Chapter 10 The Beginnings of the Middle
Chapter10 The Beginnings of the Middle
The Mother of the Bride
Beware the emergence of Bridezilla, the Merry Widows had warned Alexa. It all starts out with hearts and roses and ends with
tears and threats, they had said that night at dinner a few weeks ago. Even the best-behaved brides will have moments, they
assured her. It comes with the territory. The only way MOBs can survive is to rely on good friends for strength and assume
that one day, after the wedding, they’ll get their girl back.
But Alexa couldn’t believe that Penny would turn on her the way Ming’s daughter, Tessie, had, by issuing an order via a strongly worded text that everyone in the bridal party lose twenty pounds or be cut from the roster. The tyrant bride, a marketer in the beauty biz with a lifetime of body issues, ruthlessly dropped the fourth bridesmaid, a childhood friend who was a beautiful size fourteen. Surely Penny would never act like Toots’s granddaughter who had flung a sample bouquet of wildflowers at the inexperienced florist, shouting, “Find better-looking nature!” When Frannie described how her newly minted daughter-in-law turned to her in the receiving line and ordered her to move to the other end of the line because she was “ruining the aesthetic” with “her frumpy dress,” Alexa had shaken her head. Penny would never say anything like that to anyone, would she?
She might think it, but never say it, Alexa decided.
But there they were at lunch at a bistro in SoHo in what Alexa had envisioned being a festive celebration of the Miracle of
the Dresses when the darker aspects of Penny’s hyper-organized personality started to emerge. After their inhaling a lunch
of grilled salmon and asparagus, coffee was on the way as Penny took her mother through her plans for the wedding. The edge
in her daughter’s voice took hold as she whipped out her tablet, brought up her PowerPoint, and ran her mother through the
details like she was running her through a tour itinerary.
Except the tables were turned. Penny was the boss and Alexa’s job was to nod and agree to the task. “Here’s what you need
to know. First, because we’re trying to execute the wedding on an accelerated timeline, there’s an availability crunch for
me. I don’t have a lot of time in my schedule to spearhead this entire plan. My work client, the one with the boutique hotels
all over the South, has given me an enormous project. It could make or break my career, Mom, but it means I must focus, focus,
focus on that while you focus on the wedding.”
While you focus on the wedding? Who did Penny think she was talking to? As if Alexa didn’t have a business to run herself. This wasn’t how they usually communicated.
“Here are my initial thoughts,” Penny said, handing a tablet to Alexa, indicating to her mother that she would page through the electronic presentation that was part mood board, part pitch deck. Alexa stared down at the screen, absorbing both the words and the intent. It was beautifully designed, and for one second, she made a mental note to show the deck to her graphic designer. Maybe all their Odyssey quote documents should use this look and format? She was starting to get lost in her thoughts when Penny’s sharp voice brought her back. “Of course this will need to be refined and refined again. But this is a start for us.”
Penny then went on to describe the wedding gimmicks that she and Chase were rejecting: hokey wedding photos setups, matching
and mandatory bathrobes for the bridal party, complicated choreography for the couple’s entrance and the first dance, tricky
baubles to indicate the seating chart, treasure hunt–themed rehearsal dinners, party favors for guests, menu cards and ceremony
programs, or any dogs at all. She ran through the list with such conviction it was clear to her mother that Penny had experienced
all of these extras in her career as an extreme-wedding guest.
Alexa thought she might be witnessing traumatic recall. Penny’s peak sorority life at SMU resulted in a dozen weddings in
her twenties. Summers and falls were packed with trips to Dallas or Vail or New Orleans. She had a closetful of pistachio
one-shouldered bridesmaid’s dresses and pink shorty bathrobes. The hair and makeup costs alone totaled more than the down
payment on a luxury car. She’d spent thousands of dollars on trips to Cabo or Nashville to celebrate with her Kappa sisters
in an endless stream of bachelorette weekends that all looked the same on social media, despite the changing brides. There’d
been gifts galore, in what felt like a never-ending cycle of showers. She’d been to too many to count, including baby showers,
with more invitations piling up at home.
Alexa’s blood pressure started to creep up as Penny preached. She finished by saying, “What Chase and I want is simplicity.
No gimmicks. Do you understand?”
Alexa nodded without a word, hoping her daughter had ordered decaf. “Let me take a look at this list while you...” She
wanted to say “relax” but sensed that word choice would not be well received. “Enjoy a moment of quiet.” Then Alexa bowed
down to the tablet and flipped through the deck.
The Wedding of Penelope and Chase: A Love Odyssey
Last Week of December in Montecito (or Santa Barbara if necessary)
Thursday evening rehearsal dinner at casual location with all invited
Friday evening ceremony followed by dinner and dancing
Saturday morning coffee and breakfast burritos at beach
Seventy-five guests max
One attendant each for Penny and Chase
Penny: Sarah (Chase’s sister)
Chase: Lloyd (college friend)
Bridesmaid gifts: monogrammed paper pads and notebooks
Groomsman gift: TBD
For Wedding
Eco-friendly a MUST
Natural, Natural, Natural
Simple, Simple, Simple
Intentional, Intentional, Intentional
Environmentally Responsible! No extra printed materials, no dress-up booth or wedding tchotchkes. Absolutely no superfluous
signage, paper goods, or stuff that gets thrown in the landfill the next day.
Service at venue
Buffet okay, served dinner preferred
DJ afterward. No cheesy songs. No chicken dance.
Hotel or club preferred if space
Rented private estate also fine
Vibe: Sophisticated Beach
Colors: White, Cream, Silver, Blue
Lighting: Essential! Look: Grecian sunset that fades into a cityscape
Dance floor: investigate smoke for first dance
Food: Mediterranean
Bar: Open
Dress code: California Chic, blue encouraged!
Officiant: Surprise
Alexa absorbed the enormity of the task at hand, from renting a private estate to securing lighting that mimicked a Grecian
sunset. How were either of those tasks in the “simple” category? A few days ago, she didn’t even want Penny to have a wedding;
now she appeared to be overseeing the whole thing. She studied the list for a minute longer than she needed, mainly to let
Penny decompress, and then she said, “You need me to plan the entire wedding? This wedding? Where the dress code is ‘blue
encouraged’?”
“Mom, of course not. What would you know about wedding planning?” Penny snapped, and already Alexa felt hurt. But Penny continued with her tone. “I hired a professional in Montecito. She’s a Kappa from UCSB named Madison Meadows. You’ll work with her to be my eyes and ears on the ground. But understand that Madi son and I will be in constant communication and I’ll be making all decisions. You’ll visit venues, meet with the caterer—that kind of thing. And you’ll need to find me the best florist that we can afford, so ask the Widows. Maybe somebody who doesn’t have a full-time business but loves to do weddings. I wish I had paid more attention to centerpieces when I was in high school.”
Alexa smiled, mainly with relief. Her daughter hadn’t lost her sense of humor yet.
“What are you laughing at? I mean it,” Penny said. “Understanding the outrageous price of floral design would have been helpful.”
So she had lost her sense of humor, Alexa thought. Damn. She was hoping to open up a conversation about their Athens family
attending the wedding. Because as far as Alexa was concerned, if she couldn’t have her family at the wedding, she didn’t even
want to tell them about the wedding. They would never understand a snub like that. But Penny didn’t seem open to discussion
on this or any topic.
“This is a basic rundown, but I have extensive notes on each line item. I’ll send you the complete deck, but I didn’t want
to overwhelm you at lunch.”
That sounded like planning the whole wedding to Alexa, but she said nothing. She was waiting for her daughter to laugh and
say, “Just kidding.” But Penny wasn’t kidding. “You hired a wedding planner?”
“Of course. I need someone like me on the ground to run the wedding the day of the event. Brides don’t have time to produce,
Mom.”
Again, Alexa waited, hoping for the laughter to break out.
But there was nothing on Penny’s face to suggest that she was anything but deadly serious about this festive event. “Chase and I agree. We’re paring down. This is not going to be some three-day bacchanalia for everybody we went to college with so they can party like it’s 1999. This is a grown-up wedding, curated by grown-ups for grown-ups,” Penny announced. “No matching dresses. No endless photo sessions. No bottles of wine labeled with our wedding logo. I mean, of course there will be a logo, but we’re not going to rebrand the wine, like Katie did. Or give each guest a bottle from the family vineyard like Savannah did. Remember Jillian’s wedding? The bridesmaids had to walk down the aisle twice because the wedding video director didn’t like our cadence. We had to do a retake in the middle of the ceremony. There won’t be any of that! Oh, and there will be one dress and one cake.”
At least that was a cost-saver, Alexa thought. And seriously, did brides really have more than one cake?
Penny’s voice switched pitch, and she was shaking as she spoke. “I don’t want any of that. I don’t need the picture-perfect
wedding. This is not an Instagram event; it’s my life. I want a wedding filled with love and joy. Is that too much to ask?”
Now, it was Penny’s turn to cry, but not tears of happiness. Penny was melting down right in front of Alexa. Her mother reached
across the table for her daughter’s trembling hand. “My dear, you don’t have to have any wedding at all. You and Chase can
go to City Hall and then we can go out for Chinese food. Isn’t that what New Yorkers do?”
Penny couldn’t respond, so Alexa continued, “Is this about the wedding? Or the marriage? Maybe this is all going too fast.
Maybe slow down. There’s no need to rush because of Chase’s schedule.”
That was exactly the wrong tack. Penny pounced. “It’s not Chase’s schedule. You’re so against marriage. Why is that? Every
other girl I know has a mother that is breathing down their neck for them to get married. But you... you seem annoyed that
I’ve found a life partner.”
“That is not true. Not at all. I am happy for you and Chase. We just bought your dress and mine. You and I are different in one very big way. You’ve always wanted to be part of something bigger than yourself. The cheerleaders in high school. The sorority. You stay in touch with your old boyfriends and your cousins on Patmos. It’s admirable. For me, I prefer to be part of a small group. You know that. And I saw what happened to my mother. She was thrown out of her own family for her life choices. I’m glad she came to Greece and found my father, but I never wanted to be in that position. I like my independence,” Alexa finished with a sharp edge in her voice. Penny was thirty years old. She had to own her choices. She didn’t get to dump her angst on her mother.
“I’m sorry.” Penny had gathered herself, much to Alexa’s relief. They were a pair who didn’t spar often, especially not in
public. “Remember my sorority sister Kelsey who married Cade in that over-the-top wedding in Mexico? I was in the wedding
as, like, the tenth bridesmaid. That’s what Kelsey did, she ranked the bridesmaids. Well, they’re divorcing after three years
of marriage. I spent five thousand dollars on that whole fiasco and for what? Three years. And she was the one that had the
affair. It’s freaked me out.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. At least you don’t have to invite them to the wedding.” Alexa was nothing if not practical.
Now, a genuine laugh. “You got that right. But it has made me think that I don’t want to get caught up in all that, Mom. The
over-the-top wedding with all the bells and whistles. Those come with so many rules and so much judgment. But I want something
that’s special, that’s mine. And Chase’s. I want to be married when we move in together. I want to be his wife. And I want
him to be my husband.”
That touched Alexa, and she found herself wondering what that sense of belonging must feel like. She’d felt it when she’d looked at baby Penelope, but never for a romantic partner. When she hit thirty and there was a cavalcade of weddings in her social circle and among her cousins, she tried to find that someone special because it seemed like the thing to do. She dated coworkers and friends of friends and guys she met on planes. It was always exciting for a while, but as soon as the relationships ventured into caregiving or compromising her schedule for theirs, she lost interest. In her mind, there always seemed like there was something more interesting to work on than romance—a new project, travel to an exotic land. For a while she got really into scuba diving and that replaced men on her calendar. She went from one wedding to another in London or Athens or Los Angeles, but she never minded going alone. Or leaving with a groomsman for a night of fun. But no one person ever stuck as the person. Her person. Until Penelope. Once she had the baby, she stopped trying to find anyone else because there was no point. She had what she needed: her baby, her work, and her days by the ocean.
The server approached with the espressos and the piece of honey cake that Alexa had ordered.
Penny asked her to clear the rest of the table so they had room to work. “Why don’t you bring the check now? I see we’re your
last customers. We don’t want to keep you,” she said sweetly. The grateful server hustled off.
There she is. My thoughtful girl.
Penny turned her attention to her mother, who handed her the second fork. The bride-to-be shook her head. “My carbs days are
over for the foreseeable future.”
And a lightbulb went off in Alexa. Carb deprivation = Bridezilla.
Alexa wasn’t going to let the monster in. She was going to regain the top spot in this conversation. And eat this entire piece
of honey cake. “Why don’t we take these items one at a time and you can tell me how I can be helpful. But first, let’s talk
budget.”