Chapter 18
‘Jess, have you thought any more about it?’ An hour later, most of the diners, with the exception of Pat Butterworth, who’d taken herself back to the sitting room and was now fast asleep, mouth open and snoring, had moved outside, breathing in what remained of the Easter Sunday spring afternoon.
Kamran and Mum had led them along my garden path and through the gate into Mum’s beautiful and well-kept patch, proudly showing off the artful display of daffodils and tulips as well as the promise of her annual carpet of bluebells.
‘Sorry?’ Leaving the last of the washing up, I was watching Joel Sinclair through the open kitchen window chatting to Mum as he drank tea from a large mug. ‘Oh, blimey, Sorrel.’ I sighed.‘Who the hell am I going to end up with next door once Mum rents her place out?’
‘Well, that’s up to you, Jess.’ Sorrel raised an eye.
‘Oh, don’t you start!’ I sighed again. ‘Not this daft idea of renting Mum’s place to my ex-husband?’
Sorrel grinned. ‘He’s not your ex. Yet. Look, Jess, it’s great that you’ve finally made this decision about Dean, but I hate to think of you and Lola here without me and Mum.
As you say, you don’t know who you’re going to end up with next door.
Could be some pervert you’ll find gazing at your knickers on the washing line. ’
‘What! Oh, for heaven’s sake, Sorrel.’
‘Or someone who’ll just let Mum’s gorgeous garden go to rack and ruin.’
‘It would be part of the rental agreement that they keep the place tidy.’
‘Yes, well, agreements go by the board, don’t they?’
‘You seem to know a lot about it for a sixteen-year-old. This time last year you couldn’t have given a toss about any of it.’
‘Things change. People grow up. People find happiness.’ Sorrel glanced out of the window.
‘You really like this boy, don’t you?’ I turned, scrutinising Sorrel’s pretty face carefully as she continued to gaze out at Joel. ‘But don’t mess up your future…’
‘I won’t!’ Sorrel grinned and then paused. ‘On one condition…’
‘Sorry, I’m not up for bargaining.’
‘…that you let Dean rent Mum’s place.’
‘No, Sorrel. I want him out of my life.’
‘And I get that. But look, Lola appears to have grown an attitude overnight.’
‘As well as a bosom.’
‘I noticed.’ Sorrel grinned. ‘I never actually managed one of those.’ She glanced down ruefully at her own slim figure.
‘So,’ I said, pointedly, ‘you OK with moving all your things to Kamran’s place?’
‘Have you seen Kamran’s place?’ Sorrel’s eyes were wide. ‘Well, of course you have. Jess, I’ve my own little set of rooms in the granny flat he apparently built for his mother.’
‘Shirl the Pearl? You’ve not met her yet then?’
‘Well, Shirl says she’s going nowhere but her own bed, and Kamran can “stick his granny flat where the sun don’t shine” apparently!
Says she might consider moving in with Kamran when she’s ninety and got no teeth.
So, meanwhile, I get my own ensuite and actual walk-in wardrobe.
It’s amazing… Of course, Jayden’s totally put out that I’m moving out and under another man’s roof. Says I’m deserting him, betraying him…’
Sorrel and I snorted derisively in unison at that. ‘Dog in the manger,’ I said. ‘How can you be deserting him when he’s been more out of your life than in it?’
‘Amazing really that we three have all turned out so well,’ Sorrel said contemplatively, reaching for a glass and filling it at the tap.
‘Well, I’ve had my doubts about you these past few years. You’ve not been the easiest for Mum to bring up by herself, you know. Especially when she was ill.’ I threw Sorrel a look.
‘I know, I know.’ Sorrel patted my arm. ‘But she had you to help. It’s been a bit like having two mums with you next door, Jess, always checking up on me.’
‘Somebody had to…’ I said tartly.
‘You’ve never stopped, have you? Fostering kids, working up at Hudson House, trying to start up your own outside catering business… as well as bringing up Lola and always wondering what – or who – Dean was up to next. I think we should rename you Saint Jess. Saint Jess of Beddingfield village.’
‘That makes me sound a right boring old fart.’ I gave Sorrel a look.
‘Well, I do think you need to get out more. And now that Dean is going to move in next door…’
‘He’s not! And what I’ve done these past few years has kept me busy,’ I replied shortly, embarrassed as always at any praise being handed down in my direction.
‘You need him to help with Lola,’ Sorrel went on.
‘So,’ I said, in an effort to get the conversation off me, ‘how are you actually feeling about it all?’
‘Going to London? If I’m homesick and can’t sleep at this new school, I’ll have to go to Matron and demand Night Nurse to knock me out.’
I laughed at that.
‘And by my not being next door,’ Sorrel went on, ‘you’re more likely to let Joel have your box room.’
‘Oh no! No… no…!’
‘I mean, if I’m no longer going to be next door during the school holidays, but actually up at Kamran’s place being supervised by Mum as usual, you won’t be worrying that Joel and I are… you know…’
‘I know.’ I gave Sorrel a hard stare. ‘I’m assuming you’ve been sensible about… you know…’
‘I do know.’ Sorrel smiled. ‘Look, you’ve met Joel now, after months of hearing all about him.
Do you like him?’ Sorrel’s face showed just how much she wanted my approval.
‘Honestly, Jess, he’s been through it with all this gang stuff and being attacked.
He just wants a quiet life. Do his GCSEs and then… ’
‘And then?’
‘I dunno. I mean, obviously he just wants to dance, but…’ She broke off, shrugging her shoulders.
I understood exactly. The kid had a dream. Didn’t we all?
‘Anyway, he’s housetrained…’
‘Lovely table manners,’ I conceded. ‘Broke his bread roll beautifully, butter on his side plate, instead of cutting it into two and slathering it with butter.’
‘You’ve always had a thing about the correct way to break and butter a bread roll, haven’t you?
That’s the test of suitability for you, is it?
’ Sorrel tutted but then laughed, turning to put her arms round me.
‘Anyway,’ she breathed into my ear, ‘Joel would be no trouble. He’d be out of the house, out from under your feet and revising in the library at school.
His social workers will keep an eye on him as well. He doesn’t leave the loo seat up…’
‘Dean did.’
‘Well, Joel doesn’t. He can cook – a bit – and he’ll make his bed and put his washing in the machine.
You’d be fostering, so you’d get a good allowance.
And don’t tell me you couldn’t do with the money.
This lunch alone must have cost you an absolute fortune.
’ Sorrel tightened her hold on me, defying me to contradict her.
I couldn’t. I didn’t dare go online to look at my bank statement.
Sorrel still had arms round me, speaking into my hair. ‘Anyway, Joel would be the perfect lodger!’
I put up two hands in protest. ‘OK, OK! Enough already! To both.’
‘To both?’ Sorrel’s face lit up. ‘Really? Dean next door and Joel here? With you?’
‘Makes sense for Dean to be there for Lola when I’m not. I’m getting back into hockey, you know.’
‘Good for you.’ Sorrel was obviously not a bit interested in that little snippet.
‘And Joel can stay here?’ Sorrel was already heading for the door, but turned and almost ran back in order to give me another huge hug.
‘I mean, it’ll all have to be passed with his support workers of course.
And it won’t be for long. Just until the summer when he leaves school…
He’ll be able to take the part of Danny now in Grease… I need to tell Robyn…’
I drained my glass of wine and bent to stroke Arthur, feeling defeated. ‘Does he actually want to be Danny? Does he have the talent to be Danny?’
But Sorrel was heading from the room, shouting over her shoulder, ‘…and Dean and Joel can look after Arthur and take him out when you’re not here. Perfect!’
* * *
‘So, you’re OK then, Jess? With the arrangement?’ Robyn had left the garden and was standing in the kitchen door, a look of anticipation on her face. ‘Because I’ve just had a word with Joel, and he would really, really like it if you’d take him in for the next few weeks. Just until—’
‘I know, I know,’ I answered tiredly. ‘I said.’
‘Hang on!’ Robyn disappeared back into the garden, reappearing seconds later with a man I’d never seen before. ‘Jess, this is Andy Somerville, Joel’s support worker. He’s just arrived to take Joel back to his aunt in Castleford.’
‘Right, OK.’ I held out a hand to the tall dark-haired man who was probably, I guessed, around my own age. ‘Can I get you something to eat?’ I looked round at the debris of lunch leftovers, hating anyone to go away from my kitchen without being offered hospitality of some kind.
‘No, no, really.’ Andy put up a hand before leaning in to shake my outstretched one. ‘Already eaten.’ He paused, looking behind him to make sure there was no one else around to join in the conversation. ‘Mrs Butterworth, are you sure about this?’
‘Actually, it’s Ms Allen.’ I made an instant decision to leave behind, once and for all, my married name and status.
I’d deal with the actualities of it all in the weeks to come.
‘Jessica.’ I was really going for it, Jessica, I reckoned, sounding more upmarket, more professional.
My new self. I was leaving the name Jess behind, going back to the name Mum and Jayden had given me, not the one Dean had always insisted on calling me.
I’d been Jess – even Jessie – to him from the get-go, and everyone else seemed to have followed suit.
Robyn raised an eyebrow. ‘Jessica…’ Robyn gave me a look. ‘…I’ll leave you two to it.’
Once Robyn had left the kitchen, I turned back to Andy. ‘Coffee?’
‘Tea, if you’ve got it. So, Robyn tells me you’d consider taking Joel as a lodger?’
‘A lodger? I thought I was fostering him?’