Chapter Twenty-Six
After Roisin left, the earl merely nodded at Douglas before giving Hugh a thoughtful look. Hugh ignored it. He had the damning certainty that if he opened his mouth, the words that came out would condemn him for all time.
Instead, he hauled Symon’s body to his horse. He’d ensure the man had a proper burial and to hell with what the earl might think. Without a word, Douglas grabbed Symon’s legs, and they placed him over his horse, as the rest of the men gathered the bodies of Darragh and his two men.
The journey back to the glen was interminable, and when they arrived, Hugh didn’t ask for permission to halt. He simply did, before dismounting and kneeling by the river to scrub his hands clean.
Symon’s blood stained the water but no matter how hard he rubbed his hands over sharp stones, it seemed there was no way for him to scour the evidence of his guilt from his skin.
Finally, he stood, and only his own blood streaked his knuckles and fingers.
In silence he mounted Fhortan, aware that everyone’s eyes bored into him.
Let them. None of them knew how he had survived for more than a year, or what he’d done, and therefore they couldn’t understand and were not fit to judge him.
None of them. Except maybe Douglas.
The fortified manor was set some way back from the banks of a substantial river, overlooking a local village and sizable forest. When they entered the forecourt through an arched gatehouse, the earl gave orders to his men, before addressing Douglas.
“Take Hugh and get him cleaned up. I’ll speak to him in my private chamber. ”
To hell with that. He would trust no one with Fhortan and grimly grasped his horse’s reins and ensured Symon’s body was taken into safekeeping before he led Fhortan to the stables where he gave him a thorough grooming. Douglas tended to his own horse, and the silence between them hurt his head.
When they were finished, he followed Douglas into the manor. Roisin was here, somewhere. Half of him hoped they wouldn’t cross paths. But the other half, the half that, even now, clung onto the foolish wish they had a future together, desperately hoped they would.
Douglas took him into a small, well-appointed bedchamber and pulled out a fresh shirt from a chest. He tossed it on the bed before pouring water from a pitcher into a bowl on a small table and placing a lump of soap next to it.
Any other time Hugh would have found the performance amusing, but he doubted he’d ever find anything Douglas did amusing again.
His brother stood back from his handiwork and folded his arms. They stared at each other in silence before Douglas took a deep breath. “’Twas a fair fight, Hugh. I’m grieved he was yer friend and that’s the truth, but I wasn’t to know that.”
Hugh acknowledged the truth of what Douglas said, but it didn’t mean he had to accept it. “All right.”
“I chose this life. I craved the excitement when I was sixteen. Knowing I was living a double existence that no one else knew about gave me something I cannot explain. But I’ve given up a lot, Hugh.
And that’s why I didn’t want ye getting involved.
The earl will give ye the choice, and for Christ’s sake, walk away.
Wed yer pretty noblewoman and have the family I never will, and one day Balfour Castle will go to yer son. ”
“Lady Roisin is not my noblewoman.” For God’s sake, hadn’t he made that plain enough the last time he’d spoken to her?
It had all but destroyed him, but he had to make sure no one guessed what had happened between them.
He wouldn’t risk besmirching her reputation by giving anyone a reason to question his damn integrity. Or, rather, his lack of it.
“Whatever ye say.” Douglas shrugged. “Just remember, this last year ye were under orders from the Earl of Argyll himself. There’s nothing ye’ve done that reflects badly on the Campbells of Balfour Castle.”
He didn’t want to talk about it. But the words poured from him, nonetheless. “How can ye say that? I lied and schemed for a year, pretending to be someone I wasn’t for a reason I didn’t even know. I thought I was searching for ye, Douglas, not for the elusive kin of Torcall and Alan MacGregor.”
“Maybe so. But ye were still following orders, and whatever ye believed, the outcome was the same. Clan Campbell is safer now because of what ye and I have done and ye should not forget that.”
Through the red mist of his rage, a fragment of uncertainty glimmered.
Douglas was right. He had killed Fergus to ensure Roisin remained safe, but if the earl hadn’t sent him undercover in the first place, Fergus’s plan might have succeeded.
And while it was Roisin’s life he cared about, he knew full well Fergus’s thirst for vengeance wouldn’t have stopped until everyone connected with William had been destroyed.
The truth unraveled in his head. The earl hadn’t banished him to punish him for something Douglas had done. There was no tarnish attached to the Campbells of Balfour Castle that might transfer to a noble born bride.
He was a second son, and whatever his brother said, it was Douglas who would inherit Balfour Castle in due course.
But while Hugh might not have a castle to offer Roisin, at least he could offer her an alliance unsullied by conflict with the earl, and with the coin he’d amassed from his time as a redshank, he could afford a small stronghold.
It wasn’t enough for a noblewoman who could trace her lineage back nine hundred years through fearless Norse ancestors to a fierce Pict queen.
But now he no longer had a cloud over his head that Douglas had committed an unforgivable act that would taint their lives forever, a thread of hope glinted in the dark.
Both he and Douglas were bound to the earl, through blood ties and alliances that went back centuries, and his brother was right.
Hugh had been following orders for this last year and although his time in Darragh’s camp had warped his outlook, if the earl welcomed him back into his circle, no one would ever dare question his loyalty.
In the end, that loyalty was all that mattered. And if it helped him to win Roisin, who meant more to him than any twisted allegiances the earl might command, then by God he’d play by whatever rules he needed to.
He just hoped Roisin would give him a second chance.
And from the depths of his memory, he recalled the conversation they’d had where she had told him her destiny was to remain on the Isle of Eigg.
He hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but now it played on his mind, an elusive whisper of something just out of reach.
And then it struck him.
He had no grand castle or estates to oversee in the Highlands. Certainly, he’d always ensure Balfour was maintained and his father and his sisters were looked after. But the ultimate responsibility lay with Douglas, whatever his brother might think of the matter.
Which meant there was nothing to stop Hugh from making his home at Sgur Castle. It might even be the deciding factor for Roisin to accept his suit, knowing she need never leave her beloved isle again.
Douglas left the chamber and Hugh stripped and used the soap as though it could scrub away the last twelve months and all the dubious decisions he’d made.
It wouldn’t. Nothing could do that but at least he no longer stank of blood and sweat.
He pulled on the fresh shirt and secured his plaid.
Now all he needed to do was find Roisin and hope to God he hadn’t ruined his chances with her.
He pulled open the door and all but collided into Douglas. And remembered the earl had summoned him. Goddamn it. Frustration simmered through his veins as he fell into step beside his brother, and they went to a chamber that led off from the great hall.
“Enter,” the earl said in response to his knock, and he went inside. The earl stood by a desk, his back to Hugh, looking out of a window where a well sat in the middle of a small courtyard.
“My lord,” Hugh said, although the words all but stuck in his throat.
The earl turned. “Well done.”
“Aye.” He knew damn well protocol demanded he should thank the earl for his praise, but he wasn’t feeling thankful, and he was sure the earl could see it.
The earl considered him in silence for a few moments, before he walked around his desk and stood in front of him. “Speak freely, Hugh. Ye’ve earned that, at least.”
“I don’t think ye want to hear what I have to say.”
The earl gave a faint smile. “We’ve known each other for years. Ye have my word I won’t hold anything ye say against ye.”
Hugh shook his head, but in the end he couldn’t hold his tongue. “Why did ye let me believe Douglas had betrayed ye and that was why I had to join yer network and find him? Why not tell me the truth?”
“It was the truth. I’d not heard from Douglas for weeks, not since he’d gone to Eire.
And aye, maybe I gave the impression Douglas had displeased me, but it’s a tactic we’ve always employed, one I continued from my father, to obscure the truth and keep him safe.
” The earl paused and gave Hugh a calculating look.
“Do ye recall when Alan MacGregor tossed William overboard and I excluded ye from information I’d received? ”
Aye, he remembered all right. It still stung that the earl had considered he might have been the one who had betrayed his own cousin, William. He gave a brusque nod, and the earl continued.
“’Twas Douglas who discovered Alan hadn’t died alongside his father. I kept ye out of my confidence, Hugh, in case I needed to send ye undercover, and the excuse that we were estranged could help save yer life if ye were recognized.”
“I see.” And he did understand the earl’s reasoning, even if he didn’t agree with it.
“’Twas only months after ye’d been in Eire that Douglas got in contact to let me know he’d tracked down the last splinter group of Torcall and Alan MacGregor’s kin and was back in the Highlands.”
“Douglas was in Fergus’s camp?”
“No. He was searching for him and heard rumors of a plot against William. Then ye sent word that ye had rescued Lady Roisin, so I guessed what Fergus’s plan had been. I knew she was safe while ye were there. ’Twas only days later Douglas discovered Fergus’s camp. Except the bastard wasn’t there.”
“I believe he’d been searching for his mercenaries when they didn’t deliver Lady Roisin.
” He barely managed to suppress a shudder at how narrowly she had escaped that fate.
It was galling to acknowledge the earl’s part in that by sending him undercover in the first place, but it didn’t make it any less the truth.
“Aye. But when Douglas sent us the location of Fergus’s camp, we were able to deduce where Darragh was heading, based on yer communications.
Between ye and Douglas, we’ve managed to eradicate that particular threat against William, but I don’t have to tell ye the threat extended far beyond William himself. ”
“I know.” Only too well.
“Douglas is concerned I want to permanently add ye to the network. I don’t.”
Hugh grunted. The earl didn’t take offense.
“I’ve other plans for ye.” The earl eyed him. “Douglas is adamant he will not wed, but I’m not prepared to let the Campbells of Balfour Castle fade into obscurity. Ye and Douglas may never be able to share the great service ye’ve done for our clan, but by God I’ll ensure ye’ll receive recompense.”
The only recompense he wanted was Roisin. And the earl was the last person he’d share that wish with.
“Come with me.” The earl abruptly strode out of the chamber and with a frustrated sigh, Hugh followed. All he wanted was to find Roisin and ask her—hell, beg her, if need be—to consent to be his wife. If she didn’t want him, what else mattered?
As they left the manor, Hugh fell into step beside the earl as they marched across the forecourt and beyond the stables to a neglected orchard, where they came to a halt.
“With closer oversight, this manor and its landholdings would be most profitable.”
Hugh didn’t doubt it. If the earl was concerned, he should install a more proficient steward, but he didn’t see that it had anything to do with him.
“A man,” the earl added, oblivious to Hugh’s growing irritation at being kept from finding Roisin, “needs a worthy estate if he intends to take a noblewoman for a wife.”
His irritation vanished, and he shot the earl a guarded look. Had he not been able to hide his feelings for Roisin from anyone?
The earl exhaled an impatient sigh. “God’s teeth, Hugh.
Ye’re as hard to please as Douglas. I’m bequeathing the manor and all its chattels to ye.
To be sure, ye’ll have Balfour if Douglas continues to be stubborn, but this estate will be yers notwithstanding.
’Tis a small recompense for what we stood to lose if Fergus hadn’t been stopped.
And now ye have something of worth to tempt a lady’s hand. ”
Hugh cast his bemused gaze over the orchard, then slowly turned and took in the three empty buildings with the stables beyond them.
Aye, this was certainly something that could tempt a lady for the potential to expand was considerable, but Roisin wasn’t just any lady.
And he hadn’t changed his mind about moving to Eigg, if that was what she wanted.
The earl waited for his reply and there was only one thing to be said. “Thank ye, my lord.”
It was ironic. Had the earl bequeathed him the manor a year ago, Hugh would have believed it solved all his problems, for he would have something of worth to offer Roisin. But now, it was simply a fine estate, and he knew it wouldn’t sway Roisin’s mind one way or another.
As the earl strolled back to the manor, Hugh took a deep breath. It was time to face Roisin.