Chapter 27
Alice was not expecting company. At least not this early.
That’s why the banging on the door made her heart jump to her throat.
She hurried down the hallway, attempting to muffle her steps as she approached the front door.
Could it be Nathaniel? Not for a second did she think last night’s conversation was over.
She had hurt him. The knowledge sat like a burning coal on her heart.
Or maybe that burn was because she had hurt herself as well in the process.
But if it was indeed him, why didn’t he use his key?
She threw open the door and, as expected, Nathaniel was at her doorstep. What she had not expected was to find John at his side. Her heart faltered. Surprise carried her words before she could think better of them.
“Nathaniel. John. What a…surprise, seeing you two together.”
Her ingrained manners made her step back, to invite them in, though Nathaniel did not wait for her to usher them inside.
He strode past her, every inch the imperious lord, while John entered more soberly.
Alice closed the door, leaned back against it.
The latch fell into place with a sharp click that echoed her sudden apprehension.
“Why did you never tell me John was your brother?” Nathaniel demanded without preamble.
Her stomach clenched. Oh heavens. How had he discovered the truth?
Had John told him? Of course, he had. Why else would he be here with Nathaniel?
But why? She mentally shook her head. It didn’t matter now.
Either way—the secret was out. A guilty heat rose to her cheeks, but she refused to give in to shame.
Alice lifted her chin, as she always did when cornered.
“You never asked.”
The moment the words left her lips, she knew she had chosen the wrong defense. His thunderous expression told her so.
“Hell and damnation, Alice!” His voice cracked against her composure like a whip. “We have been married for over a decade, and you didn’t think it important to tell me you had a brother? I cannot fathom why you would hide such a thing from me.”
“I wasn’t hiding it!” she retorted, stung by his tone. “I found out about my real parentage only after we had already separated. What would you have had me do? Write you a letter informing you I was the bastard child of the Marquess—”
“Don’t!” Nathaniel interrupted her. His jaw clenched hard enough a muscle jumped in his jaw.
“Don’t you finish that sentence. I don’t know when, or how.
Maybe not then. But what about since we began working together again?
Since we—” He broke off abruptly, apparently unwilling to speak of their rekindled intimacy in front of John.
“I was going to tell you eventually,” she said, folding her arms tight across her middle as though she could shield herself from his disappointment. “But I couldn’t find the right moment. You seemed so predisposed against John. Why, you even suspected he might be the traitor—”
John stiffened beside her. “You thought I was a traitor?”
Nathaniel cut him off with a scowl and a wave of his arm. “Irrelevant now. Do not change the subject, Alice. How could you think it unimportant when it was the very reason I sued for divorce?”
Her breath caught. “What does John have to do with that?”
“Are you going to pretend you don’t know?” Nathaniel was looking at her as if she had sprouted horns. His incredulity shook her. “Alice, it’s as though you want me to divorce you. Is that it? Do you want to be rid of me?”
“I think you have it backwards,” she fired back. “You sued for divorce. You wanted to be rid of me. What does John have to do with it?”
“Rid of you?” His voice rose with his indignation.
“I have never wanted to be rid of you. You leaving me was the single most painful moment of my life. That is, until I thought you had taken a lover. Do you want to know how I knew, Alice? I think I should tell you, so that there are no more secrets or misunderstandings between us. Whenever I was in London, I used to walk by this street. I would walk by at different times of day or night. Sometimes I would linger in the corner for a few minutes. I would tell myself I was just making sure you were well, but in reality, I hoped to catch a glimpse of you. Maybe even run into you and have an excuse to talk to you. I couldn’t stay away.
I know.” He raised a hand imperiously to silence her when she would interrupt.
“I know that makes me sound like a lovelorn fool. But I couldn’t help it. Well, one of those nights, I saw more than I bargained for. I caught more than a glimpse of you.” His face twisted. “Do you remember a night last summer, about a year ago, when Ardmore visited and stayed the night?”
Her breath caught in a gasp, it must have been the night before John’s latest departure for Egypt.
He had visited to say goodbye and to give her the address where she could reach him if needed.
He had ended up staying over. As he did often enough that she considered one of the guest bedrooms John’s room.
He stayed over when he was just passing through London for a day or two, since his father’s townhouse was cold and formal, and he much preferred the warmth of Alice’s home.
She didn’t mind. In fact, she encouraged him to stay. It made her feel less lonely.
She already knew where Nathaniel was going with this story. “Oh, no.”
“Yes, indeed. I stood outside this house the entire night, Alice. I saw him enter, and I watched him leave at dawn. I witnessed the way you embraced him at the door—God, I thought I was going to go mad.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” she whispered, horrified at what he must have thought. “Damnation, Nathaniel, why didn’t you knock on the door, or even knock it down and barge into the house that same night? You would have found out the truth much sooner.”
He looked at her with tormented eyes. “I was afraid. Afraid of finding you two in bed together. Afraid of the violence of my thoughts, and ashamed of my feelings. There were a hundred things I could, and should, have done. But I just slinked away, trying to process what I saw. Explain it. Excuse it.”
“My God, Nathaniel.” Her fingers gripped the edge of the entrance table until her knuckles turned white.
“But that moment festered in my heart until it drove me to petition for divorce. And then, just when I had started to believe that maybe I had been wrong, I returned from my estate to find you had left London with him. How was I not to conclude the worst? Do you even realize the agony you have put me through?”
Her knees nearly buckled beneath her, and she leaned heavily against the table. Good God. From his perspective, her innocent actions looked damning indeed. “So you concluded that John was my…” she swallowed, God, she couldn’t even say it without cringing. “My lover.”
He barked a mirthless laugh. “Don’t pretend you didn’t know. It was plain in the petition. You received it weeks ago.”
“Double damn,” she breathed. “I never opened the letter.”
His gaze narrowed. “What?”
She darted into the drawing room in a daze, tugged open the drawer of her desk, and pulled out the solicitor’s envelope, the red wax seal still unbroken. She held it out with trembling fingers. “See for yourself.”
Nathaniel stared at the letter as if it were a viper. “You didn’t open it? Even after I warned you you’d be receiving it?”
Her chin rose again, though her voice shook. “Especially not after your warning. Maybe for the same reason you didn’t barge in when you thought I had taken a lover. It was too painful, Nathaniel. I could not bear to read your accusations set down in ink.”
“Not even to deny them? To defend yourself?”
“What good would it have done? You seemed so resolute. Would you have believed me? It’s not like I have proof of my innocence.
“Of course I would have!”
“Would you?” Her eyes glittered with unshed tears. “Did you believe me when I told you your family made my life miserable behind your back? When I said they sabotaged my every effort?”
“That was different,” he said hoarsely. “I was a fool. I’ve admitted as much.
But I had never doubted your fidelity until you gave me reason—damn good reason—to doubt.
After that night, I made inquiries, Alice.
I learned it was not the only time he had stayed.
That you two had gone off on a mission together. Alone. For weeks!”
“You mean Egypt?” she snapped. “That mission was work, Nathaniel. Nothing more.”
“And I was supposed to be reassured by that?” He advanced on her, fury and anguish radiating from him.
“I know what missions entail. Close quarters. Shared danger. Shared—” He broke off with a growl, bracing one hand against the wall beside her head, his face so close she could feel the heat of his breath.
His other hand came up to cradle her cheek, rough and tender at once. “Damn you, Alice.”
And then his mouth claimed hers.
The kiss was fierce, desperate, filled with rage and love and the kind of relief that unraveled her bones. She melted into him, grasping his lapels, unable, unwilling, to resist.
A loud throat-clearing broke them apart.
John stood where they had left him, expression grim but eyes softened by a measure of understanding.
“If you will excuse me,” he said. “I only came with Greystone to make certain you were safe. To protect you if…if there was a reason you had hidden our connection. If you wished for divorce, I meant to support you.”
Nathaniel whirled on him. “Protect her? From me? Do not make me laugh. I have never wished anything but Alice’s good. She needs no protection from me. I am her protector.”
“Yes, I see that now,” John replied, squaring up to him. “And I recognize she is also formidable enough to stand up for herself. Still, you cannot fault a man for trying to protect his sister.”