it can’t be a good thing.
Alina reaches me, and her hand is cool when she places it on my arm. “Are you sure everything is all right? You don’t seem like yourself tonight.”
She’s perceptive.
“I’m under a lot of stress.” I reach up and scrub a hand down my face. “I really just want finals over with. Then I can breathe again.”
Alina nods once, a look of understanding shining in her eyes. “Have you talked to Poppy about it? I know she’d help you with your studies if you asked.”
The idea of taking up more of Poppy’s valuable time makes me feel sick to my stomach. I can’t do that. It’d be selfish of me.
I flash Alina a smile, really trying to look convincing this time. “She’s helped me so much this year; without her, I’d have no chance at passing these classes. But I know she’s busy with the ball and studying for her own finals. I need to be able to do this on my own.”
Alina purses her lips. “Poppy doesn’t really study for finals,” she muses.
“She mostly just drinks tea and sits with us while we study.” She lets out a laugh, and it makes me smile—for real this time.
Then she continues, “But I get it. I know she and Professor Silvermoon are working hard right now to get all the last-minute details in place for the ball. I can’t wait to see how it all comes together.
” Her eyes get a bit of a dreamy look in them, like she’s already imagining dancing across the ballroom in Raelan’s arms.
I’m still not sure I’ll be able to lead Poppy through even a single waltz. The thought of crushing her toes makes me wince internally.
“All right, I should probably go. I think I can hear my Warfare through the Ages textbook calling my name.”
“Oh, I loved that class,” Alina says as she pulls her hand away from my arm.
I shake my head and mumble, “I think you’re the only one.”
Raelan approaches, putting his hands on Alina’s waist. He says nothing, but I get the feeling he’s telling me to go.
I always knew shifters were protective, but maybe the dragons are even more so. And I don’t want to press him any further and find out.
Lifting a hand to wave goodbye, I set off toward the doorway. But as soon as I start down the stairs, the smile falls from my face, and I groan.
I messed up with Poppy, I messed up during runeball practice, and now I’m even messing up my dance lessons. Nothing is going the way I want it to right now. I feel like I’m fighting to keep my head above water, but waves just keep crashing over me, trying to pull me down.
Poppy’s face appears in my mind as I descend the steps from the astronomy tower, my feet heavy on each stair. I see the way her glasses used to slide down her nose, the tight black dress she wore on Samhain, the joy in her eyes when she introduced me to Pepper and her mom.
And before I reach the bottom of the staircase, I decide that I have to protect her from my own stress and problems. I want her to be joyful and to look forward to the end of the semester and the Blue Moon Ball, not feel even more worried or like she has a responsibility to help me pass my classes. That’s selfish of me.
Letting her take a step back from tutoring sessions is the right thing to do, the kind thing to do.
I just hope she’ll understand.