Chapter 8 #2
I hold my breath for a moment, worried that Colt might ruin my plans for the day. I wouldn’t even be able to be mad at him. I’d deserve it after all this. “Of course not.”
I breathe a small sigh of relief. At least no one is throwing punches. Yet.
OLIVER
What the fuck am I doing? Aaron and I said we would be friends.
Just friends. Whatever chemistry there might be between us is a memory.
As hard as it is to get over him when we’re spending time together every week, I don’t want to lose his friendship.
I don’t make friends easily, and being with him is as easy as breathing.
When he mentioned this event today, I got so excited. Somehow, in that flurry, I didn’t think things through. It wasn’t until I was walking over and spotted Colt that the full weight of the day hit me.
It wasn’t just Aaron. And not even simply his friends, but a friend that I dated.
Does one date count? This is the kind of thing my sister could answer. I pull out my phone and text her.
Me
Does someone count as an ex if we only went on one date?
I stick my phone back in my pocket, not expecting her to respond. I’ve long given up on remembering her work schedule, considering how strange it is. I’ll probably get a response at two in the morning.
The last thing I want right now is food, but I need to come back with something, so I pick a truck and get myself a grilled cheese sandwich and a Coke. At least eating will give me something to do with my hands.
When it’s ready, I grab my order and head back to the table.
I pause briefly, looking at the four of them sitting there.
I recognize the man next to Aaron as the guy who told me off at The Flaming Unicorn.
Briefly, the thought that I could run away crosses my mind.
Aaron’s the only one who would miss me. Later, I could send him a message with some excuse.
Surely, I could come up with something good.
Imaginary illness? Family emergency? With five siblings and all their kids, there’s no end to the number of things that could happen.
But that’s bad luck, and I desperately want to spend the afternoon with Aaron, so I suck it up and head over.
“Hey.”
“This is Oliver,” Aaron says. “You’ve already met Colt and Matthias, and that’s Nathan.” He points to each of his friends as he introduces them. When he scootches over a little to make room for me, my heart swells. I know it’s nothing, just a spot to sit while we eat, but it feels important.
“Thanks for letting me join you. I’ve lived here a year, but I still feel like a newbie.
I didn’t know anyone when I moved here, so it’s been tough trying to find friends.
” I hate admitting that to people. Everyone says it’s hard to make friends later in life, but it still feels like everyone else is better at it.
The conversation turns back to the various items the guys saw while wandering around.
There are several things people want to go back for.
Apparently, Aaron found a snack he wants.
When he mentions it, he rocks against me a little bit.
It was intentional, but we’re cramped together on a bench meant for two people that somehow fits three grown men.
Not that Aaron or I are huge, but Matthias is a bit of a beast.
“Anyone up for an impromptu get-together at my place? I’ve got plenty of beer and snacks.”
I play with the remnants of my grilled cheese, the bits of crust that I picked off and didn’t eat.
This is part of the reason my family thinks I need to work on my health.
I still eat the same way my niblings do.
They’ll be shocked when I tell them I’m running.
Maybe I can wait to mention it until I finish my first race.
Then I can send them a photo of me with my medal.
Do they give medals for five-ks? They’d better because there’s no way I’m running any further than that.
“What do you think?” Colt asks Nathan.
“Mmm…” Nathan clearly hasn’t been paying attention.
Probably my fault. He’s been eyeing me throughout the conversation, turning away any time I catch his gaze.
The guilt sets in, and I start calculating how quickly I can get out of here.
I’ve ruined the day and probably made things complicated for Aaron.
It was a stupid idea anyway. Thinking there was any chance that I could be part of his life beyond our private time together. I should be happy with that, thankful for the little time I have with him, but I’m not.
Somehow, no matter how much of him I have, it’ll never be enough.
“What do you think about spending a little longer here and then going to Matthias’s house?” Colt asks.
“Sounds nice,” Nathan says.
“How about it?” Matthias looks at me, and it takes all my control not to look around to see who else he might be talking to. “Want to come over? There’s plenty of room.”
“I—”
“Please? It’ll be fun.” Aaron’s voice is soft but pleading. How am I supposed to say no to that?
“Sure.” I plaster a big smile on my face. “Sounds good.”