Chapter 2
F amily time is just what I needed. A happy distraction, I even get a new tattoo from my brother’s shop. The dreary east coast sky was in the background of my mind as I spent Christmas in the Arizona desert. Of course, reality was waiting for me at Ravenwood.
When I stroll out of the yoga studio on campus, I didn’t expect to run into Eddie. Of course, it would happen. It’s a small school and a small town. Eddie, my ex, has his arm around a girl that I recognize from his accounting class. It has been nearly two months since we ended things for good.
Of course, she is beautiful, with a sweet smile and eyes that seem all too ready to worship him. She is the type of girl who he wants to be with. I feel a sharp pang in my chest and hurry to the other side of the street before they spot me.
Tears blur my vision and I hate that I still have shaken feelings inside. Following a familiar route, my feet move toward the local coffee shop, Black Feather. My hands scramble to put on my headphones, listening to a remix of Prince , letting the beats pound into my ears as I try not to think about the break-up conversation I had with Eddie. The one where he essentially wanted to change everything about me. That I am a flawed thing and couldn’t possibly fit in his version of me, his version of our future.
It’s the smell of the Black Feather cafe that pulls me out of the memory. Tanya, the owner, is an older lady with purple hair and concern written all over her face.
“Z?” She waves her hand in front of my face. “Are you okay?”
Like a doll, I plaster my best smile. “Yeah, sorry. I spaced out there.”
Tanya frowns. “You’re not thinking of your turd of an ex?”
Laughing, I nod my head. “Unfortunately.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Tanya moves around the counter, giving me a hug. “Fuck that guy.”
“Thanks.” I sigh. “I was doing well until I just saw him with his new girl.”
Tanya already knows my coffee order, already putting it together.
“Just give it time.”
My brain knows she’s right. I settle in the seat that lines the windows, watching as people walk up and down the street. Even though the cafe music is upbeat and my body is tired from yoga, I still have the energy to be in a bad mood.
The sad thoughts drift to Tripp, the other thing. Sleeping with him happened and I have yet to talk to him. Even though we could have called or texted, I could not bring myself to do it. Shame creeps up into my cheeks every time I look at his contact. My cowardice does the rest, and I deleted his contact because it felt better to banish him that way.
It’s not like Tripp was hankering to text me either. He had been just as silent, just as MIA. However, we were coworkers at the Tutor Center and eventually we will have to answer for what we did.
My mind thinks about that night. The traitorous part of me craves him. The sex was incredible, perversely enjoyable. My heartbreak, our truce and our tension from arguing for the last two years brought out something inside me. That night, I wanted to feel anything else but misery, to let me do what I wanted, and he let me.
Now, Tripp is likely celebrating for finally conquering me. Likely never wants to see me again. I hate that idea. Despite our petty arguments, he is a constant in my life, just like Summer. The days leading up to that moment, I saw us finally becoming friends.
“Z.” My spine stiffens and I turn slowly.
Speak of the devil. I recognize the deep timber of his voice. My eyes turn to find Tripp’s pale green eyes and for once, I can’t read him.
“We need to talk,” Tripp says, his tone serious. My body immediately reacts. Of course, my hind brain notices how gorgeous he is. Light stubble has appeared on his firm chin since I last saw him.
My body wants to run, to shrink into dust and disappear forever. I can feel my face heat as he continues to stare at me, his jaw and shoulders tense like he is about to deliver bad news.
“Let’s walk,” I suggest. Gathering my things and courage, Tanya shoots me a look as we walk outside into the bitter cold.
We are silent. A first for us. When we first met, he tried to seduce me, to manipulate me into taking his student in the evenings so he could go on a date. A date that was important to him. Of course, I knew better based on all the rumors about him. The moment he slept with her, I never heard of her again. After I spectacularly gave him my mind, we’ve clashed since. We bickered constantly in our shared classes, our teachers made sure to never assign us together.
Tripp matches my pace, hands in his jacket. Still tense and staring hard ahead. The grim look is something I’ve never seen in his usual shit-eating smiles.
My anxiety bubbles up and I can’t take it anymore.
“Look. We are two grown adults. Do we need to talk about what happened?” I blurt out.
Tripp stops and turns to me, eyes wide as I continue.
“I know you probably regret what happened, but I’m perfectly happy forgetting about it.” My hands stuff themselves into my jacket pockets, clutching the fabric inside.
Tripp remains silent, watching me.
“Can we just go back to what we did before?” I ask softly, filling the silence. “Pretend you hate me again?”
Tripp is frowning. His eyes are hard and angry.
“You want to pretend what we did didn’t happen?” He scoffs.
“Well, I mean, do you regret it?” I blink, and for once in my life, I can’t predict where this will go.
“Do you regret it?” he counters, scanning my face.
His question hangs in the air. The crazy thing is, I don’t regret it. Not one bit. Because that night, I felt so much like my old self. Felt like a goddess and I really enjoyed fucking his brains out, being in control. That night, he looked at me in a way Eddie never did. Like I was his past, present, and future. He made sure I knew I was the one causing his blissed out face he made when he came.
“I don’t.” My voice is small and I fill with dread, my brow sweats despite the cold. The admission speaks volumes, and I hate that.
Tripp suddenly moves in front of me and leans in, his voice just as soft. “I don’t either.”
My feet freeze in place on the sidewalk and I stare at him like I’m in the presence of a magical creature. If I move just a little closer, our lips would touch. I can feel his breath fan my face. The tension between us changed in an instant. It’s hot, electric, and if I don’t look away, I am going to fall into madness.
“Zoey,” he starts, his eyes falling on my lips. He never uses my name like that. In that way, like he’s trying to pray to me. “Zoey. Zoey.” A smirk appears, dimpling his cheek, the same one that drives me crazy.
Shuffling back, I try to gather all rational thoughts. Too bad they’re already out the window and miles away.
“Tripp. I need to understand. You don’t regret what we did?” I marvel at how steady my voice is.
Tripp shakes his head, and his grin continues to grow.
“Okay,” I squeak and start walking down the sidewalk, leaving him behind.
“Wait. Where are you going?” He moves in front of me.
“Home,” I reply. My mind needs a minute. Too much happening all at once in one afternoon.
“Let’s talk about this.” He continues to follow me.
“Listen, I’m glad you don’t regret it, but it can’t happen again.”
Tripp nearly stumbles to his feet and his mouth drops.
“Why not?” His hands find my shoulders. “Talk to me, Z.”
I try to strangle the frustrated sigh as I meet his gaze. “Look, I’m in no position or shape to be doing that with you.”
“Quite the contrary, little demon. I say you are in excellent shape and have quite excellent positions.” He winks. Old flirty Tripp is back and I roll my eyes.
“Seriously?” I rub my face.
“Look, I’m just checking to make sure you’re okay. I’m not looking for a girlfriend, I just want to make sure that you didn’t . . .” He starts slowly.
Ah, he was worried. Worried I was reading too much into something. Worried that I didn’t understand what was going on. I knew him, his lack of commitment. I knew this the day I met him. He has a revolving door of dates and a reputation with the ladies. He was the guy that was going to be the forever bachelor, the guy who would likely get bored in a relationship.
“God, you make yourself sound like your god’s gift to women.” My eyes roll hard, wondering if it ever occurred to him I was using him just as much as he was using me at that moment. “I know it was just a one-off thing that just happened and I’m not expecting flowers and chocolate.”
Pausing, I level my gaze at him. “I’ve just gotten through a breakup. I have no intention of dating.”
Tripp visibly relaxes. For a moment, I realize he was just as anxious about that night as I was.
“So we are back to being friends?” I want to get home as soon as possible. To be alone and to turn this strange day around.
“Yeah,” he says, grinning. “But if you ever need . . . a late night friend . . .”
My pulse spikes, and my pussy is enthusiastically consenting to this. My brain is wracking at the thought of doing it again.
“Are you serious?” My brows shoot to my hairline. “Why? I thought you were worried about me falling for you.”
“Because, darling, I have a reputation to uphold and needs.” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“I’m not following and I’m getting concerned that you’re suffering from all those hits to the head on the ice.”
“Z—sweetheart—you rocked my world that night. Like I didn’t expect it at all and I can’t have a reputation where I got bested in bed,” Tripp says, his voice serious again.
“What do you mean?”
“I let you have your way with me and frankly, I was unprepared that I was dealing with someone who can give it as much as she got.”
“So?” I say, my brow furrowing. I truly believe he’s gotten hit in the head too many times. “I got off, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, but only once. You did not get the Tripp you deserve,” he says. His glass-green eyes are honest. My god, the ego of this insane, beautiful man.
“Wait, you would have sex with me again because you didn’t have time to best me?” My head spins, my brain is telling me this is a stupid idea. My body craves him again. Craves that feeling he gave me.
“Yes.” Tripp nods enthusiastically. “I can’t stop thinking about it. I think you were disappointed that night.”
“Oh, my god, Tripp. You’re out of your mind.” I pull up my phone.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Pulling up the best neurologist in the country. You’re so fucked in the head.”
“I can get you easily as fucked in the head if you’ll let me,” he grins.
Rolling my eyes again, I continue down the path. Almost wishing Tripp never wanted to see me again, now he had me. “I know I made you my little bitch that night, but I didn’t expect you to get all bothered about it.”
Tripp moves in front of me, that fucking dimple deepening, taking the bait. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. I made you my bitch that night.” I meet his gaze. Delight fills when I find the same smoldering look from that night. The one holding promises of a good time.
“Sweet Z. I know I was surprised by discovering a sex goddess, but I was also trying to be a dignified gentleman,” he says, taking a step toward me. “You know, helping you through that broken heart of yours.”
“Oh?” I hold his gaze, meeting his intensity. “Was it when you were on your knees begging for me to let you eat me out, promising me many things? Is that your definition of being a dignified gentleman?”
“I said pretty please didn’t I?” Tripp licks his lips, his attention toward mine. The outside world didn’t feel cold anymore as his eyes transform from pale green to jet black.
Shaking my head, I tear my gaze away from him, glad to spot my car as I stroll across the parking lot. “Well, it was fun while it lasted.”
“Just think about it,” Tripp says quickly.
“Excuse me?”
“We are friends, we know each other’s lines, we’ve indulged in some benefits. Let’s be friends with benefits.”
“Tripp, that seems like more of a commitment than you would usually be into.”
“But it’s one I’m willing to try out.” He shows no signs of relenting. My brain weighs the pros and cons.
“I’ll think about it,” I say finally.
“Okay.” Tripp nods. “No pressure. If it happens, it happens.”