Chapter 31
‘Mum?’
‘I’m here, sweetie.’ I crossed from my bedroom window – where I’d been staring down at the garden trying to make sense of it all – and over to where I’d tucked Lola up in my bed.
‘I’m frightened,’ she said as I got under the duvet with her, scooping her up into a big hug and stroking her hair.
Should I confess – me too, Lola, and I’m a grownup – or reassure her that the events of the evening had been just a bit of a mistake; something that sometimes happened in this world of adults that she was on the point of joining?
I longed to keep her as my little girl. Keep her from the big, bad, rotten world that, between us, Dean and I had had a hand in introducing her to.
‘Well,’ I said, trying to keep my voice light, ‘it was certainly an evening to remember. But, to be honest, I would try to forget it all; put it behind us. Hmm?’
‘Now you’re being daft, Mum,’ Lola said, shaking her head and sitting up on the pillows.
‘There’s two police officers downstairs and a police car on the drive.
’ She pulled a concerned face. ‘What will the neighbours think?’ she added, sounding like Patricia Butterworth.
‘And when Dad gets back and sees it, he’ll think we’ve been murdered or something!
They’re not going to take you away, are they? ’
‘Who?’ I asked, trying to jolly her along.
‘Mum! The police! Are they just waiting until I’m asleep, or until Dad or Granny get back and come round, before taking you off for questioning?’
‘You’ve been watching too much TV,’ I said, but I wasn’t convinced that wasn’t what was going to happen.
No point getting undressed and joining Lola in bed if I was going to be whisked off in the Panda.
‘Try to get some sleep, Lola,’ I said, encouraging her to lie down. ‘Good job there’s no school tomorrow.’
‘So,’ she said, just as determined to remain upright, ‘is Ruby’s dad a baddie then? You know, a criminal?’
‘Looks that way,’ I said. ‘But maybe it’s all a mistake. Let’s hope it is,’ I added reassuringly.
‘Mum, what’s going to happen to Ruby?’
‘Well, tonight she’ll be being looked after by foster parents, I guess, unless there’s a granny or an aunt or some other relative to look after her.’
Ruby visibly paled. ‘That’s awful. Having to go and sleep at someone’s house you don’t know. They might make you eat something you don’t like… Like… like sloppy fish pie or something.’
‘You know, Lola, when Aunty Robyn and I were little girls and Grandpa Jayden was off around the world, touring with his band, there were a couple of occasions when Granny was so poorly, she had to be taken into hospital. And then Aunty Robyn and I had to be taken to stay with people we didn’t know. ’
‘You’ve never told me that!’ Lola’s eyes were huge. ‘Was it awful?’
‘Not the best of times,’ I admitted, remembering.
‘Is that why you foster children sometimes? Like you’re looking after Joel now? And you did with Blane for a couple of nights before Christmas?’
‘S’pose so.’ I nodded. ‘The thing is, Lola, it did occur to me to try and bring Ruby back here with us.’
Lola didn’t speak for a good few seconds. Eventually she said, so that I could hardly hear her, ‘I’m glad you didn’t, Mum.’
I leaned back from where I’d been holding her, so I could see her face properly. ‘Why’s that, Lola?’
‘She’s mean,’ she muttered. ‘She says horrible things about people.’
‘About you?’
Lola nodded. ‘And you.’
‘Me?’ I stared.
‘She said there was no way her dad would ever fancy you because you were black and fat.’
‘Woah!’ The insults were so horrendous, I actually laughed out loud. ‘Little bitch,’ I added.
‘Mum!’
‘What did you say?’
‘I said you were of dual heritage, like me, and proud of it. And that I’d rather be… be cuddly like you are, Mum, than anorexic, thin and bony like she is.’
‘Good for you,’ I said, instantly regretting the words.
Ruby was just a kid, a poor little rich kid who appeared to have been sent from pillar to post; caught in the middle of adult goings-on by Henry Cavendish-Brown.
Or was he Darren Singleton? I itched to google both names, to find out more.
And where the hell was Joel in all this?
I was responsible for him, but I didn’t want to tell the police he’d disappeared; that he was obviously involved.
Back to his old ways again. I reached for my phone once more to see if there was a message from Dean or Joel.
There wasn’t. Sighing, I dropped a kiss onto Lola’s dark head.
‘And what did Ruby say to that then?’ I now asked.
‘About her being anorexic and bony? Not really a nice thing to say to her, you know, Lola.’
‘She deserved it! Anyway, she said nothing – she didn’t get the chance. All we heard was the bashing down of doors and people shouting and racing up the stairs towards us.’
‘Must have been very, very frightening for you,’ I apologised. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Well,’ she said, almost cheerfully. ‘Something to talk about in PSHE next term.’
‘No way you should be talking about this, Lola. Not at school anyway.’
‘Where then?’ She looked up with interest, obviously dying to relate the events of the evening to someone at some point.
‘Nowhere at the moment,’ I said firmly. ‘Look, Lola, are you sure you’re OK? It’s a horrible thing for a child to go through.’
‘I think I am,’ she said seriously. ‘But who knows? Maybe I’ll need to talk to someone. Counselling maybe? Mrs Gateshead says if we have a problem at home, we must always tell someone at school. Put it into the worry box on her desk.’
‘Right?’ Goodness, I hated the idea of Lola offloading her problems to anyone else rather than me. To be honest, I hated the idea of an eleven-year-old having problems to begin with.
‘Ruby wanted you to go on holiday with her,’ I reminded her.
‘Only because she thinks her dad’s new girlfriend is going to go with them as well…’
‘Ruby’s dad’s got a new girlfriend?’ I sat up at that, my jaw well and truly dropped.
Hadn’t the man’s fingers been inching up my knee just a few hours earlier.
‘Already?’ I managed to get out. ‘I thought the woman who Ruby called Mum had only just left? You know, the woman with the three daft shouty Pomerwotsits?’
‘Pomeranians,’ Lola corrected me. ‘Ruby said that mum, who wasn’t her real mum – Jasmine, she was called – had gone back to London.
She didn’t like living up north. Said it was cold and people talked funny.
And she’d come back for her dogs when she knew where she was going to be living in London.
Can we go to London, Mum? Go and see Sorrel?
I really miss her. She is like my big sister, you know. ’
I didn’t think I’d acknowledged that Lola’s bad behaviour recently was possibly due partly to Sorrel and Mum leaving.
‘Of course we can,’ I said. ‘And soon too.’ I’d get Dean to cough up for train fares and a hotel, my bank account being very much in the red with all the entertaining, as well as the baking and cooking I’d been doing recently in preparation for The White House.
I needed to be up front and ask Kamran for reimbursement.
‘Does Ruby miss her?’ I asked.
‘Her mum that wasn’t really her mum?’ Lola lowered her voice as she offered up this confidence. ‘No! No, she didn’t like Jasmine.’
‘Does Ruby like anyone?’ I asked, feeling sorry for the little girl.
‘She loves her dad. And she really liked me. Well, to begin with, anyway. She said I was her best friend and we’d always be friends. She wanted us to cut our wrists…’
‘What!’ I exploded, staring at Lola. ‘What?’
‘Oh, don’t panic. Not in a cutting sort of way. You know, just pin pricks to mix our blood in a show of friendship…’
‘Don’t you ever, ever…’
‘I wouldn’t, I won’t! I absolutely promise. Daft idea!’ Lola patted my hand in reassurance. ‘And she wanted me to go on holiday with her. I think, really, she wanted me there so she wouldn’t be left by herself at the villa again.’
‘Left by herself?’ I was horrified.
‘Well, no, not left totally by herself.’ Lola tutted.
‘Left with Kateryna, I mean. And Kateryna, she says, just wants to go round art galleries and “places of interest”.’ Lola air mimed quotations marks and, despite the awfulness of it all for poor, sad little Ruby, I wanted to laugh.
‘If I went with them,’ Lola continued, ‘I could share her room in the villa in Spain her dad owns and…’ She stopped talking.
‘Mum, I don’t have to go, do I? I don’t want to.
I don’t want to leave you and Dad and Arthur and Granny… ’
‘You’re not going anywhere, sweetheart,’ I said, hugging her fiercely. ‘You’re staying right here with me.’
Lola’s eyes began to droop and her hand in mine loosened.
It was well after midnight and, although pitch black outside, I moved back to the window, trying to work out what to do about Joel.
I’d messaged him a couple of times since we’d arrived back home but there’d been no response.
Should I be ringing Andy? Joel was no longer on an electronic tag, so at least I wouldn’t have the monitoring people ringing me.
And then there was George. George, who, I realised, I’d definitely changed my mind about recently.
George, who, so Robyn had intimated, was often asking about me; who’d got me into the gym and back into hockey.
George, who’d invited me round to the barn he was so excited about, wanting my advice and opinion.
And who now, it all came out, was one of Henry’s gang.
As I stood at the window, another car, unmarked this time, but with blue light rolling and lighting up my garden like a horizontal Christmas tree, careened into the drive and two burly men – both in plain clothes – jumped from the vehicle and started hammering on my kitchen door.
Fuck! What now? I dashed downstairs, but my own two police officers (since when had they become mine?) were already at the door.