Chapter 42
Chapter Forty-Two
Maximillian
MaxMc: Where are you?
Zoe: Go away Maximillian.
MaxMc: I thought we agreed that we’d talk.
Zoe: I had plenty of time to think about it and I don’t want to talk with you.
MaxMc: We agreed to have dinner—at my place.
Zoe: It’s not even lunchtime, but also, you’re the one who agreed. I thought about it and decided not to go.
MaxMc: Don’t make me look for you, Harper.
Zoe: Is that a threat?
MaxMc: No. I would never threaten you. I’m asking you to make this a little easier so we can have a conversation.
Zoe: I already tried that and your response was . . . shit. Zero-out-of-zero recommended.
MaxMc: I agree. I was a very stupid man. You told me I had a choice to be as involved as I wanted, right?
Zoe: Yeah . . .
MaxMc: Well, my involvement starts now, by taking care of my baby’s mama.
Zoe: Don’t call me that.
MaxMc: Are you going to make me look for you?
Zoe: I’m heading to Lily’s gallery. It seemed like a good day to go out for a walk.
MaxMc: Send me your location, and I’ll pick you up.
Zoe: I’m not sure if I want to be around you.
MaxMc: Well, at least we have that in common. I don’t want to be with myself either. I really fucked up this time. What do you say, can we share the same misery?
Zoe: You did screw up.
MaxMc: Maybe the next time I’ll do better, what do you say, give me a chance? (wink emoji)
Zoe: There’s not going to be a next time.
MaxMc: You say that now, but once you see a little Zoe in your arms you’re going to want more—I know I probably will.
MaxMc: One or two babies, right? A dog—living in a house. We just got started, babe.
Zoe: Stop playing with me.
MaxMc: Hey, I think I see you. I’m going to park and get you.
I spot Zoe walking briskly down the sidewalk, just a couple of blocks from Lily’s gallery. I pull into a parking spot, kill the engine, and jump out of the car, not wanting to waste another second. I can see the tension in her shoulders even from a distance, and I know I need to fix this before she tells her sister anything.
It’s not that I don’t want her sharing the news, but I want us to come to some kind of agreement before this becomes a three-ring circus. And I know it will be. The moment Mom finds out, I might have to drag her out of the country, so Zoe doesn’t have my loving and well-meaning mother hovering over her. That’s just the start; there’s the rest of the family, and everyone will have an opinion about our relationship, our child, and our future.
This has to be something we—Zoe and I—fix before it becomes a family affair and everyone decides they know what’s best for us.
That is exactly why you should’ve been smart the moment she told you. You didn’t even get to see the picture of your baby, idiot.
I grimace, pushing away the self-recrimination. This isn’t the time to think about what I should’ve done when she gave me the news. It’s the moment when I . . . What am I supposed to do? Think before I speak?
That’s all I have. I can’t believe I’m doing what Caleb said, but here goes nothing. I pick up my pace, my steps quickening as I navigate through the crowd. The busy streets of Cambridge are bustling with students and tourists, but all I can focus on is Zoe’s retreating figure. The sounds of the city blur into the background as I weave through the people, my heart pounding in my chest.
“Zoe, wait up,” I call out, my voice carrying over the noise of bustling Harvard Square.
She stops but doesn’t turn around immediately. When she does, her expression is a mix of frustration and something else—something softer that gives me a glimmer of hope.
“Max, I’m not in a good space right now,” she says, crossing her arms defensively.
I close the distance between us, trying to catch my breath. The cool air brushes against my face, mixing with the warmth of my rising panic. “I know, Zoe. And though I don’t deserve your time, I beg you to hear me. I messed up. Big time. And I’m here to make it right. If not right, at least better.”
She sighs, glancing toward the gallery, then back at me. “You’ve got one minute. Make it count.”
I take a deep breath, gathering my thoughts as the bustling crowd moves around us. “I was an idiot, Zoe. I panicked and said all the wrong things. But I want to be involved. I want to be there for you and the baby. I know I didn’t handle it well before, but I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”
Her eyes soften slightly, but she still appears skeptical. “Max, it’s not that simple. I told you to think about it, and a couple of hours is probably not enough time to make this kind of life-changing decision.”
“No, but just because the order is all screwy doesn’t mean I didn’t already want to make some kind of leap—change our dynamic. This just . . .” I pause, searching for the right words. “Changes a lot.”
“What are you talking about?” she asks, appearing confused and defensive.
I look around at the busy streets of Cambridge, the historic buildings of Harvard looming nearby. My heart races as I realize it’s now or never.
“I’m talking about us, Zoe. I’ve fallen in love with you, and I want to be with you. This . . . our baby. She’s just one more reason for us to figure this out together.”
Zoe hesitates, and I can see the conflict in her eyes. “Why should I believe you? You’ve said from the beginning that you want to be single for the rest of your life?—”
“That was before you stole my heart,” I argue, stepping closer. “You just went ahead, pushed through all my defenses, and then made me fall madly in love with you. Your wit, your kindness, your strength, your beauty—everything about you.”
“So, suddenly you love me?” she says skeptically. “No one can fall in love in less than an hour.”
“No. I realized it in Fiji. Unfortunately, my job took me away—for weeks—and when I got back, guess what I found out?” I do my best not to snap at her.
“What?” she asks, crossing her arms.
“You were going on a fucking blind date with a douche,” I say, anger flaring before I compose myself. “Like seriously, what the fuck? I did my best to send you flowers, food . . . everything so you knew I was thinking of you. And what were you doing?”
“She . . . Lily set me up and I didn’t know about it until she introduced me to him,” Zoe argues.
“You told me in a few words to fuck off that day,” I snap, pulling out my phone. “Over text.”
“Because, as I told you, I wasn’t in a good place anymore. We had an agreement,” she retorts, her voice rising slightly.
“We did, but we didn’t play by the rules. We broke several of them, if not all,” I say, forcing myself to calm down. This isn’t the place for this. “And then . . .” I place a hand on her belly, my touch gentle. “Everything changed one more time, and this is an entirely different endgame. But just because I need to catch up with the news, it doesn’t mean I suddenly stopped loving you—or want to be away from you.”
“You can’t just do this, Maximillian,” she says, her voice wavering slightly.
“What am I doing?” I ask, searching her eyes for any sign of the connection we once had.
“Throwing ‘love’ and . . .” Zoe’s voice cracks, and suddenly tears are streaming down her face. She tries to wipe them away, frustration evident in her furrowed brow. “God, I hate this. I can’t keep the waterworks away,” she mutters between sobs, her shoulders shaking.
My heart clenches at the sight of her distress. Without thinking, I step forward and wrap my arms around her. To my relief, she doesn’t push me away. Instead, she leans into me, her tears dampening my shirt.
“Hey, it’s okay,” I murmur, rubbing soothing circles on her back. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” I glance around at the curious onlookers. “My car’s just around the corner, I’ll take you to my place. We can talk there, okay?”
Zoe nods against my chest, her breath hitching as she tries to calm down. I keep an arm around her as we walk, navigating through the crowd. The short distance to my car feels like miles, but finally, we reach it.
As I open the passenger door for her, I catch a glimpse of her face. Her eyes are red and puffy, her makeup smudged, but she’s still beautiful. She slides into the seat without a word, and I hurry around to the driver’s side.
As I start the engine, I can’t help but feel a glimmer of hope. We have a long way to go, but at least she’s willing to listen. And right now, that’s all I can ask for.