Chapter 9
ELIZABETH
Ican’t breathe. And I don’t care.
I’ve never had an experience like this in my life. The pleasure coursing through me is beyond my imagination and I don’t think Devon is done yet.
He certainly hasn’t come.
“Still with me?”
Opening my eyes, I find Devon hovering over me, a satisfied smirk on his face. I’m probably wearing a loopy one. I can’t answer him with words so I nod.
“Good. Because we’re not done. We’ve got all night,” he adds with a grin.
“Okay.” I finally find my voice but it’s barely there and drenched in fatigue.
“I gotta say, knowing I wrung you dry is a heady thing, Lizzi.” He lowers his head, drops a quick kiss on my lips. “And I can’t wait to do it again.”
Before I can blink, he’s off the bed and striding into the bathroom. When he comes back out, he’s holding a string of condoms.
“Thank fuck. I wasn’t sure I had any.” He frowns at the packets. “Actually, I’m not sure these are in date.”
I want to say it doesn’t matter. We don’t need them. Except I’m no longer on birth control. I went off in preparation for my wedding. The wedding that never happened.
He’s studying the packets, turning them this way and that. “I can’t find a date…”
“Do you have the box?” I push up onto my elbows. It’s the most I can do with my bones acting like limp noodles.
“Nah. And now that I think about it, these are probably a few years old.” He frowns. “I guess we’ll have to get inventive.”
“We can use them anyway. Hope for the best?” I suggest.
“Are you on birth control?” He prowls toward me. “I’m clean as of my last yearly physical and haven’t been with anyone since then.”
I want to ask how long ago that was, but do I have the right? “I’m clean too.”
He raises an eyebrow.
“Ah, um, well, I’m not on birth control. I stopped taking it because…” I let the explanation trail away. Neither of us needs a reminder of why I’m currently unprotected.
“We won’t have sex.” He drops the foil strip on the bedside table. “There are plenty of other ways we can enjoy ourselves.”
There are. I know there are. But I can’t deny the stab of disappointment. I want Devon to fuck me. And I’m honest enough to admit I wouldn’t care if I got pregnant. Except he didn’t sign up for that. He didn’t sign up for anything.
“What has the wheels spinning?” He puts a knee on the bed next to my hip and brings our faces close together. “If you want to stop—”
“No!” Shaking my head, I take a breath and attempt to squash the panic. “No. I don’t want to stop. I want to keep going and I want to have sex. I don’t care if they’re out of date.”
His gaze locks with mine, his eyes dark with desire. “You want to take the risk?”
“Is it a risk?” I swallow. “I want to be a mom. It’s why I went off the pill. I’m thirty-four and I know it’s cliche, but my body clock is ticking. Plus I never wanted to be an old mom.”
“You aren’t old.”
“No. Not really. I just… I thought I was going to get everything I wanted.”
“You wanted to be married and have children with a man who doesn’t love you?”
When he says it like that, I realize how horrible my situation sounds to others. “No. Not really.” I swallow again, my throat more constricted this time. “I thought it was my last chance.”
“Well, it isn’t. You have time.”
“Not enough.” My gaze drops from his. “And I’m not sure I can do it again.”
He places a finger beneath my chin and tips my head up until our eyes meet. “Do what?”
“Marry a man I don’t love.”
“I don’t think that was your problem.”
I scoff. “Right. Because a marriage of convenience is every woman’s dream.”
“Maybe not. But it can work. With the right person and the right parameters. And total honesty from both parties.”
“I don’t think either of us was honest.”
“No. You weren’t. Most of all him, I think.”
I shake my head. “Not just Pe—”
“Don’t say his name when you’re naked in my bed,” he growls.
The sound rumbles through his chest and skips across my nerves, electrifying them. “Devon.”
“Yeah.”
“Can we get back to what we were doing?”
“Which was?” he asks with a cheeky grin.
“You fucking me.”
“What the lady wants—” He dives at me, wraps his arms around me and rolls across the huge king bed until he’s flat on his back and I’m straddling his hips. His cock trapped under my ass.
“Whoa.” My hands grip his shoulders as the world stops spinning.
Grinning up at me, he holds my waist and rocks my pelvis back and forth so his length slips through my wet folds. “Want you to ride me.”
A thrill shoots through me. I’ve never been on top before. I’m not ashamed to admit my sex life has been vanilla up until now. The oral and two orgasms Devon gave me tonight are the most adventurous I’ve been.
I’ve been the receiver of oral—and the giver—but it was never more than a few minutes of pleasuring before getting to the main part.
With Devon I think the whole night is the main part.
I start slow. Rolling my hips and experimenting with lifting and lowering over him. I’m finding what feels good for me while watching his reactions. He seems to enjoy everything. Then again, I’m not hating any part of this.
“Condom,” he growls. “I’m not even inside you and I’m so close things might get embarrassing.”
Leaning over, I grab the strip and tear one off. I go to pass the single packet over but Devon shakes his head.
“You do it. Put it on me.”
“Oh, I’ve never…”
“Never a better time to learn.”
His smile is challenging and sexy and the idea of sliding the protection down his thick cock has my insides coiling tighter.
I’m not the most graceful. I toss the strip back to the side table then tear into the packet. I rip it so fast and hard, the latex disc goes flying.
It lands in the middle of Devon’s chest.
“Oops.” I smile and scoop up the condom. It feels weird. To be honest, it’s a little gross but I’m not about to admit I’ve never held a condom before. Another vanilla thing. I always let my partner deal with protection for himself.
Devon is eyeing me with concentration and I know he can see more than I’m saying. Another weird thing about tonight. He seems to see right through me.
My thoughts are proven correct when he wraps his fingers around mine and helps me slide the condom down his throbbing length.
Now that I’ve got my hands on him, I realize how large he is. Not overly long but he isn’t short. It’s his girth that has me swallowing and wondering if having sex with Devon might be more than I can take.
“Stop.”
My gaze bounces up to meet his.
“Don’t worry. We’ll take it slow. I might want to fuck you and you might have demanded I do it, but I will never hurt you. And that includes here, in this bed.”
His words hold conviction, a truth I’m not sure I’ve ever heard from any man I’ve slept with. And for some reason that brings tears to my eyes. Unable to speak, I nod and finish covering his cock.
“All right. Up you go.” He grips my waist, lifts me over his hips, and says, “Line me up. Take your time. I’ll hold you as long as you need. You’re in complete control here.”
More tears sting my eyes and nose. Has any man ever given me that? I’m a follower. I shouldn’t be. I was raised to believe I’m above everyone else except I’m beginning to see things differently now.
The man beneath me has had a lot to do with the rose-colored glasses being torn away. I may have been the one who started to remove them but Devon has been there beside me every step of the way.
“Why couldn’t it have been you I was going to marry?” The words are out before I think them and I slap a hand over my mouth, eyes wide with panic and shock.
“Well.” He holds me up, carries on as though it isn’t a strain. “If it were me, I would not have been in a back room getting my dick sucked by someone else. I’d have been in there with you. But it wouldn’t be you on your knees. It would be me.”
“We wouldn’t have been in a church.”
“No?”
Shaking my head I reveal something I haven’t even told my best friends. “No. I always wanted to get married on the beach at sunset.”
“Then that’s what you’ll do. As soon as we can arrange it.”
“What?”
“You and me. You want control of the company. I can help you get it.”
“By marrying me?”
“Yes.”
I want to agree. I want to say yes. I want it so badly, I’m not sure I can deny him. No. I know I can’t. “Okay. As soon as we can arrange it.”
A smile curls his lips, and his hands squeeze my hips. “Let’s seal the deal. Take me in, Lizzi.”